Chapter 30

“…I think I said something unnecessary.”

Suppressing the nausea rising from within, I held my breath as much as possible. Holding my breath didn’t make the smell of hope disappear, but if I didn’t do this, I felt like I’d vomit despair all over the place.

Does that guy have some kind of talent for pissing off monsters?

The disgust surged uncontrollably, and my head reflexively turned away.

“Seriously, despairing just because I said we’re not friends? Tsk.”

What does “friend” even mean to Emerald?

Honestly, isn’t the bar for friendship set too low?

At first, Emerald acted like she wanted to kill me, giving me suspicious looks, but after a little bit of nursing, she started calling me a friend or whatever.

Still, a despairing Emerald was quite a delicacy.

Though saying that thinking about it made me feel good was a mistake.

“Despairing over being told we’re not friends, but then feeling hopeful when I say I’ll think about being friends? What kind of kid is this?”

Well, she is a Magical Girl, so she’s technically a kid.

Ah, right. She’s a kid. At that age, it’s normal to cry and laugh over the word “friend.”

Plus, Magical Girls are all about “love, friendship, peace~” and all that.

“I’ll… try my best.”

“…I don’t think you need to try that hard.”

If Emerald’s efforts are anything to go by, they’re probably filled with dreams and hope.

Honestly, it wasn’t that hard for Emerald to become friends with me.

If she wanted to get close to me, all she had to do was periodically spray despair in front of me.

“In that sense, Tamako is a friend, a real friend.”

I don’t know if Tamako thinks of me as a friend, but to me, Tamako is a truly precious friend.

I nurse Tamako, and Tamako gives me despair—it’s a symbiotic relationship, you could say.

I even saved her from that despicable Doctor’s laboratory, didn’t I?

“Ah, and there’s one more thing I want to say.”

“…What is it?”

I narrowed my eyes as Emerald cautiously brought it up.

What else does she want to say?

Given what she’s said so far, it didn’t seem like it would be anything good.

“Um, could you maybe leave the house for a day tomorrow?”

“…Huh?”

Suddenly? Why? Did I do something wrong? What’s going on?

Is she sulking because I said we’re not friends?

Is this some kind of “Feel how comfortable my house is, you monster!” kind of thing?

“Um, then Tamako can come too…”

“Tamako is a patient.”

“That’s not fair…”

My food storage!

Even for a monster, this is too much!

One of the three basic human desires is appetite, and you’re taking away my food?

This is just too cruel.

It’s literally tyranny and terrible oppression.

“Instead, I’ll book you a hotel room. I can’t explain it well, but I really need you to leave the house for a day tomorrow.”

“…Fine, whatever.”

It’s not like it’s my house anyway, so I guess I have no choice.

I’m a monster who gives up faster than you’d think.

“Don’t cry while I’m gone.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tough it out.”

Yeah, that’s better.

Rather than wasting despair by crying somewhere I’m not, it’s better to hold it in and then let it all out in front of me.

‘Thinking positively, a day off doesn’t seem so bad…’

Since it’s come to this, I might as well revisit that underground laboratory I couldn’t fully explore before.

The mix of monsters and humans gave off a disgusting valley vibe, like the insect humans I saw in my past life, but experiencing that feeling once in a while might help relieve stress.

‘If I get the chance, I should look for that kid’s mom too.’

Thinking of the keycard hidden in my pocket, I subtly raised the corner of my mouth.

If I meet her, I hope she despairs a lot.

***

“This is disinfectant, this is fever reducer, this is a bandage—”

“What, are you sending a kid on an overseas trip?”

Tsk tsk, I clicked my tongue at Emerald, who was packing a ton of stuff for just a day trip.

I didn’t even need things like medicine in the first place.

Wounds heal if I just lick them, so why bother?

Fragile humans might need that stuff, but not me.

“I’m off.”

“Take care, Akari. Be careful.”

“Worry about yourself instead of me.”

You didn’t even sleep properly last night, and the dark circles under your eyes are down to your cheeks.

If someone saw you, they’d think you were a panda, tsk tsk.

“Sigh…”

After a brief farewell with Emerald, I let out a sigh as soon as I stepped outside.

My Tamako… my despair…

Just thinking about it made me feel wronged.

I mean, Tamako is mine—I saved her, so isn’t it okay to take her out a bit?

If she’s been discharged, it means she’s well enough to walk around outside.

‘Complaining pointlessly is meaningless…’

Think positively, think positively.

Rather than thinking I was kicked out after losing my despair fountain, it’s better to think I’ve seized freedom from the Magical Girl and am out on the streets to suck up humans’ despair.

Even for a monster that feeds on despair, positive thinking is always necessary.

Especially in moments like this.

‘First, I’m a bit hungry, so maybe I’ll grab a snack.’

The best way to fill my stomach is with a Magical Girl’s despair, but ordinary humans’ despair can work as a snack too.

It doesn’t really fill me up, but it makes my body feel like it’s eaten something, tricking my stomach.

‘Should I go to the hospital or the national cemetery…’

If you’re looking for a despair hotspot, those two are definitely at the top of the list.

Hospital? National cemetery?

Both are attractive options, but as I pondered, that creepy squinty-eyed doctor came to mind, and I quickly made up my mind.

Let’s head to the national cemetery first.

“So, the road is…”

Ah, right, Emerald gave me a phone too.

It’s just a day trip, but she prepared it in no time, saying I could keep using it.

I didn’t expect it to be delivered and activated in less than half a day.

‘Turn right here—’

Thud—

“Ah…”

“Ugh…?!”

Just as I was looking at the map on my phone to head to the national cemetery, I bumped into someone while turning a corner.

I wasn’t going to be pushed back by an ordinary human, so I was just a bit startled, but the other person was sent flying back in a rather pathetic way.

Should I apologize? It’s the human’s fault for running into me.

“You…”

“What? Are you stalking me? Or are you keeping an eye on me?”

I wasn’t planning to apologize in the first place, but seeing their face made me even less inclined to do so.

How am I supposed to apologize to that squinty-eyed face?

If monsters are disgusting, this human was even more disgusting than any monster.

If the underground lab’s abominations were a mix of humans and monsters, this human was just plain disgusting.

‘No wonder the original world was destroyed.’

Even without the Apocalypse, humans like this would have created something apocalyptic, right?

Feeling like I had bug guts on me, I brushed off my clothes.

Ugh, I shouldn’t have even talked to them.

Wasting time on this human was a shame, so I quickly moved on.

Or at least, I tried to.

“Are you hungry?”

“…”

“I might be able to solve your hunger. How about it?”

It was a tempting offer.

I was already hungry, and if I followed this guy, I might get to feast on despair.

Like, say, a fresh Magical Girl’s despair.

‘But still…’

Who’d believe that, especially from someone like this?

Plus, this human gave off a similar vibe to the Doctor.

If you asked how they were similar, well, they both had that mad scientist feel.

A monster who uses Magical Girls as test subjects and a human who uses monsters as test subjects.

They’re similar, right?

Though the Doctor was way more impressive.

“No, thanks.”

“…Huh?”

“If you have nothing else to say, I’m leaving.”

Ignoring the human’s blank stare, I quickly walked away.

They wouldn’t follow me, right?

Just in case, I turned into a nearby alley.

No particular reason, but if they followed, I might just twist their neck a bit.

‘That kind of human wouldn’t approach with pure intentions.’

I was trying to stay positive, but running into that human ruined my mood.

How could I run into them right after leaving Emerald’s house?

It’s obvious they’re keeping tabs on me.

Don’t they have anything better to do than spy on a harmless monster like me?

“Disgusting…”

I now have a second, albeit small, goal.

I vowed to one day feast on that squinty-eyed doctor’s despair.

I don’t know when that’ll be, but it probably won’t take too long.

Humans who mess with a sleeping monster’s despair don’t tend to live long.