Chapter 119

“Raul Berze.”

It was a voice so clear and calm, unlike Camilla’s usual personality.

“Do you remember the day we first met?”

“Of course I remember. You were a timid girl, completely different from who you are now, trembling like a leaf.”

“…So you do remember.”

“Obviously.”

How could I forget? The day I first met you. It was the first time I had met someone my age. And…

“I never forget the name or appearance of a flower.”

“What kind of nonsense is that…?”

“It means I never forget the things I find beautiful.”

“You little brat…”

“What kind of word is that?”

My vocabulary wasn’t exactly vast. Maybe that’s why people around me always pointed out my lack of eloquence. My choice of words might be sloppy, but I’ve never made anyone feel frustrated.

“Ugh, whatever. Explaining that now would just ruin the mood…”

“The mood, huh…”

I didn’t quite understand, but there was something about this scene that made my chest feel warm.

Standing on the ruined castle walls, watching the sun set beyond the horizon, I felt like I had become a little more sentimental.

If this country hadn’t fallen, what would have happened? Could I have met Camilla? Could I have become a worthy member of the royal family? Or could I have even existed at all?

It’s ironic. What was a disaster for someone else is what made me who I am today.

“It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it? But also a sad one.”

I was surprised to hear the word “sad” come from Camilla’s mouth. I’ve seen and heard a lot, but this caught me off guard.

Camilla was a woman who belonged on the battlefield, amidst the war cries. I thought she had killed off that timid girl from back then, but it seems her sentimental side was still alive and well.

People are complex beings, after all. I guess I’m no different.

“The sunrise we’re seeing now must have been a treasure to that king. We see the beauty outside the walls, but he must have seen the beauty within.”

“I agree, but… are you really Camilla?”

“I’ll kill you for real. I do read books, you know.”

“Mostly about war or hunting, I bet…”

“Damn it, you know me too well. And it’s frustrating that you only know that side of me.”

“You always talk about things I don’t understand.”

“Do you hate that?”

“It’s better than only talking about things I already know. Nothing is as boring as hearing the same old stories over and over.”

Camilla giggled and started poking my cheek. Honestly, my whole body hurt, and I wished she wouldn’t touch me, but her touch was surprisingly gentle.

Was she being considerate of my pain? Thinking about it, she always was. Layla empathized with my pain, but it was always Camilla who bandaged my wounds.

Of course, she’d sometimes bandage my entire arm even if I only hurt my pinky finger, but still.

She always called me an idiot while wrapping the bandages.

“Camilla.”

“…I haven’t even brought up what I wanted to say yet. If you reject me now, I’ll kill you and then myself.”

“No, that’s not it. I’m just making a declaration.”

I didn’t want to turn away anymore. I didn’t want to turn away from those who stood up for me. Turning my head away because they were too bright—that irresponsible act was no different from what my mother did to me.

The reason didn’t matter. What mattered was the act of turning away itself.

If the King of Specters looked at the world through the eyes of a vengeful spirit, then perhaps I too had looked at the world with a similarly distorted gaze.

If the King of Specters rejected the world out of hatred, then I too had rejected the world out of disappointment and frustration.

I was also a specter. I was also not human.

So now, I will throw off my helmet.

“I won’t turn away anymore. Whether I reject or accept, I’ll look you straight in the eye.”

“That sounds cruel.”

“I can’t just accept without knowing what you’re going to say. You might be asking me to fight to the death.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad… No, no! That’s not what I’m trying to say today!”

Camilla getting angry like this was somehow cute.

Whether she was the dignified noble lady, the honest tomboy, or the warrior who swept across the battlefield, she was always cute.

She was a year younger than me, after all. The way she tried to act like we were the same age despite being younger was also kind of adorable.

“Raul Berze. My eternal friend and honorable comrade.”

“Camilla Argos. My eternal companion and trustworthy comrade.”

“I have something to say to you.”

“I have something I want to hear from you.”

Camilla took a step closer to me.

“When I first met you, you changed my life for the better.”

“You’ve kept me from straying down the wrong path until today.”

“I think I liked you from the beginning. The way you casually changed my life without a second thought. I realized that feeling later, though.”

“I didn’t fall for you at first sight or anything. I just felt sorry for a pretty girl like you crying. That feeling changed later, though.”

I also took a step closer to Camilla.

“Raul Berze.”

“Camilla Argos.”

“I’ll confess to you here and now.”

“I’ll listen here and now.”

Camilla took another step closer to me.

“I like you. I’ve liked you. And I will like you. At first, I gave up because Layla was by your side. Then I gave up because I felt guilty towards Layla. But what matters is you and me. It might sound selfish.”

And then she took another step closer. Was it me who moved? Or was it her? The moment was so enchanting that I couldn’t even tell.

I don’t know. But I felt like if I knew, the romance would disappear. Sometimes, not knowing the reason makes things more beautiful.

“Raul. I’m not Layla. I can’t be your perfect half. I can’t be a complete one. We can only be two imperfect beings. But even so, I want to be intertwined with you.”

“……”

“Balance isn’t always ideal. Sometimes, things that are irregular and unruly are more beautiful. No, let’s forget about all that artistic nonsense.”

“Camilla.”

“Hoo…”

Camilla took a deep breath, then shouted with a determined expression.

“Camilla Argos loves Raul Berze!!!”

A thunderous roar echoed, as if lightning had struck.

It was more like a warrior’s confession than a noble lady’s, but that’s just Camilla. A quiet, formulaic confession wouldn’t suit her.

Of course, I would have found even that kind of confession cute.

“…With a voice like that, you won’t stupidly ask, ‘What did you say just now?’ right?”

I wasn’t shameless enough to reject a woman who had mustered her courage like that.

And I didn’t plan to live as a coward who turns away from such feelings anymore.

If I said I wasn’t scared, I’d be lying. Of course, I was scared. Everything I felt when I held this hand was just fear.

The eyes of others, the sadness and anxiety I felt, the unease that came with the fading of life—all of it was terrifying.

But if I didn’t hold this hand, I would die as a specter.

Just as the King of Specters forgave the Empire.

I too was determined to face these feelings head-on.

“Camilla Argos. The time I have left is not long. The space I have to fill with something is limited. It’s like a small display case where I can’t fit much.”

“…I see.”

Camilla looked somewhat disappointed.

“If I just thoughtlessly cram decorations into that display case, it’ll end up looking shabby.”

“……..”

“So I want to fill it with something beautiful and precious.”

And then I grabbed her hand.

“With the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen.”

“…Okay. Wait, what…?”

“It might be a shabby display case, but please fill it with me. Decorate it so extravagantly that it hurts the eyes. Make it more beautiful than a treasure chest filled with thoughtless treasures.”

I decided to be brave.

I won’t become a specter who lives by watching the dead.

I won’t live trapped in obsession.

Because he showed me that end. As if to tell me not to become like him.

I too will accept that lesson and live as a human.

I will love as a human loves.

At first, my only goal was to breathe easily. Now it’s different.

I will become so happy that it becomes hard to breathe.

“I love you, Camilla Argos.”

Layla is dead. What has driven me until now wasn’t love, but obsession. If I loved her, if I were truly her other half, then I should have lived as if I were dead, following her.

I won’t become such a specter anymore.

I am Raul Berze. A normal human, not a specter.

“…Does this mean we’re really dating…?”

“I guess so.”

“Then everything that happens from now on is by mutual agreement, right…?”

“What kind of nonsense are you talking about now…”

I couldn’t make any more snide remarks.

Because a thrilling, intense, and sweet pair of lips sealed mine.

As our lips met, the thunder within us began to roar.