Chapter 215

On a cold winter day, an event unfolded.

That day, it snowed unexpectedly, even though it was still the early part of winter. While it didn’t snow heavily enough to reach my ankles, there was enough for a snowball fight, allowing us to enjoy the playful throwing of snowballs.

The snow was serene, falling gently from the sky, cold enough to make my skin tingle, yet remaining still.

As I gazed blankly out the window at the scene, a sudden desire to step into the snow came over me.

So, I went outside.

I quickly threw on a coat and shoved my gloves carelessly into my coat pocket. The gloves, warmed by the heat of the heater, felt pleasantly cozy.

After preparing to head out, once I stepped into the hallway, a chill wrapped around my body. I shivered as if the cold was freezing me to my bones.

However, I didn’t complain. This chill was still bearable.

I took slow steps and exited the building. A dazzlingly white landscape enveloped my eyes. The cold intensified.

Snow lay piled everywhere. Here and there…

I noticed a flower bed made of light-colored bricks. It seemed that bright yellow and red flowers had once been bursting forth from there.

But now, there were no flowers. The vibrant buds that had bloomed happily under the sun had gradually bowed their heads and withered away. The culprit was the cold, still white demons.

White demons. White demons.

As I stood about eight or nine paces away, gazing at the pure white scenery, a sudden sharpness hit my eyes. I hadn’t slept well the night before.

Tiredness and drowsiness, my eyes aching from the dazzling white light reflecting off the snow, and a heavy feeling pressing down on my heart came over me—.

What was it? Was it some bone from a past life I was chewing over? Was the name of that bone “memories”?

A dog lived inside my head. Whenever that damned dog chewed on the bone called memories, I felt pain each time.

The winters of 1916 and 1917 were especially cold. It felt as if each finger and toe barely counted as ten together. I was always shivering from the cold and going hungry.

In comparison, yes. This current piercing chill was quite cold too. Somehow, it felt like the cold and hardships I had previously faced were slowly fading away. Was it a sign that the weight of memories had lightened?

On a cold winter day, the combat rations I barely heated over a campfire in the trench tasted terrible. It was not just unappetizing; it barely tasted like anything at all.

I could make endless excuses. It was because of the cold. My tongue, my taste buds were numb. In the cold, it would be difficult to sense taste. I was struggling for survival so intensely that I couldn’t taste anything—.

It was hardly laughable. To accept that the situation I was in had gnawed at my perfectly healthy tongue felt ridiculous, especially when the combat rations were pitifully made from factory by-products.

The stench that lingered from the sardine cans, and the hard biscuits topped with salted sardines that reeked of fish.

As sterilized cans and thoroughly dried biscuits, they were unlikely to spoil easily.

But just as everything in the world claims that for every gain there is a loss, taste was not assured.

There were also bitter cheap black teas, a few pieces of a slimy, revolting chocolate, and sugar cubes that smelled like cardboard.

I wanted to avoid them all, but thinking about them only made that taste spring back to mind. I wouldn’t even pretend they were good memories.

The warmth of the campfire would not be forgotten. It warmed my hands; how vast that gratitude was.

But they were gone now.

There were no flowers with the smallest and most precious appearances peeking out from the flower bed, nor was I there, eating my combat rations while warming myself by the fire.

There was no foolish Private Jeffrey who had been dozing off next to the warmth of the fire nor the stray dog abandoned by refugees to catch rats. I think its name was Tucker.

Now that I think about it, Corporal Tucker was gone too. He foolishly worsened his ankle injury and died.

Private Janssen, Corporal Borman, Sergeant Anthony… Could they all really be dead? It felt dreamlike.

And now even Helena, whose memory has faded.

I erased them. I tried with all my might to consciously work to erase those images, determined not to remember them anymore.

If you try not to think of an elephant, you will only end up thinking of an elephant. That saying was true.

“…Tsk.”

I clicked my tongue. But I didn’t say anything. Now, it seemed I could refer to them as memories.

– Puh!

“Uh….”

“Hey, hey…! That’s definitely the professor! What are we going to do?!”

The murmuring of those two girls was distinctly heard not far away. Their voices, and the snowball shockingly splattered across my shoulder certainly caught my attention.

“Eeep…!”

“I-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

After bowing slightly to apologize, the two girls rushed over to me and brushed the snow off my coat. Their eyelashes trembled with sincerity.

“It’s alright.”

I slightly dodged the hands that were brushing off my coat. Though the snow had been shaken off, I didn’t forget to sweep it away with my own hand. I took off my gloves and shook them a few times, but still, some of the snow remained, melted and damp with my body heat.

“U-Um, we’re really sorry….”

“P-Please forgive us….”

I said it was alright, but the two spirited girls didn’t seem to have any intention of retreating. Do I know them? It didn’t seem so.

They were from 1st grade, class A, not even class B. At most, I vaguely remembered them from class C. The ties of their uniforms clearly indicated they were 1st graders. For some reason, I found myself chewing on complaints.

Damn it, I wanted to figure it out—.

“Students. What is your department and name?”

“Huh, huh…!”

“I’m sorry…!”

“It’s okay. I’m just asking out of curiosity, so you don’t need to be too nervous.”

They were trembling in fear, clearly overwhelmed. I might have been a little irritated that my perception of students hardly extended beyond this.

But that irritation quickly faded. It was all my own doing, who could I blame?

“I’m Sarah Bonner, from the 1st grade D class of the Arts department….”

“I’m Miriam Hagen…! From the 1st grade C class of the Arts department…!”

Sarah Bonner, Miriam Hagen. The introductions from the two students felt somewhat deflated. I smiled gently at them.

“It’s really alright, so don’t worry. If a snowball fight gets interrupted, the fun will fade away, won’t it?”

“…….”

“More importantly… While it’s fine to have a snowball fight, if you get wet like this, it’s easy to catch a cold. Once you go to the Main Chapel, you’ll find Sofia Sub-priest, so it’s best to get help from her to dry off…. Are you listening?”

“…Huh.”

“I-I’m listening….”

The expressions of the two girls, gazing at me vacantly with slightly dazed eyes, gave me enough cause for concern. I lowered the smile I had been holding and waved my hand.

“Then I will be on my way. Enjoy the snowball fight.”

“Ah….”

“Goodbye….”

Eyes filled with snow, their hair damp, they stared blankly at me, finally sniffling and bowing their heads towards me.

I let out a shallow sigh, ensuring that they wouldn’t hear. I had just expressed concern about them catching a cold, but with them like this, isn’t it guaranteed they would catch one?

Still, as I looked back at where those two were standing, they briefly whispered to each other before starting to walk in the direction of the Main Chapel, just as I had suggested.

While I thought it wouldn’t be too bad to struggle for a few days if they caught a cold, having been someone who lived with the burden of colds every winter, it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

As I walked across the Main Building Courtyard, I stopped and suddenly looked up. Though there were a few clouds, the bright sun was clearly shining through the slightly open blue sky, yet it appeared not able to melt all the snow, looking somewhat weak.

My breath misted into the cold air, and as I stepped towards that sun, it quickly dispersed. Watching that made me nod in acknowledgment.

“Winter….”

Winter. The coldest season among the four, and the season where snow almost uniquely falls.

Snow falls heavily, placing Christmas, marking the start and end of the year simultaneously.

A battlefield, in the frigid season.

What year is it…?

I shook my head. Someone would probably think I was out of my mind for doing so. But that didn’t matter to me.

‘In 1917.’

What’s important is, more than the winters of 1916 and 1917….

‘…It’s cold.’

The coldness.

This year’s winter was, ominously, quite cold.

Yes, ominously cold.

*

“So, we’re going on a trip!”

– Bang!

Sofia Sub-priest slapped her hands down on my desk and then, shaking her hands, sulked. Her slightly reddened palm was quite striking.

“Ugh… It hurts…!”

“…A trip, you say?”

“Yeah! A trip!”

“…….”

Just as the saying goes that there’s never a quiet day, Sofia Sub-priest always brought baffling topics before me. I put down the papers I had been reviewing, sighed lightly, and looked at her.

“Sofia Sub-priest. We still have on-call duty during the winter break.”

“Isn’t it only once or twice…?”

“…That is true, but.”

On-call duty was an excuse; the truth was that winter was the season I detested going outside because of the cold. A trip, suggesting a change of scenery and a spur-of-the-moment escape…

In another season, maybe, but at least with winter, cold and snow, it felt like a distant tale.

“But, Head Priest said he would go to the Holy Empire with me at Christmas….”

“…….”

– …Connections are forged by oneself.

– Huh?

– Isn’t the winter in the Holy Empire beautiful?

It suddenly brought back my words to Sofia when bidding farewell to Priest Peter and Priest Camilla, who had come from the Holy Empire, when she was sad about parting.

…What have I done?

“If you really dislike it, then it can’t be helped….”

With a pronounced dejection in her steps, Sofia Sub-priest trudged back to her desk.

‘…Damn it.’

Yeah. After all, I had planned to go at some point. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment and then spoke to Sofia, whose demeanor was now glum.

“…Fine.”

“…Huh?”

“Let’s go on the trip. The Christmas in the Holy Empire is famous….”

“Yay! I’ll write up the travel plan right away!”

“…….”

After Sofia Sub-priest dashed out of the professor’s office, I finally realized I had been deceived.

…The price for deceiving me would indeed have to be paid dearly.

I looked out the window at the snow-covered Main Building Courtyard and thought.

It was the heart of winter.