Chapter 11

In the dream, I saw a faint figure of a person. No matter how much I stretched out my hand, I couldn’t reach or see their face, but I knew who it was, so I kept trying to reach for them.

Yet, it felt like I was stuck in a swamp—my feet wouldn’t move. Even though my hand could stretch out, I couldn’t move forward.

“Indeed.”

This dream wouldn’t let me grasp that figure. Like the boundary between life and death.

Unable to hold onto it, my bloodied hand had already transformed into the ceiling of a new house.

“You were mumbling something in your sleep, so I almost jumped out of my feathers. Did you have a scary dream?”

“No. I don’t usually have scary dreams.”

I answered the crow’s question in a dry voice.

“…It was just a very futile and miserable dream. So much so that I’d rather have a nightmare.”

“By the way, aren’t you surprised that I’m outside the cage?”

“It’s your freedom to come out of the cage, so why should I be surprised? If you really want, I can give you a fake surprised response, though.”

The reason I never closed the cage door was so that it could leave whenever it wanted. I only provided a place to sleep and food—forcing it to stay by my side would be violence.

The same goes for Rizel and Mother. I can’t force them to stay with me either. Since they didn’t force me, I didn’t force them either.

Forcing one’s emotions and position onto others is the ugliest form of oppression.

“Raul-nim, I’ve brought your meal.”

Betty skillfully brought breakfast at the time I usually wake up.

Crispy bacon, a salad with onions, bread with ham, and some miscellaneous items like butter and tea made up today’s breakfast.

“…I don’t have much of an appetite today.”

“Huh…? I worked hard to make it…”

“You can eat it then. Don’t misunderstand—I’m not blaming your skills. It’s just that I can’t eat onions and pork.”

Besides, I wanted to properly observe this village that I hadn’t been able to explore due to my fatigue.

“I’ll be back soon.”

Stepping outside to catch some morning breeze, the sun was already high in the sky. The morning breeze I wanted to feel wasn’t blowing.

“Today is quite a miserable day.”

With just a cane in hand, I started walking around. The village wasn’t very large, but there were mountains and a river nearby, and a bit further was the sea.

I heard that the lord who once protected this place fled, and the villagers took up arms to defend their village themselves.

I couldn’t help but respect them. I relied on my many subordinates, comrades, and my own mediocre martial arts to protect myself, but they defended their hometown with their own strength, without any help.

And in a way, I was also a little glad. They didn’t face the calamities we did—the Dragon King, the Blood Demon Lord, the Undying King, the Cursed Sword, or the Monstrous Bird.

“Are you the new lord…?”

An old man, likely over 80, interrupted my meaningless joy.

“That’s correct.”

“Oh my, such respect for a worthless old man. You don’t have to be so formal.”

“I’m comfortable like this.”

“Hoho, you’re quite an unusual person.”

The old man sat on a nearby bench and started tapping the spot next to him, signaling me to sit.

I didn’t understand why, but it seemed the conversation wouldn’t start until I sat, so I took the seat.

“I heard you had quite a rough time yesterday.”

If it was about yesterday, it must’ve been about the villagers’ reaction and that pile of documents.

“Just to confirm, are you referring to the reaction the villagers showed me yesterday?”

“You must’ve been angry, right? A noble like you, who’s never been treated like that before…”

I didn’t live a peaceful enough life to find such treatment special. Besides, that amount of work was nothing to me.

“I didn’t feel any particular emotion. Knowing the background of this village, I thought it was perfectly natural.”

Honestly, I understood their situation. It was only natural for them to be wary of me, and I even found the woman who boldly confronted me with work admirable.

“It seems we’ve got quite an excellent lord in our village. Too excellent for a small village like this.”

I had no choice but to shatter the old man’s expectations. Remaining silent to such expectations would only lead to a great betrayal later.

“I’m not that excellent of a person.”

“Hoho…”

“I didn’t attend my father’s deathbed. I killed a friend who was like a benefactor to me. I betrayed my younger sister. Do I still seem like an excellent person to you?”

He would surely despise me. But if he was going to find out eventually, it was better to say it now.

“Well, to this old man, you still seem like an innocent young man. Trying to break this old man’s stubbornness—you’re quite reckless, Lord.”

I couldn’t understand. Each of those was a disgusting mistake and a sin. That’s why people hated me.

So why didn’t this old man hate me? Why didn’t he despise me? Even if my friends might, this old man had never met me before.

Why was he throwing stones into the calm pond of my heart?

“Why is that? If you’re trying to win me over, it’s pointless.”

“What would this old man gain from winning you over? It’s just…”

The old man said something I had never heard in my life. I had heard each word before, but the combination was new.

“…Because I haven’t heard the circumstances of why you did such sad things.”

“…Why.”

My always cold reason heated up.

Ripples began to form in my mind, which should have been calm and peaceful.

“Why can you say such things…”

Grrr.

But at that moment, the sound of my stomach growling made the old man chuckle.

“Well, Lord, skipping meals won’t do. Whether you’re a lord, a carpenter, or a baker, we all eat to live.”

The old man took out a loaf of bread from his basket, split it in half, and handed me one piece.

“What is this?”

“This old man’s lunch. My wife bought it so I wouldn’t eat out. It’s not bad.”

It was just rye bread with slightly smelly cheese in between.

“Why are you giving this to me?”

“Didn’t I split it to share?”

I couldn’t understand.

I had already warned him that even if he did this, I wouldn’t give him any favors. So this act was clearly meaningless.

Why would someone who didn’t know me well do this? Why show kindness without expecting anything in return? I, being dull, couldn’t comprehend it.

“Go ahead and eat. It’s not like it’ll go cold.”

Not wanting to trample on his kindness, I took a bite.

The bread’s crust was rough, the inside dry, and the cheese was overly strong. Yet, it had a nostalgic taste. It wasn’t the bread or the cheese that felt nostalgic.

It was something in the process of this act that felt nostalgic.

“…Thank you for the meal.”

“Is your throat not dry? I brought some wine…”

“I’m fine.”

I didn’t want to drink now. I didn’t want to use it as an excuse to bring out what I had buried inside.

“Next time, I’ll treat you.”

“Hohoho, this old man is getting spoiled in his old age.”

“Enjoying what you deserve isn’t a problem.”

I got up to head to my next destination. And I was scared that if I stayed by this old man, I’d end up telling him trivial stories.

“But isn’t that the same for you, Lord?”

At those words, I turned to look at the old man.

“What do you mean?”

“Hohoho… It’s just this old man being embarrassed and talking nonsense.”

Right. This old man couldn’t possibly know me. Only a handful knew about that. He was just embarrassed and talking nonsense.

“But, Lord, could I make a small request in return…?”

“A small request, you say…?”

“That child who was rude to you yesterday.”

The old man was clearly talking about the woman with snow-white hair who came to me with documents yesterday. Cecilia, was it?

Objectively speaking, she was quite beautiful.

It’s rare for a woman so young to represent people, so she left a strong impression.

“That child works at the Adventurer Guild down that road to the right. She’s an A-rank adventurer.”

“That sentence doesn’t make the request valid.”

“Could you go and see how she works?”

It wasn’t an improper request or a difficult one. And I couldn’t see how fulfilling it would benefit the old man in any way.

“I’ll grant that request.”

“But, Lord, one more question… Do you have an ideal type of woman?”

“I don’t really judge by looks, but…”

I looked at my once blood-stained, terrible hand. And thinking of the owner of that blood, I continued.

“…Someone who can move forward stubbornly. Someone who can take my pitiful hand and lead me. Someone bold enough to break through anything blocking the path.”

“Ooh…”

“And I like someone who smiles a lot.”

“Hoho, that’s asking too much.”

Once again, I couldn’t understand the old man’s words.