Chapter 94

[Lee Ha-eun · Yu Sung-jae ‘The Moonlight Through the Clouds’ Ends After Setting New Highest Ratings Again]

[KBC ‘The Moonlight Through the Clouds’ Records 33.7% for Final Episode]

[KBC ‘The Moonlight Through the Clouds’ Achieves Explosive Success, MBS ‘Full Moon Lovers’ Exits With a Lonely 8.1%]

“Successful… I guess.”

There was no denying it.

No matter how hard I tried to assert otherwise, I couldn’t deny the success of my first leading role drama.

It felt like a good outcome.

And it really was good.

However, once I became aware that it was a good result, for some reason, I also started to feel other things besides just good feelings.

-Creak─.

I rose from the broadcasting chair and headed towards the soundproof booth.

What I faced was undoubtedly a woman’s room.

Overall, the room had a white tone that exuded a feminine atmosphere.

I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what, but it was certainly more reminiscent of a woman’s space than a man’s.

Even the clothes neatly hung in the closet were all female clothing.

Only the tracksuit for exercising was somewhat androgynous.

Without any particular aversion, I could choose what I wanted to wear, and I had a fair understanding of what is called a ‘dressed-up appearance.’

Thinking back, I don’t recall ever feeling particularly averse to it.

But that was probably due to ignorance rather than a matter of preference.

In a time when I felt awkward wearing things like women’s blouses, all I could wear were dreary hospital gowns.

At that time, I didn’t even properly know what clothes felt awkward for me and what suited me.

Perhaps that’s why there was no significant confusion regarding my gender identity.

Even if living as a woman felt awkward, it wasn’t something I disliked or hated.

However, defining everything with the four characters of ‘woman’s life’ became complex and made life busier in many ways.

“Actor, singer, celebrity, famous person….”

Quietly murmuring the words that could define me, I slowly walked toward the full-length mirror on the other side.

What reflected back was a famous person standing silently in the long mirror.

Now, there were more faces I knew than those I didn’t.

I decided to try making various expressions for a moment.

I displayed different emotions, each with distinct characteristics and feelings.

Afterward, countless characters briefly reflected in the mirror and then vanished in an instant.

Thus, as I showcased every type of atmosphere I could exhibit, I finally erased ‘acting’ once I realized there was no new image left to create.

“……So this is what my face looks like.”

A hazy gaze.

An empty look.

An expression closer to a doll than a person.

I felt nothing.

I couldn’t feel anything.

A visage devoid of even the most basic emotion was truly, unpleasant.

It did not feel like I was alive.

But, for some reason.

The more I stared at a face that resembled nobody, the more I felt at ease.

It was as if my complex mind was slowly beginning to organize itself.

“……I think I can do it.”

Not long after, someone slowly began to appear in the long mirror: actor Lee Ha-eun.

The person currently garnering attention from various fields was gazing at me with the same calm expression as always.

As expected, it was not difficult at all.

It was skilled.

Familiar.

Easy.

Not long ago, the unpleasant doll had transformed into a celebrity effortlessly.

Despite everything that had happened during that time, the technique to completely suppress ‘me’ had remained unchanged.

Thus, all the more.

“……I succeeded. Quite enough.”

I had to acknowledge that I succeeded with my own acting.

I had to accept, just like Baek Tae-hoon mentioned a few days ago, that my positioning had reached a certain trajectory.

Moreover, I also had to realize that I could do much more than when I wasn’t famous.

I became a celebrity because I continued to gain attention.

And as a celebrity, I could keep receiving that attention.

The meaning of being noticed is not merely about being known to many people.

Words carry weight, will and intention gain strength, and I can draw interest toward me.

Decisively, I could become even more famous.

Having already taken off on a trajectory, I had gained the potential to soar to greater heights.

“……In the end, it’s just me. No one else. I have to… save myself.”

I came to the conclusion that I could reach those who have lost everything.

I felt certain that I could confront those who had caused me to lose everything.

What faced me then was something I had been inadvertently turning away from.

I finally decided what to do about my not-yet-deceased past self.

Therefore, it wouldn’t be limited to just saving that life alone.

To save the life that follows as well.

-♪

-♪

-♪

-♪…Click.

[Hello? What’s up, Ha-eun?]

“I’m going to the singing contest.”

[Oh? Really?]

“Yes.”

I began to climb the stairs to become a more ‘reliable person.’

A place to pause and catch my breath had already been provided.

I already knew where I needed to return after finishing everything.

So, I had to find a way to climb all the way to the top.

I had to put an end to those unpleasant memories completely.

There was no other path.

***

“Um…. Ha-eun, do you really want to go on time?”

“Yes.”

In the 2nd year teacher’s office at Narae Arts High School.

To be more precise, in the small meeting room inside the office.

“I’ll be honest, Ha-eun. You could even be offered special admission. You don’t have to study for the college entrance exam.”

“There are people who don’t like special admissions.”

“What others think doesn’t matter.”

“To me, they are important people. First of all, I need to show a good university name.”

‘…Is she marrying into a chaebol family or something?’

Currently, Ha-eun was discussing her future career with her homeroom teacher.

Strictly speaking, rather than a discussion, it was closer to Ha-eun unilaterally trying to persuade.

“The teacher also knows that our Ha-eun studies well. But… isn’t it tough to continue balancing acting and academics?”

“It’s okay. I’m absolutely not overdoing it.”

Ha-eun’s thoughts after that point remained entirely unchanged.

Thus, eventually, Ha-eun’s homeroom teacher wrapped up the career counseling with a promise to understand.

About ten minutes later, Ha-eun’s midterm report card was pulled from the drawer.

The report card, which clearly showed that Ha-eun had studied well, caused her homeroom teacher to display a mix of emotions.

After all, Ha-eun’s homeroom teacher had overseen countless students till now.

She understood better than anyone that Ha-eun’s determination to juggle both academics and the entertainment industry was ambitious.

However, because the report card in her homeroom teacher’s hand proved that Ha-eun was sincere,

“She said she would go straight into filming a new drama right after the fall festival. I wonder if that’ll be okay…”

In the end, it became difficult to ardently dissuade Ha-eun.

At the same time, it became challenging to provide strong support too.

That’s why Gong Hye-yeon, the class president of Class 2, was called to the teacher’s office.

Considering that Gong Hye-yeon had been spending time with Ha-eun for practice of ‘Shall We Fall Together’,

I thought she could give a more accurate account of Ha-eun’s current condition.

However.

“Ha-eun… she’s really scary.”

“Uh, huh? Why?”

The things I actually heard from Gong Hye-yeon turned out to be entirely different from my expectations.

“She suddenly changed drastically from a few days ago. She seriously lectured for thirty minutes over a simple mistake that happened once. And she wasn’t angry but spoke calmly, so it felt weird to interrupt her. Oh, and during the ending scene practice with Joo Do-yoon, she insisted that we should make it look like we were really kissing in front of the audience, adjusting our head positions hundreds of times…”

In the end, I could only confirm that Ha-eun had become even more proactive than before.

Then, I asked, just in case, if Ha-eun seemed tired or anything.

“Among our class, no, in the entire school, Ha-eun is the most energetic, Teacher.”

I ultimately had to send Gong Hye-yeon back to the classroom, as her voice denied my question without even a moment of contemplation.

For some reason, it felt like any worries I had would be meaningless.

As time flowed on.

Before long, as the performance of ‘Shall We Fall Together’ approached in less than ten minutes, Ha-eun’s homeroom teacher headed to the waiting room.

“Okay, everyone, don’t be nervous. Relax. Go with the mindset of enjoying!”

She did her duty as a homeroom teacher, comforting each student of Class 2, who appeared anxious.

Of course, she also approached Ha-eun, gently patting her shoulder and whispering encouragement.

Up until that point, I could not find any significant anomaly in Ha-eun.

She merely nodded with the same calm expression as usual and expressed her determination to come in first place and go to Japan.

The only odd point was that she was muttering to herself about a ‘Japan travel story’ in a way that didn’t seem typical.

However.

“Alright, the next performance is Class 2’s ‘Shall We Fall Together’!”

Finally, after the musical performance of Class 2 began,

More precisely.

“The fault is all mine. The whole country is my fault. Thus, as a sinner… I must fade away.”

After facing the queen of arias precariously staggering in the middle of the stage, I firmly believed that Ha-eun should not be judged by the same standards and measures as the other students.

It felt unfamiliar. In many ways.

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