Chapter 134

The time after finishing the bossam was when the conversation ended.

More than half of it was eaten by Jae-Ah, and it was actually ambiguous to say that. The amount of bossam was much less than it looked.

If I thought this way with my significantly reduced appetite, it meant it was indeed very little. It was for two people, but Jae-Ah and I, who didn’t eat enough for one person each, ended up finishing it all. The price was quite expensive, though.

Anyway, it wasn’t something I bought. Jae-Ah paid for it, but she also cleared the table. Of course, this is my house, buddy.

Since the time sitting across the table ended, the conversation naturally faded away. In the past, Jae-Ah would have chatted incessantly, but now wasn’t that kind of situation. The initial expression she had like when she talked about the event earlier was the first time I saw her since she moved in here.

Glancing out the window, I saw Jae-Ah lying on the sofa after everything was cleared away. I didn’t intend to nag her, but lying down right after eating was a bit annoying.

I searched for the event Jae-Ah mentioned on my computer. I had only heard a bit about it but remembered the name of the event.

It didn’t seem like a particularly strange event. It seemed to be held every year and was a place selling secondary creations and goods from various works. It also had various events alongside.

Surprisingly, it really didn’t spark any interest at all. It seemed like they sold fan works and goods from the comics I liked as Jae-Ah mentioned, but secondary creations, in the end, were still secondary. It’s hard to find works that surpass the original, and fundamentally, those works aren’t created for that purpose.

That place exists simply as a world created from pure fan sentiment.

It was fascinating.

The concept of secondary creation is almost nonexistent in the kind of prose literature I usually write.

Both are fundamentally different. Even if they talk about the same theme, the methods are different, and even if they tell the same story, the focus is different.

Prose literature ultimately contains philosophy, and philosophy is a study that researches living itself. So we put thought, questions, and enlightenment into our writing.

In other words, prose literature is neither writing for stories nor for characters.

On the other hand, subculture is made for the sake of stories and characters. The vectors can all be different, but in the end, what they express is love. Love, friendship, courage, whatever you want to call it. What goes into this is neither thought, nor questions, nor enlightenment. It’s happiness.

Happiness,

That is pleasure.

The two are entirely the same concept and simultaneously entirely different concepts. You can achieve immense pleasure from drugs, but ordinary people don’t call that happiness. However, for drug addicts, they are happiest in that moment when they are on drugs.

Subculture has no side effects, is non-addictive, and provides free happiness. It is the most perfect and happiest drug in the world.

In prose, we debate, teach, and learn. That is direction. Where do we come from, and where do we go? For the ultimate question, not for the answer.

In subculture, we enjoy relaxation. We fight together, conflict, reconcile, hate, and take breaks. It’s all about having fun together. That is rest.

It’s impossible to keep going without a break. All of us need that to live. The metaphor of fuel for a car is clichéd and not quite right.

In childhood, we all waited for the moment the teacher would end the class, and once it finished, we gathered with friends to play during that short but long little break we looked forward to.

That was the essence of subculture.

However, my school life breaks were always empty. I never had anything enjoyable, nor did I look forward to them.

A sigh escaped me. I checked the schedule, location, and entry fee for the event that came up in the search results. It opens in the morning. It’s not that far.

Habitually, I fiddled with my long white hair. I raised my hand to touch the swollen bruise on my arm. It had gone down quite a bit. It didn’t seem like there was a significant problem anymore. I didn’t feel pain even when I touched it.

I called out to Seo Jae-Ah, who was lying on the sofa and fiddling with her phone.

“Hey.”

“Why?”

“There’s a condition.”

“Excuse me?”

I was slightly annoyed by the expression she made as if to say, “What nonsense is this all of a sudden?”

“You’ve been here for three days now, and I’ll give you exactly one week. So go home in four days. I said home. I won’t accept you living anywhere else. Whether it’s life or death, go back home and see it through in your own way. I won’t let you stay next time. That’s the condition.”

“What the hell… I mean, what are you talking about?”

“Damn, you were about to say bullshit, weren’t you?”

“No, no way.”

“Okay, if you keep this condition, I’ll let you go. To that event or whatever.”

“Huh?”

“So, it’s a deal?”

“What happens if I fold?”

Is she still not fully awake? She has definitely been a bit dazed since earlier.

“Do you want to die?”

“Alright, I’ll do it! Deal! Deal!”

“Then you’re going home in four days. Okay?”

“Okay…?”

Why is she trailing off?

“Why did your thoughts change all of a sudden?”

“I’m just going for study purposes. I don’t really know the concept of secondary creations. Plus, it’s a way to kick you out too.”

“Isn’t the second one the real goal?”

“If you know, just go out.”

Tsk. Anyway, the kid who was blankly following the hastily developed story suddenly became cheerful and started chattering.

“Wow! We really are going, right? No backing out, right? If you change your mind suddenly now, I’ll be stuck here for life?”

“No backing out. And if that happens, I’ll really kick you out.”

“Anyway, if we’re really going, go to bed early! I need to get up early tomorrow.”

“It’s nearby, though?”

“There’ll be people lined up, and if we go late, we’ll have to wait for a few hours.”

What kind of nonsense is this? It’s winter right now?

“If we go early in the morning, it should only take an hour or two, right?”

“Hold on. Hey, can’t there be any backing out?”

“You said there’s no backing out!”

“No, are you crazy, telling me to stand outside for two hours in this weather?”

“It’s okay. You can stand in line indoors, and they’ll set up tents outside.”

“I’m feeling uneasy.”

It was already said, so there was no recanting. I even said there’s no backing out. I could insist on not going now, but my pride wouldn’t allow it.

“Ugh.”

“I’ll send you a list of the booths over there, so take a look before you sleep and see if there’s any comic booth that interests you. You should at least be able to enjoy it if we go together.”

“It’d be most fun not to go at all.”

I wasn’t particularly interested, but I nodded anyway. I could just think of it as spending a day with her. I didn’t expect any particular issues would arise, and it would probably just be a few hours of walking around before it ended. I sat at the kitchen table and skimmed through the list of booths Jae-Ah sent. There wasn’t anything that particularly caught my interest. However…

“Hey, what’s this?”

“What’s wrong?”

“…What’s an adult booth? You’re still a minor.”

“It’s okay, they have a separate section for that. They check IDs.”

“Well, then it might not matter.”

Could they really sell stuff like this in Korea? The overtly explicit level and crude lines in the illustrations were a bit uncomfortable, but since I wouldn’t actually go in that direction… No one would let me in looking like this anyway. Checking IDs? Are they out of their minds?

“Oh, by the way, do you want to try cosplaying or something?”

“Do you really want to get hit?”

“Calm down. Just kidding, just kidding.”

“Making those costumes takes a lot of time anyway.”

“There are places that sell pre-made ones, and there are rental shops around as well. If it’s your size, there should be something that fits.”

“I’m not doing it, so be quiet now.”

…

“Not going to answer?”

“You told me to be quiet.”

I really want to hit her.

“But people might think you’re just cosplaying if you go there.”

“Why?”

“Your hair color….”

True, it isn’t an ordinary color. It doesn’t matter in a comic or animation context. They might not even recognize me if I were just there with my bare face. Although I wouldn’t actually look like that since my hair would be covered with a hat.

I definitely wasn’t the type to go out often, but it suddenly became a necessity to go out. I wasn’t particularly eager to go out, even though it was to send Jae-Ah back. But it’s just four days. In four days, Jae-Ah will go home, and this farce will end.

Above all, there was one more thing I hadn’t told Jae-Ah yet.

No matter who she is or what thoughts she has, regardless of what conclusion she comes to when she goes home,

The tutoring is over.

And this connection will end.

It was a conclusion I reached after deep consideration. So this was the last favor I could give as someone who had taught Jae-Ah for a time.

Whether Jae-Ah wanted to be a woman, was gay, or just a simple cross-dresser, I no longer wanted to be close to her. No matter what kind of being she is, she would undoubtedly remind me of something unpleasant.

She was too young to continue going on as things were, and I was too old.

I wasn’t a writer who simply wrote the clearly visible conclusion.

I twirled my pen. The conclusion indicated by the rotating pen is something no one knows yet.