Chapter 155

Han-bom’s reason for coming wasn’t particularly impressive. She said there was something she wanted to say, but she forgot it and just came to eat snacks. When I told her I finished all of it, she complained that it was too much, so I kicked her out.

Even though Han-bom seemed cautious about Hwa-won until the end, I, the landlord, spoke decisively, and in the end, she had no choice.

Now it was just me and Hwa-won left. Hwa-won looked really tired, as if her mind was completely exhausted. It could be due to her hangover, though.

Well, I wasn’t exactly feeling completely normal either. After just one drink, the hangover was this bad; I think I should stop drinking moving forward, just like Hwa-won said.

“Why are you just taking out and wearing clothes without asking?”

“Then should I wear clothes that smell like booze?”

“I was just saying. I need to wash up too.”

“Go ahead. I think I’ll rest a bit and then head home. I’ll wash and return the clothes.”

“I can’t wear them anyway. Just take them.”

“You said you’d never throw them away before?”

“In this world, there’s nothing that’s absolute.”

A world where a man can become a woman.

“I want to soak my body a bit.”

“After drinking? Absolutely not. Just take a shower.”

“Is it really dangerous?”

“Someone who gets that drunk from one drink is dangerous no matter what they do.”

Taking Hwa-won’s advice to heart, I ultimately didn’t fill the bathtub. I decided to just take a quick shower. I tossed my clothes aside and went into the bathroom. My feeble naked body appeared without any thoughts. I lightly touched my chest.

…Hmm, is there nothing there?

Before, my breast size had increased a little, which annoyed me, so it must have grown. But I didn’t feel it at all. How did Hye-won figure that out? Is it the experience of a clothing store owner?

I didn’t particularly care, but it really is small.

As warm water poured over me, my head and body got wet. This temperature felt just right. I felt my mind slowly waking up. After the shower, I definitely felt better than before.

I dried my hair, changed back into my clothes, and came out to the living room, but Hwa-won was already gone. Had she gone home? I checked my phone, and her message confirmed she had left. She said she would rest a bit. Something must have happened. She told me not to worry since it wasn’t a big deal, and I replied that I understood.

I stretched out a bit, and as I entered my room, I noticed the lingering smell of alcohol that hadn’t completely disappeared. It seemed I would have to wash my blanket and pillow as the smell had soaked in. Washing the blanket was such a hassle, yet I couldn’t just complain and not do it.

I opened the window for ventilation and carelessly piled my laundry in front of the washing machine. I’ll do it later, later. Right now, I felt too lethargic to move.

I reflected on the events of yesterday and today. It truly was ridiculous. The fact that it was somewhat enjoyable made me laugh at my foolishness. I think I had a good dream last night.

By the way, why did I even drink? I can, but the timing was a bit awkward. What were we talking about before?

That Hwa-won and her father’s promise period was less than six months left, that she would try her best in the future, and…

Hwa-won’s fiancée.

Suddenly, I felt bad again. I didn’t even know why. Did Hwa-won say that? That I resembled that fiancée of hers a bit? It wasn’t a particularly upsetting thing to say, yet it made me feel off.

I often struggled with emotional control or had sudden mood swings, but that was mostly only during my period. This was certainly not that time.

I messaged Hwa-won, asking if she remembered what we talked about yesterday.

[I vaguely remember, but not well.]

[Did we talk about Yoo Seol-rin too? I don’t quite remember.]

[You didn’t do the ‘Seol-rin~’ like yesterday.]

[Did I say that?]

[It sounds like you’re in the honeymoon phase, doesn’t it?]

[That’s nonsense. It’s just because of the situation.]

[For someone in that situation, you haven’t met a lot of girls recently.]

[Actually, I have.]

…What?

[It’s called a fiancée, but it’s not like I’m married, so why should I just sit still? I just don’t make it obvious; I still go out and do stuff.]

[You idiot.]

Right… this was him. It was foolish of me to believe that this guy would restrain himself because he has a fiancée. He wouldn’t just sit still with that hanging over him.

And for some reason, I felt good again… I think? I felt a little better, but it didn’t seem like I was in the positives. I still felt bad, albeit in a slightly different way. Thankfully, it was better than before, though I had no idea why.

After finishing the conversation with Hwa-won, I roughly spread a new blanket over the mattress and lay down. Ah, this feels good. Lying down like this is comfy.

Should I just fall asleep again? It’s almost lunchtime; maybe I should take a nap. Be a bad kid for a bit.

I’m being foolish, really.

But when I regained consciousness, my eyes were already closed again.

I likely wouldn’t drink again, so it wouldn’t be easy to feel like this again. The taste was bitter, my head hurt, I felt dizzy, and I acted foolishly, but I think I felt good too.

It was time to say goodbye to alcohol.

Adieu, forever farewell.

Let’s not meet again, absinthe-colored world.

~

I fully regained my senses when I woke from my second sleep; it was around dinner time. I hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast or lunch, and now it was dinner. However, it wasn’t particularly important. Right now, I felt a little like I wanted to kick the blanket off, so that was a minor issue.

My memories were clear about what I had talked about when I was drunk.

At that time, I thought I was almost normal, but I clearly wasn’t. The embarrassment of being in just my underwear had long passed, and now it wasn’t embarrassing, right? It sounded good. I wasn’t embarrassed back then.

Now, I felt embarrassed.

To be exact, I felt a bit humiliated.

I had fallen asleep in Hwa-won’s arms in just my white cotton panties, and the fact that Hwa-won and Han-bom had seen me in that state made me uneasy.

What on earth did they think when they saw me? They must have fought, of course; that was expected after witnessing something like that.

When I rang the bell, a girl in her panties, completely out of it from alcohol, opened the door, and soon after, a man who had just come out of the bathroom appeared. It was all too easy to understand what kind of thoughts they must have had and why they got into a fight.

Ahh.

Still, while we were together, I was completely drunk, and it was a blessing that neither was around when I came to my senses.

As time went on, my feelings lessened, so it wasn’t so mortifying that I wanted to die. Now, I had no choice but to just push forward, as I said previously.

I told myself that I didn’t care about any of that and hypnotized myself.

Habitually, I turned on the TV in the living room and took out the leftover food from yesterday to heat it up. I had to finish this all. Even though I didn’t particularly enjoy watching TV, the reason I bought one was predominantly because I got bored just sitting around, but that wasn’t all of it.

I needed sound.

When alone, this place was too quiet, and sometimes I felt unbearably lonely. At those moments, having some noise made that feeling a bit more bearable. It was quite important, so I often turned on the TV even if I had nothing to watch.

In fact, if I called Han-bom from next door, she would come, but she was a working person who wasn’t always around, and if I called her just because I felt lonely, it made me feel like I had lost, and I didn’t like that.

Now that I think about it, Hwa-won hadn’t actually come to my house at all, yet this was the first time I met Han-bom. I hadn’t deliberately avoided meeting her; it just so happened that our paths didn’t cross, which was a bit surprising.

Speaking of which, Han-bom hadn’t brought Park Chan-wook to her house yet.

Since that time, I had only met Park Chan-wook once for police questioning, and we had just exchanged brief greetings then. Fortunately, it ended well, so there were no issues for Park Chan-wook.

Since quite some time had passed, I probably wouldn’t be too bothered meeting him now. While I did think it might feel awkward, if Han-bom brought him, I would at least greet him. Considering everything that had happened, a get-together afterward wouldn’t be a bad idea.

After finishing my meal, I sat on the sofa with the TV on and watched YouTube on my phone. I don’t know why I was watching YouTube while the TV was on. I might have needed some background noise. The sounds of people living.

With the time freed up from publishing the book, the time I spent looking at my smartphone gradually increased. While it wasn’t to the level of addiction, I was clearly getting used to the convenience of it over time. They say books are best enjoyed on paper, but the convenience of ebooks was a hard advantage to give up.

There had been suggestions from the publisher about starting something on social media, but I had also refrained from that up until now. The things I’d seen so far had been too shocking for me to even consider.

In the end, due to the publisher’s urging, I did end up with an official account on a famous social media platform, but since I didn’t manage it myself, it was unrelated to me. I didn’t even know the ID and password; I just received related news that the publisher posted occasionally.

I usually didn’t pay much attention to it, but there were times I’d check comments when I went in. Fortunately, most of the problematic comments seemed to have been managed and cut out by the administrator, but I couldn’t stop the idiots asking for my photos or songs.

Then suddenly, my phone rang. It was Han-bom. I couldn’t understand why this person would choose to call. She had so many ways to utilize the greatest invention in history: text messaging.

“Hello.”

“Ah! Seol-guk! I remembered what I wanted to tell you earlier.”

“What is it?”

“I think Chan-wook will come to my house next weekend. You told me to let you know.”

I guess he really is no gentleman; it seems he heard my brief thoughts earlier. Anyway, Han-bom, you ended up remembering to tell me after all. Honestly, I thought she would forget, so I was half-expecting it. Well done.

“Thanks for letting me know.”

“What do you plan to do? We’ll be at home anyway.”

“I wasn’t originally planning to meet, but now it feels like it won’t matter much. You can let him know. Let’s just greet each other.”

“…Really?”

“Why do you sound like you don’t believe me?”

“No, it’s just that I feel a little sad about how I was really dismissive while telling you Chan-wook is coming.”

What are you even talking about?

“Ah, you can do whatever you want at night. I’ll just be there to greet him, and it’s not like the house is right next door, so I won’t hear anything.”

“Please don’t say such things with that voice! It’s gross, gross!”

“I’m the official one.”

“That’s just what the official decided on a whim!”

I roughly ended the call with a screaming Han-bom and looked out the window. I couldn’t see the stars, only the lights of the city stood out.

The middle of March has already passed. In just two weeks, a quarter of the year will be gone. Last year felt like time moved too slowly, while this year felt like it was flying by. Still, I wasn’t anxious. Time wouldn’t come faster than it is now.

Yet, perhaps someone is winding the clock.

Like a clock rabbit or gray gentlemen?

But then again, the latter is a little off. I was feeling happy right now, and in the world of the gray gentlemen, that wouldn’t be possible.

Any time like this would be welcomed.

However, I had to remember.

The truth that time flows.

I wasn’t me anymore, but time still flowed at a steady pace, one second at a time.