Chapter 180

Eun-a decided to stay here for a few days as it was. Surprisingly, it wasn’t considered running away. No, it had turned into something else.

After I had completely calmed down, Eun-a left me with a warning not to let anyone casually open the door as if I were some kind of child, and then she returned home. She boldly obtained permission from Professor Seo to stay here.

“The professor allowed it.”

“I talked to my brother, and when I said I decided to give up on dropping out, he agreed right away. He said to drop by home later.”

“Ah, that’s a bit…”

While it was fortunate that permission had been granted, did she really have to use my name like that?

I hadn’t visited Professor Seo’s house even once this year. There hadn’t been any particular reason to stop by, so until now it had been fine, but receiving an invitation like this was indeed a bit troublesome. Professor Seo must have noticed that I was deliberately avoiding phone calls, so it was a problem that would inevitably arise someday.

“Why? Is something uncomfortable?”

“Not really.”

Still, there was no need to tell Eun-a about Seo Jae-Ah. After all, the two were family. I felt that bringing this up wouldn’t lead to anything good between them, and that could potentially create a bigger problem.

“Anyway, that’s what happened.”

“Then what, should I visit my dad at the university office? I don’t know what it’s about, but…”

Eun-a seemed to catch on to something, but she didn’t pry further. I felt a bit relieved and asked Eun-a.

“How long do you plan to stay?”

“I think it would be good for me to stay until this whole thing with you is resolved.”

“…Alright. Then let’s do that.”

I didn’t stop Eun-a. It was cowardly of me, but there was no other option. I didn’t want to be alone right now. I shouldn’t be alone. I wanted some sort of comfort, even from this kid. If it hadn’t been Eun-a, I would have held onto someone else.

Eun-a didn’t say something like, “I didn’t expect you to accept this so readily.” Maybe she understood my current state better than I did. So, she probably couldn’t say such things.

“Let’s just take it easy today. We can think about everything else later.”

“Okay.”

Yes, that’s what I should do. Even now, it felt like all the things that had happened until now were torturing me in my mind. Right now, I just wanted to forget it all.

So, I followed Eun-a’s advice and rested all day without doing anything. Eun-a also didn’t say much in particular, only chatting occasionally or walking a bit. We pushed all the complicated matters to later and spent time doing nothing.

It was the most enjoyable time because it was nothing. Just like the time we had spent together before with Mi-ra.

“Should I call Mi-ra?”

“…She probably wouldn’t want to see me.”

“Oh, what was it again? The meeting was supposed to last only until the college entrance exam results were announced, right?”

“Yes.”

“Honestly, it feels a bit foolish.”

As expected, Seo Eun-a was still Seo Eun-a.

“Why would you think like that? We’re not some childish kids in puberty, are we? Are we fools? Or maybe I’m just becoming one because I look like this now…”

“Right, maybe I am going through puberty.”

I said that a bit self-deprecatingly. It was half a joke, yet Eun-a fell silent as if she’d been struck by something. She must have expected my usual reaction, but I didn’t have the strength for that right now, and honestly, it didn’t seem completely wrong.

I hadn’t been this emotional even during my actual puberty. So, it meant that this state was not weird if I were to say I was going through puberty now. A time of turbulent emotions. Could it really have arrived?

Or maybe, it was just that my period wasn’t completely over, and my heart was bleeding.

After a moment of silence, Eun-a opened her mouth again. She stayed quiet while still talking. Was it that shocking? Was it hard to even speak? I briefly thought about that, but Eun-a was Eun-a. She betrayed my expectations and began teasing me.

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“Don’t grow any taller.”

“Are you crazy?”

Even so, I couldn’t keep a straight face with that kind of joke.

“When you hit puberty, secondary sexual characteristics develop! I’m against it! If you grow to 150 cm, I’ll sever our relationship! Sever it!”

I could tell that all of this was just her way of trying to lift my spirits. I understood, but still, this was a bit… No, no, this was just a bit too much…

“It’s annoying…”

“Ugh!”

In a way that was uncharacteristic of her, Eun-a let out a strange scream and slowly fell backward as if collapsing. When we first met, I never would have imagined she would act like this. It seemed that she only got a bit weird in front of me.

I hated this little body. I couldn’t help my gender now, but I wanted to grow at least to whatever height I could. It might have been impossible to grow as much as I used to, but maybe I could reach about 170 cm…? I had no idea if that was possible for this body, which was inherently slow to grow, let alone how long it would take.

“I have no intention of staying this short forever. I want to be at least 170 cm.”

“These days, short girls are quite popular.”

Where on earth? If that were true, then that place must be the hell of the human world. What good would it do if I were popular?

“Popularity? Who gives a damn? Should I become a celebrity or something?”

“If you became a celebrity, you’d get contacted immediately, you know? Don’t you still know the destructive power of your face? And you’re already an internet star.”

“Ugh, don’t mention that. I’m serious, I’ll get mad.”

“Look for it~ The secret to your heart, ah, don’t hit me! It hurts! It really hurts!”

“I hit you so you would feel the pain!”

Eun-a looked like she was genuinely in pain, but I hadn’t hit her that hard. It was merely within the range of a playful gesture. So, this too was more like a performance for me.

It had been a while since I’ve played like this. I wished Mi-ra was here, but still, this was enjoyable in its own right.

Anyway, even while joking around, it seemed I was smiling a little. Eun-a appeared more like a kid of her age rather than the mature person from earlier.

Perhaps I also looked like my age, at least for now. That thought crossed my mind, but I soon forgot it.

I had to become an adult soon.

~

“Honestly, I want to dissuade you.”

“You mean that you won’t?”

“You’ve already made up your mind, right? No matter what I say, it wouldn’t matter.”

The next day, I told Eun-a about the plan I had thought of. Eun-a was negative about my plan from the start, but she couldn’t stop me. In truth, it wasn’t that grand of a plan.

“I’m sorry, but I want to properly end this, even if it’s like this.”

“…What if you fail?”

“I’ll just try again.”

“Right, that mindset is good.”

After all this, I had climbed up from the bottom. I had that much guts. For someone from a bottom life, I had only one coin, but I didn’t have just one coin now.

The plan was to be executed over the weekend. I called Muk Ha-neul ahead of time. I suggested we meet on Saturday. Muk Ha-neul readily accepted. She didn’t seem to suspect anything, but it was hard to tell over the phone.

“Are you feeling good?”

“Do I look like it?”

“No.”

“Then I guess I’m not.”

I hung up. It really was uncertain whether I was feeling that way or not.

There were two days left until the promised day. There wasn’t anything specific to prepare. I just had to gather my thoughts. But during that time, Eun-a prepared something. It was the day before I was supposed to meet Muk Ha-neul.

“…Hello.”

“Why are you suddenly acting like we’re meeting for the first time?”

She woke up Han-bom, who had been sleeping soundly next door, and brought her along. Han-bom looked at me with a sullen expression. Eun-a had woken her and brought her here. There hadn’t been contact for a few days, and she seemed absent from home too. Moreover, since she was a fan of Muk Ha-neul, I had intentionally thought not to engage Han-bom in conversation.

Without hesitation, Eun-a introduced Han-bom to me.

“Where have you been?”

“Oh, I had some matters to attend to at my family home. But seriously, is something going on? The atmosphere seems a bit… odd?”

“Just listen for a moment, Miss.”

“If you call me that one more time, I swear I won’t let it slide.”

“Miss.”

“Hey!!”

For reference, Han-bom didn’t particularly like Seo Eun-a. The reason was as described above. No matter how you looked at it, it seemed that Han-bom couldn’t accept being called “Miss.” Given the age difference, it wasn’t necessarily an incorrect statement…

But honestly, if you just looked at their appearances, the age gap didn’t seem that significant. Aside from the chest.

By the way, thinking about it, was I about to become a “Miss” too soon? That thought was a bit unpleasant. I doubt anyone would dare to use the term “Miss” when looking at this face.

Anyway, upon hearing that I might leave, Han-bom responded to Eun-a’s call. In the meantime, I feels like I heard “Miss” at least five times. Han-bom counted that.

“Han-bom, senior.”

“…This feels really awkward, but is something going on?”

“I have something to tell you.”

Actually, the story I wanted to share wasn’t just about Muk Ha-neul. I couldn’t hide anything about Ham Yejin either. Since Han-bom was acquainted with Ham Yejin, I couldn’t explain in detail but I couldn’t hide it either.

And now, I was about to leave this house.

“I’m moving out.”

“Eh.”

“I don’t know when, but I’ll be vacating the room soon.”

“What… what’s going on for real?”

Seeing Han-bom panicking, I felt both afraid and sorry. Han-bom was a friend of Ham Yejin and a fan of Muk Ha-neul. I was leaving both of those people behind.

“Many things have happened.”

Unlike what I had told Eun-a, I couldn’t tell everything. At that time, my mind was not in a normal state, and I had spoken without realizing it all, but now I wasn’t in that state of mind. Right now, it wasn’t that serious.

Still, in the end, I was able to share all the important parts.

“Wait… please give me a moment to think.”

“Okay.”

Even so, this situation seemed disorienting for Han-bom too as she asked for a moment. I waited as she had asked, hoping she would speak. After walking around the living room for a while, Han-bom finally paused after about ten minutes.

“I’m ready.”

“Is that so?”

“First of all… I’ll say this.”

Han-bom wore a rather sad expression.

“Did you think I would oppose Seol-guk for such a trivial reason? Did you think I didn’t trust you?”

Unexpectedly, it seemed my story had hurt Han-bom.

“Yes, I’m a fan of the work called ‘Sky Mushroom’ by the writer Muk Ha-neul. But that doesn’t mean I would abandon Seol-guk and defend Muk Ha-neul. I am a friend of Seol-guk, not of that person, right?”

…That was incredibly reasonable. But the past me wasn’t in a rational state enough to make that judgment. And I had already been betrayed twice, and I wasn’t in a position where I could easily trust anyone.

“I’m sorry.”

However, regarding Muk Ha-neul’s story, what about Ham Yejin?

“I’m sorry. It seems I’ve become a fool, unable to trust anyone easily…”

“It may be a bit presumptuous, but I think of myself as a friend of yours. What about you, Seol-guk?”

“I think so too….”

I couldn’t give a definitive answer. Fortunately, Han-bom overlooked that. And then, she relayed a message that reminded me of memories from the past.

“If you don’t trust me, please remember this. I was a fan of the writer Seol-guk before I was a fan of Muk Ha-neul.”

Ah, right, I could believe that much. That was a fact I could be sure of, a truth I could trust. I had forgotten. Han-bom had been a fan of writer Seol-guk even before being a fan of writer Muk Ha-neul. At least I was sure that I had stolen Han-bom’s heart before Muk Ha-neul did.

“…I had forgotten.”

“That’s a bit harsh.”

This time it seemed Han-bom was genuinely hurt. It was clearly my fault. There was solid evidence for it. But even so, I found myself thinking, “What about Ham Yejin?” How pathetic it was that I hadn’t completely shaken off my doubts.

“Regarding Yejin, yes. It’s understandable if you doubt me. Though I’m not a friend of Muk Ha-neul, I am a friend of Yejin. But right now, I can say this clearly. I won’t take sides with anyone.”

“Why not?”

I had anticipated her siding with Ham Yejin or me, but I hadn’t expected this. Why not? Ham Yejin was your friend long before you met me.

“Because it’s a matter that has already ended. It’s unfortunate that it ended that way without my involvement, but there’s no help for things that have already happened. I can’t take sides in that matter. It’s meaningless. I’ll just say this.”

Han-bom told me.

“Don’t cry.”

Hearing that made me want to cry even more.