Chapter 29

‘What is this, a trap?’

For a moment, I almost reflexively said, ‘I want to receive your despair.’

Clearly, that guy must have put some strange ideas in my head.

Trying to signal Emerald without her noticing, May, who caught my gaze, quickly hid behind Emerald.

Look, if she were confident, would she act like that?

“It’s okay. I don’t think Midori would give me what I want.”

No, even if she could, she definitely wouldn’t give it willingly.

In the first place, I couldn’t even bring myself to ask.

“So, could you not make that face?”

Why does your expression look so gloomy?

Was there a setting where Emerald had bipolar disorder?

Maybe after going through the Apocalypse, her mental state had deteriorated significantly.

“…I understand. Akari must have her own reasons too.”

“Don’t try to understand. It’ll hurt.”

Mainly me.

Look, if Emerald finds out I’m a monster, how would she react?

Just imagining it is terrifying.

If that happens, this life I have now would be in jeopardy.

‘And after that, I’d be targeted by magical girls worldwide, chased for the rest of my life—’

Ugh, gives me the creeps.

Already abandoned by the Doctor, if I lose Emerald as my lifeline, my monster life would surely fall apart.

I’m already on Emerald’s ship.

Though it’s a bit unsettling knowing that getting off would lead to disaster.

“Then, if you ever want anything from me, just say it!”

“…Well, if it comes up.”

You have to shake off persistent humans like this.

By the way, this marks the end of my happy life.

For a while, it seems I’ll have to endure a tearful, despair-filled forced diet.

…Seriously, am I the only monster in the world who can’t eat despair?

Ding dong~

“Looks like we have a visitor.”

“A visitor?”

Emerald tilts her head at the sudden doorbell.

‘There shouldn’t be anyone coming,’ her expression says, trying to guess who’s at the door.

“Go check. You’re not thinking of making me greet the guest, are you?”

“Yeah, well…”

Watching Emerald get up with a reluctant expression, I quickly moved towards Tamako as soon as she left the room.

Hmm… Yes, this is it. This despair! The sweet scent of despair, which I couldn’t feel while in the same room as a magical girl, was very pleasing.

Ah, come to think of it, was Tamako also a magical girl?

‘Ah, whatever. Let’s enjoy the moment.’

Burying my face in Tamako’s sleeping embrace, I took a deep breath.

This is it, this… If this isn’t heaven, then what is…

***

Click~

“Who is it~?”

“I have something to say. Can I come in for a moment?”

Opening the door to the sudden doorbell, I saw a color so familiar it felt friendly.

Red hair. And red eyes.

Even a black hoodie to hide the striking colors.

“…Ruby?”

“Hi, Emerald.”

Seeing my face, Ruby chuckled, making me blink in confusion.

This can’t be. How?

Thinking it might be a dream, I pinched my cheek and felt a sharp pain.

…Well, it’s not a dream.

“Pfft, Emerald is still Emerald even after coming back. I’m relieved, truly.”

“Coming back…?”

No, you know.

Recalling the not-so-distant past, I slowly caught my breath.

‘But Ruby definitely didn’t have memories of the previous world…’

After losing the final battle against the Apocalypse, I—we used a time-reversing magic to return to the past.

To be precise, it was planned to return.

Gathering everyone’s power, we aimed to find and eliminate the Doctor or the Apocalypse before it appeared.

We returned for that goal, but I was the only one who retained memories from the previous world.

‘Hello, by any chance—’

‘Who are you? I don’t remember a woman like you who seems to emit phytoncides.’

Ruby, Sapphire, none of them remembered.

Diamond’s whereabouts were unknown.

So, in the end, I searched for traces of the Doctor alone.

Holding onto a past that no one remembered—sometimes wondering if it was just a terrible nightmare.

“Sorry, for pretending not to know then. But I really didn’t remember. I don’t know why I forgot.”

“Ah, uh…”

“Pfft, you’re still as tearful as ever.”

Laughing, Ruby’s face was filled with joy.

How much I missed that face…

Relieved that there was someone like me, tears flowed on their own.

I’m not alone anymore.

“Let’s go inside and talk. This isn’t a conversation for outside.”

“Yes, let’s go in—”

Snap out of it.

Just as I was about to let Ruby inside, a small whisper came to mind.

Did you forget who’s inside?

That one question made me gulp.

‘No… If the two meet, it’ll be irreversible…’

Unlike indecisive me, Ruby would surely rush at Akari.

In the worst case, Ruby might even kill Akari.

‘That can’t happen. That absolutely can’t happen…!’

To me, Akari was no longer the Apocalypse.

If I let Ruby in and something happens to Akari, I’d never escape the guilt.

And, I didn’t want to see Ruby kill someone either.

“Sorry, Ruby. It’s better if you go back today.”

“Hey, why are you like this? Emerald and I have no secrets between us, right?”

“That’s true but… Today, really, it’s not possible. So, just this once, please understand, Ruby.”

“…”

Ruby’s expression hardened at my firm refusal.

She seemed unable to understand why I was refusing so strongly.

But I couldn’t tell her.

I couldn’t make an excuse either.

“Alright, then I’ll come back tomorrow. Emerald must have her own reasons.”

“…Thank you for understanding, Ruby.”

“Between us, it’s nothing.”

See you.

Waving her hand, Ruby turned around, and I reflexively felt relieved.

…What are you relieved about, idiot.

The thought of deceiving a friend made my chest ache.

“Phew…”

[That person, it’s that person. The one Emerald went to see before.]

Closing the door and leaning against it, I sighed, and May fluttered over to speak.

That’s right. Back then, she didn’t recognize me.

“Seems like she didn’t recognize me back then.”

[Is that person also a magical girl?]

“Yes, she is.”

Gently stroking May’s hair, who was looking at me worriedly.

Don’t worry too much, May.

Ignoring the lingering anxiety pricking at my chest, I slowly moved.

“Akari.”

“What is it now?”

Was she nursing Tamako?

Sitting by the bedside, Akari looked at me with a sulky tone.

Her expression clearly showed she was in a bad mood.

Wondering what made Akari angry again, her cat-like demeanor made me laugh.

“Why are you laughing? Did something good happen?”

“I’m happy to see you, Akari.”

“Ugh…”

Her body trembling and shoulders shrinking, I burst out laughing again.

Who could look at that and think Akari is the Apocalypse?

If Akari had a self-centered cat-like vibe, the Apocalypse was an indescribable monster.

It felt like humans looking at outer gods from Cthulhu myths might have a similar feeling.

“So, who was it?”

“Just an acquaintance.”

“An acquaintance?”

Akari looked at me suspiciously at the word ‘acquaintance.’

Did she think I didn’t have any close acquaintances?

“An old friend I used to know heard I was here and came to visit.”

“An old friend…”

Seeing Akari lost in thought at the word ‘friend,’ I quietly approached.

Could she be sensitive to the word ‘friend’?

“Even if I have friends, you’re my closest friend now, Akari.”

“Ugh…”

“Huh?”

“…Don’t get the wrong idea. Who’s friends with whom?”

Akari, pretending to vomit, started spouting cold words with icy eyes.

Ah, no, I was just…

I had a lot to say, but my lips wouldn’t move.

‘Of course, that’s how it would be…’

I must have been out of it for a moment.

Maybe I’ve been out of it all along and just now came to my senses.

My mind was in chaos from Ruby’s visit, and I must have chosen the wrong option.

…I hate this, really.

[Emerald…]

I held back tears at my own pitifulness.

You messed up, so why are you about to cry?

Biting my lip to hold back tears, Akari let out a deep sigh.

Then, looking at me, she tossed out a remark.

“If you treat me well, I’ll think about it. That, being friends.”

“…Really?”

Carefully asking, Akari turned her head with a ‘hmph.’

Seeing a red flush on her pale skin, she must have been embarrassed.