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Chapter 65

“Mo, it’s all our fault… We deeply apologize, so please forgive us…!!!”

The sight of an old officer, well past his prime, prostrating himself in apology was quite pitiful.

“…Captain Hallen, was it?”

“Yes! That’s correct!!!”

“Let me ask you. Where did the money you embezzled go?”

“Th-that is…”

“I don’t like repeating myself. I’d prefer not to have my mood ruined further.”

“It was used to boost the morale of the officers stationed in the remote area, whose spirits had fallen…”

I didn’t need to hear any more.

“So, you spent it on alcohol. There must be a tavern around here.”

I can understand that sentiment. I, too, have drowned my sorrows and pain with alcohol on the battlefield, so I can’t blame them for drinking.

However, I can’t help but condemn the cost of that alcohol. The coins they spent on drinks were surely earned through someone else’s blood and sweat.

To extort from those they were supposed to protect—what a contradiction. Or perhaps they were already accustomed to it.

Those who should protect instead abuse and exploit their charges.

“Now, even this familiarity feels new, and this newness feels familiar.”

I despised those who failed to fulfill their duties.

Those who don’t grant proper rights to those who fulfill their duties, and those who enjoy rights without fulfilling their duties—both equally irked me.

Perhaps that’s why I despise the Minister of War. That man abandoned his duties as soon as the rebellion succeeded and started wandering aimlessly. No, he was one of the fundamental causes of our duties in the first place.

“I regret sacrificing so much to protect this country. That regret is always new, and yet it feels familiar.”

As the Demon King said.

This is a country without belief. A worthless country not worth Layla’s sacrifice. A disgusting place where people only care about filling their own stomachs, indifferent to others’ fates.

It’s hell—no, worse than hell. At least hell is a just place where the wicked are punished.

“Disgusting and pathetic, as always.”

The Imperial Palace guards who stood against me during the rebellion were like pure spring water compared to these scum.

A country where the pure spring water has all evaporated, and only filth remains.

“But, Lord Raul, we also had no choice but to resolve our meager salaries…”

“Meager salaries? What are you talking about? All Imperial officers… Ah.”

It seems things have rotted beyond repair. No matter how hard Camilla’s brother tried, he couldn’t extend his reach to these remote areas.

Is this how the dedication of someone too busy to care for the frontiers is exploited?

What should I call this feeling that’s so irritating I can’t even put it into words? No, that’s not important. These people disgust me.

“One last question. What do you mean by letting in people without identification?”

“Th-there were three men and women who came by recently and offered a large sum of money, so we let them in… We couldn’t resist the taste of that money…”

“I didn’t ask for excuses. What were they doing?”

If they were wanted criminals or merchants selling prohibited goods, I don’t know what they were thinking.

No, I don’t want to understand the logic of these people at all.

I don’t want to understand Seonje, my mother, or these people. My capacity for understanding isn’t that broad. There’s no need to strive to understand things that don’t need to be understood.

No, I no longer want to understand things I don’t know. It only brings pain.

“They didn’t seem suspicious. A wolf-like man with three swords… a white-haired woman missing an arm… and a knight clad in full armor.”

“What?”

It was them.

The Demon King himself and his two aides. The Dragon Queen and the King of Specters. Disgusting beings I couldn’t face alone.

But their strength didn’t matter. What mattered was that they had stepped beyond this point. That was all.

“These incompetents…”

Kyle, who also knew their appearances, looked at them with disgust.

“I’ll leave the horses here. Take good care of them. That way, I might show a little leniency when I punish you later.”

Kyle and I abandoned the horses and started running at full speed. Like bulls charging forward, we ignored the scenery around us and just ran.

I couldn’t lose anything else. It wasn’t a long connection. It wasn’t a particularly meaningful relationship. I didn’t cherish them as much as Layla or my other friends.

Still, they were mine. Not in the sense of ownership, but in the sense of connection.

If they severed what connected me to them, I wouldn’t be able to bear the despair and would end my life.

They were people who initially opposed me but gradually accepted me. Someone who shared bread with me without any ulterior motive. A woman who worried about me.

I didn’t want to feel powerless again. Beyond pride and honor, honestly, I wanted to breathe in that village. Selfish as it may sound, I wanted to protect my right to breathe.

“Haa… haa…”

The side effects of forcibly boosting my physical abilities were already starting to show.

“Lord Raul, catch your breath a little. Even on horseback, it would take a full day to reach…”

“I endured more than this when fighting the Demon King. This much…”

“Back then, the dragon’s poison hadn’t spread as much as it has now. Besides, you and the others were consuming all sorts of awakening drugs and potions beyond lethal doses…”

It was a cowardly method, if anything.

We consumed illegal awakening drugs and body enhancement potions to their limits. We used all sorts of curses, body modifications, astronomically expensive drugs… and even life-sacrificing techniques to defeat the Demon King.

Unlike him, who relied solely on his own skills, we used every means at our disposal.

Cowardly good versus righteous evil. That was us. No, considering the cause of the war, we had no right to call ourselves good.

I have no interest in good or evil. I just want what’s mine to exist safely. Then and now.

Even if the Demon King has a just cause, I will use his righteousness to trample his justice for the sake of what’s mine.

“Let’s go.”

After catching my breath for a brief moment, I took a trivial step forward. Like a human kicking the ground, I crossed the forest with the mindset of a beast.

As we crossed the forest, Kyle shouted urgently.

“L-Lord Raul…!!!”

“…!”

What I saw was black smoke.

Though obscured by the dense trees, thick smoke was rising from the direction of the village.

“I…”

“No, we don’t know yet, Lord Raul. If you give up now, Lady Layla will curse you. You know that better than anyone!”

“…Right.”

I prayed that my assumption was wrong and pushed my heart to beat even faster.

I ran and ran, praying for the first time that my assumption would be wrong.

I wished for the absurd hope that what I imagined would be denied, hoping the gods would find it amusing, as I continued my trivial sprint.

“Haa… haa…”

How long did I run? After running until my sense of time was numb, I arrived at the village faster than expected.

And what greeted me was…

“Oh, Lord? You said you had important business, but you’re back already?”

Cecilia, with a skewer of meat and vegetables in her mouth.

“You don’t look well. Is something wrong…?”

“What was that smoke? Is everyone safe?”

“Ah, today is an important village festival. Though it’s just roasting hunted meat and vegetables on skewers.”

A festival… It didn’t seem like such a big event would produce so much smoke.

“But the wind caused the embers to spread to the abandoned warehouse, so we had quite a time putting it out.”

“That’s a relief… It was just my misunderstanding…”

It didn’t matter what the Demon King, who hadn’t come here, would do.

What they might do in the future didn’t matter at all.

What mattered was the present, where I hadn’t lost anything yet. Selfish as it may sound, that was all that mattered.

I have the right to be a little selfish, don’t I?

“That’s really a relief…”

“Lord…? You don’t look well. And that uniform…”

I wanted to answer her properly, but my mouth didn’t follow my heart.

My vision blurred with red and blue, and I felt both cold and heat simultaneously.

“Lord Raul!”

Kyle’s voice echoed from afar.

If Kyle’s here, he can handle first aid.

I could lose consciousness with peace of mind. Nothing had burned, and no one had died.

Then it’s really okay to rest.

“Kyle… explain things to this woman… and the medicine in my pocket…”

I couldn’t finish my sentence as I lost consciousness. The intense anxiety that had kept my fragile mind intact had disappeared.


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The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

Status: Completed

I am a mediocre person.

As a lord, as a knight, as a family member, let alone as a human being.

Therefore, I wanted to let go of everything that was too much for me and abruptly leave.

No one would want to stop me, nor could they.

I just wanted to breathe easily in a quiet place and disappear like that.

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