Chapter 65

Episode 65: The Bond of Melted Snow

Time flows.

Time has passed.

Due to the excessive influence of magic from the orc attack, my body should have been destroyed long ago.

But perhaps I was lucky, as I quickly recovered and was able to be discharged.

Since I was lucky, could I not have been a little more greedy and completely cured my magic deficiency?

Even on the day I was discharged, the girl with pure white hair, who seemed to have been admitted before me in the bed across from mine, did not leave.

That much I remember.

Why… is that?

It felt like there was some lingering attachment.

An unknown attachment.

I’m not sure, but my intuition seemed to whisper that to me.

I thought, even just a little more closeness would have been okay.

Well, to be honest… I don’t care what happens to her.

My own future is dark, and I have no obligation to worry about others.

Surely, her future can’t be darker than mine?

**********

Time flows.

Time has passed.

It was the third year of middle school.

A lot had happened since I entered middle school.

In their world, only the tier rankings in games divided social hierarchies.

Something that meant nothing over time…

Anyway, I had a really comfortable middle school life.

Why? The reason I think is quite simple.

Simply because my tier in the game was higher than the others.

More than half of the kids who approached me were all because of the game.

Back then, I thought that my gaming skill was everything.

Looking back, unless you’re a pro gamer or a streamer, it might be the most useless ability in life.

Playing games without a worry, I even forgot that my lifespan was not long.

I thought that living a life without change would be comfortable.

But now it was time to think about which high school I should go to.

As the word graduation approached, I realized that the grades that had divided social hierarchies had changed.

Game tiers.

It had reversed.

Now the rankings were based on school grades.

During the vacation, I had never once put my game offline.

The thought that this ranking would define my status in high school until I graduated filled my mind.

Pain I had never experienced.

Stress I had never experienced.

An intense anxiety I had never experienced.

A stubborn fear I had never felt even when I was given a terminal diagnosis.

All of those things seized my body in an instant.

They made my hands tremble.

Naturally, my gaming didn’t go well either.

Had my life run out?

Like the old batteries rolling around on the floor of my room.

– ‘How much longer do I have to walk on this sword’s edge?’

Will I be able to make new friends in high school as my value has run out?

Despite being an old game, I had never once stood at the top.

After entering high school, I used every method available to me to play the game.

And if that doesn’t go well…

I would have to find a new way.

I composed myself and started looking for a high school I could attend.

In reality, if my grades weren’t really high, the only options left were schools that were just the same.

It was a small relief amidst misfortune.

However, I wasn’t satisfied with that.

I wanted to give something special.

I didn’t want to go to the same humanities high school that everyone else attended.

I knew how little time I had left.

The time to choose a high school and my life.

If so, I thought a specialized high school, an extension of my middle school activities, might provide experiences that would become turning points in my life.

Coincidentally, I heard that Siwoo and Junsuk had also chosen specialized high schools.

What a coincidence.

The moment I stepped into the specialized high school, I resolved to be alone.

Could I manage to stand on my own?

That worry… my friends beside me took it upon themselves.

Difficult moments have come, but once again, I dream of a shiny high school life filled with hope.

…

I had dreamed of that shiny high school life.

Both gaming and studying weren’t going well.

As the moment of death approached, a promise I made with Junsuk came to my mind.

It wasn’t anything significant.

– ‘I’m a Master in the game, and you expect me to go 1v1 with a perpetual bronze? At least reach Platinum first.’

– ‘What’s the big deal about doing a 1v1? Fine, I won’t bother… If I reach Platinum, will you give me a game?’

A light promise that came out of trivial chatter.

That was all there was.

**********

“- That’s the story up until now.”

I listened silently as Minseong spoke.

I took in every word, as if lost in thought.

“Well, my subjective thoughts have come in a lot, but that’s not important…”

“You! Since when… No, why have you been hiding your magic deficiency? Why is that?”

I grabbed Minseong’s arm, who looked like a person waiting for the last moments of life.

Minseong snorted at me.

“Are you really that clueless?”

He lightly pushed my hand away.

“What?”

“In the beginning, I just didn’t think we’d get this close, so I didn’t say anything… But as time passed and our bond deepened, I missed my timing to tell you about my magic deficiency, or maybe I just didn’t want to worry you… Now, I just don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Th-then…”

“Maybe I didn’t want to show my weak self to others… but, well, that doesn’t really matter either.”

I watched him as he stared out the window without saying a word.

“At the very end of life… to see the snow fall with you is, surprisingly special.”

“How much longer do you think you can live?”

I asked Minseong, trying to hide the tremor in my voice.

“How long do I look like I can last?”

Minseong shot the question back at me.

“… You can graduate, right?”

“Sadly, I wish I could…”

I sighed.

“So, can you at least enjoy being a senior?”

“… For me, high school life ends after this second year.”

I couldn’t cry.

I had always thought that people cried when they faced truly desperate situations.

But when that moment actually came, not a single tear fell.

“I’m going to drop out, Siwoo.”

“Why drop out?”

“Just. I want to go quietly. If I die while still belonging to the school… it’ll create a commotion for a while. Just you knowing about my death is enough aside from my family.”

“What about Junsuk?”

“… Keep it a secret for me. Just say I dropped out and am living quietly… or that I moved to another country.”

“Do you really think that’s plausible?!”

“Siwoo, I can only say one thing to you… Our friendship won’t end. So, don’t worry too much.”

Minseong paused for a moment.

“Separation is just the tutorial in the game for new encounters.”

“What does that even mean…”

“I’m sorry, I don’t have much to say. Who here is used to this kind of situation…”

– Whoosh, whoosh.

A sudden sound of wind came from the hospital broadcast.

– For the safety of hospitalized patients, we will now completely restrict access for outside visitors.

And then the announcement came on.

Time had already passed so much.

I guess I had listened to Minseong’s story for a long time.

I adjusted my bag to leave the hospital room.

“I’m going now. Take care… If I get the chance… Let’s meet again.”

“… If there is a next time, that is.”

I grabbed the doorknob to open the hospital room door.

“Wait, Minseong.”

“Why call me? You need to hurry and leave.”

“What if… just what if… you could go back in time… What would you do?”

That last question felt like the best question to hear for a parting wisdom.

“To keep saying foolish things… If I could turn back time… even if I did, nothing would change. I would make the same choices.”

But his response seemed to show no lingering attachments.

He made it clear that it wasn’t necessary to carry on his will.

‘There was no need for him to care for me till the end.’

I instantly realized that he had decided to leave things unsaid out of consideration for me, because I had spent a considerable time with Minseong.

“Alright then… Goodbye.”

I gave a short farewell and opened the hospital room door to step outside.

I felt as if my heart was hollow.

Like this, without a thought.

I trudged toward home.

I walked.

**********

After Siwoo left, silence filled the hospital room.

I always found comfort in the silence that flowed when I was alone.

But at this moment, I felt uneasy.

It was empty and hollow, but it didn’t feel refreshing; it felt somehow suffocating.

“… That guy Siwoo, asking strange questions out of character…”

I muttered to myself, strangely unlike me.

‘To turn back time… Ha, if only I could…’

Suddenly, something surged from deep within my heart.

The lingering feelings buried deep in my chest exploded.

I bit my lip tightly.

Tears couldn’t be held back, and fluids flowed from my eyes.

“Sniff, ha… yeah, if only I could turn back time… I would never waste time on games or studying…”

My regrets and attachments slipped out.

I was thankful that Siwoo hadn’t seen me like this.

‘I’m really glad about that.’

There was no need to burden my family or close friends with this useless regret.

I looked out the window.

There was a window frame.

Of course.

I could see the snow piled on the window frame.

But that snow…

That snow had melted into water.