Chapter 221

People perform. No, they must. That’s because that’s how the species known as humans finally grows into a person. A person who doesn’t perform is ultimately no more than a monkey.

We all live, balancing on that something between tragedy and comedy, while acting. The target doesn’t matter. Anyone is fine. Anything is fine. Whatever is fine.

Act.

Just being alive doesn’t mean you truly live, right?

In that sense, it wouldn’t be strange to say that I’m an actor who is quite confident in my acting skills.

Even after seeing this, I succeeded in hiding my almost broken expression.

In front of me stood Seol-guk’s… anomalous figure.

“Uh, uh, um. Hello. You came a bit early.”

“…Well, yeah? Surprisingly, there was no traffic.”

I couldn’t help but feel like I had missed something. The two of us stood at the door for quite a while, and only after I turned my back could we finally move.

Seol-guk seemed to show signs of a little nervousness. And at the same time, was expecting something.

I didn’t know him.

In an instant, I found myself having thoughts I shouldn’t have.

When this guy, Seol-guk, called, shouldn’t I have come here, even if it meant giving up everything… that kind of imagination that shouldn’t be entertained.

Even if I had, nothing would have changed. I thought it wouldn’t be much different from now.

But still… what if I hadn’t been too late?

“Shall we go?”

“Yeah. Sorry. At home, Han-bom is… sleeping.”

“What’s going on, doing something over at your neighbor’s when you have your fine house?”

Ah, mistake. I said it a bit cynically. But it was hard to hold back since it was so obvious that it was a lie. Fortunately, this idiot seemed not to notice at all.

“They say they’re publishing a book. A poetry collection, they say. So, they drank until they completely collapsed the night before.”

“That’s good news. Tell them congratulations.”

Honestly, I didn’t care about that at all.

“Did you make a reservation for today?”

“Um… but it seems a bit mismatched. You dressed up so nicely.”

The change in Seol-guk’s expression as soon as the topic of clothing came up was amusing. The tension was replaced by embarrassment, worry, and anticipation.

“I almost didn’t recognize you for a moment.”

“Haha, luckily. Do I look good?”

“Yeah, you look good.”

How could such a single sentence bring forth such a joyous smile? How could one express a face that seemed to have everything in the world?

“I was a bit worried. Ah, ah, it’s not like I wore this because I wanted to. Han-bom… senior made me.”

I didn’t say that the person named Han-bom was probably passed out at your house. Seol-guk seemed startled, realizing the contradiction in what he had said, but as I pretended not to notice, he lowered his head as if relieved.

“That person is really something. How are they managing so well?”

“They’re a strange person, but they’re not a bad person.”

“Glad to hear that.”

That was sincere. I couldn’t take care of Seol-guk for the rest of my life. It’s good that there are people who can help Seol-guk when he has free time since he must have some free time too.

Looking at that state, it probably didn’t seem like anyone was helping properly.

… My head was complicated.

We were heading to the sea now.

It seemed like Seol-guk wanted to fulfill some more expectations, but that was a bit much for me at present. I could make it so he wouldn’t worry, but fulfilling his expectations… was a bit much right now.

The place was decided, or rather, Seol-guk chose the topic. We discussed it over the phone about two hours prior, and since Seol-guk wanted that, I followed that decision without much thought.

[Why the sea all of a sudden?]

[I went to the sea that day.]

[On the day you called me? So?]

[It smelled a bit fishy.]

[Then we should go to the mountains.]

[If that’s what you want?]

[Forget it, just go.]

It was a silly conversation. But I could sense the weight behind it. Like salt in a wound, it was terrible. I didn’t know if it was trying to cover up that memory or mask the smell, but it was enough. Just that reason was enough.

What we were choosing was just a suitable restaurant to have dinner.

However, if I had known I would come in this state, I would never have chosen such a place.

“Is this it? It’s big. It’s nice.”

Seol-guk said it was nice, but it wasn’t really a proper restaurant. It was just an ordinary place you’d find anywhere by the beach, a slightly shady restaurant that would rip off customers. It likely continued because it managed to get by moderately.

This was the place we found that could accommodate a reservation on time. Summer hadn’t even started yet, but perhaps it had gotten warm a bit earlier than expected, and the place was packed.

“There are so many people.”

“That’s not a good thing in a tourist spot, right?”

“It’s better than being empty.”

Is Seol-guk noticing now? How much the current look, the outfit stands out.

The changed Seol-guk was actually an incredible beauty. Or perhaps it should be called a pretty girl. She was at a level where she didn’t need to dress up at all to exude such an aura. If she were to grow up well in that state, she might even be tempted by herself.

But Seol-guk had a strong aversion to such things, so naturally, that appearance began to be adequately concealed. So back then, Seol-guk was definitely cute and pretty but had a sharp, piercing image, one that resembled a characteristic hostility.

And when they appeared on television, the makeup seemed to create a somewhat gloomy vibe. Was it some kind of cruel twist of fate? That makeup stuck to Seol-guk’s face like a mask. Her face grew darker, and her expression wasn’t good at all. To be precise, at this time, Seol-guk was visibly a girl in need of help, who certainly couldn’t be passed over unnoticed.

And as time passed, shortly after she began to put herself together, Seol-guk’s appearance began to showcase its value in an instant. It seemed she had let go of a certain burden of the heart. She still looked like she was in pain, but now there was a sense of leisure that made one feel it was easy to touch her.

In fact, looking at her SNS, it seemed there had been times when such problems almost arose.

But now it was a bit different. Even if it was a full makeup look, it was just a bit of color and a neat outfit. Makeup is ultimately done to become beautiful, but Seol-guk was already…

In such a situation, Seol-guk wore an outfit that seemed fit for a heavenly girl. It’s not like she had never avoided such clothes before, but there must have been a psychological hurdle that led her to not wear clothes that crossed that line. There had been instances when Hye-won had forced her to wear strange, landmine-like outfits, and she had even worn them otherwise. But she would never have really worn anything like that.

Anyway, what could I say about the current Seol-guk… It was hard to express.

I wasn’t sure where all my usual vocabulary had gone. She was simply pretty, simply cute. As if she had truly shaken off the past, there was no sign of rejection towards the clothes she wore. Except for a brief moment of shyness when she appeared in front of me.

But that was the problem. It meant that all of this was visible to everyone passing through this place. She seemed to realize that, as her face slightly reddened, but nonetheless, she didn’t bother to hide it or suggest we go to another place.

We arrived at the store we were aiming for and took a seat. We shouldn’t have chosen a place like this in the first place. We should have found somewhere proper, a place where just the two of us could have dinner. At the very least, somewhere that was more genteel. But it was unavoidable since I hadn’t imagined Seol-guk would show up like this.

It was still bright at this hour, even though summer hadn’t officially arrived yet, which was the problem. At night, people might have been less likely to notice, but it was still quite bright, and we stood out. After finding a spot in the bustling restaurant, the gazes lessened, but occasionally, I caught sight of some oblivious pests glancing our way.

Naturally, those guys wouldn’t know any of the stories about Seol-guk I was aware of. They were probably just spilling ridiculous posts on some stupid SNS. They probably didn’t know anything about the real Seol-guk but would write all sorts of trash in an attempt to get attention.

What was important to those guys wasn’t all this process. It was only the result.

Even if it wasn’t outright stalking, if someone claimed it was just a coincidence while taking a selfie that overlapped with us, there was no way to avoid being photographed.

I couldn’t even imagine what filthy things they’d be saying while looking at Seol-guk’s outfit and expression.

I imagined that even I, who was with her, would attract such attention. The focus would probably shift to me. Well, that didn’t matter. I wasn’t sleeping with a girl right now, and my work was busy. No matter how much they acted out on this country’s SNS, my book was being published in America.

Old stories? I had checked them all, but I had never been foolish enough to meet a woman who would expose them. The trouble I caused was the Three-Legged Incident, and that was because of Han Su-young’s rampage; there had been nothing else. I had usually asked for permission for both legs too.

So, would I receive attention just for being with Seol-guk? That didn’t matter.

However, I didn’t want to see Seol-guk getting insulted and hurting.

I wasn’t a strong star writer, so why should I be forced to see you in this state? The guys on the internet claiming to be your fans likely hadn’t even read your book.

As I continued to remain silent, the atmosphere grew slightly strange. Seol-guk started to glance at me now and then, and from somewhere, I could hear someone gossiping.

I glanced that way for a moment, and soon the noise dwindled.

“I… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“It’s because the attention is on me because of you… I was wondering if you felt bad because of that.”

If it had been the old Seol-guk, she would have teased me to just bear it if I felt that way. It wasn’t that long ago. Just shortly before, Seol-guk had had that much composure.

“What did you do wrong? Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay. But what about drinks? Aren’t we getting any?”

“I drove, so will you do the driving?”

“Oh, right.”

I didn’t know what to call the current Seol-guk.

She looked slightly tense, like she was lacking in composure, and was constantly afraid of something. It wasn’t such an intense, extraordinary emotion that could be used in a novel or movie. Surely, it would be trivial and insignificant.

It was probably something as petty as whether my feelings were hurt, or if her clothes weren’t good.

However, there are many buildings that can collapse with just one pillar missing.

We continued our meal without much conversation, which was different from usual. Seol-guk was trying to speak to me as best as she could, but it was difficult to engage easily. The people one meets on a blind date would talk better than this. We didn’t have such an awkward relationship.

Still, let’s drink. We should definitely drink. Even if it’s just soda, we shouldn’t miss it. Since we met like this.

“Are you not mad?”

“No, you dumbass. Just lift your glass.”

I thought about making a reservation at a place with a private room next time, while Seol-guk was probably relieved that I wasn’t angry, and so we toasted with drinks full of soda.

It was the first day of Gang Hwa-won.

The lovely figure of Seol-guk smiled with a mouthful of soda.