Chapter 1

Ding—Dong—

Ding—Dong—

…Hmm.

The annoying, incessant ringing of the doorbell dragged me out of my deep sleep.

“What the…?”

As I rubbed my eyes and sat up, I took in my surroundings.

The familiar view of my bedroom. No doubt about it, I was home.

But when did I fall asleep? And why was I still in my uniform on the bed?

“…Ah.”

Suddenly, a flash of memory returned to me just as I began to wake up.

A memory I wanted to erase but was etched in my brain.

“Right… Tirisia… I ran straight home…”

Having witnessed my beloved in a cheating scandal, I bolted from the academy straight to my bed and fainted.

How long had I been out?

Considering how stiff my body felt, it seemed I’d been unconscious for quite a while.

“Hah―”

With a deep sigh, I wiped my greasy face.

It wasn’t a dream, after all.

I had been betrayed by Tirisia.

“…”

But I felt strangely odd.

Was it because I’d just woken up after a long sleep, or did I bump my head while running home?

My head oddly felt fresh.

Sorrow, anger, hatred, resentment, betrayal, confusion, frustration.

Logically, all these negative emotions should have been swirling inside me.

Yet, there was no searing pain in my chest, nor chaotic thoughts.

It was just… simple.

I even felt as if my current self wasn’t truly me.

Is it true that people can reach a state of enlightenment after a huge shock?

Overflowing? I’m not sure, but whatever the case, what irritates me right now is that relentless doorbell.

Ding—Dong—

Ding—Dong—

It’s way too persistent to be a postman or an insurance salesperson.

It’s probably someone I know.

Although I didn’t feel like moving, they didn’t seem likely to leave anytime soon, so I should probably go deal with it.

“Ugh… Eugh…”

As I left the bedroom and glanced in the full-length mirror, my appearance was absolutely disgraceful.

My hair was a tangled mess, sticking out every which way, my face was puffy and shiny with oil, and drool had dripped down my chin.

My jacket, which I had gone to bed in, was now covered in dust from who knows where.

“…”

Clearly, I was not in my right mind.

Not that I could show myself like this, but it couldn’t be helped, so out I went.

I tried to wet my stick-dry tongue using the faucet, and as I stumbled toward the front door, I croaked out,

“Yeeah, who’s there―”

“!”

The person at the door stopped ringing the bell when they heard my voice.

After a brief silence, a familiar voice replied,

“Erto, it’s me.”

Ah… is that Tirisia?

Well, I guess it would be.

I let out a self-deprecating chuckle as I walked to the door, unlocked it, and opened it.

Creek—

Bright sunlight spilled into the dark hallway like a curtain being opened.

I squinted, my eyes pained from the light, but as they slowly adjusted, I saw a familiar face standing there.

“Erto…”

Her silver hair shone as if it were glowing under the sun.

Her emerald-like eyes sparkled brightly.

She was slightly taller than me, standing upright like a beautiful maiden.

It was Tirisia Bruerd, the noblewoman from the prominent Bruerd family.

To me, she was just my childhood friend and girlfriend.

No, should I say ex-girlfriend now?

“Uh.”

She called my name first, so I just gave a short response.

I didn’t have any words or desires to say anything particularly at that moment.

What I was curious about was what in the world Tirisia was going to say.

“Oh my…”

As expected, looking at my appearance, she couldn’t hide her shock and covered her mouth with one hand.

“…”

When I scrutinized her with a dissatisfied gaze, she quickly lowered her hand and cleared her throat softly.

She probably knew best who was responsible for my current state.

“I-I was worried… You haven’t come to the academy in three days…”

“Three days?”

Had I really been out for that long?

If I hadn’t woken up to the doorbell, I might have died of dehydration or something; yikes.

“Erto, are you okay? Do you feel sick or anything?”

“Um…”

“Why is your face so swollen?”

Tirisia’s white hand slid up to gently caress my cheek.

“W-whoa,”

I recoiled instinctively, escaping her touch.

“Ah,”

Realizing her hands were retreating too, she looked a bit surprised.

Old habits, I guess.

“I’m sorry.”

“Uh… I don’t think anything’s wrong for now.”

I straightened up and shrugged off my awkwardness.

Maybe I just didn’t notice any discomfort from waking up a moment ago, but I didn’t feel any real pain.

Except that I was seriously starving.

Grrrr―

A loud rumble came from my stomach, causing Tirisia to startle.

“Hungry? Should I bring you something to eat?”

Honestly, I wanted to say yes because I felt too weak to move, but in this situation, being hungry or starving wasn’t that important, so I lightly shook my head.

“Nah, don’t you have something more important to talk about?”

I intentionally tried to sound casual, but it made Tirisia flinch as if a sudden order had been given.

“Y-Yeah… You’re right…”

She took a deep breath, placed a hand on her chest, and bowed, as if her glimmering silver hair was touching the ground.

“I’m sorry!”

“…”

“I betrayed your heart, Erto.”

“…Ah, right.”

My gaze drifted from the top of Tirisia’s head to the clouds in the sky. It was a clear day.

So, it wasn’t a dream after all.

Indeed, it wasn’t.

“The scene I witnessed, that’s really what you are?”

No need for long explanations. Just one confirmation was enough.

…Nod.

Tirisia, who had been looking down, gave a slight nod.

“Look at me.”

I didn’t want to have a conversation with the top of her head. People should talk face-to-face.

I looked straight into those emerald eyes as Tirisia straightened up.

“Just making sure, but are you acting against your will due to some kind of threat?”

Her shimmering silver hair swayed left and right.

“I see… then what’s the reason? Why did you choose that man over me?”

“That is…”

“Is it satisfaction? Something like that?”

“……”

The silence was soon an acknowledgment.

“So, the conclusion is that you’re leaving me and going to him, right?”

Another silence.

Finally, I posed one important question.

“Is that the happiness you’ve chosen, Tirisia?”

Another silence.

“Really, truly, do you believe that kind of happiness awaits you?”

Her emerald eyes sank down as she answered in a trembling voice.

“I—I feel like… I have become that way now…”

“…I see.”

“I’m sorry…”

Since she had outright shown me that scene, there was no way to deny it.

In short, it meant I had lost as a man.

It meant that no matter the combination of everything about me, I couldn’t surpass the happiness that man offered Tirisia.

In a way, it’s a fundamental law of nature.

If it’s something Tirisia chose herself, then there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

Standing there with my brain momentarily shut down, I eventually nodded weakly and turned my back to Tirisia.

“I get it, I understand… I’m going to rest for a bit. You should too.”

Creek—

Just as I was about to close the door and return to the darkness, I heard,

“Erto!”

Bang!

Her white hand forced the door wide open again.

“Wait!”

“…Got more to say?”

Feeling the fatigue in my voice, Tirisia seemed to struggle to find words, her lips moving as her face flushed with excitement.

“Y-You can blame me! If you want to shout or hit me, that’s fine!”

“Huh?”

“I have committed an unforgivable sin. I must have given you a wound that you can’t heal.”

“Uh…”

It seemed she was fighting back some overwhelming emotions.

“I don’t know how to apologize to you. I can’t think of a way…!”

Her voice trembled with a fragile quiver.

“Even if you want to curse me and sever ties forever… I’d accept it! If that’s the price I have to pay, I’ll disappear from your sight…!”

“Tirisia…”

“So, please tell me! What should I do?”

“……”

The air in front of the door felt immensely heavy.

Realizing, Tirisia had clasped her hands and was holding onto mine.

Like a prisoner appealing for a suitable punishment.

I stared at our joined hands, lost in thought.

Resentment,

Apologies,

Normally, that’s how it should go.

Here stood a girl who broke a romantic relationship and chose another man.

As she said, it would be normal to explode with anger, curse their future together, and cause a scene.

The only conclusion is to upend everything I’ve shared with Tirisia, both as childhood friends and lovers, into a heap of waste.

I knew that well in my head. I felt it in my heart too.

But—

No.

Something felt different.

I sensed an odd feeling since waking up from a three-day-long slumber.

An unexpectedly simplified clarity of thought.

A yearning that leaked from deep within my soul.

It pushed me to say this to Tirisia, the girl who betrayed my love.

“Tirisia.”

“Huh…”

Gripping her hands tightly, I smiled brightly.

“I’ll support you!”

“Huh?”

“I hope you find a beautiful love!”

I must have truly lost my mind.

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