Chapter 64

So, I had a chat with Milia for a while.

Damien’s treatment is almost done. He lost so much blood that he’s still bedridden, but they say he should be able to get up and move around freely by tomorrow.

Unlike me.

I still can’t even turn my head without it being a struggle. Even though I must have poured out a healing miracle. Well, I guess I was in that bad of a shape. When I collapsed after cutting down Natalia, I really thought I was going to die.

“…So…now…”

Milia’s words started to come in fragments. Maybe it’s because I’m lying in bed, exhausted and unable to move. A deep fatigue pressed down on my consciousness again.

“……”

“There’s a rumor in the capital…”

My eyelids felt heavy. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness.

Maybe sensing that I wasn’t responding, Milia stopped talking.

“Tired? Yeah, I guess. Let’s get some rest for now.”

There were still so many things I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t hold on any longer.

“Goodnight, Ha-shal-leur.”

My consciousness sank back into darkness.

=======[Dream?]=======

I had a dream. Like always.

Countless incomprehensible images flashed past me.

An old man with one eye sitting on a throne, looking down at me with two birds by his side.

A woman spreading lush greenery across an endless land. A pure white girl receiving something from her.

And thirteen meteors falling from the sky.

The world grew darker.

The dream began to shift. Into a nightmare.

In the darkened world, only one being remained.

A beast, growling, bound by countless gray chains.

A massive creature, its size blotting out the sky, casting a shadow over the entire land. It was more like a mountain range covered in fur.

Beneath the beast’s feet, a red lake had formed. Sharp spikes at the ends of the chains dug into its body, holding it in place.

It was a steel straightjacket, a colossal leash.

The beast howled into the void. If a thousand lightning bolts struck at once, they might compare to this roar. The world trembled.

And then.

Light fell from the sky.

A blinding radiance illuminated the world, descending to envelop the bleeding beast like a veil. The spikes slowly pulled out as the light touched them.

The gray chains were pulled away, and the white holy light began to change form.

But nothing had changed.

Because it was still a chain.

================

When I opened my eyes again, Milia was gone.

Instead, a woman I’d never seen before was looking down at me. Wait, maybe I had seen her before.

Her sapphire eyes, like a winter lake, sparkled. Long lashes half-covered her eyes, like snow-covered ice on the water’s surface.

Her flawlessly white hair cascaded down her cheeks, casting shadows on her face. She was as delicate and beautiful as a porcelain doll.

A golden chain-shaped tiara. A pristine white holy robe. An outfit I’d seen dozens of times before.

Lacey Elmain Staldorf, a saint candidate of the Elpinel Church.

“You’re awake. Princess Ai-shan Gi-or.”

She spoke softly as our eyes met. Her voice was professional, hard to read.

I was just bewildered by this unexpected meeting. I had planned to visit her someday, but I didn’t expect her to come to me first. Why would someone so busy with relief work come here?

“Good timing. I was wondering if I’d have to wait until you woke up.”

“Who…are you?”

I cautiously trailed off. Not that it mattered, my voice was half-asleep anyway.

“That white hair… I feel like I’ve heard of it somewhere…”

I decided to act like I didn’t know her. It would be weird to recognize someone I’d never met before, no matter how distinctive her appearance was.

“Lacey Staldorf, of the Elpinel Church. Your senior.”

“A saint candidate…?”

“You know about it. Yes, that’s right.”

Lacey nodded lightly.

“But why would someone like you come to me…?”

“Obviously, to check on the condition of a critical patient. Surviving was a miracle, after all. And now that you’re awake, there are things I need to tell you.”

Lacey smoothly sat down on a chair beside me. The holy symbol around her neck swayed.

Her face was still expressionless. Weirdly so. Wasn’t she supposed to be more benevolent in the original story…?

Sure, during battle, she was decisive like a combat priest, but in normal times, she was the type to say things like, “Even non-humans need the hand of salvation.”

A bitter smile escaped me.

Talking about the original story… I had decided not to believe in that anymore. Look where believing got me.

…Anyway, things she needs to tell me. I don’t know what it is, but judging by her sitting down, it’s probably going to be a long conversation.

I cleared my throat slightly, trying to prepare myself to talk properly.

“Critical condition, huh? Was my condition that bad?”

“You were a corpse.”

Huh?

A more blunt and absurd answer than I expected came back. I stared at her, mouth agape.

“To be precise, about 90% corpse. Cuts and stab wounds all over your body. Your face and lungs were burned, and your spleen and pancreas were completely blown out. Almost every muscle was torn, and the bleeding was beyond description. It’s a miracle you could even move in that state.”

Honestly, with injuries like that, I shouldn’t have been able to fight, let alone survive. During the battle, my body moved as if possessed, but under normal circumstances, I should have collapsed and died midway.

Even I thought it was close to a miracle. Not the kind of miracle priests perform, but a literal divine miracle.

“But thanks to dozens of priests, including myself, pouring out every healing spell we had, your wounds were somehow healed.”

“Those kinds of injuries… healed? Is that even possible?”

“Well, you should have died without a doubt. It must have been Elpinel’s care. The reason… I don’t really know.”

Lacey stroked the holy symbol. The golden cross glittered under the ceiling light.

Elpinel’s care, huh. Rana’s words, who had healed me, flashed through my mind. She called it Shaulite’s grace.

Elpinel’s…

Care, the grace of Shaulite.

And… the guidance of Bølberg.

For some reason, I kept feeling entangled with the names of the gods.

“Then, why isn’t my body moving…? I can’t feel anything. You said I was healed, right?”

No matter how hard I tried, only my neck moved, which was frustrating. Below that, I could barely feel anything.

“That’s because only the external wounds have been treated. The energy that was completely drained hasn’t returned yet, so it’s only natural.”

“Energy?”

“Life force, you could say. The intangible power that keeps a person alive. Apart from your physical injuries, you had completely exhausted that energy.”

Come to think of it, Milia had mentioned something like that too. That I had used up too much energy. I thought it just meant I was too exhausted from overworking.

“Normally, even if you were healed, you would have died soon after, like an old man who had reached the end of his lifespan.”

Huh… I remember reading a similar term in a book before… Oh, right. It was called “Jinwonjingi” or something. But this is a world without internal energy, so I didn’t think such a concept existed.

“That’s why I came to check on you. Fortunately, your energy is slowly replenishing. How resilient your life force is, it’s almost like…”

Lacey trailed off and then coughed awkwardly, as if she had almost let slip something she shouldn’t have.

“Anyway, you’ll be in this state for a while. Your senses will gradually return, but it’ll take about a month before you can move properly.”

“A month… That’s too long.”

“Actually, it’s quite short. You could have been lying in a coffin for the rest of your life.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong about that.

“Don’t push yourself and make things worse. I recommend you rest. You’ll probably be very busy after a month.”

“Busy, you say?”

“Yes. I mentioned earlier that I had something to tell you, right? It’s about that. You’ve received three letters.”

Lacey showed me three sealed envelopes. One was adorned with lavish gold foil, while the other two were simple, with only a seal stamped on rough paper.

“Letters? From whom?”

“One from Landenburg, one from Pailun. And this one is an invitation from the imperial family.”

“The imperial family? Good heavens.”

“Given the rumors about you spreading everywhere, it’s no surprise the imperial family is interested and has summoned you.”

Rumors, huh? Come to think of it, Milia mentioned something about rumors too. I wonder what they’re about. I just hope it’s not about being called a savior or a hero. That’s not something I deserve.

“What kind of rumors? Can you tell me?”

“Hmm…”

Lacey seemed to hesitate. What kind of rumors could make her react like that?

“There are three main ones. Good rumors, bad rumors, and… strange rumors.”

“…Three of each?”

“Yes. First, the good rumor is about your exploits. They say a young female knight wielding a blue sword defeated most of the Suin and saved dozens of academy students. They say a new master has appeared in the empire.”

I did save dozens… but tens of thousands died because of me. No, because of the Suin.

Yeah, it was because of the Suin. Let’s think of it that way.

If the Suin hadn’t existed in this world, none of this would have happened.

The Suin chose slaughter over harmony and peace. They’re the problem.

If they hadn’t existed, I wouldn’t have…

I rationalized it again. I had to. I stopped my thoughts from going in a negative direction.

Maybe it was because time had passed, or because of the calm atmosphere in the hospital room. At least the emotional turmoil I felt back then had subsided a lot.

Yeah, someday it’ll be fine. Like how nightmares fade from memory over time. I just need to do what I have to do. What I must do.

…Was it really what I had to do?

It was definitely something only I could do. But was it this desperate from the start?

Doubt led to suspicion.

I want to save people. That much is certain. It’s just… the reason is a bit unclear.

What was it again?

Was it because of the screams of the people slaughtered by my command? Or the eyes of the woman who became a slave? Or because every time I dream, they stare at me in my nightmares?

No, that’s not it. Those reasons are part of it, but it’s not just that.

Then is it because of the difficulty? The more people die, the higher the difficulty of the original story? And the world might really be destroyed?

This is a bit strange too. It’s a rational reason, but is it really because of that?

It’s a strange feeling. Like the middle part is missing. There’s a result, but no process.

What is it, really?

“…Princess Ai-shan Gi-or?”

Lacey cautiously called out to me, looking puzzled. The person who asked for the rumors was now sitting with a serious expression, eyes closed. Of course, she’d find it strange.

I cleared my thoughts.

Well, what does the reason matter? I can do it, and I must. If I don’t, everyone will die.

“Ah, right. I was just thinking about something else. Go on, what’s the bad rumor?”

Let’s continue the conversation.

“The bad rumor is that the person who performed those exploits is the Spear of Ka`har, no… the Witch of Ka`har. They say it’s just a territorial dispute among beasts, and there must be some ulterior motive, things like that.”

Well, I expected that kind of reaction. I would have been suspicious too. In fact, the rumors are milder than I thought. The good rumors, on the other hand, felt like a heavy burden.

“…And the strange rumor?”

“That a monster made of blood and guts appeared in the capital and started eating the Suin. They say it’s related to you.”

“……”

I had nothing to say.