Chapter 46

I looked at the puddle I had just vomited.

How many days has it been? Was it like this yesterday? No, this morning.

7 o’clock, 4 o’clock, 2 o’clock.

I don’t know.

I can’t remember well.

Anyway, it was a relief.

As soon as I saw Erica, I was able to suppress the urge to hug her.

I couldn’t help it.

It was exhausting to talk to her cheerfully as usual.

But all that would return would be the sword pointed at me.

With blood on my hands, hugging her while holding a knife and in a dirty uniform would be an extremely rude act.

She would hate that.

I swallowed hard.

“Haah…! Haah…!”

I knew well that my relationship with her was twisted.

I also knew that being able to spend ordinary days with her was a vile act that stimulated her gentle sympathy and compassion.

So I felt at ease.

Despite the continuous terror and hostage situations, she still glared at me while pointing the knife, which made me reassured that our relationship wasn’t completely broken.

She still hated me.

The feeling of being hated by the person I loved was both painful and exhilarating.

Why not just die?

I thought about it.

But.

But I can feel it.

Every time my weak appearance is revealed, she becomes exceedingly kind to me. When I burst into tears because I was in so much pain that I felt like I would tear apart, she looked like an angel as she held me.

That day was the same. Because of the director’s one word about my pain, I almost couldn’t handle the worried look she gave me.

That was strange. It was unnaturally twisted.

When she pushed me away with a cold gaze, Erica would only come closer during moments like that.

What could be the reason?

It was the side of me that didn’t care even when my heart was pierced by a knife. The usual me who would smile easily at her suddenly became quiet.

“Ugh, phew!”

It’s not important.

The plan is progressing.

The essence, the relationship, this hostility.

I just need to stay alive until the end.

Dragging a body that felt like it would faint, I ran away from her.

And now, I knew I would once again create a puddle of red.

So I couldn’t show such a sight any further.

I couldn’t get caught. I couldn’t expose myself. I had to hide it tightly, swallowing it whole.

Her compassion is terrifying. Her sympathy is frightening. The kindness of an ordinary person, of someone I love, is extremely terrifying.

Fearful, disgusting, ugly.

It’s okay.

It’s okay.

As long as I keep my distance. As long as she keeps her distance.

As long as I love her. For now, it’s okay.

As long as I don’t cling to her, it’s okay. Then she won’t come closer either.

Ordinary days will do. That’s all I desired.

I, dwelling in the mental depths, in the lowest floor.

Just, that much.

That much will be enough.

“Haah…! Huhuk…!”

I feel like I won’t be able to hold out much longer.

I’ll probably faint soon.

I miss you.

Erica.

#

“I’ve done the first aid. Please send reinforcements.”

Click.

Erica said that and hung up the phone in an instant. It required that level of determination facing the situation at hand.

As a member of the association, she should have been focusing on treating them first, but for Erica in her current state, that was not visible.

In a way, that was a relief. Among those covered in blood, there was no one who had lost their life.

There was something far more important for her at that moment. The enormous scars etched on the girl’s chest and abdomen, which still lingered in her mind, made her bite her lip unconsciously.

It was for that reason. Erica stepped forward as she felt her strength returning. If she reached a dead end, she would turn back; if she reached a fork in the road, she would head toward the one with denser magic.

In the past, she wouldn’t have been able to do this. No matter how high-quality magic machines were used or how little talented personnel were mobilized, she wouldn’t have been able to track Orly. Now, she had reached the point where she could find her with just her own two feet.

But Erica did not stop. She could feel it instinctively. She would soon be able to catch up with her.

Whether it was the glow from the bite mark etched near her shoulder or the blood-soaked magic that had become familiar, she couldn’t tell.

That didn’t matter. For her, who was only seeking something unknown, none of that mattered.

She walked for a long time. From her location, it seemed like the outskirts of Gyeonggi Province. The surroundings became empty, and the rain began to subside. Her uniform was soaked and damp.

Erica spotted a house. There was a current flowing.

Her heart began to race.

She moved her feet. Climbed the stairs. Arrived at the door.

It was a massive door. It felt like iron.

Without realizing it, Erica placed her hand on the doorknob. The rounded mark on her shoulder glimmered. Magic flowed through her arm. The door began to glow.

A momentary noise enveloped her body. The creaking door slowly began to open.

She stepped inside.

It’s okay. It will be okay.

With hesitant steps, she closed the door behind her. It was dark. The first thing she felt was an indescribable scent. It was so stimulating it nearly caused her to frown.

What appeared before her was a long hallway.

Is this an ordinary home?

As she quietly took off her shoes and stepped lightly, she realized the house was quiet enough for her heart to echo.

Walking step by step, relying on the faint light of a candle she could occasionally see.

When she entered the large living room and came to a halt.

She faced it.

In a blood-red puddle, her eyes were slowly closing, tangled, twisted, broken.

A fallen girl.

After that, she couldn’t remember anything.

When she came to, she was urgently holding the girl in her arms, trying to restore her energy. She was shouting something, but she didn’t even know what it was.

Erica breathed heavily. With hyperventilation, her fluids were expelled. Coughing repeatedly, she focused back on Orly.

She placed her hand on the ruptured area to stop the bleeding, holding her icy body tightly to transfer warmth.

When she raised every last bit of magic she had, it felt like she herself was about to collapse.

Erica wiped her face with one hand with difficulty. The sticky hair clung to her cheeks, damp and messy.

It was hard. She was exhausted.

Looking down, she saw the girl’s thin, trembling eyelashes and tangled hair, her pale skin, and the numerous gashes on her abdomen and chest still bleeding profusely.

Neither her hands nor her magic could stop it.

What should I do? There was no sign of improvement. Was it beyond what I could handle?

I felt a sense of powerlessness. Weakness and fatigue surged through my entire body.

Again, I am helpless in such a situation.

“Ugh, phew…”

The girl in my arms coughed up blood. Her dimming eyes started to reflect a bluish wave.

“O, Orly…!”

“W-what…?”

The girl’s eyes searched aimlessly before turning toward her. A moment of silence passed. Darkness swirled around them.

“E-Eri… why… are you here…?”

“Are you okay?! Can you, can you breathe?!”

Her voice was extremely broken.

It seemed like she had never been this flustered before. But the girl’s gaze seemed even more so.

“Why, why here… where the hell… ugh…”

“D-don’t talk. I’ll keep applying pressure.”

“L-LEAVE me…!”

What?

“It’s unnecessary… leave…”

While she was still spewing blood from her mouth, her tone was slow, helpless.

What’s unnecessary? It hurts. If it stays like this, she will die.

Helplessly, unable to do anything but remain like this.

“D-don’t! Shut up. Focus on your breathing.”

“Why… why…”

I couldn’t let go. I didn’t know what I wanted, nor could I grasp the situation I was facing.

It couldn’t be like this. I didn’t want it anymore. To weakly watch something break was as horrifying as a nightmare.

Erica held her tighter.

“Really… I’m going crazy…”

“I won’t let go. If you can talk, tell me what I should do…”

So it was a request. Anything would be fine, I just wanted to see a path to escape this situation. That was my small wish and desire.

With trembling hands, Erica wrapped her arms around Orly’s abdomen. Blood continued to pour out like a flood, but she didn’t stop.

While biting her lip in concentration, Orly shut her eyes tightly and intertwined her fingers with Erica’s.

The blood gradually began to subside. The crimson tide that had flowed out began to diminish.

“T-thank goodness…”

As she let those words slip without even realizing it, Orly lost consciousness and collapsed into her arms.

Time passed.

Her condition seemed to be improving. Her color was returning, and the ruptured skin seemed to be healing. Blood no longer seemed to flow, and her mind and body appeared to be regaining strength.

Erica laid Orly on the sofa where she had spread out a blanket and retrieved a small lamp from the corner. Placing it on the table brightened the surroundings a bit more.

She looked around the living room.

It was a mess. The bloodstains scattered across the floor stood out first. Torn clothes and books, along with numerous machines, were strewn about.

The spacious living room was even messier because of its size. She would need to do a major cleanup later.

She glanced around a little more. She saw an electronic clock. It was past 3 a.m.

Suddenly, she felt her body becoming increasingly fatigued.

Drip, drip.

Outside, it seemed to be raining. She could hear droplets hitting something nearby, echoing with a cold metallic sound as they bounced off.

First, I should wash up a bit.

Of course, since it was someone else’s house, she didn’t plan on doing anything extravagant. Maybe just wash my face.

And my hair a little…

Just as those thoughts crossed her mind and she tried to get up.

“E-eri…”

A desperate voice called out to her. Erica quickly turned and approached her.

“W-where are you…?”

“I’m here. Does anything hurt? Do you need anything?”

“Hold me… hold me, quickly…”

It felt like childlike whining, but her voice dripped with emotion. She had just rejected Erica’s touch, and now she was ordering her to come.

But she felt relieved. This felt more like the Orly she knew.

Fortunately, the sofa was somewhat large. Erica sat down slightly and opened her arms. She met Orly’s faint gaze.

Realizing she was weak, Erica gently lifted her to a sitting position. Soon, wheezing breaths could be heard.

“Haah… huck…”

“Are you in pain? Where…?”

“I’m fine… it’s nothing…”

Blood spurted out. Waves of it flowed. Her body grew hot and began to convulse.

“O, Orly…!”

“Stay like this… just a little, a little longer…”

The pressure on her body intensified. Erica bit her lip, feeling the surging body heat.

“Just a little, huff… just a bit more…”

Quietly, Erica began to pat her back. Then she gently stroked her hair.

Along with her rough breathing, the sound of her heart beating rapidly echoed in the air. Was this her heartbeat or Erica’s?

“Haah… huck! Haah…”

When her body was once again pressed against Orly’s hand, Erica patiently supported her as she convulsed.

It hurt. It hurt so much she felt like she would tear apart. Her chest, her heart, her body.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“Haah…! Huck…”

Erica bit her lip hard. Soon, she felt a shallow touch on her shoulder.

Watching her gasp for air, burying her face in her uniform, Erica squeezed her eyes shut.

Ah.

What on earth am I doing this for?

Why did I point a knife at you?