The rain continued to fall.
Even in late August, when it shouldn’t be raining, the rain took the form of a monsoon shower rather than a passing drizzle or downpour.
– Pat. Thud.
Thick, harsh raindrops mercilessly struck my back. Through the skin under my black shirt, somehow, that stinging pain seemed to relay itself.
It was just a rain shower. It was just that I was getting wet. Yet I couldn’t bear the pain of the raindrops slapping against my back.
It was like bullets pouring down from the sky. That was a monsoon rain.
“……”
However, I endured it. As always, I was skilled at enduring pain.
“…Cough!”
But I couldn’t hold back the lump rising from within me. It was something I couldn’t do.
“Cough! Cough!”
With a massive cough that made my whole body jerk, the thick, dark clotted blood came pouring out uncontrollably. The rain, pouring down fiercely and roasting my back, seemed to egg it on even more.
It wasn’t that I had succumbed to it. There was nothing to discuss about surrendering; it was merely a rain shower.
But what mattered was that I felt that way.
“Ugh…”
As the relentless cough subsided just enough to catch my breath, I wiped the stream of blood running down my chin and cleared my blurred vision.
“Well, you…”
Meijhem, looking very flustered, stared at me. No, beyond his shoulder…
“Well done.”
She had disappeared, now standing right beside me, whispering in my ear.
“You did really well. You look dignified in front of everyone.”
“…Cough!”
Another cough erupted. I instinctively raised my hand to cover my mouth.
“I’m in pain. It’s so agonizing. I’m someone whose body and mind are breaking down… express it confidently.”
Without even taking any medicine, why was I vomiting blood?
“And let everyone know that it’s my fault…”
That too, in front of your grave. In a place where you might be watching.
“No. That’s not it. Lucio.”
“What, are…”
“I’m still in Karkas, you know?”
Right. Karkas. In that damn hellish land, surrounded by low hilltops, you are still scattered, unable to close your eyes.
“But, Lucio. That doesn’t matter.”
“……”
“What matters is, ultimately, showing it. No matter how much you try to hide your painful wounds, if they become infected and rotten enough to show flesh on the bandage, then it will already be too late.”
“Cough…!”
“Rather, showing it now hurts less.”
I wanted to cover my ears.
But I couldn’t. I was afraid that if I moved my hands, it would show my face, which had vomited blood.
To Meijhem, who had at least a rough understanding of my situation, to Meijhem’s wife, who was looking at me with shocked eyes, and…
“Head Priest…”
To Sofia Sub-priest, who knew why I was vomiting blood, yet wore a face that found it hard to look at me.
“Professor…?”
For some reason, standing behind her and looking this way was Laura von Adelheit. Beside her were the Adelhaid Duke, Chloe, and Elin.
To what extent was the range of my hallucinations expanding?
Logically, those four wouldn’t be here at this time. Realizing that even their appearance was a hallucination, I gritted my teeth and trembled.
“What the hell… Cough…!”
“Ah, Priest Antorelli. Are you really okay?”
Meijhem, who knew my situation, was fretful now that he saw me vomiting blood. Just a moment ago, he seemed to have grabbed my collar, which was odd.
“I… Cough…! I’m okay…”
“I heard why you’re like this last time, but seeing it right in front of me is surprising. Do you really not need to go to the hospital?”
“Yes… I’m really okay. I’m fine…”
I raised my trembling finger and pointed at Sofia Sub-priest. More precisely, at the bag that Sofia Sub-priest was holding.
“Hey, the medicine…”
“Medicine…? Ah, got it! Wait a moment!”
Meijhem, who nodded hurriedly, dashed towards Sofia Sub-priest. Watching the two of them rummage through the bag, I found myself unable to keep my head up.
“Lucio. It must be hard, right?”
“……”
“It must hurt a lot. Just as much as the pain you’ve gone through.”
I couldn’t respond. I couldn’t affirm to something created by my delusion. Especially if it was Helena.
“You may want to give up. You might feel like you have lost the will to live.”
“…Cough!”
“Do you know why that is?”
The sweetly whispering voice gradually sank, adding realism to its tone. It sounded almost like the sound of the raindrops stopping.
“It’s because you compromised. Lucio.”
“……”
Because I compromised.
I compromised on the dead, I compromised to not grieve for their deaths, and I compromised to not think about the guilt over Helena’s death.
I had heard it until my ears bled. Until now, I had denied all those words. But…
‘Is there a need for that?’
That question began to sprout in my heart like a seed.
“There’s no need for that, Lucio. You don’t have to compromise. No, you shouldn’t compromise.”
Is that the harsh story that I, who assisted you to death, shouldn’t forget you?
“No. That’s not it, Lucio. Your defensive attitude has been a problem for a long time.”
Then, what on earth…
“The reason I shouldn’t compromise…”
What could that reason possibly be?
“Heh… Lucio. It’s because…”
A warm breath wrapped around my ear. It felt like a delusion.
No, can I really call this a delusion now? Perhaps, it really could be reality…
“If you compromise, you will lose the meaning of life.”
“……!”
My body flinched involuntarily. In an instant, an excruciating pain struck my head.
“If you compromise their deaths and then compromise my death… for the time being, it won’t hurt. You won’t suffer. You might feel a sense of freedom.”
“Ugh…”
“But before long, you will realize — is there a reason for me to be alive?”
“Ugh, ugh…!”
It hurts. It hurts. It’s agonizing. It’s so painful!
“Hey, the medicine…”
A cracked voice emerged. I lifted my face from the grass and looked at Meijhem and Sofia Sub-priest, who were urgently rummaging through the bag.
It seemed I had dropped my glasses somewhere, as my vision kept blurring. Rough breaths kept escaping my lips.
“Medicine…! My, legs…”
My head hurts. It’s painful. This is all your fault.
“Lucio…”
If I take the medicine, for a moment, you will disappear. The unbearable pain stemming from the incoherence of perception will disappear if I take the medicine.
So hurry, find the medicine, and give it to me…
“Stop denying it. Lucio.”
“Ugh…!”
“Don’t run away, and stop deceiving yourself that it’s just a delusion.”
“Ugh, ugh…”
It hurts, it’s so painful…
“Now, let’s stop avoiding it.”
But what you’re saying… is not wrong at all.
“Ugh… Ha…”
“For the fleeting happiness that you have long insisted is nothing more than a delusion… will you throw away your whole life?”
A life that compromises Helena’s death. A future where the guilt over Helena’s death disappears.
In the past, I feared it too much to bear it. I’m still afraid.
But at the same time, I desperately hoped for it. If that happened, I wouldn’t have to suffer as I do now, I wouldn’t have to endure pain anymore, I would be able to live a normal life without needing to take medicine, and I wouldn’t have nightmares.
But, but…
“Is that future a certain future? Will that everyday life continue on indefinitely?”
“……”
“No. If that happens, you will lose your will to live.”
Helena is dead. And I vowed to live my life atoning for her death.
But if I were to throw even that atonement away… if I were to unbind the chains binding my body just because they were heavy…
“It becomes a life worse than death, Lucio.”
Do I have any more reason to keep living?
“Ha… Hah…”
“I… found it…!”
“Priest Antorelli! Is this… right?!”
Meijhem thrust a white pill bottle towards me, asking. Having no strength to respond, I weakly nodded my head.
“Su… Sub-priest! Why is the professor suddenly like this?!”
“Professor!”
“Pro… Professor… why…?”
There were many foreign voices. I had no strength to discern whose voices they were.
Meijhem, being one-armed and unable to attach his prosthetic because of the rain, wouldn’t be able to open the tightly sealed pill bottle with just his left hand. The moment he reflexively grabbed the pill bottle, a look of dismay spread across his face.
“Sub-priest Sofia, please…”
“Please…!”
Sofia Sub-priest began to try with all her might to open the cap of the pill bottle. As I blankly stared at that scene, I realized that the end was approaching.
“It feels like the end is coming. It took a long time to explain why you shouldn’t compromise…”
“Cough…!”
“And for you to realize that… it really took a long time.”
Through my blurred vision, shimmering blonde hair appeared. It was not Sofia Sub-priest’s hair.
“Don’t try to compromise, Lucio. The guilt buried deep in your heart isn’t something that can be extracted.”
“Then…”
What on earth should I do?
“Oh, that’s simple.”
“……”
“Look into my eyes, Lucio.”
The soft touch that grasped my cheek was undoubtedly not an illusion.
That unreal sensation, the hand gently cradling my cheek, lifted my head, which had been drooping.
And I faced her brightly shining emerald eyes.
“If you cannot throw it away, you must embrace it.”
“……”
“It will be a thorny path. It will be tough. It will be painful and hurt. There will be days when it will be so agonizing that you can’t bear it.”
Short blonde hair. Green eyes. The thick glimmer that moistens around them.
“But, Lucio. That’s growing pain.”
“Growing pains…”
“You, who are as good as half dead, being helped to sustain life… to endure until someday the part of you that has settled deep inside can be brought up again, such growing pains.”
So, please endure. That which resembles Helena whispered as she wept.
“I can at least say the words you want, even if it’s nothing but a delusion to you.”
“……”
“I love you too. Lucio.”
I felt that I could finally… let you go now.
“I loved you. And… I’m sorry. Lucio.”
“I… too…”
You are coming closer. Your face is nearing mine. You come closer like that and kiss me without hesitation.
Even if it’s something close to the illusion created by my delusion, I…
“…I’m really sorry.”
…gulp.
…
I swallowed the pill that entered my mouth. The finger of Sofia Sub-priest that had touched my lips drew away.
Therefore, rather than my lips… it was Sofia Sub-priest’s finger.
“Head Priest… are you okay?”
“…Cough!”
The effects of the medicine appeared quickly. I expelled something that was churning in my throat.
“Ugh! Cough! Cough! Hack…!”
Thick, dark clots came weakly spewing out. Among all that I had vomited so far, the largest size of clots.
Once I expelled that, I understood.
That I would never again be able to see you, the illusion that appeared before me.
That the words you spoke just now were your last words.
My eyes slowly closed. The sounds I could hear around me faded away.
It was the last farewell to my delusion, stained with guilt.
![[TS] The End of Magical Girls Has Come](https://i3.wp.com/darkmtl.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/1737407792-8993-TS-The-end-of-magical-girls-has-come.png?resize=85,105 "[TS] The End of Magical Girls Has Come")