Chapter 35

“What? What are you talking about······.”

“Don’t tell me you’re eyeing another girl while I’m here? Who is it?”

“No, that can’t be! Me, with someone other than you······.”

“Then be honest. Why have you been so gloomy since earlier?”

*

035

Stains (Part 1)

*

Heaven cannot last forever. The more dazzling the moment, the greater the fall when it crashes into reality.

Half-dazed, I traced the spot where Anne had left. It wasn’t like last time when she left while I was asleep. We had shared enough warmth so that the farewell wouldn’t feel too regretful······. Yet, human desire is a monster that knows no satisfaction.

Even though the warmth you left behind had long since faded, I lingered in bed for a while, unable to move. Until all the ‘traces’ were erased by the light of purification, and the bed became as clean as if everything had been a dream.

*Slap!*

But when I slapped my cheek, the sharp pain was real.

Nothing was a dream. Neither the good nor the bad. The only thing that changed was that, until now, I had always wished for all of this to be a dream, for it to have never happened.

Perhaps for the first time, something I didn’t want to undo.

Yet, if given the chance to petition Ailim, I would still make it as if it never happened.

Not because I don’t love you, not because I want to deny the fruit of our relationship, but the opposite. Because I believe in the possibility of a more beautiful future for us.

Not as a prisoner and a jailer, not as a heretic and an Inquisition Judge, not as a commoner and a noble······.

Just as you and me, Anne and Louis.

All meaningless assumptions. The Lord respects free will and does not deprive us of the opportunity to bear our responsibilities.

“Sigh······.”

Even if it wasn’t my choice,

In a world where countless wills collide, free will is ultimately an illusion. In a raging torrent, everyone struggles just to hold onto a wooden plank and not sink.

I, too, drifted aimlessly and washed up on a small rocky island, but it was too narrow and barren to settle.

“······.”

Even now, after so much time has passed, I still gaze at the cold, lifeless space and lower my head. It’s better to follow the rescue ship. To your side, where you reached out to me······.

The tangled thoughts in my head bubble up like foam, refusing to settle, and time flies even when I do nothing. My days always stood still when Anne wasn’t by my side.

And then.

“Ah, Teacher.”

As always, ‘Teacher’ was staring at me from beyond the bars. Despite the title, Teacher had never taught me anything.

That was Anne’s role. She took care of everything about me. So Teacher only occasionally showed up to exchange trivial small talk, never crossing the line.

Unlike Anne, she never stepped beyond the sacred barrier of the silver bars, dressed in plain priestly robes.

“You have a request? Yes, go ahead.”

I pondered her words for a moment before nodding.

“Do I have something like that? Well······ you can take it if you want.”

Though her rank seemed lower than Anne’s, it wouldn’t hurt to curry favor with someone from the Religious Order. As I agreed, Teacher clasped her hands as if grasping the air.

I watched quietly before closing my eyes. For the first time since that day, hope had pierced through the pain and despair of my life.

I couldn’t help but let that expectation seep into my heart.

*

Heaven cannot last forever. The more dazzling the moment, the greater the fall when it crashes into reality.

So, even knowing it’s blasphemous, I compare the past moments with those yet to come. She had learned that no worldly ecstasy or pleasure could compare to the heaven beyond the gates of salvation.

Could there truly be anything more soul-stirring than this? Despite her devout and steadfast faith, Anne couldn’t believe there was anything more heart-shaking than this.

“······Sigh.”

Even with a strong will, shaking off the lingering feelings was quite a task. But she couldn’t dwell on the past forever, so Anne shook her head and focused on her duties.

She was an Inquisition Judge, but that wasn’t all she did.

Especially now, temporarily stripped of her Inquisition Judge qualifications due to disciplinary action. Besides managing the Reformatory, she had additional responsibilities to atone for her sins.

*Rustle.*

In fact, this was closer to her true duty. The Reformatory was a place blessed by Ailim. Did such a near-perfect place need the hands of the imperfect?

Before Anne took on the management role, the position had been vacant, and no one found it strange. Only Verdo occasionally visited to catch up with his ‘brother.’ Others never set foot in that sacred prison.

Anne’s competence had already been proven in both civil and military affairs, to the point where some called it a waste of manpower. It was a necessary role to quell the overworked priests’ complaints.

<Judgment Records>

······And, other priests didn’t want to see these records, so she was the perfect fit.

Compiling, reviewing, and organizing the reports written by various Inquisition Judges. Her job was to finalize and fill in any gaps.

The first page of the neatly organized parchment listed names and numbers.

<Enardi, 404>

<Etrazes Castle, 25(revised)1>

<Yefrinse, 64>

The edges of the layered parchment were marked, making it easy to find the desired section.

The content, already refined by scribes, was clear and well-organized. Enardi, the origin of the plague. Etrazes Castle, where a powerful heresy took root. Yefrinse, the site of the final judgment······. All places marked by the footsteps of Inquisition Judges.

Each life, each death, was not honored for its nobility but merely inscribed as a number. Those who sacrificed and those who were sacrificed, those who judged and those who were judged.

Anne knew all of this. She had to.

“······.”

She added annotations to the records that still reeked of blood, despite being made of the cleanest, crispest parchment. What sins they committed, how they fought, and how they met their end.

Those rotted and decayed by the plague were pushed into the pyre, even a single child.

Those of noble blood had their names erased and were cast to the bottom.

And her hometown.

“Phew.”

God is flawless, but those who serve God are full of flaws.

Preaching love and peace, yet sometimes resorting to blood and violence to uphold their words. Anne had taken on that role.

And as the vanguard of all those corrupt practices, Anne had to apologize to those she trampled.

“I’m sorry.”

Today was a bit heavier.

Tracing the ink stains that spread like black blood, the girl didn’t even shed a tear. She knew better than anyone that she didn’t have the right.

But in this unseen corner, where she didn’t need to be the top Inquisition Judge, or someone’s savior or punisher.

The girl barely held herself together.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry······.”

Those she had killed with her own hands.

Those she failed to protect and were killed.

A girl so passionate about love couldn’t be devoid of sensitivity. Anne had simply learned from a young age how to pretend not to hurt, to hide herself, and not to worry others.

In the end, it created a killing machine that slaughtered countless without batting an eye, showing no hesitation even when they begged for mercy.

“I failed you······I’m sorry······.”

Yet, beneath the radiant silver armor, she was still a fragile, sickly girl. When the lies of faith, conviction, and nobility she had built crumbled, she bled and cried.

And now, Anne had completely shattered her incomplete but steadfast faith. Like her father, who had severed worldly ties but left ‘a single blemish,’ preventing him from becoming Pope and remaining a Cardinal.

She had left ‘a single exception’ in the judgment that should have been flawless and impartial.

It was an insult to all those crushed beneath the path she had walked. Anne, who knew this better than anyone, couldn’t even cry out loud.

She didn’t have the right to cry. No one should hear her tears.

Inquisition Judge Anne had to remain the hammer of the Religious Order, a fair and just judge.

“······.”

The rustling of papers hid the girl’s sobs, and the discarded records, deemed too biased or sentimental, stole her tears.

It didn’t last long. Sensing a presence outside the small room, Anne raised her head.

Her expression was as calm and cold as ever, just as everyone in the Religious Order admired.

“Sister Anne.”

“······Brother Verdo, what is it?”

Yet, the faint tear stains under her eyes remained.

Pretending not to notice was also a brother’s kindness.

“A heresy has erupted······in the Reformatory.”

Or perhaps, the situation was too urgent to bother with such ‘trivial matters.’