Chapter 90

Latri blankly stared at the spot where Raul had left.

The question of why he had left lingered, so she couldn’t bring herself to leave that spot.

Though she rarely expressed emotions, she had always been a child who obediently followed her parents’ orders. Just as she had been. She thought he was like her, but her words didn’t reach him.

“…I.”

She couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. It felt like the moment she did, she would lose everything. It felt like defining all the hardships she had endured as mere misfortune.

“I don’t know.”

She vaguely knew the answer but chose to look away. It seemed like the only way to endure.

“What do you mean you don’t know, you foolish woman.”

“…”

Latri quietly turned her head toward the direction of the voice. There, a crow with a dissatisfied expression was glaring at her.

Without hesitation, Latri swung her sword.

The sword strike not only obliterated the tree the crow was perched on but also turned the surrounding trees and rocks into dust.

“…A monster that can speak. It’s not unheard of, but a bird-type is a first for me.”

“You’re the first monstrous bitch I’ve seen too.”

“Today, the words I’m hearing are unusually sharp. But sharpness alone won’t leave a mark on my heart. The words that could leave a mark on my heart are…”

Latri swallowed her words. The person she was about to mention wasn’t someone a mere monster like this could speak of.

“You’re good at spouting love stories, but what would that esteemed person say if they saw you now?”

“…Don’t speak of him. He’s not someone a filthy monster like you can mention.”

“Oh, really? If he’s so precious, you should’ve taken better care of him.”

At those words, Latri, without realizing it, felt a surge of anger and swung her sword again. But as the crow suddenly landed on her shoulder, she was startled, leaving an opening.

However, before the blade could strike, a black wind swept through.

“An illusion…?”

As the surroundings changed, Latri, like the seasoned knight she was, drew a dagger and stabbed her left hand.

“…Since pain doesn’t wake me, this must be a type of illusion with limitations. Either a time limit or a specific condition to break it.”

Given the nature of sensory illusions, the time in the illusion and reality must be different. And illusions that can’t be broken by pain usually have peculiar conditions.

“Cheap tricks.”

She was certain it would show her something like her husband being murdered.

But what appeared before her was her younger self.

Her younger self, who, like Raul, or even more so, was treated with disdain. Unwashed and filthy, with only hardened bread to eat.

“Hey, half-wit, get up. We’ve got more sparring to do.”

“…”

“No wonder they call you the mute. So boring.”

Her father, who had many concubines, had nearly thirty children.

Among them, Latri, who was particularly small, was an easy target for bullying. Under the guise of family tradition, her innocence was shattered daily as she was torn apart.

Beaten by her stronger, larger siblings, having her food stolen by those who curried favor with them, and spending nights locked alone in a warehouse—it was a life unbearable for a child.

But Latri endured by brainwashing herself.

This is normal, she told herself. This pain is necessary. I’m not suffering from anything unreasonable.

And in the end, she cut them all down, crippling them, forcing her rationality upon them.

“…Bringing up such boring memories. How dull, it’s making me yawn.”

Despite Latri’s sarcasm, the crow’s gaze remained unchanged.

“Quite a monotonous hell. I thought it’d be a story filled with more tears and rage.”

“I don’t see the problem. I was weak, so I had to live like crushed trash. Later, I became strong and imposed the family’s rationality on them, just as they had done to me.”

“Sure, that’s not for me to judge, but…”

“My son’s situation is no different. What he went through is not much different from what I did. To become strong, one needs rational pain…”

“You’re really making me want to curse.”

Suddenly, the blades of the Sword of Four Forms pierced Latri’s abdomen.

Though she wouldn’t die in the illusion, the pain was real.

Latri gritted her teeth but didn’t let out a groan.

“……You wouldn’t hesitate to resort to vulgar violence.”

“Can I return the favor?”

“……Fine.”

“From now on, every time you make me want to curse, I’ll stab you with the Sword of Four Forms. I’m in a foul mood lately because of some trash causing chaos.”

Her expression twisted as if she had eaten something sour, and with a black wind, she trapped Latri in a new illusion.

—

“What’s next? It’s obvious…”

Latri thought it would show her the time she was captured by barbarians.

It would undoubtedly be a painful and humiliating illusion, but she was confident she could endure it.

If she had overcome it in reality, there was no way she couldn’t now.

But the crow wasn’t foolish enough to show her something so predictable.

—

“Lady Latri!!!”

“Ha…”

From afar, a sickly man came running with open arms.

And a female knight looked at him with disdain.

The two were stark contrasts. Latri, with her healthy appearance, hair like the night sky, and star-like eyes, and Arthur Berze, a sickly young man with platinum hair.

“If you’re planning to stick something strange on my armor again, I’ll cut you.”

“Tch…”

He hid the caterpillar he had picked from the grass behind his back and spoke to Latri.

“I heard you’re going on another expedition.”

“Where I go is none of your concern.”

“Even so, shouldn’t I care about my fiancée’s whereabouts?”

“It’s just an engagement arranged by the family. You don’t need to concern yourself.”

“In life, even a brush of the sleeves can be fate. Isn’t this connection extraordinary?”

“No, it’s ordinary. If anything, it’s less than that.”

Even though it was an illusion she couldn’t interfere with, Latri wanted to strangle her past self.

Knowing all too well what was coming, she wanted to break her own neck to shut that mouth.

—

“My, my, you keep saying things that would make any fiancée sad. I almost shed a tear.”

“I’m not a fool who only says what you want to hear. If you want that kind of woman, go to a tavern.”

“Is there a tavern with a woman as beautiful as you? It’d surely be packed.”

“How transparent.”

Back then, Latri’s tone wasn’t much different from Raul’s. Stiff, self-centered, and inconsiderate of others’ feelings.

“Oh, how embarrassing~!”

Latri found it disgusting as he exaggeratedly hugged himself and acted out.

The head of the Berze family, yet he lacked the dignity or grace befitting his position.

Like an empty husk, only shiny on the outside.

“If you have nothing more to say, I’ll take my leave.”

“I have a thousand things to say, but only one thing to convey, my lady.”

“…That’s a line from a cheap romance novel.”

“Oh, you knew that?”

Arthur Berze smirked.

“But how do you know that, my lady?”

“…!”

“It’s from the third volume of my novel, ‘The Lady Wants to Be Loved by the Family Head.’ Are you perhaps a fan…?”

Latri, without realizing it, swung her fist, but her wild swings couldn’t hit him.

Arthur Berze continued to smile brightly at her.

“It’s a novel I wrote hoping we could be like that.”

“…It doesn’t matter either way.”

“I wish you could live like the protagonist of that novel. Not in a blood-soaked battlefield, but in a life filled with love.”

Though his expression seemed sincere, Latri didn’t take him seriously.

She believed the love of a man who had never held a sword was worthless.

And so, she said something she would regret for the rest of her life.

“I have no need for the love of a frivolous man like you.”

“…I see.”

“Novels are just novels. They have value precisely because they’re unattainable.”

Latri, as if begging the crow, knelt and pleaded for this vivid illusion to end.

But the crow was cruel, and the illusion didn’t stop.

She had to endure even a fraction of the pain Raul had suffered.

“I will never love a man like you.”

She could never take back those words.

And Latri, who knew that better than anyone, lay on the ground, begging for it to stop, but the crow was merciless.

“Don’t you think it’s pathetic to be like this because of your own harsh words? How many people have been hurt by that filthy mouth of yours?”

“Please, stop…”

“It’s too late for regrets, and you can’t take it back. And the real highlight isn’t even this level.”

For the first time, Latri almost shed tears from the suffocating pain.

“My son… no, your son’s pain wasn’t just this much. Well, everyone thinks their own pain is the greatest. Even if someone is stabbed in front of you, the thorn in your hand hurts more. But even if your finger hurts…”

“…..”

“You shouldn’t have driven the knife deeper into someone else.”