Chapter 60

“I heard being an Inquisition Judge is scary and tough. Does Anne really have to become one?”

“Yes. It’s the only way to save her.”

“But, but you’re a high-ranking person! Can’t you just get that Holy Body thing separately?”

060

Shining (Part 1)

The burning rain didn’t last long. The souls baptized by the holy flames could no longer hear the dark voices.

My own state was a complete mess. I giggled through tears, still feeling the lingering burning pain. Ah, it’s probably a good thing Louis didn’t see me like this.

Hot wax dripped down my body. My pale skin had turned red, blistered, and scarred, and the wax turned black, clumping and falling off my body in chunks.

I poured cold Holy Water over my scorched body again. Every moment, my body crackled in pain, but my mind, surprisingly calm, accepted all the sensations.

Yes, this level of pain is still far from enough to atone for my sins.

“Ha…”

The first things that came to my now-clear mind were guilt and self-loathing.

I almost fell for Laube’s temptation. No, for an Inquisition Judge who must always arm their mind with unwavering faith, just hearing Laube’s voice was already fatal. It meant that even the smallest crack had formed in my heart.

Even if I shook off the dark voice with extreme methods, it would only be temporary. If even the slightest gap opened in my mind, the voice would return. There’s only one way to completely silence Laube’s whispers.

To fill the crack in my heart.

Of course, I knew that method too. If Louis were by my side, we wouldn’t need to be bound by heresy or religious orders anymore.

…But that’s impossible for now. My purpose to save you hasn’t changed, but I, no longer blinded by obsession, now see reality. How?

I don’t know. I can only do what I can right now.

“Let’s go back.”

And the only thing I need to do right now is return to the cage I escaped from.

The Inquisition Temple isn’t stupid for locking me in the Reformatory. Laube’s lies were mixed with truths, making them even more solid. At least, the Inquisition Temple has no means to detain me now.

What binds me is ultimately my own conscience and guilt. The Inquisition Temple is openly, yet subtly, testing me, giving me a chance. A final chance to be treated as a human, not a monster.

Even if the trial’s outcome doesn’t change, the aftermath will. Was I just a foolish human? Or a truly evil and vile heretic?

I don’t plan to die. There’s still work to be done.

But I won’t run away, abandoning my last shred of humanity out of fear of death.

Peel. Peel.

I removed the wax clinging to my body, tidied my messy hair and clothes, and started walking.

The space had changed again, so the way back was different from the way here. Under Ailim’s guidance, I wouldn’t get lost, but I had to pass through different places. It was an unwelcome yet amusing encounter.

Should I just ignore it and move on? Even as I thought that, my steps, unusually, stopped.

“That white disaster, truly a pitiful sight.”

Inside the silver bars, a heretic crouched, unable to escape like I did.

The only prisoner the Reformatory holds now that Louis is gone. A clear heretic, but due to his former title as Crown Prince, they couldn’t kill him after capturing him. A living bomb.

Whenever I heard Joseph’s story, I thought this. Isn’t it too irrational? I’ve hunted heretics numbering more than ten fingers, yet some die and some live, bound by the ugly games of power.

“But.”

Now, I could understand a little.

After all, I did the same thing. Dividing the value of life, saving some and killing others. No matter how deep my love, I never completely lost my objective perspective. In the end, I’m no different from those I despised.

…Even as I think this, I can’t stop. I know it’s dangerous, but.

“Hmm?”

“Disgusting, filthy, trashy heretic. I have one question for you.”

It wasn’t just my gaze that changed. Perhaps because Laube had briefly possessed me.

I saw things I shouldn’t have. How far this man had already become a heretic. Though now suppressed by the Reformatory’s sacred power, if released, this seed of evil would become a terrible calamity.

In other words, even a nearly complete heretic has their heretic persona and human persona separated.

Even if their nature becomes evil and cruel, their fundamental character and values don’t change. I know this heretic’s circumstances. If it were Joseph the heretic, he’d scoff at mentioning his fiancée, feeling no meaning in those words.

‘Don’t forget, kid. Who you were, what you were, what you wanted.’

When Louis met him, this heretic gave such advice.

Even in such a corrupted and evil soul, a speck of humanity remained. Though the heart no longer beats, it hasn’t disappeared. If that stone-like heart is shattered, the heretic will die.

The only weakness of an infinitely regenerating, nearly immortal heretic. The last proof that he was once human.

“You think I’ll answer if you talk like that?”

“Yes. You’ll answer.”

The heretic let out a dry laugh, his menacing gaze piercing me.

“Oh? Like my dear brother, will you torture me until you get what you want? Sounds fun.”

“No.”

I shook my head lightly.

I knew. If there’s truly as much humanity left in him as I hope, he’ll answer my question. If he refuses, that in itself is an answer. Not the one I wanted, but still.

“If the heart remains, can any heretic return to a human form?”

After a long silence, Joseph slowly parted his lips.

“…Yes. To a human ‘form.'”

Yes, he couldn’t have missed the hidden meaning in my words. If he’s been watching everything from his first-class seat inside the bars.

If there’s even a shred of humanity left in Louis that hasn’t completely settled, I can return his human self to him. The same way I did with Joseph.

“Are you planning something foolish?”

“Hardly.”

I started walking again. As if that one question was all I had to say, looking down with the usual cold, disdainful gaze.

“I’m an Inquisition Judge. I know more about your kind than anything. Or are you going to arrogantly give me advice?”

“…Ha, you probably don’t need such advice. A heartless slaughterer, even as a human.”

Yes, I know heretics well. I may not know their ecology, but I know their behavior patterns all too well.

Heretics can return to human form. Not just mimicking the appearance, but for that moment, their personality, self, memories—everything returns. But it’s ultimately just a human form. A shell they wear temporarily for camouflage.

They merely mimic humans to blend in and avoid crises. Why couldn’t I detect any signs of heresy in Louis when I led the holy army to him?

Because the ‘heretic’ inside Louis sensed an unavoidable crisis and had already donned the human shell. In the end, the other young heretics couldn’t disguise themselves and were caught.

“Only the emotional and foolish are destroyed by love…”

The voice from behind grew distant.

Accepting the truth I had ignored was more numbing than I thought. Maybe I’m truly a heartless human, or perhaps I’ve already let go of everything mentally.

Is it a relief? The fearful eyes looking up at me, the hands pushing me away, the body rejecting me, the mouth cursing me. All of that was just traces of you, not you?

In the end, the eyes that couldn’t let go of affection, the hands that couldn’t push me away and embraced me, the body that accepted me, the mouth that whispered love to me. All just hollow echoes of the past?

Once again, I chose to postpone drawing conclusions and answering questions. ‘Someday.’ In that distant, hazy time, unanswered questions had already piled up.

Now, they’ve grown so much that they’re suffocating me.

When I arrived at the cell I was originally confined in, someone was staring blankly at the empty room.

“Sister Anne.”

At the sound of my unhidden footsteps, a red nape turned to look. An unfathomable gaze stared this way.

Verdo was fully armed, unlike me. Clad in armor, holding a sword ablaze with holy fire. I couldn’t tell where he had harmed himself, but the smell of blood was unmistakable even through the metallic scent of his armor.

“No, I shouldn’t call you that now. Sinner Anne.”