Chapter 288

Spring had arrived, and the trees, now adorned with fresh green leaves, looked more pleasant than ever.

Lieutenant Colonel Anton Meijhem stood for a moment, staring up at the tree before leaning back against the rocking chair shaded by its branches.

The cool shade certainly calmed his heart. The sunlight of a spring day, the distant chirping of birds, and the faint floral scent wafting from the nearby flower bed combined to create an optimal place to slowly gather his thoughts.

Meijhem’s eyes instinctively began to close.

His beloved wife, Melissa, was likely washing the dishes left over from lunch in the kitchen by now, while their cherished daughter attended class at the academy.

Their proud and strong son, who graduated from the academy this year, would be working at the small flower shop Meijhem had established with his retirement pay. The lieutenant colonel cast a sidelong glance at the tiny dandelion that had sprouted next to the tree.

At first, he hadn’t wanted to open a flower shop. Instead, he had dreamed of running a large restaurant.

Creating delicious dishes and bringing joy to people, hearing that spending money on food wasn’t a waste—this had been his long-standing dream.

After his military discharge, he had planned to use his retirement pay and the pension he earned from being a veteran officer to open the restaurant.

However, cooking with one arm was a struggle. Just after leaving the army, he couldn’t even make a decent cup of coffee, and now he found it amusing to think of running a restaurant.

With only his left arm left, which he was not accustomed to using, it wasn’t uncommon for phantom pains to occasionally rear their heads. When that happened, he would sweat coldly and suffer, making it impossible for him to cook.

His wife, Melissa, had subtly suggested this alternative of a flower shop to him. It was understandable since he had first met Melissa while she was working at a flower shop.

Meijhem held a beer bottle resting on a small table to his mouth and slowly tilted it back. The cold, fizzy sensation was quite satisfying.

It was a perfect example of a leisurely lunch. Meijhem wished to enjoy this tranquility a little longer.

– I hear there have been complaints for quite some time…. Is that true?

However, there was no peace of mind in the lieutenant colonel’s head. His slightly wrinkled brow furrowed immediately.

Though he had often heard that he lacked leisure, he hadn’t heard it much recently.

He had rashly judged that if things continued like this, he could escape the scars of war entirely. It actually seemed likely to become so.

That is, until his beloved wife suffered a miscarriage of their third child.

Meijhem trembled. Every night he had sleepless nights from hearing the sound of a baby crying, yet strangely enough, he did not feel tired during the day.

He couldn’t sleep soundly at night, and when he actually tried to take a nap to relieve his exhaustion, his eyes remained wide open, making the situation maddening for the lieutenant colonel.

He stared blankly above him, clearing his mind. The clutter of thoughts filtered through and vanished in an instant.

– I’ve reviewed your service record. Quite a remarkable history you have there.

However, there were things too significant to disappear through the filter.

– The trap operation to encircle and counter the autumn offensive…. You were the commander on the front lines? Thanks to that, you got promoted from lieutenant colonel to colonel.

The annoying memories emerged from beneath the surface. Unable to bear the fatigue, Meijhem quietly closed his eyes, only to end up squeezing them tight.

– Your efforts are acknowledged. Colonel Anton Meijhem, you fought admirably for the Empire. However…. disobedience to orders from a superior is a serious crime. Under military law, the maximum sentence is execution by firing squad.

– But they were soldiers of the Empire too! They were people who would die if not treated immediately!

– It seems you need to cool off a bit. Calm down.

That day’s cold memories tightened around Lieutenant Colonel Meijhem’s head.

The painful memories, long hidden away, occasionally appeared before him, tormenting him.

– You disobeyed the orders of the higher command and refused to advance to rescue the wounded trapped in a no-man’s land. Moreover, you implicitly refused the order to advance into the city by killing prisoners…. This is a clear case of disobedience.

– They survived! Because of that, so many wounded, and even those devilish prisoners, are alive to pay for their sins! The enemy’s expected artillery positions were all wrong, and with the supply line stretched, how could I forcibly lead a unit that was at its limit to the end of the offensive! What’s with the order to kill all the prisoners!!

– But if you had followed the operations plan of the defense command, you could have acted more effectively in the city….

– Damn it! This disciplinary committee is a total farce! What do you know sitting there, yapping away! While my men died, while those bastards massacred civilians in the city, where were you, what were you doing—!!

His teeth clenched tightly. A cracking sound echoed in his ears.

– You, moreover, have lost an arm.

– Neglecting the wounded and shooting down prisoners is indeed a violation of international law! Yet, what does some higher command care to break international law! The situation wasn’t even strategically urgent! Is it even reasonable to issue an advance order to a unit that must focus on recovery, just because of a desire for military merit? Major General Commonwell deserves execution!

– I will request your honorable discharge. Please waive the mandatory investigation.

– Don’t be ridiculous! If you had at least slowly tightened the noose and forced a surrender, those bastards wouldn’t have done such things in the city! It’s because you advanced rapidly while forcing matters that the enemy felt anxious and panicked! Am I wrong!?

Privileged old men acting as if they were above it all. Sitting in the back room, they merely watched the flow of the war.

– Just go to the military hospital for a simple check-up. This disciplinary matter will be swept under the rug, and we will part ways amicably.

– Shut your mouth! You’re just as corrupt, aren’t you?! Bribery in wartime means you deserve execution too! Execution!!

– Ahem…. Please leave now. What are the military police doing? Take him outside at once!

– Let go of me! Let go! Aide! Bring me my pistol right now! You’re all subject to summary execution at my hands! You filthy vermin!

A touch of arrogance and an overflowing self-defense mechanism.

Yes. If I had acted according to the orders of the division command, perhaps I could have encircled the city and forced a surrender before they withdrew.

If we had forced their surrender quickly, perhaps those countless lives wouldn’t have had to be lost.

They were civilians. They were lives that should never die at the hands of soldiers, let alone the enemy.

The enemy, who had been pushed to extreme circumstances too rapidly, might have thought of making a move as soon as they spotted a slight gap, and yet, he couldn’t comprehend how things went wrong.

No, he might have known deep down.

By following command orders and abandoning the wounded while executing or leaving behind all the prisoners, they quickly advanced toward the city. Had they done so, such a calamity might have been averted. Surely, if the problem lay in advancing too rapidly, then they could have advanced faster to spot the signs beforehand. Meijhem was certain of that.

– Waaah—! Huwaah—!

The sound of a baby’s cry echoed like a ringing in his ears. Pain shot through his head as if it were about to split.

– Uwaaah—! Uwaaah—!

A child, barely able to speak, just beginning to take their first steps, a child who had grown up into a boy or a girl before his eyes.

The charred and unrecognizable corpse of that child roared painfully.

Thick, purulent, and red blood oozed down the split and melting skin. The delicate skin of the boy had already begun to rot.

It was not Lieutenant Colonel Meijhem who had killed them. Yet, he felt a profound guilt over the horrific fates of those civilians.

Why hadn’t he made a clearer decision? Did the prisoners truly matter? At the start of the conflict, had they not advanced without regard for international law?

Was there anything preventing us from doing the same?

The wounded were already people who could not participate in battle. It was a given that advancing would slow down while caring for them, and if they had left behind a few medics in an already conquered area, they could surely have survived on their own.

Yet, Meijhem could not bring himself to do that.

He selfishly wanted to remain human. Perhaps because he wanted to distance himself from the direct responsibility for the deaths of civilians, believing that their deaths were due to the actions of others.

In staying human, the price was paid by innocent civilians.

Was that truly something he could bear?

Was it unavoidable that more civilians had to die to save the comrades he had faced every day?

Was there really no other way?

Lieutenant Colonel Meijhem opened his eyes. The sound of the neighbor’s children laughing and playing in the yard reached his ears. It was undoubtedly a golden tower, built on countless corpses of youths stacked high with gunpowder and blood.

The beer bottle in Meijhem’s hand had grown lukewarm.

As he idly inspected the label on the beer bottle, he swiftly tilted the bottle back. The warm, somewhat flat-tasting beer ran down his throat.

– Hwaaaah—! Huwaah—!

The lukewarm beer was certainly bland. In the midst of the escalating war, even such was rare.

Many of his subordinates had survived. Far more had died.

– Uwaahh—!

Civilians had perished. The soldier who had a duty to protect them with his life remained alive.

Lieutenant Colonel Meijhem was a soldier.

– Uwaaah—! Uwaah—!

And before being a soldier, he was a husband to his beloved wife and a father to his children.

His wife, having finished washing the dishes in the kitchen, came out holding a laundry basket. Watching her, Meijhem rose from the rocking chair that had been swaying back and forth.

She was a strong woman. Despite being the one who had felt the pain of a miscarriage most profoundly, she did not seem to want to show any signs of struggle.

Meijhem knew. Even if she looked fine on the surface, she could be slowly rotting inside.

If that were to happen, there would truly be nothing he could do.

“Melissa. I told you to leave this to me.”

“It’s okay. Just rest a bit. You went out early this morning, after all.”

He had definitely left the house early that morning. He had gone to the defense office regarding pension issues.

But if one were to ask if that had tired him out, not particularly.

“Anton. Don’t worry, just sit there. I’ll make some simple snacks to go with it.”

Melissa was being considerate. It wouldn’t look good for her husband, who had only one arm, to struggle unnecessarily.

Meijhem stared absently at the laundry hung on the drying rack before returning to the rocking chair and sitting down. The beer bottle in his hand had become more lukewarm than before.

The sound of a baby crying faintly scratched at his ears. Just enough to not become overly irritable.

Suddenly, the image of Professor Antorelli, whom he had met a few days ago, came to mind. His face had improved significantly compared to before.

People say life is unpredictable, but just like the roles of a master and a servant can change, it amused him that the positions of the happy and the unhappy seem to shift in an instant.

“Servants ride horses, while masters walk the earth like servants.”

Lieutenant Colonel Meijhem resumed sipping the beer. The content of the Bible that Priest Antorelli had pointed out suddenly came to mind.

“Therefore, do not say that what is kept by faith is murder.”

A slightly chilly breeze blew pleasantly.

The sound of the child crying was no longer heard.

The beer was still bitter, but even lukewarm beer held a certain flavor.

With each gulp of the lukewarm beer that slid down his throat, Lieutenant Colonel Meijhem felt a pang of pain in his chest, sharp and acute.

It was surely the process of new flesh growing over his wounds.