Fear.
It is the most primal emotion that living beings can feel.
Therefore, fear is always the strongest motivation for any living creature.
They flee from predators, starve and thirst due to fear, and dream of safer places when faced with an uneasy environment.
In this way, living beings are fundamentally bound to fear something throughout their lives.
This is because it is an essential emotion for survival.
But what about those known as mages?
They may even sacrifice their lives for new knowledge they do not yet understand, forget to eat and drink for research, and throw themselves into uncertain environments.
Then does this mean they are beings who have overcome the fear inscribed in the mana arrangement of living beings?
No, that is not the case.
Mages simply have different fears than others.
What they hold as dearly as their basic needs are the three pillars of a mage.
Knowledge, authority, and will.
Therefore, they fear the collapse of these more than death itself.
The stagnation of knowledge, the loss of authority, and the breakdown of will.
To them, these are death itself.
However, Luke has already experienced all of this.
The stagnation of knowledge, that horrifying magical dark age he felt five thousand years ago.
He could see no way for the concept of immortality, an ‘infinity’, to be contained by human hands.
The loss of authority, something he faced the moment he awakened in this era.
He was so anxious to engrave the circle anew that he left his home as a mere child to seek out the artificial World Tree.
The breakdown of will, when he lost control of his instincts inscribed in his body and succumbed to their leading role.
A catastrophic event that shook the fundamental premise that ‘his body is his own.’
Since that event, Luke has been consciously emitting his instincts in a bid not to repeat that experience.
Mages fear the disruption of their known rules and laws ‘far’ more than mere death.
Because to them, that is everything that defines them.
Luke’s ignorance and insensitivity toward ordinary fear are based on this.
The fear a mage can feel, as the embodiment of rationality, differs from the instinctive fear embedded in living beings.
The ‘Great Mage Luke Irushi’, who has existed with a mindset different from ordinary people from birth, has thus been unable to fully understand the fears of others.
He merely recognized and memorized what to fear, learning it as a trend in the greater populace, but did not empathize with that fear.
Then, where does the fear he feels in his mage attire stem from?
‘Fear, instinct, and death.’
The contemplation was not lengthy.
“Parvati.”
Sigarmata mentioned that the fragile ego of the hatchling formed within the Dragon Heart was “afraid of something.”
At that time, Luke thought it was merely fear directed toward the world, but that was not the case.
The child, Parvati, fears the ‘mage’.
Furthermore, Parvati lost her life to that very ‘mage.’
Then, understanding the motivation behind that fear becomes clear.
She must be afraid of the ‘mage’ who brought her death.
Though she was born as a dragon at the pinnacle of life, being something not even close to mature, she would be far more emotional and fragile than expected.
However, why had she not felt this fear until now?
Reflecting on instances makes it simple.
The ‘mage’ that Parvati knew would not have used the same class magic as he does now.
Back then, everyone used ‘Circle Magic’.
‘Circle mages are rare in this era; everyone employs the more systematic and safer upgraded classes.’
Thus, from Parvati’s perspective, they were not ‘mages’.
Because they did not possess a circle.
And now, before her stands the mightiest ‘Circle Mage’ of all.
The most orthodox, traditional, and overwhelming Circle Mage of this era.
None other than ‘Luke Irushi’.
Finishing his thoughts, Luke pressed his forehead tiredly.
The fact that a part of him, ‘the mage that is himself’, fears something, signifies a lot.
‘Is the current me really the creation of Luke Irushi?’
Inserting the potential for self-denial into a mage’s identity is a huge risk.
He wouldn’t have actively placed his identity as ‘Luke Irushi’ even knowing that fact.
In the making of a chimera, the formation of identity is the final stage.
Did the past ‘Luke Irushi’ have no idea that this Dragon Heart contained the ego of ‘Parvati’?
Well, it would be quite naive to assume that a being with the authority of 10 Circles in complete magic sight would overlook that identity.
During the creation of a chimera, there is also the process of stabilizing by removing any potential issues or memories that could become problematic.
However, what about now?
It seems like he never went through any stabilization process, resembling a patched-up rag doll.
Initially, he thought, ‘Was I merely in a hurry?’ but somehow now, it feels beyond that level.
Memories are sporadic, form and design are not harmonious, and identity is unstable?
Isn’t there a chance that this was ‘accidentally created?’
‘Accident?’
As this thought arose, Luke momentarily halted.
What if the body of this chimera was not made to reach immortality, and that the true ‘purpose’ was something else?
‘No way…’
——————
Yerna was quite worried about Luke’s gloomy expression.
Luke’s expression had not been bright since they left the House of Fears.
Because of that, the group felt a rather somber atmosphere alongside Luke’s expression.
“Lu, is there somewhere you want to go?”
At that question, Luke shook his head.
He no longer had anywhere he particularly wanted to go.
The rides did not promise enough novelty or special experiences to wait in line, and he had many things weighing on his mind.
“I just want to go home now.”
“Is that so? Is everyone done having fun?”
At that, Pyris and Diana responded with opposing reactions.
“Yes! I had so much fun.”
“Me too, yawn… I’m getting sleepy now…”
“Dayton, what about you?”
“Uh…”
Dayton also found it hard to withstand the atmosphere, merely nodding in agreement.
He thought that this gloomy atmosphere was derived from his own fingertips.
After suggesting the ‘House of Fears’ to Luke, now they ended up like this.
“…”
At that moment, Yerna’s glances were quite painful.
If she did not have the cat-eared headband that she still hadn’t taken off, he might have collapsed under that cold gaze.
——
Arriving at the car parked in the parking lot, Diana rubbed her eyes and said.
“Oppa, I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Do you know where it is?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll tell you, so where it’s…”
At that point, Luke, who had been carefully placing the doll in the back seat, spoke up.
“Diana, I was about to go too. Let’s go together.”
“If unnie goes, I want to go too!”
When the three children simultaneously declared they were going to the bathroom and vacated the seats, Yerna sighed and unlocked the car.
Click.
Loading the souvenirs and baggage they bought at the amusement park into the trunk, Dayton looked at Yerna and spoke.
“Haha. It was harder than I thought, right?”
“…Yeah.”
Yerna nodded weakly.
They had created many memories but it had also been exhausting.
So now thinking of returning made her feel somewhat relieved.
Now that there were no children around, it should be fine to relax her expression a bit; she did not plan to hide her weariness.
However, Dayton, thinking that Yerna’s expression was due to the ‘mistake’ he made at the last moment, said.
“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have suggested going there last.”
“Ah, right. I should’ve been more careful about that. But I also hadn’t thought about it in that way; I think it couldn’t be helped.”
Yes, to be honest, she could not blame Dayton for what had happened this time.
When Dayton first pointed to that place, she herself hadn’t considered it too deeply either.
Perhaps she could have made a similar mistake herself.
Having thought about Luke for so long and spent time together, she had grown quite accustomed to him.
‘It’s difficult.’
Thud.
After closing the trunk, Yerna placed her hand on it and said.
“So, you don’t have to apologize to me. You should apologize to Luke.”
“Ah… okay.”
Dayton felt a bit bitter about Yerna’s expression, which was not quite cheerful.
What he had stirred in Luke was quite serious, a trauma from ‘the past’.
At that moment, Yerna called out Dayton’s name.
“Dayton. Do you really think I can become a mother? Really… Is it alright to become a family?”
“…Huh? Yerna, why suddenly?”
Surprised by Yerna’s words, Dayton lifted his head to find that the confident and vigorous Forest Keeper was nowhere to be found; only the troubled face of a woman uncertain about the future remained.
“I just… don’t know. I don’t know if I can truly raise Luke. He always says he’s fine, but… wouldn’t everyone think it’s strange? Am I not rather a hindrance to Luke’s future?”
Luke always says he’s fine.
Because he doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know this world and what true happiness is.
Yerna turned her gaze to the Magic Kitty doll sitting neatly in the back seat as she continued.
“Maybe I just think of Luke as a cute doll? Even if I think I’m okay now, what if, later… as time passes, this feeling cools down, wouldn’t Luke and I both become unhappy?”
Blood does not run between them, their races differ, and their dietary habits and thought processes are vastly different.
They are truly complete strangers.
But can she continue to hold these feelings for Luke?
“I’m not sure.”
“…”
At Yerna’s confession, Dayton was slightly shocked.
He had never realized such inner thoughts of Yerna before.
From the outside, they simply appeared as a caring child and elf.
Like a true mother and child.
Yet, listening to Yerna’s concerns made him think that such worries could arise.
It hasn’t even been a year since they met Luke.
Moreover, their relationship began with a compulsion, so it is natural to worry about whether a healthy mother-child relationship could form.
Yerna lacks the experience to reach a conclusion.
He does too.
Dayton approached Yerna and said.
“It’s okay; becoming a parent is like that. It’s not necessary to be thoroughly prepared to become a parent.”
“What? Is that really true?”
“Of course; everyone lives like that.”
Yerna found that statement quite refreshing.
Hearing thoughts about marriage from the perspective of a different race was a first for her.
As a race that enjoys a relatively long life, elves usually only form families when everything is ‘prepared.’
From the timing of a child’s birth onward, they almost plan out most of their lives and thoroughly check that there would be no problems before having children.
This is because it is the way elves, who value harmony, operate.
However, for many races aside from elves, becoming parents is different.
“It might seem irresponsible to elves, but yes. If you have the willingness to become a parent, that’s enough. And did you forget? I’m already prepared.”
Yes, what he confessed to Yerna was definitely the truth.
He had contemplated enough about this.
In terms of parenting, he could say he was several steps ahead of Yerna.
Since he had plenty of experience changing diapers and preparing formulas since Diana was a baby.
He already knew how it felt to become a father.
Yerna’s eyes widened at Dayton’s words, and she soon smiled and said.
“…Thank you, Dayton. That’s comforting.”
“Really? Then I’m glad. And honestly, with someone like Luke, things will turn out well even without a specific plan.”
At least Luke is beyond the phase of worrying about waking up in the middle of the night or needing his diapers changed.
He has already passed the most exhausting period of child-rearing.
“Puh, jokes aside… let’s hurry and get in the car. We should wait inside.”
As Yerna was about to approach the driver’s seat, Dayton stopped her and said.
“Yerna, I’ll drive. You must be tired; rest.”
“No, I’m fine. I’ll do it. You must be more tired than me.”
No, that shouldn’t be the case.
He had already shown Yerna too many foolish sides, so he needed to show off a capable side at least once.
Wasn’t Yerna’s worry stemming from the fact that he wasn’t that reliable?
And there’s information that ‘men who can drive well’ tend to appear attractive to women!
Dayton grabbed Yerna’s hand that was about to open the driver’s door and said.
“Not at all! I’m still full of energy. So I…!”
He paused, as suddenly his movement and words came to a stop.
He finally recognized what action he had just taken.
“Uhm…”
He had grasped Yerna’s hand, trapping her in a position where his other hand supported the car body, effectively enclosing her.
Now realizing, her face was also quite flushed with embarrassment.
“Uh… Dayton? This… Were you really that eager to drive?”
Mumbling while avoiding his gaze, Yerna’s flustered look was quite adorable.
Plus, as she was still wearing the cat-eared headband, her cuteness increased even more.
In the past, he would have had to hold back from this sight, but weren’t they already a couple-to-be?
Dayton decided not to restrain himself.
“Yerna, if you don’t like it, feel free to reject it.”
He began to lower his head slowly.
———
Seeing the scene between Dayton and Yerna, Luke quickly grabbed the children.
“Diana, Pyris. There are some pretty flowers over there; wouldn’t you like to stop and look at them for a moment?”
“Hmm? Where? I want to see, I want to see!”
“Me too! I want to see!”
“Alright, let’s go that way.”
Luke led the children to one side, glancing back slightly.
This should be enough to help Dayton.
As for the couple’s relationship, it seems there is no need for him to worry.
‘Hmm, hmm… young kids certainly have a lot of energy, don’t they…’
It’s too strong a stimulus to show the children.
