“Lu, i. Cough, hiccup, cough, cough!”
“You’re awake, Anne! Are you okay? I’ll call for the lady······.”
040
In This World (Part 1)
“Probably, I won’t recover.”
Those were the first words I heard upon waking.
Strangely, there was no pain. As if I had taken some kind of medicine while asleep, my mind floated hazily. In a world where blurry images overlapped and separated repeatedly, only the crescent-like face looking down at me with concern stood out clearly.
The emotions I had pierced through were now surfacing. You looked down at me with a face mixed with worry and regret. How ironic, considering it was you who cut off my leg.
“An······ne······.”
“Shh, don’t strain yourself.”
A gentle hand lightly pressed down on my body as I tried to sit up.
The usually hard bed now felt soft and plush. Carefully turning my gaze, I noticed that while my clothes were the same, an extra layer of silk had been spread over the bed. An unfamiliar, noble-like sensation enveloped my body.
But I wasn’t happy. Anne had somehow brought a chair and was sitting by my bedside, looking at me.
“How are you? Does it hurt?”
“My head······feels numb······weird······.”
“It’s okay, that means the medicine is working. You weren’t supposed to wake up yet.”
Her calm voice carried a chilling message. No matter how much I wanted to speak, my throat was so dry that even squeezing out a single word was a struggle.
“What······did you······do······.”
“I had no choice.”
I already knew what she had done, even in my dazed state.
Anne had cut off my leg. Not just amputated it, but also burned it to ensure it couldn’t be reattached.
Though I had become disabled overnight, the lack of realization might be due to the lingering haze in my mind. In my current state, even the leg that wasn’t cut off couldn’t move.
I don’t know. My spinning head couldn’t connect thoughts properly. I just stared at Anne with cloudy eyes.
“This is a shameful story of our Order, but in the past, there were a few times when we released heretics we thought had been fully reformed.”
Anne seemed to be muttering something, but her voice didn’t reach my ears, just a buzzing sound. Without understanding the meaning, I absentmindedly thought the flowing sound was pleasant.
“And the results were all disastrous failures. Half-hearted compassion led to terrible tragedies······. Now, no one believes heretics can be reformed.”
After a brief hesitation, you continued speaking.
Like a stream blocked by a rock, the water paused for a moment before finding another path to flow.
“Actually, I feel the same.”
“······.”
“If it were any other heretic, I wouldn’t have believed it. But you······because it’s you. Louis is Louis.”
Anne’s eyes, staring at me, had become as clouded as mine. Something beyond the haze of the medicine—something that could be called faith or fanaticism—had obscured her rationality.
Though we faced each other, our eyes didn’t reflect one another. Drunk on artificial haziness and baseless optimism, you rambled on with uncertain words, and I didn’t hear any of them.
“That’s why I had to prove it to others too.”
The river······they said the waterway that runs through our village flows down from the imperial territory. Summers are particularly hot, so we used to search for so-called ‘good spots.’ Places where the cool shade of zelkova trees and valleys perfect for dipping our feet intersected.
“I’m sorry. Did it hurt? I know how terrible what I did was.”
A gentle hand stroked my hair. Just like when I leaned against the zelkova tree, and you leaned against me, the breeze would lightly tousle our hair.
“But now, no one can deny it. Even if they still doubt, they won’t dare say it out loud. How faithful I am, and how pure you are.”
Anne muttered something. Birds sang leisurely.
“So—I’m sorry, but I won’t ask for your forgiveness to atone for this sin.”
Even in the shade, the sun was blindingly bright. I groaned, trying to raise my arm to cover my face, but my limp limbs betrayed my command.
As I struggled, Anne quickly noticed and used her sleeve to cover my eyes. I exhaled a steady breath, and a lazy summer day passed by unnoticed.
“It was all for you.”
All her words were like the wind. They didn’t stay, just brushed past.
Realizing I wasn’t listening, Anne let out a hearty laugh. And then silence. It wasn’t anything new. Leaning on each other and taking naps was part of our daily routine.
But as I teetered on the edge of sleep, I woke up again. Plop. Plop. Something lukewarm falling from above. Was it raining?
“Let’s······go······.”
The finicky season was as unpredictable as ever. Before the drizzle turned into a downpour, I spoke to Anne.
“Huh? Louis, what did you say?”
“······Let’s, go.”
Anne tilted her head, finding it hard to understand me. I mumbled into her ear.
“Home······.”
Even though you’re healthy and running around now, if you get soaked in the rain, you might end up bedridden again, groaning in pain. I didn’t want to see you sick.
Anne laughed at my words. The only clear image of you gradually blurred. I thought I was reaching out to hold you, but my arms remained limp and motionless.
“Okay, we can go back. Home.”
The grayish-blue sky reflected in my eyes was as overcast as ever.
For some reason, I urged Anne, who seemed to be speaking vaguely. Not later, but right now. I’m strong, so I’ll be fine, but if you don’t take shelter under a roof, you might get sick again. I’ll even take off my shirt for you to use as a windbreaker, so let’s hurry back—
But no more words came out. Anne held a small purple pill-like object to her lips and then bowed her head toward me.
The gem on her tongue exuded a sweet scent. But it was an unwelcome sweetness. I tried to resist, but Anne didn’t care and leaned closer to me.
The nauseating sweetness mixed with a faint, refreshing yet slightly sour scent of summer roses. It was a smell I liked.
It was your smell, the one I liked.
“—So, just rest for a bit now.”
My tongue tangled. The red flesh that pushed in, violating my unresponsive self, shoved the purple pill deep into my throat.
A revolting sweetness surged from within. I tried to vomit, but my body still wouldn’t obey. No, rather, a numbness spread stiffly from the swallowed part to every extremity.
—Soon, everything went black.
*
No one could stop her anymore.
Whether they revered her as a hero they couldn’t become or loved her as family they couldn’t be. No one.
After leaving the prison, Anne dragged Verdo around as if he were her servant. Verdo tried to refuse, but Anne reminded him of the ‘consideration’ she had shown him, leaving him no choice.
Two Inquisition Judges. The top combat personnel remaining in the Inquisition Temple, and heroes who had recently quelled the heretics’ uprising. So, even as they headed toward the cardinal, the priests dared not entertain the blasphemous possibility.
Inquisition Judges. Those who had killed more heretics than anyone else in the world.
Were now going to plead for the salvation of a heretic.
Of course, Verdo didn’t agree with Anne’s opinion······but who cared about his opinion?
“I have proven it.”
Anne looked down at the seated François and stated plainly.
“That I remain faithful and unchanged. That I still follow Ailim’s will.”
It was an intrusion, an assault. Anne barged into François’s office, and in the midst of handling paperwork, François had no time to send others away. The priests and scribes watched in confusion and curiosity.
Though they were in positions akin to servants, they were also members of the Inquisition Temple. They would not forget what they saw and would record it. And rumors starting from the bottom would spread to the very top.
Anne’s ploy was obvious. She, who only spoke in places unseen when at a disadvantage, now sought the stage as the situation turned favorable.
“Heretics can be reformed. Vito François.”
Though all she had learned were religious doctrines and combat skills, her actions were almost instinctive, a remarkable judgment and intuition, perhaps inherited from someone.
But even in this situation, as a doting fool who might feel pleased, François was a seasoned politician who had lived decades longer than Anne. He could much more skillfully organize and conceal his emotions in a drawer.
Thus, he faced his adversary not as someone’s father or a sinner burdened with guilt, but as a pillar of the Order’s power.
“There are already numerous precedents. Judge Anne.”
“Ailim has always spoken of love, mercy, and forgiveness. Do you intend to cling to the past and not save those who can be saved?”
What Anne said was orthodox, something that would appeal to the devout and conservative members of the Inquisition Temple.
Yet, the surrounding public opinion wasn’t favorable, given the havoc wreaked by heretics who were thought to have been reformed. Those who seemed to have returned to normal turned into monsters the moment they left Ailim’s sight, causing bloodshed.
“I am not blindly optimistic without basis.”
And now, the words of a girl who loved a heretic were stirring a new wind of change.
Before long, François’s office had become a small court, and the gathered audience became jurors and judges. Of course, any verdict they reached wouldn’t have substantive effect.
But if a small spark were to ignite here, it would soon spread for all the Order to see.
“There was a recent rampage by heretics. Sister Anne, and yet you suggest releasing them?”
“What I’m about to say is related to that. Brothers and sisters, please listen.”
Before François could speak, another voice interjected. The priests remained polite and quiet, but the murmurs among them grew louder.
“Some may know, others may not, but there is more than one heretic in the reformatory. Besides the ‘Crown Prince’ everyone knows, another heretic was recently brought in.”
“And it was Sister Anne who brought them in, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. Why did I do that? Because I saw potential in that heretic.”
Defending a heretic was rash. But undeterred by the increasingly tense atmosphere, Anne continued her passionate speech like a battle cry.
“When the ‘Crown Prince’ went on a rampage, the other heretic remained calm. Moreover, that heretic can recite the Scripture from beginning to end and is about to receive the Holy Shackles. He accepted all of it without resistance.”
“But isn’t it true that the ‘Crown Prince,’ who had been stable until now, went on a rampage after that heretic was brought in? We can’t rule out the possibility that the heretics influenced each other.”
She didn’t respond to unfavorable remarks. Not even to Verdo’s muttering, ‘Isn’t it just that he couldn’t resist?’
“I’m not suggesting we blindly grant freedom to heretics. I haven’t forgotten the tragedies of the past either.”
Her momentum dominated the room. Beyond human status and dignity, it was the vigor of someone who had overcome countless hardships and battlefields.
Since it wasn’t filled with malice or hostility, the gathered crowd wasn’t intimidated, but they couldn’t help being swayed by her. Clearly, Anne had the qualities of a hero.
The ability to gather people, make them believe and follow her, and lend persuasiveness to even the most absurd lies.
In a way, it was a rarer and more precious blessing than the Holy Body she had swallowed.
“But!”
“That doesn’t mean I, or we, will turn a blind eye to those we could have saved but didn’t!”
The girl’s clear voice broke the Inquisition Temple’s discipline, ringing out.
Anne had staked everything on this moment. She had thrown down the gauntlet to old, entrenched customs. If she could shatter this prejudice, she would surely achieve her goal—
But what if it wasn’t prejudice but a lesson written in blood? The price of shedding unnecessary blood would return to her. If she were a scholar, it might end with political downfall and exile, but she was an Inquisition Judge.
Perhaps Anne too would be branded a heretic and judged alongside them.
Yet, not a trace of fear could be seen in the girl. Her eyes shone with certainty, like a navigator following the North Star amidst countless stars.
“Heretics can be reformed!”