Chapter 118

Im Mi-ra.

The high school girl who helped me.

When I was probably being threatened by the people Lee Cheon sent, she was the one who called the police to help.

In fact, I knew nothing about this girl. The police only told me her name, and I haven’t seen her since then. I didn’t even know which year she was in. The fact that I mentioned the college entrance exam was simply a guess.

The time she saved me was even earlier in the morning than now. And now it was morning, quite a bit later than then. In other words, it was the relatively normal time for a high school student to go to school.

Before the college entrance exam, students would go to school much earlier, and after it was over, they would attend at a relatively normal time. It was a lifestyle pattern that could only be thought of as having just taken the exam.

The problem was that the topic I brought up had triggered something in her. And it wasn’t difficult to realize the reason for her weeping. In fact, anyone with common sense would know.

It’s ruined.

The significance of the college entrance exam in this country is immense. Even if I passed it as an adult, it would not be something small, but in childhood, the exam felt enormous, almost like all of life.

I entered university by passing the National Literature and Practical exams, and the entrance exam itself was just a minimum score for me, but this girl probably didn’t have such luck. Just the fact that she was going to school so early in the morning was enough to guess that.

She must have worked incredibly hard. But that effort went unrewarded.

So, she had no choice but to cry in front of a person she hardly knew.

It was due to my thoughtless question. Why did I bring up such a story? In this situation, outside in the cold, I couldn’t just say goodbye and leave her alone to return home.

That was why I was here at home with a high school girl.

I didn’t really know why I made such a choice. It was something I would never have done before. If it weren’t for this situation, she wouldn’t even have been a person I had any connection with, so thinking about that doesn’t hold much meaning.

Initially, that kind of behavior would have been something I should never have done. Back then, I was an adult male, and she was a minor girl, so if I had done something like this at that time, it would have been a confirmed crime regardless of my intentions.

Fortunately, the me of now was in a weak body incapable of such things. No one would call this scene a crime. It would just be ridiculous to consider it a crime.

Embarrassed, I asked if she wanted to have some coffee. Mi-ra didn’t respond, but she nodded and followed me obediently. She was still crying until I seated her at the table, after which she began to sniffle, trying to calm herself.

I filled the coffee pot with water. This was the first time I had used the coffee pot I received from Ham Yejin to actually brew coffee. Ah, did I use it when Muk Ha-neul came? I didn’t mention that it was a gift from Ham Yejin just in case.

The water boiled. By chance, I mixed some instant coffee I had at home and handed it to Mi-ra, who was gradually showing signs of calming down. By that time, Mi-ra had already removed her hat, gloves, earmuffs, and scarf, and unzipped the front of her long padded coat. Though I had brought her here, it was more comfortable than I expected.

Mi-ra took the coffee I handed her without a word, blowing on it before taking a sip. I sat across from her, feeling guilty and anxiously observing her.

After all, this was my home.

“…I’m sorry.”

After finishing her coffee, Mi-ra finally said something coherent for the first time, apologizing for suddenly crying. But thinking that the one who made her cry was me, I couldn’t just remain silent.

“Uh, I’m sorry too for bringing up such a strange topic.”

I had almost spoken casually like before but somehow shifted to formal speech. In fact, since we weren’t really acquainted, it wasn’t very polite to speak informally first just because she was younger.

“You can speak comfortably. You’re 27, right?”

Fortunately, Mi-ra told me to speak freely without worrying about it. By the way, 27…

Ah, she must have already known. My background was almost public knowledge, and given what happened, she probably looked me up online even if she didn’t know before.

Still, hearing such direct comments about myself from someone I barely knew felt a bit strange.

“You were surprised when I suddenly cried. I didn’t mean to do that either.”

“…I was a bit surprised.”

“You asked if I did well in the college entrance exam.”

“…You don’t need to worry about that.”

“I messed it up.”

I could clearly see that the topic I had chosen was the worst one. Without giving me a chance to interrupt, Mi-ra’s face hardened and began to lament. And even if I could have interrupted, I probably wouldn’t have.

“I completely, totally failed. I woke up on the day of the exam feeling like my head was going to explode. Honestly, I realized from that moment, oh, I’m screwed. But I couldn’t just sit there, so I crawled all the way to the exam hall, and obviously, I couldn’t take the exam normally in that state. I endured somehow until the end, but in the end, I collapsed and got taken to the hospital. They said it was the flu, and it felt terribly unfair. I had even gotten the vaccine.”

…Was it similar to what I had before? If it was such pain, then taking the exam normally would have been nearly impossible. It wasn’t just that she lacked ability; if that was the situation, her sobs were entirely understandable.

“I don’t even remember if I submitted the OMR card correctly, and when I came to, everything was over. Just, everything was over.”

Mi-ra paused for a moment and took a sip of her coffee.

“At that time, I didn’t really feel it. It felt like a dream. Just a terrible nightmare. I kept wondering when I would wake up until today, but then I saw it.”

The white girl I was looking at.

“I don’t know what to call you. Saying you or Mr. sounds rude. What about calling you older brother? No, that would be weird.”

“…Just call me older brother.”

Even if that was a strange way to refer to me, it was preferable. I didn’t want to be called Mr.

“Anyway, I saw it, you or something like that. Until then, it felt like a dream. Honestly, even before, and earlier too, it feels a bit awkward now. It’s not the kind of hair color you see in reality? And it’s snowing now, so it doesn’t feel real. That’s why I couldn’t step forward.”

Light snow was falling slowly. Tiny flakes that were hardly worth taking an umbrella for. I was getting hit by it while taking out the trash.

“But when that girl, yeah, I mean when you brought up the college entrance exam, suddenly it felt like reality was coming back really quickly. It was like Alice returning from Wonderland or Dorothy returning from Oz? Even Wendy returning from Neverland wouldn’t be bad. It dawned on me that everything was not a dream but was reality, and it was all over.”

Did she like fairy tales? The names she used in her comparison were all quite familiar. That phrase about it all being over felt really unfortunate.

“…I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. It was only a matter of time before I realized it.”

Should I say something comforting? She was the one who saved me. I owed her a debt, and saying something comforting was just basic courtesy towards a benefactor. Yet, I had no idea what to say to actually comfort her.

Saying it’s not the end wouldn’t truly comfort her.

A child’s world is small. What may be trivial in our world could be too big and overwhelming in theirs.

In such a situation, there was no way children would accept an adult saying that it’s a small matter.

I was like that too.

“I just…feel lost. I can’t afford to retake the exam.”

Perhaps she still felt that way.

I couldn’t say anything to Mi-ra’s lament. The world isn’t a fairy tale.

I wasn’t someone who could listen to her worries like a wizard from a fairytale. I had no pumpkin carriage or glass slippers.

I was just a rabbit.

Whether that was the March Hare or the White Rabbit.

~

“Thank you for listening. Just being able to express all this is refreshing.”

“Ah, yeah…”

“I enjoyed the coffee. And about that earlier incident, you don’t have to worry about it. I didn’t really do anything, it was just good luck that a patrol car was nearby.”

No matter what I said or what coincidences occurred, it was a fact that Mi-ra had saved me.

How nice it would have been if the person who said not to worry could simply let it go. This was close to the realm of pride and obsession. I couldn’t let go of someone indebted to me. Even if I was still the same person as before or even if the other person was someone I despised, it didn’t matter.

I couldn’t live indebted. Someone helping me was like buying help on credit. The price had to be paid later. There was always just one exception.

Mi-ra zipped up the front of her long padded coat. It was a gesture that she was going to leave this house soon. Well, a lot of time had passed. The school time had long since passed.

“Should I just skip school? There’s probably not much to do anyway.”

However, it seemed Mi-ra didn’t really intend to go to school, as she muttered that openly in front of me. Well, it wasn’t an odd thing to say. Expecting a normal school day from a senior who just finished the college entrance exam was rather strange. As she packed up her belongings and stood up, she suddenly turned to look at me and said.

“By the way, you’re a bit different than I heard.”

“What do you mean?”

“Older brother… oh, this is so awkward. Anyway, I mean you’re different from the image I had. When I looked you up, you seemed really aggressive and had a bad personality.”

“That’s not entirely wrong.”

Well, my image had changed a bit since appearing on that show, but that didn’t erase the things I had done.

“I think it’s wrong, as far as I can see.”

So Mi-ra’s words made me reflect on myself. …Yeah, people are meant to change.

I wasn’t blind enough to deny that I had changed. Even so, I couldn’t tell if this change was in the right direction or what the right direction even was. The person I was before was certainly twisted. But that was me.

Now I felt like I had straightened out a little.

As for whether I was better, I didn’t know.

“…If you ever have anything else you want to say, you can come back again.”

Perhaps that’s why I said such a thing. Had I become too open?

Mi-ra smiled slightly, her face still marked with tears.

Well, that’s just how life goes.