Chapter 79

“I met my father when I was nine years old. Until then, my mother had raised me alone. I didn’t know why my mother and father were apart. But when my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, she took me to my father. Soon after, my mother passed away from the illness.”

…A familiar story was spilling from her lips.

“My father never registered me under his household, nor did he live with me. He didn’t even let anyone else know of my existence. I ended up living with a housekeeper hired by my father in a remote countryside house, and he would only visit me once a week.”

After going through such experiences, Lee Cheon was left with doubts about the story that the daughter had told him directly.

“When my father came, he always brought me the things I begged him for, as well as lots of delicious treats. So at first, I believed my father loved me.”

I thought that story was a lie to seduce me. More precisely, I concluded that this was the case and pushed it to the back of my mind.

“Yes, in reality, my father loved me. But it wasn’t the love between a parent and a child.”

However, the story that I considered a lie and stored away in my mind was at least partially true.

“My father bought me everything I wanted, and sometimes he took me to places like amusement parks. But every time, he hated me meeting or talking with others to the point of being obsessive. Naturally, it was impossible for me to go far from the countryside house on my own.”

Nevertheless, that story should not have been true. It absolutely could not be.

“I couldn’t even go to school. The housekeeper taught me just a bit of simple studying, but my education consisted of barely a year and a half of elementary school.”

Because Lee Cheon had told me that his daughter had died.

“And from the age of 11, that event began.”

In the truth of that story, that part was the only lie he had told.

“My father touched me.”

And if that statement was a lie…

“And it continued.”

What on earth…

“I was hurt by acts I didn’t even understand.”

Why would he have buried the lie that his daughter had died?

“…For five years, I was in hell.”

My hell lasted less than a month.

“The housekeeper pretended not to know what was happening. My father treated me well if I obeyed him, but when I tried to refuse such things, he resorted to violence and starved me. If my father commanded it, the housekeeper wouldn’t give me a single meal. I didn’t want to be hit, and out of hunger, I flattered my father.”

But could that short moment really be called hell?

“That was five years.”

It sounded like blame.

“After five years, my father began to lose interest in me.”

It felt as if she was accusing me.

“So it was after I started my period. After that, my father did not touch me.”

With just that, she was blaming me for calling my situation hell.

“But even so, my father did not give me freedom. He placed me in some kind of care facility, and I spent half my life there. The facility was nice. Meals came regularly, and the employees were kind. But escape was not allowed.”

I too wanted to say that I was a victim. I wanted to say that.

“I was finally able to leave that facility just two days ago with the help of the police. And I gathered the courage to stand here.”

But still…

“Please, punish my father, no, that devil.”

I turned off the TV.

I ran to the bathroom and buried my head in the toilet, throwing up everything I had eaten earlier.

It was horrifying.

The facts he spoke and the lies he told were so horrifying that it caused me pain, but the source of this nausea was not that.

I too was a victim.

I wanted to say that I was also suffering.

And thus, I had no choice but to run away.

I couldn’t say that.

To someone who had just emerged from five years, and more than a decade of hell, I couldn’t make such excuses.

Because I had spoken, because I had said those things to Ham Yejin.

I had said I didn’t want to be involved.

So that’s why.

Because I cowardly tried to run away alone.

So that’s why.

Because I had said I didn’t want my name in the media.

That’s why I sought out.

A substitute for Ham Yejin.

Truly, I didn’t need to lift a finger.

That woman, Lee Cheon’s daughter, would do everything for me.

In my place.

Perhaps I was overinterpreting and exaggerating.

Separately from my affairs, her matter naturally had to be reported and needed to be punished. So, she was not sacrificing herself for me at all. The fact that she blamed me was nothing but paranoia. In the first place, she probably didn’t even know me.

Yet still, all of this was tormenting me to the point of nausea. It was because of time.

It was urgent.

It was too fast.

It was not at a reasonable pace.

I did not want my name in the news anymore. Therefore, perhaps this incident needed to be hurried along. I couldn’t know what tricks they might pull if I delayed any longer.

Therefore, I set it up. I put a crime victim who had lived in captivity for decades—a victim of sexual violence—in front of the entire nation, just two days after her rescue.

Because I “asked for it.”

So Ham Yejin “did it.”

To find someone who would “do it” in my place.

I said that I didn’t necessarily need to take revenge on Ham Yejin. I said it was fine as long as I wasn’t punished.

So, could that be a pardon for this incident?

I definitely said that, but from Ham Yejin’s perspective, could this really pass?

Didn’t I just pass all the responsibility onto Ham Yejin because I could do nothing myself and ran away?

Ham Yejin said.

That it would become a personal matter, unrelated to me.

Perhaps all of my words were offloading every responsibility and decision onto Ham Yejin?

…Ham Yejin was a good person.

Why would someone like her stand in front of the entire nation just two days later?

Was it because of me?

Ham Yejin was, at least to the best of my knowledge, the strongest, most beautiful, and noble human being.

Did I truly make such a confession to such a person without any ulterior motives?

Can I say that the words I spoke to Ham Yejin did not force her to take revenge on me?

I said I wouldn’t run away.

I vowed that I wouldn’t run away.

Even appearing on a broadcast to show that spectacle was done with the determination not to run away.

But that determination shattered far too easily, without me even realizing it.

With a single touch from that old, calloused hand, the glass shattered.

So at some point, I was running away.

Running and running, I went to Ham Yejin.

And I entrusted everything to her, giving her all the responsibility, choices, and decisions, and ran away.

I turned my eyes away, blocked my ears, and remained still like a baby in a comfortable cradle.

It was truly,

So comfortable.

I heard the sound of a password being entered.

~

“Are you alright? Your complexion…”

“…Yes.”

As soon as Ham Yejin saw me, she immediately asked about my well-being. After just having vomited, it was understandable.

“…Did you see it?”

“…Yes.”

There was no need for a subject to understand what she was referring to.

Ham Yejin entered, changed her clothes, and tied up her hair as usual.

She spoke to me in her casual outfit.

“Don’t worry. There will be no mention of Seol-guk’s name from now on. The other party also won’t seek Seol-guk even in such circumstances, and after this is over, it will no longer be possible.”

“…I see.”

“Your complexion isn’t very good.”

Worry mixed with words flowed from Ham Yejin’s mouth.

“Have you eaten properly? If you’re not feeling well, you should go to the hospital.”

“Why did you do that?”

I broke off Ham Yejin’s words unconsciously and asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Was it because of me? Did I cause this by saying that I didn’t want to appear in the media?”

“Calm down. I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“Did you seek someone to replace me because I wanted to run away? Is that why you brought such a person to the news two days later?”

“….”

As I rambled on, spouting incomprehensible things, Ham Yejin’s expression hardened.

“I… was not looking for someone to fight for me in my place.”

“You seem to be misunderstanding.”

“Because of me… because of me….”

At that moment, I was already half in a panic. It had become a recent habit of mine to self-harm mentally, as if digging into the ground. But it was the first time I showed such a fragile state in front of someone else.

It was enough for me to suffer alone as a victim. However, transferring that pain onto another was a different story.

At this point, I was no longer a purely innocent victim.

“…I shouldn’t have said that.”

And at that moment, Ham Yejin grabbed my head with both her hands. Soon, a sharp pain hit my forehead.

“Ow!”

Naturally, I instinctively clutched my head. It hurt so badly, my head throbbed. Ham Yejin had headbutted me.

“I’m sorry. It seemed like you needed a shock therapy.”

“Uugh….”

“It’s all a misunderstanding, Seol-guk. I will explain everything.”

Indeed, the shock therapy seemed to have had some effect. At least now I was capable of listening to Ham Yejin’s story properly without being in a panic state. My head hurt a bit, though.

“This matter was originally unrelated to you, Seol-guk. Lee Cheon, the writer, was already in a situation where the police were secretly investigating. Naturally, it was not part of our management, but we can certainly relay the story you shared.”

“They were already investigating…? The matter regarding that daughter?”

“While they weren’t tracking that specific angle precisely, if I go into detail, it might turn a bit political… That person, regardless, has connections in politics and has quite a number of enemies, known or unknown.”

“So then….”

“Thanks to you, we were able to find a lead quickly, and that’s why the progress has been swift. The interview with Lee Seon-a was released immediately because of her strong will, and it was intended to act swiftly to prevent the suspect from fleeing. This has nothing to do with you, Seol-guk.”

“…”

“I understand why you might have come to that misunderstanding. But those are words you shouldn’t say. So do not say, ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’ It was a necessary thing to express. Furthermore, it was also because of your testimony that we could expedite the rescue of Lee Seon-a. You didn’t shift responsibility, nor did you run away.”

“…”

“Therefore, please do not hurt yourself like that. It was only natural for you to ask for help. If you truly feel guilt.”

“If I feel guilt…?”

“Later, I will also ask you for help. Then, you can help me then.”

That’s all it is.

“…Is that so?”

In truth, Ham Yejin’s explanation didn’t fully sink in.

Reflecting on it, there seemed to be little holes in her story. It was odd how perfectly the circumstances and timing fit together, and during her narrative, I could definitely sense that she was hiding something. Perhaps Ham Yejin was lying to reassure me.

However, believing her words was an alluring option, as it provided comfort and relief. Other options were far too painful; believing Ham Yejin’s words meant I could continue living without any worry or guilt, peacefully. Rejecting such an enticing choice was difficult.

Ham Yejin effortlessly comforted others. Even if her words were lies, the feelings behind them were sincere. Therefore, even though I sensed the possibility of Ham Yejin’s words being false, I couldn’t refuse that choice.

Even if all of this was a lie, that lie was for me.

How could I reject that heart?

“That’s the way it is.”

How could a person like Ham Yejin bring me such peace?

I couldn’t comprehend.

Nevertheless, I eventually nodded.

I willingly covered myself with this misunderstanding.

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