Chapter 182

When I woke up, Eun-a was already gone. I got up, tidied the messy bed sheets, and went to the living room. I momentarily entertained the thought that maybe Eun-a was preparing breakfast, but Seo Eun-a was Seo Eun-a.

“…What are you doing there?”

The sight of Eun-a lying on the living room floor, hugging a pillow in some bizarre pose, was quite avant-garde. Naturally, there was no response. She was still asleep after all.

It was impossible for me to move her, so I grabbed a blanket and loosely covered her. Her expression looked odd; maybe she was dreaming something strange. Was she having a nightmare? Why was she like this here?

“Does she have somnambulism…?”

I should ask her about it later.

The appointment was at 11:30, and it was now 8:00. I still had three hours to spare. If I showered, had breakfast, and left, timing would work out just right.

After quickly washing up, I came back to the living room, and Eun-a was awake, staring at me with a blank expression.

“Ah… Did you sleep well?”

“For now. But why are you sleeping on the living room floor?”

“It’s not exactly somnambulism. It’s just a habit. When I wake up, I sometimes go sleep somewhere else. Sometimes that happens to be the floor.”

“…Is it really just a habit? Shouldn’t you see a doctor?”

“Well, I’m aware of it, so maybe that’s why? I don’t crawl into places with other people, so it’s fine.”

No matter how I looked at it, it seemed like somnambulism. But still, she said it wasn’t so I couldn’t say anything. At least she claimed she had some level of control over it.

“You looked weird. Were you dreaming something?”

“I dreamed that you were getting taller.”

“Do you know that’s a really disturbing thing to dream about?”

“Of course, I was joking. I don’t really remember what the dream was about. Just that I was wandering in an unfamiliar place.”

“Wandering, huh?”

“Isn’t that true for everyone?”

I thought so too. I was relieved to know I wasn’t the only one wandering.

“Go wash up; we need to have breakfast.”

“Okay.”

A little while later, Eun-a came out after washing up and discovered the breakfast I had prepared was waiting for her. It wasn’t exactly a great spread, just some side dishes from the fridge and a quick fried egg and some sausages I had made.

I’m not usually one to have breakfast regularly, but since Eun-a came, I’d been managing to make it work somehow. I couldn’t let her starve just because I wasn’t eating.

“Oppa, would you marry me?”

“Stop joking around and sit down.”

For the record, this kind of joking came out every time I prepared breakfast. Obviously, she wasn’t serious, but it was also a ridiculous attempt to lighten my mood. She just liked to tease me.

“You like men, though.”

“Of course. I’m heterosexual.”

“So why a marriage?”

“Since you’re originally a man, it might be safe.”

What is this ‘safe’? By the way, I just naturally treated Eun-a and myself as the same gender. There was no denying it now.

In the end, physical and social gender mattered. I was currently in a female body, and my resident registration number had changed to start with a 2. Legally, I couldn’t marry a woman.

Marriage wasn’t the completion of love, the end of love, or the conclusion of love. But it was certainly a form of validation to some extent. If I couldn’t get married, then that relationship would become one that wasn’t recognized by everyone.

But did love need the recognition of others?

Eun-a’s silly words made me think unnecessarily about a lot of things. I wondered if she had said that to provoke such thoughts in me. That would be quite an overinterpretation.

“I burnt the fried egg.”

“Just eat it.”

…Seriously.

~

After finishing breakfast, the time was showing 9:30. Now it was really time. My body started to naturally tense up and tremble. Soon, the doorbell rang, and Han-bom arrived. I had called her to prepare for what was coming.

“Good morning.”

“I’m not sure if it’ll be a good night.”

Han-bom quickly sensed my nervousness and took my hand. It seemed like she misunderstood something. My nervousness wasn’t due to Muk Ha-neul.

“It’s okay. Everything will be fine.”

“That’s not what I’m nervous about.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s about the clothes I’m going to wear soon.”

Han-bom smiled quietly as if she understood. The expression on her face felt like she was looking at a little kid, which annoyed me a little, but I couldn’t show irritation toward someone who came to help.

“I’ll put them on.”

I said that and headed to my room, with Eun-a following me.

“Why are you following me?”

“Since I picked out the clothes and coordinated them, I should have the right to see, don’t you think?”

“Stop talking nonsense and get out.”

“Cheh.”

After kicking out the pervert, I closed the door.

In front of me, on the bed, were the neatly arranged clothes I had chosen the day before.

I had picked out these clothes purposely for meeting Muk Ha-neul today. The coordination was entirely done by Han-bom and Eun-a. Most of the clothes were ones I had received from Eun-a before.

Now I was… going to wear a skirt.

I had never worn a skirt even once, except when I had my period. And now I was willingly trying to wear it. It felt like crossing a line, but it was no longer a big deal. There was nothing left inside me anyway.

It wasn’t just a matter of wearing a skirt and stopping there.

Now, I had a suitable thickness white dress to match the slightly warm weather, a thin brown sweater to wear over it, and a light cardigan to cover it for when it got chilly tonight.

Completely, fully, perfectly, it was women’s clothing.

I was a girl.

It felt a bit awkward, but it wasn’t to the degree where I needed someone’s help to put it on. It took less than five minutes to strip off my shirt and shorts and change into the new clothes. Although I was done, I couldn’t bring myself to leave and just stood there for a moment. A sigh slipped out. In the end, I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Wow!”

“Eek!”

Han-bom and Eun-a gasped in awe. Both of them had expressions of admiration. I wondered what it meant. I had an idea, but I wanted to pretend I didn’t.

“Is it weird?”

“No, it’s super cute.”

“Not a joke.”

Those were words that I couldn’t be happy about.

“Wait a second, come here. Let me fix your outfit a bit.”

I thought it was a bit silly, but I complied. Han-bom neatly adjusted my clothing and then took my hand, leading me to the vanity in front of the bathroom. It was time for the next step.

In the mirror of the vanity stood a white-haired girl with a blush on her cheeks, making a face that I didn’t recognize. It seemed she had already prepared everything, as several cosmetics were lying on the once-empty vanity.

“Close your eyes.”

Doing as Han-bom said, I closed my eyes. I felt gentle touches as she adjusted my eyebrows and applied something to my face. This sensation lasted quite some time, and only after what felt like an eternity did Han-bom give me the okay sign.

“All done!”

I opened my eyes. The mirror was looking back at me.

In front of me was the most beautiful girl in the world looking at me.

It was me.

…What was I thinking right now?

“Wow.”

“The base was cute, but with makeup, you look incredible. It’s just a light application.”

“Does a light application take that long?”

“It didn’t even take ten minutes.”

“That’s still a long time.”

Women are really something… Since I was surprisingly calm, I had a feeling Eun-a looked somewhat dissatisfied. I was actually quite surprised.

“You’re not reacting as much as I expected? You should be like ‘Whoa, is this me?’ at least.”

“I have seen this before, you know? When I appeared on a show. It was a bit different then, but I have some experience.”

“You missed the best part!”

What does she think when she looks at me? She’s a good kid, but it would be nice if she could go back to the cool, intelligent self she had when we first met. Did the stress of college life hit her that hard?

“…You look pretty.”

No matter how Eun-a reacted, that was the truth. I couldn’t deny it. In fact, the words beautiful would better suit the girl in the mirror than pretty or cute, but still, the girl looked beautiful enough.

“Not just pretty, but adorable. Super much.”

Maybe that’s why even Han-bom was being overly dramatic. If two people were doing that, I’d really be exhausted.

Fortunately, Han-bom stopped her antics there. Knowing where I was going, she probably didn’t want to tire me out even more.

“Can I take a picture?”

But seriously, Eun-a…

Looking at the clock, it was 10:00. A bit early, but I was ready to leave. It wasn’t because I thought I would eventually be teased by both of them if I stayed at home. I had things I needed to do in advance.

Finally, I tied my long hair into a loose ponytail. Eun-a put her bag over my shoulder, and I placed the black beret I had received from Hye-won on my head. It was obvious, but no hat could hide my hair. Instead, it emphasized it even more.

Taking one last look in the mirror.

The most beautiful girl in the world was dressed adorably and looking at me. My cheeks were still a bit flushed, and I couldn’t tell if it was from my face turning red or the makeup.

This was me.

But I wasn’t me today.

Going to meet Muk Ha-neul wouldn’t be me.

As I left without saying a word, I heard voices from behind.

“Have a good trip.”

“Be careful.”

Their concern was expressed in their well-wishes.

As I walked to the subway station, I could feel the stares around me. There were noticeably more people recognizing me than before. Once I boarded the subway, there were many people blatantly staring at me.

I didn’t care.

When I arrived at the station where I was to meet Muk Ha-neul, there was still an hour left until our appointment time.

I didn’t intend to wait around for Muk Ha-neul. Coming out early was partly to become accustomed to the gazes, but it was also because I had things to do.

I could have done it anywhere, but I decided to do it here, where I was meeting Muk Ha-neul.

Because what I was about to do today wasn’t just a date; it was a kind of ritual.

This outfit was like a uniform for the ceremony.

I called Hwa-won.

It didn’t take long for the call to connect.

[Didn’t I tell you not to answer, damn it.]

[Why would I?]

Hwa-won questioned with a tone as if she really didn’t understand. She probably knew everything already.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Yeah, this was Hwa-won.

[Why should I have to give up my ten years’ worth of teasing material when it’s just coming to me?]

[It ended a while ago.]

[Ah, too bad.]

[If you were in front of me right now, I would’ve kicked you in the shin.]

[That would have hurt a bit. Okay, I should be careful what I say. So what’s up? Did your period end, and you called just to tell me you’re happy?]

As always, Hwa-won asked directly. Even if she pretended otherwise, she might be worried there was some issue.

[It ended early, so I’m feeling good. I have something to tell you.]

[What is it?]

[I decided to date Muk Ha-neul.]

A moment of silence followed my bombshell announcement. Hwa-won seemed at a loss for words, not understanding what I was saying, as quite a long time passed before she finally spoke. But just as she was about to, I cut her off.

[So…]

[And today, I’m going to break up with her.]

[You crazy bastard.]

I was delighted.