Episode 70: To Die or Not to Die
“This time, you absolutely have to wake me up! Even if I pass out, you must wake me no matter what! Do you understand?”
“Ah, got it. Just calm down already.”
Only after promising the Demon King’s earnest plea did I finally manage to extricate myself.
“……”
“……”
“……”
The atmosphere among our party was unbearable, to say the least.
Ruci was already sick of the endless repetition of Infinite Tsukuyomi, which had occurred 33 times. I, on the other hand, was still processing the fact that I had resurrected here 33 times. And Seop Baek was so out of the loop that he couldn’t even hazard a guess, let alone interject.
As a result, our party was shrouded in an oppressive silence.
‘… This doesn’t feel real.’
In the entire Halsenberk, I had died and resurrected 23 times.
And now, I had died 10 more times than that? And all at the same checkpoint, no less, exactly 33 times?
To my past selves: What exactly are you enduring? Just when I thought things were finally getting manageable, why has this trial come upon me once again?
‘… Hmm? Wait a moment.’
While wallowing in self-pity, I sensed something strange.
I turned my head slightly toward Ruci, who was walking a little distance away with determined strides, and then opened my mouth.
“Hey, something feels off.”
“What’s off? The only thing off is you, dying like a fool over and over again.”
Is this short-fuse of hers going to lead to another rant?
For a fleeting moment, I considered grabbing her cheeks and pulling, but helping her would be crucial for the survival of my 34th life.
So, I swallowed my irritation and stated my concerns.
“During the time I died 32 times and revived on the 33rd, what exactly were you doing?”
“What was I doing?! Sleeping, of course! That’s why I have no idea why you kept collapsing like that!”
“During all 32 instances?”
“Yes! All 32 times! Got a problem with that?”
“That’s exactly what’s suspicious.”
“… What do you mean?”
It was only then that the Demon King turned his head toward me.
His eyes were full of confusion. Could it be that he hadn’t noticed despite going through this 32 times?
Once again, I realized how much the intelligence of this white Demon King had deteriorated.
“Wouldn’t you naturally want to understand why I keep dying like an idiot?”
“Of course! I tried paying full attention, but these damn summons just kept attacking…!”
“You mean, every single time I died, you were consistently sound asleep for all 32 instances?”
“Yes! Sound asleep for all 32 instances…!”
Ruci’s voice began to trail off slowly.
Instead, her crimson pupils gradually expanded.
“If it happens once or twice, it might be a coincidence, but 32 times? That’s absolutely impossible.”
“Aaah…!”
It wasn’t until she said that much that Ruci realized what I was hinting at.
I nodded to confirm her suspicion.
“You were deliberately put to sleep by someone. More precisely, someone who wished for either your death or mine.”
*
I immediately rented a room at the inn. Unlike before, this time, we spent some money to get separate rooms for all three of us.
While one room would have sufficed, there was a reason I insisted on this arrangement.
“Alright, let’s go over the details.”
I was currently inside Ruci’s room, secretly discussing the situation with her while keeping Seop Baek in the dark.
She still looked shocked at the revelation that she had been manipulated, but I pressed on regardless.
“Let’s start with the timing of my death—it will happen tonight. If I recall correctly, you usually fall asleep around 12, so it’s safe to assume it will be sometime early in the morning. Right so far?”
“… Y, yeah.”
“Good.”
Ruci had recounted every detail of today’s 33 repetitions to me.
At least her memory was reliable; there was no lie in her recounting all 33 of my past lifetimes vividly as if she had experienced them herself.
However, there was a snag.
Despite repeating the same day 33 times, I couldn’t discern any consistency in my actions.
“At times, I urgently headed toward the capital, sometimes I searched for residual memories, and there was even a case where I died peacefully staying at the inn.”
“That’s right. It’s not just toward the capital. You went in every possible direction there is.”
“What nonsense is this? Your paths kept changing every time? Why?”
“How should I know? Stop keeping your mouth shut and explain it yourself. Those were your actions, not mine!”
I let out a small sigh.
‘If I’m being so cooperative, why are you being so uncooperative? Are you a suicide café member or something?’
Before she could respond, I pulled out the Box of the Dead and began the process of renewal.
“No matter what happens, report everything to Ruci first and foremost. Even minor details—absolutely must be done.”
As I jammed these instructions into her like some overbearing know-it-all, I fell deep into thought.
According to Ruci, my past selves never managed to recover the residual memories. In fact, it seemed that they weren’t even trying to.
Which means the previous lives likely failed to renew the Box of the Dead.
‘Something so sudden must have happened that I couldn’t even update the Box of the Dead.’
The primary reason for my lack of consistency lies in this.
I wasn’t aware of my impending death. Even if Ruci mentioned it later, I might have failed to grasp its severity.
Regardless of it being a past life, the difference between hearing about my own crisis firsthand versus from someone else makes a world of difference.
‘… Once the connection was lost, I was left helpless and it just spiraled out of control repeatedly.’
The residual memories being pushed further away was partly due to the broken link.
It seems my previous life judged that escaping Kern was the top priority. The thought process behind this decision is fairly clear since it’s me who made that reasoning.
Sudden death in a short span of time.
Residual memories found far away.
From these two factors, my past selves deduced the following.
‘My past life tried to escape. Some catastrophic event that cannot be resisted is going to happen in the vicinity of Kern.’
I might not know exactly what that event is, but regardless, I must escape Kern as quickly as possible. That’s the conclusion they reached.
Whether or not I understand the exact cause of death by discovering the residual memories, eventually, I would still try to escape this place. At the moment, this is the best conclusion I can arrive at.
‘That’s why I attempted to escape in various directions.’
Once Ruci informed me of the time constraint, I likely panicked and abandoned the recovery of residual memories.
Which means the only thing my past self knew is the location of their death.
I probably headed in the opposite direction of that location, trying to put as much distance as possible between me and it. Hence, the chaotic movements in all directions.
‘This won’t do.’
I need a thorough plan—a well-planned strategy to survive.
The reason I died and revived 33 times? It boils down to a lack of information.
I don’t know how or why I die. Therefore, without such information, I lack proper countermeasures. Because of that, my makeshift plan failed, and I ended up meeting an absurd death repeatedly.
‘If makeshift plans won’t help me escape an unavoidable death, then the only remaining option is a thorough plan. And for that, I need more information.’
To gather information, I need to stabilize the location of the residual memories.
And to stabilize the location of the residual memories, I need…
“Hey, Ruci.”
“What is it now? You sound serious all of a sudden.”
“Know this: I’m about to die a few more times.”
Ruci, who was drinking fruit juice delivered via room service, suddenly found her juice dribble back into her cup as if rewound.
“That’s absurd.”
“No matter how many times I have to relive today, I’m determined to get to the bottom of it—down to the root cause of my death. Remember that.”
“… W, wait a minute….”
“Tell my future self to rent a room here in this inn right away. If he refuses, make him do it by force. And ensure he reads from the Box of the Dead first thing. And also…”
“Wait a sec! Just hold on a moment, Hero!”
Of course, her protests didn’t faze me.
“Are you trying to torment me by making me live this day over and over again!” Ruci yelled. I responded by flashing her a bright smile.
“Don’t focus on the trees, look at the forest.”
Here I was, throwing out a line seemingly plucked from somewhere with a sugary smile. I take pride in the fact that my disgust level had reached its peak.
As expected, Ruci sunk into the bed, utterly sickened by my shameless demeanor.
Clunk. Leaving her to her despair, I closed the door and swiftly returned to my room.
“Then….”
The smile was wiped clean, and the cold sweat I had been suppressing poured down like a flood.
Maintaining an aura of strength isn’t easy. I chuckled at my recent charade of pretending death was “no big deal.”
‘Let’s get moving.’
I don’t want to die any more times than necessary. I cannot afford to waste a single second.
I immediately began brainstorming while pacing the streets of Kern.
Were my past lives moving alone, or with everyone?
Considering the tasks I’m planning to undertake from now on, it’s clear that going solo would be more efficient.
‘I need to think.’
No matter what attempts or choices I made, all 32 of my past attempts failed.
That means this current life of mine must come up with ideas that go beyond the capabilities of the previous me.
Think beyond the one-dimensional approach. Think beyond the me that surpassed that, and even further beyond.
‘Alright, I’ve decided.’
Thus, after careful deliberation, the first course of action was determined.
With swift determination, I melted into the shadowy alleys of Kern.
