Chapter 21

[If I told you I was originally a Watcher, would you believe me?]

It feels like my body is as comfortable as if I’ve been given a sedative.

Death sometimes makes life clearer.

It’s a kind of contrast effect.

Like holding your breath until you’re about to faint, and then feeling the relief and freshness when you finally inhale.

It’s a sensation that makes you clearly feel you’re alive.

Now I can feel myself slowly recovering.

It hurts, but it’s refreshing.

Once I passed a certain dangerous point, my body began to repair itself.

New flesh is growing on the burnt areas, and my twisted insides are realigning.

Whew.

I thought I was dead for sure.

Even now, thinking back, it was a close call.

I stretched roughly and turned my head toward the girl standing blankly beside me.

“Uh, Belva?”

“Yes.”

Ugh, this is awkward.

It feels weird to actually talk to her after only ever communicating through messages.

It’s like meeting an online gaming friend in person.

After a moment of hesitation, I extended a hand.

If we’re meeting for the first time, we should start with a handshake.

But Belva didn’t know much about Earth’s culture.

She just stared at my outstretched hand.

Her expression was puzzled, as if trying to figure out what it meant.

Embarrassed, I pulled my hand back.

Let’s just talk.

“How did you get here?”

There are so many things I’m curious about, but first, I need to confirm the possibility of inter-dimensional travel.

It’s dangerous if people keep showing up like this.

I’ve heard that the so-called Guild exclusively manages warp devices.

Her voice must also be related to the Guild.

And she seems to hold a fairly high position.

Judging by the fact that she can use something like a dimensional travel device at will, she’s probably not an ordinary person.

But what about Belva?

Her attire and appearance clearly suggest she’s from a noble family, but…

Belva has been with me all day.

Except for occasional sleep, she’s always been watching over this dimension.

I can’t picture her being part of such an organization.

“…You’re not wrong, but it’s kind of annoying.”

“So, how did you get here?”

When I asked, Belva, folding her wings as if tired, began to explain.

“You know I have various abilities, right? Dimensional travel is one of them. Of course, it requires a medium, but fortunately, I had enough Dimension Power.”

I know.

Belva can do a lot of things.

Reading minds, analyzing bodies, trading with other dimensions, exploring the world with unlimited vision, and so on.

There was hardly anything she couldn’t do.

Still, I didn’t know she could do something as big as dimensional travel.

“Simply put, I sold myself to this dimension.”

Huh?

“Is that possible?”

“Well, not really. It’s illegal.”

“Can you go back?”

“……”

Sigh.

Well, I’m grateful, but it seems she had no plan at all.

“So, you used the explosion of Dimension Power at the last moment to jump here?”

Belva nodded.

“It wasn’t a normal transfer, so there’s no way back.”

Belva nodded again.

“Are you an idiot?”

Belva puffed out her cheeks instead of nodding.

“I have my reasons, you know?”

“Well, I’m grateful you saved me, but this seems like a huge loss for you.”

“It’s not a loss at all. I can still use most of my abilities here. And since I’ve already crossed dimensions, there’s no risk of restrictions. I like it here better. It’s much freer.”

Then she added quietly, sounding a bit somber.

“Besides, there’s no one over there who’d be sad if I left.”

*

[Ah. How is it? Can you hear me well?]

“I can hear you.”

Belva’s face lit up as if she’d accomplished something.

Her wings fluttered.

Those wings might be like a dog’s tail.

Come to think of it, if Watchers are like angels, wouldn’t they be completely opposed to little demon kids?

I wonder if that’s okay.

When I asked, Belva burst out laughing and waved her hand.

“Not at all!”

From what I heard, harming another race just because they’re a different species doesn’t happen.

Their personalities might clash, but that’s a problem they have to deal with themselves.

So, she is an angel, right?

Basically, angels are beings who follow God’s commands.

When I asked if there’s a God, Belva’s face stiffened slightly, and she shook her head.

Hmm…

Seems like something happened.

Her attitude toward that world is also telling.

There are many suspicious points, but let’s just move on for now.

After all, she did save my life.

Even if it was a calculated move because she wanted something from me, I’ll do my best to fulfill her request within reason.

Now my body is fully recovered.

It’d be great if I could take the corpse of that large creature with me.

“Ah, damn it. Seriously.”

Wow, seriously. Crazy.

I even used up all my Magic Power to…

Even though it doesn’t move, it doesn’t think about moving.

Did I really kill this guy?

Well, he did self-destruct, but still, it gives me the creeps for no reason.

If we had fought head-on, there would’ve been no chance.

I tried splitting its leg with an aura, and it was packed tightly with muscles.

The residual magic power inside its body didn’t leave even after death, creating a massive flow.

A good idea popped into my head.

If I cook and eat this, wouldn’t my magic power skyrocket?

“Right?”

“Well, yeah. Normally, eating something like this would cause magic overload… but no. Yeona would probably be fine.”

Then there’s only one way.

Humans are tool-using animals, after all.

If I use my head, I can do anything.

After some pondering, I found the optimal solution.

“Alright, Belva.”

“Yes?”

“Let’s pull it together.”

That day, I learned just how much Belva’s wings droop when she’s completely exhausted.

*

As dawn breaks, the world is bathed in a strange blue light, quietly subdued.

At times like this, my mood calms down too.

It’s a good time for a chat.

After putting the kids to sleep in the hastily built Academy, I sat at the base of a tree and exchanged various conversations with Belva.

Things I was curious about.

Future plans.

We reviewed our goals again and pondered the direction we should take.

The topic somehow shifted from me to Belva.

Belva comes into view with her drowsy eyes.

Her thin, wet blonde hair and slightly mismatched odd eyes.

She looks pure and clean.

It seems her very material is different from that of humans.

I realize it anew, but she’s pretty.

Objectively, she’s more beautiful than any human I’ve seen.

Which makes it even stranger.

I’m human, and humans are animals with desires, specifically sexual desires.

It’s as primal as breathing and eating.

In the past, I wasn’t a eunuch.

If anything, I was quite the opposite.

Yet, at this moment, sitting alone with her, I feel nothing.

Why is that?

Is it simply because my current body is female?

But even when I think of men, I only feel disgust.

In fact, sleeping and eating are gradually becoming less important.

My mouth tastes bitter.

What does it mean for a human to be free from desires?

It’s complicated.

I wonder how I’m changing.

Am I even human anymore?

I became curious.

“Did you ask me something?”

“No.”

I cleared my thoughts and took a deep breath.

The damp morning air fills my body.

Right. What does it matter?

I’m alive like this.

Breathing, moving, thinking, and living.

Thinking like that, everything feels like it’s turning positive.

“Ahhh! Good morning!”

As the sun slowly rises, I energetically wave my hand.

I stretch my back with a bright smile.

Another day begins like this.

Belva, who had been watching me with a strange expression, called me in a serious voice.

“There’s something in the shop window.”

What is it?

“A medicine that cures mental contamination. It’s not very effective, but it’s good to get rid of such things early.”

I almost burst out laughing.

She thinks I’m crazy.

Of course, she’s somewhat right.

I’ve been through terrible things since long ago, and because of that, I’ve frequently visited the mental ward.

Once, I even thought I was insane myself.

And I considered it fortunate.

It became my excuse.

I went through this and that, so I had no choice but to go crazy.

Therefore, it’s not my fault.

I lived with that thought.

I know how meaningless that is.

I know the price that comes with letting go of everything and giving up on oneself.

The pleasure it gives is dangerous.

It’s addictive beyond comparison to anything in the world.

The more you cross the line, the more your brain demands stronger dopamine.

And your body follows.

As if possessed by something.

“Don’t worry.”

I’m fine.

If I were going to give up, I would’ve done it long ago. I can’t give up now.

At my words, Belva nodded, saying, “Hmm.”

“I see. You do seem fine…”

“Let’s go hunt a large species today.”

“You really are crazy!”

Of course, I’m joking.