Chapter 152

Hwa-won seemed quite drunk, starting to lose coherence in his speech and his tongue was slipping. He began to bring up stories that weren’t even prompted.

“Speaking of which, I showed it to that, uh, guy. Um…”

“Who?”

“Chloe. Um, well, my fiancée I mentioned before. Seollin.”

“Does she have two names?”

Had he gotten close enough to her for that? The way he spoke was softer than I expected. Moreover, the name Seollin somehow seemed a bit more familiar. It was the same as him referring to other girls by their names, but still.

“Uh, yeah. Um, her English name is Chloe. Her Korean name is Yoo Seol-rin.”

“That’s complicated. So you showed her your writing?”

He had always said he wouldn’t show it to anyone until he succeeded in the contest. Of course, this was tied to Hwa-won’s inner insecurities and pride, so it was understandable in that sense. At least he wouldn’t have shown it to me.

But still, he didn’t need to mention it to me. He must have been really drunk to bring up something he’d never say when sober.

“She said it was good. Well, what does a kid know anyway?”

“I guess she liked it? You seem to be speaking about her fondly. You used to call her foolish and naive.”

I teased Hwa-won, half-smiling. It wasn’t something I made up; it was something he had said himself before.

“No, no, liking it? Totally not. She’s completely weird, you know? Always trying to talk to me, saying strange things, following me around in America… I can’t touch her, can’t do anything reckless; it’s a real problem.”

Scary, Gang Hwa-won. Listening to him, it was clear that he had already succumbed. It didn’t sound like he was truly struggling as he spoke. Somehow, Hwa-won might have opened his heart a little to this girl named Seollin.

“Still… I just can’t bring myself to hate her…”

That wasn’t particularly an issue for me. Why would it be a problem for a friend to get along with his fiancée? It was actually a good thing. After all, she was someone he might marry.

“I wonder why…”

Besides, the guy who usually couldn’t even deal with girls didn’t seem to be dating anyone lately. Maybe he was holding back on his own. I didn’t know what kind of girl this Seollin was, but from what Hwa-won was saying, she didn’t seem like a bad person, right? If Hwa-won was holding back, maybe she was okay? That thought crossed my mind.

Before, I would have simply disliked her for being a girl, but now I could think this way. If this growth, then it is growth. The previous me would have called this regressing, but I want to say now that it’s just a different direction.

And then,

“Ah, I get it.”

My thoughts were shattered by Hwa-won’s next words.

“That girl… somehow resembles you.”

Suddenly, I felt very uncomfortable.

~

While I hadn’t noticed, Hwa-won had already downed two bottles of soju. The moment I realized this, I quickly took the bottle away from him, but it was too late. Hwa-won was completely drunk.

He seemed disappointed, but fortunately, he didn’t resist. The smell of alcohol was overwhelming, and I realized that it was my fault for not noticing sooner. If it weren’t for the sudden bad mood, I could have spotted it easily.

“Hey, you’re really drunk. Go lie down on the bed.”

“Ah, uh… yeah, the bed, the bed sounds good. Did you buy the bed?”

“You lay down the last time you drank too much. Get up! Hey! Don’t fall asleep here!”

I forced Hwa-won, who was trying to sleep on the table, to stay awake. There was a little selfishness in it, but after all, Hwa-won wouldn’t remember this event, and factually it wouldn’t hurt him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m awake. I’m awake.”

His pronunciation was a bit slurred, but I could understand him. Hwa-won staggered as he tried to get up. I supported him so he could follow my lead.

It was really hard.

This guy was really heavy and swayed a lot. If I wasn’t careful, he might fall over. If he fell toward me, I could be pressed down under him. I felt the terror of life as I slowly made my way to my bed.

Fortunately, I managed to guide Hwa-won to the bed. The problem was that this was as far as it went.

As I sighed in relief, trying to lay him down, Hwa-won, who had been holding up well, suddenly collapsed onto the bed. It was fortunate that it was a bed, but the fact that I got knocked over with him was a problem.

“Hey! Let go!”

Somehow, I ended up pinned against Hwa-won’s chest. He was holding tightly onto my clothing, so I couldn’t easily get up. The smell of alcohol was overwhelming. Ugh.

I shook Hwa-won’s hand to try to get him to let go, but it seemed he had already fallen asleep as he began to snore. He wasn’t letting up his grip at all.

“Ah, you crazy bastard, really.”

Even if I cursed him, he wouldn’t hear. Hwa-won showed no signs of loosening his grasp. Now he started mumbling something. It was sleep talking.

“Ah…”

Ignoring what he was saying, I struggled to break free, but the more I fought, the stronger his grip seemed to get. Eventually, I was the one who got exhausted first.

“This is ridiculous, really.”

Frustrated, I wondered what was going on. It seemed foolish to be wrestling with a drunk person, but I couldn’t just do nothing. I pinched, hit, and bit Hwa-won’s hand. The effects were minimal.

Being pinned to Hwa-won’s chest, I felt like I might get drunk too from the smell.

Then, Hwa-won’s mumblings became somewhat coherent.

“…Sorry.”

“Yeah, looks like you know how to apologize?”

I muttered sarcastically, but I certainly knew this wasn’t a conversation. There was obviously no way a next remark would follow. It seemed foolish, really.

But Hwa-won’s sleep talk continued. And among those words, something I never expected came out. No one could have predicted it, except for me.

“Sorry… I’m sorry. Mom.”

… I briefly stopped my struggles. I relaxed and found myself nestled into Hwa-won’s embrace.

The scene resembled two overlapping fetuses.

~

After quite a while being caught in Hwa-won’s grip, I finally managed to slip away. It wasn’t by my own strength. Hwa-won let go of his grip, mumbling in his sleep and changed positions, allowing me to escape naturally.

Now, I tried to ignore the overwhelming smell of alcohol reaching me and looked at Hwa-won’s face as he slept soundly. What was that sleep talk all about? Hwa-won’s face looked so peaceful that it was hard to believe he had said those things.

Hwa-won hadn’t shared everything about his family matters with me. I thought he had completely shaken everything off. And maybe that wasn’t an entirely wrong assumption. However, to say he had shaken everything off didn’t mean nothing was left inside him.

There might still be something left in Hwa-won.

I sighed, once more letting out a breath. I covered him with a blanket and stepped outside. It was time to tidy up the dining table that I hadn’t managed to attend to because of the sudden trouble.

I packed up the leftover food haphazardly for storage, threw away anything that seemed too troublesome to save, and cleaned the dining table neatly. I gathered Hwa-won’s empty soju bottles. He had drunk over four bottles. There was only a sip left in the fifth bottle. I should have stopped him sooner.

He would definitely have a hard time when he woke up.

I threw all but one bottle that still had a bit of soju in it into the recycling bin. Tidying was completely done. Should I store this in the refrigerator?

The liquid sloshing inside the soju bottle caught my eye. It moved with a soft clink.

…Suddenly I had a bad thought.

As I said, I wasn’t particularly fond of drinking. So even after getting this body, I hadn’t complained about it in that direction.

But since I hadn’t drunk for over six months, strangely, I found myself thinking that I wanted just a little, really just a little, to drink. Soju didn’t taste good anyway, so I didn’t understand why I was thinking that. But somehow, I couldn’t resist it.

Perhaps while nestled in Hwa-won’s arms, I had gotten intoxicated by his scent of alcohol.

“Really, I only left one glass.”

In this perfectly aligned situation, without realizing it, I took out Hwa-won’s glass that I had put in the sink earlier. After rinsing it once with water, I poured in some soju. Exactly one glass; I gulped it down. I had gone to throw the bottle away first. I wouldn’t get drunk from just one glass, but just in case.

What remained in front of me was just one glass of soju. Just one glass.

Hmm, wouldn’t I need some snacks to go with this?

What snacks could I possibly have while drinking one glass? I had eaten to my heart’s content up until just now!

But it felt important to adhere to the mood and formality. Bringing out what I had eaten earlier seemed a bit wrong, so I rummaged through the refrigerator and found some leftover snacks Han-bom had left. Why had she left these at my house instead of her own?

Anyway, they were at my house, which made them mine. The person who left them wouldn’t complain about it, right? I took out the slightly remaining snacks and munched on one as if it were dessert. Not bad, this.

Now I was ready to go. No barriers remained to stop me. I could hear Hwa-won snoring loudly from my room, but I didn’t care. He usually didn’t snore this loudly. He must have eaten a lot.

I took a solemn posture as if performing a ritual and held the soju glass in both hands.

Then, feeling as if I was about to commit a sin, I looked around nervously, steadied my trembling hands, and brought the glass to my lips.

And just like that, I downed one shot of soju.

The sensation was…

…horrible.

Damn, it tastes terrible. What was I thinking to drink this? I felt foolish. Really.

Somehow, my head started to spin. I saw the snacks in front of me. I absentmindedly grabbed one and ate it. Then, getting up to tidy away the soju glass, my legs gave way, and I collapsed.

I couldn’t muster the strength in my body. I felt like I should be doing something… but I couldn’t remember clearly.

But what… was it really that important? What was it? I couldn’t recall. Then it must not be significant. Thinking like that, I suddenly regained strength, standing up.

My body swayed as I stumbled around the living room, and then I headed somewhere. I had no will in the matter, but it wasn’t a significant issue. It wasn’t something I needed to worry about.

I headed somewhere and collapsed.

And from there, my memory snapped off.