Chapter 17

“Cut! Great job, everyone~.”

Four hours later than when Ha Eun’s first shoot wrapped up after a somewhat chaotic finish.

Having just completed the last shoot without any notable mistakes, Ha Eun stepped out of the filming site with Ju Jung-yun.

However, before they could completely leave the set, Kim So-hyun appeared and approached Ha Eun.

Ha Eun looked at Kim So-hyun with a puzzled gaze, just as she had when Kang Seon-woo came up to her a few hours earlier.

“Uh, Ha Eun, um….”

A brief moment of hesitation followed, a bit awkward.

Curious about what could be so difficult to say, Ha Eun stopped walking for a moment and waited for Kim So-hyun to speak.

“I’m sorry about today… for various reasons.”

An apology for multiple things, including ignoring Ha Eun’s greeting, came from Kim So-hyun.

At a loss for words in response, Ha Eun took a moment to think.

Since she didn’t particularly hold any ill feelings toward Kim So-hyun, she fumbled out with just a “It’s okay.”

In fact, she had completely forgotten about the time her greetings had been ignored.

Above all, what filled Ha Eun’s mind at that moment was different.

She concluded the conversation with a simple remark about looking forward to the next shoot and resumed her steps toward the exit.

Thus, she got into Ju Jung-yun’s black van.

As they started to drive through the quiet highway, which had no cars at that late hour.

‘Hmm, Ha Eun, you interpreted it well. You did interpret it well, but… from now on, it might be better to focus more on the situation than the characters.’

She began to think about the new perspective on acting that Kang Seon-woo had shared with her.

This was the first time someone had given her advice regarding her acting.

And it was also the first time that the outcome had been meaningfully apparent.

Acting that not only concentrated solely on Ha Eun but also touched upon the emotions of others.

It felt strange to touch on something she had never even considered before.

However, with just a slight provocation, the endless string of Kim So-hyun’s NGs had suddenly ceased.

Even though it was ad-lib that wasn’t in the script, the connection of the lines had become even smoother.

Of course, it wasn’t that Ha Eun’s previous acting was wrong.

Kang Seon-woo, the one who had given the advice, had said that Ha Eun’s interpretation was not incorrect.

It was just that from the standpoint of a veteran actor who had experienced numerous filming sets, Ha Eun’s acting had been what is termed as ‘selfish’ acting.

Although he didn’t explicitly use the term ‘selfish acting,’ the way he had described how Ha Eun’s performance had felt to him explained it to a certain extent.

“Um, Ha Eun. I get car sick if I read the script in the car.”

“… I can still manage for now.”

This made Ha Eun think that she shouldn’t stick to just one direction while portraying Kim Jiji.

The act of unfolding the script again, which she had already read and reread several times, was an extension of that thought.

Thus, until the next filming day arrived.

She would spend her time trying to come up with a performance that focused on the situation rather than the characters, just as Kang Seon-woo had advised.

To be clear, she didn’t intend to rigidly adhere only to the acting that focused on the situation.

Because there were pros and cons to concentrating on either side.

It was just that both types of performances needed to be well-prepared.

Considering that it would probably make it easier to shoot the next-door uncle scene.

-Creak.

“Hello.”

“Oh, Ha Eun has arrived.”

Even until she reunited with Kang Seon-woo at a small church located in the suburbs, she continued to ponder deeply.

Afterward, she began to look around the filming location with Kang Seon-woo, who would be involved in most of the scenes Ha Eun would shoot that day.

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“Ah, yes. I had breakfast.”

“Oh? You had breakfast? It’s only 8 o’clock, though?”

“I usually wake up at 7 to eat.”

“Oh… I see. You have such a healthy habit, Ha Eun.”

Continuing to chat with Kang Seon-woo about trivial matters while simulating the filming scene in her mind, she started to hear the staff’s voices indicating it was time to prepare.

The first scene Ha Eun would shoot today was the first meeting between Jin Kang-sik and Kim Jiji.

The setting was that Kim Jiji, who had come to eat a church meal offered for free on Sunday morning, happened to run into Jin Kang-sik, who had stopped by the church.

Regardless, it was a rather ordinary conversation scene that didn’t require deep emotional acting.

Since it was a relatively calm atmosphere in the early part of the scene, there was no need to exert excessive effort.

“Uh, sir, did you come here to eat too?”

“I’m meeting someone here. I’ve already eaten.”

“Then, can you give me your meal ticket? I’m always hungry, maybe because I’m still growing.”

“…Sure.”

“Cut! You both did great!”

Though they had completed the shoot without any particular difficulties.

Coincidentally, the next scene would take place in the dark of night.

Thus, they had to wait at the filming site until the dark night sky finally arrived.

Yet, it wasn’t boring, as the last scene to be filmed today would be the final scene of the next-door uncle.

The filming location was also the same small church where they shot that morning.

They would reunite again at the place where Jin Kang-sik and Kim Jiji first met, creating a circular narrative.

Unlike their first meeting, where they came just to have breakfast, this time there was a twist in that Jin Kang-sik had come to rescue a kidnapped Kim Jiji.

Regardless, this final scene was the one Ha Eun had prepared and practiced the hardest for.

“So, see you later, Jiji.”

“Yes, see you later, sir.”

With the gravitas of the most earnest atmosphere she had carried recently, she bid farewell to Kang Seon-woo, playing Jin Kang-sik.

One thing Ha Eun hadn’t thought about was.

“Um, Ha Eun, please bear with it for a little longer, even if the storage space is cramped.”

“…Okay.”

Unlike the morning filming scene, where she was free, this evening’s scene began in a hostage situation.

Thus, Ha Eun now found herself.

‘…I should have brought a hot pack.’

Left alone in the small storage space at the corner of the chapel.

It was a bit chilly, perhaps because they didn’t even turn on the little lights for more dramatic effect.

***

“Haah…”

Every time she exhaled, white breath appeared.

Fortunately, she was wearing thermal underwear inside, so it wasn’t unbearable.

Still, being alone in the little storage space felt a bit lonely.

About ten minutes remained before Jin Kang-sik would come to rescue her after the storage door opened.

Regardless of the situation, she had to remain still in the storage until all the villains waiting outside were dealt with by Jin Kang-sik.

She kept her gaze at the scattered little objects around the storage.

Among them, what caught her eye the most was a wooden plaque with familiar scripture inscribed on it.

“Then the LORD God formed the man of dirt from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul. Genesis 2:7”

The problem was that the familiarity came from a negative experience.

‘…Isn’t it about time I forgot about this?’

She still didn’t understand why the memories from her past life remained so vividly intact.

Her memories contradicted the famous saying that humans are animals of forgetfulness.

Perhaps it was because she was huddled up alone in that narrow storage room.

Memories that couldn’t even be considered good began to flow back in one after another.

To be clear, it wasn’t an all that rare story.

Just a cliché story that anyone could encounter in dramas or novels.

A cold hospital room, the smell of antiseptic, the monotone beeping of machines.

And sitting quietly on a bright white hospital bed.

‘I’m fine, Chairman. Please don’t worry too much.’

The image of herself, who was telling blatant lies to her grandfather, the head of a well-known corporation.

It was a facade created entirely without her own will, orchestrated by those people.

‘Do you know how much trouble your mom and dad go through because of you?’

‘…If you had been a bit healthier, we wouldn’t have been treated like this.’

Her frail body, which had been severely weak since childhood.

To those people, obsessed with succession of corporate management, a sickly child was nothing more than a hindrance.

Lying that her health was showing gradual improvement.

Lying that there was a successor to carry on the business, in order to deceive her grandfather and escape being pushed down the line for succession, she struggled with all her might.

Like relatives with ordinary children, they pretended to have ordinary children as well.

Then, on those rare occasions when she coughed lightly in front of her grandfather.

-Slap.

-Pow.

‘You messed up…’

‘…Shut up.’

Using every means at their disposal.

They restricted the expressions, voices, and gestures she could show, so her own future wouldn’t be ruined by her mere existence.

Thus, if she wanted to live just one more day.

If she wanted to breathe comfortably for just one more day, she had to become the ideal child they wanted.

Wearing only the expressions they desired, vocalizing only the words they wanted to hear, and donning the image they wanted to see.

Showing only what she felt that was instilled and learned in her.

Like a doll made of mud, not a human.

Yet, unlike the words on that wooden plaque before her, she had never been given any semblance of life.

The identity of ‘me’ had never existed, hidden deep within a heart that had long since become a deep swamp.

Every time she showed ‘me’ that others wanted to see, she created a version of ‘me’ that others would desire, using the mud that accumulated on the surface of that deep swamp.

…Was that why?

One day, she happened to come across a Virtual YouTuber who also curated her image to show only what others wanted to see.

But unlike her, the person on the screen was loved by many.

When they smiled, others smiled along, and at no moment could she find any traces of disdain that arose from deep within.

For some time now, she had been envying those people on the screen.

Though they were dolls like her, they looked genuinely happy.

Even now, living a life that is not completely different from others — perhaps not quite a regular family or life — but a life somewhat ordinary.

The memories of looking at people she couldn’t reach beyond the unseen, uncrossable wall remained vividly intact.

-Creak.

Even now, as she artificially crafted her expressions, voice, and gestures to present before others.

She didn’t deny the dreams she once held while curled up in that dark hospital corner.

Although she was a doll and not a person, she wanted to be loved like one.

Even if it meant forcing herself to imitate being human.

***

-Creak.

At the unexpected sound, all the staff’s attention suddenly focused on the storage room.

Soon, Ha Eun appeared through the slowly opening wooden door, her face tightly tense.

Kang Seon-woo, who had just defeated the last villain and was about to run toward the storage where Ha Eun was trapped, was also taken aback by the unexpected sight.

However, from her slightly parted lips came.

“…Sir…?”

A pathetic voice that was devoid of the calm facade Kim Jiji had always shown.

Furthermore, her small body began to tremble slightly.

The two blurred eyes, slightly reddened, stared directly at Jin Kang-sik in the distance, causing him to realize that the Kim Jiji he had desperately tried to save was right in front of him.

-Creak.

-Creak.

With a complex expression of worry, anxiety, joy, and relief, he was led to take one step closer to Kim Jiji.

Finally, Jin Kang-sik’s shadow reached in front of Kim Jiji.

Then, gradually lowering his gaze, he finally opened his mouth when he met her already watery dark eyes.

“…Let’s go home, Jiji.”

It signified the end of all the dangers that had threatened Kim Jiji.

With cautious hands outstretched toward the heavily curled-up body of Kim Jiji just afterwards.

Thus, the moment Jin Kang-sik’s scarred hands completely embraced Kim Jiji.

-Drop.

The pent-up emotions of Kim Jiji, which had finally flowed out in the form of warmth, spilled forth.

“Ah, sir… I missed you…”

With a voice that trembled beyond her control, she hugged Jin Kang-sik tighter, compelling him to hold her even more closely.

“Cut!”

Ultimately, everything had deviated quite a bit from the script.

Nevertheless, no one felt that Ha Eun’s acting was wrong.

No one felt confident enough to say that Ha Eun’s acting had gone wrong.

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