Chapter 45

It’s cold.

I lost too much blood.

The large wounds on my limbs were tied up with torn cloth, but that won’t bring back the blood I’ve lost.

At a glance, my skin had already turned pale, like a corpse.

It was an expected outcome.

Even though I needed treatment immediately, I deliberately wandered around, spreading bloodstains everywhere.

So that the scattered blood would be mistaken for the traces of ordinary monsters.

Otherwise, the dried red marks scattered on the ground might become signposts leading to the murderer.

I killed all the kobolds that came sniffing for blood.

Even with one arm half-broken and lying on the ground, I could easily take down kobolds.

Though I got a few more cuts here and there.

I’m tired.

As I crawled back to the cave, I thought about that man.

Knut.

A man who threw himself at me, burning with a desire for revenge, and whom I ultimately had to kill.

In my dazed and fading consciousness, I barely gathered my scattered thoughts to keep thinking.

He swore revenge for his family and comrades.

It was justified for him, but for me, it was an unjust resentment.

He was probably just the beginning. More people like him will keep appearing.

…And each time, I’ll have to kill them.

It’s a sad thing.

Especially because there’s no alternative.

I can’t persuade them.

The scars Ka`har and Hersela left on them are too deep, never to heal or be forgotten.

I can’t just die for them either.

If I accept their resentment and die, it won’t end there.

Ka`har is still around, and Or-han is alive and well.

If the original Hersela’s goal was to kill Or-han…

If I die here, the already twisted story will spiral out of control.

Or-han will eventually return with an army beyond reckoning.

The deaths that follow will all be my responsibility.

Because it’s what will happen after I fled here.

So I had to stop it.

To ensure that Or-han’s army, whenever it comes, won’t cross the barrier.

I don’t know exactly what Marquis Ludwig is thinking… but he probably won’t refuse.

I reached out again, dragging myself forward.

It’s not just Or-han.

In this world, countless deaths will unfold.

The Suin, the monsters. And…

…Right. Damien is here, so peace will come eventually.

The guy I met didn’t exactly inspire confidence… but he’s the protagonist.

He’ll keep getting stronger, becoming more like a hero.

But until then, how many people will die?

“Cough! Hack, keh…! …Haa… haaa…!”

Something boiled up in my chest, and I coughed up blood.

Gasping for air, I dug into the dirt and covered the blood I spat out.

It hurts.

The game I played wasn’t a peaceful one.

To create tension, to deliver catharsis and excitement, it was a hellscape where tens of thousands died without a second thought.

Asha, Milia, Rana, Freide, Ophelia.

A single wrong choice could lead to a fate worse than death.

Back then, they were just images beyond the screen.

Now, this is my reality.

So I had to protect them. I wanted to protect them.

I didn’t want to turn away.

Even if it meant killing those who stood in my way with my own hands.

A bitter laugh rose up.

To protect innocent people, I kill innocent people.

Truly, a vicious contradiction.

Even so.

Fight, kill, regret, hurt.

And still, get back up, fight, and protect.

*Save the world, save the people.*

Even if it’s a mess, even if it’s full of contradictions, this is what I can call my belief.

—

Before I knew it, the morning sun was rising.

In the shadowed forest.

Buried in the dirt, crawling, I stared blankly at the sky for a while.

—

At the cave entrance, Milia was pacing.

Why is she out here…?

Shouldn’t Hans be on watch?

I kept crawling toward her.

Perhaps because my tension had eased, blood began to seep from the wounds I’d tied up.

“Ha-shal-leur…?”

Milia, who noticed me, widened her eyes in shock and ran over.

Had she not been able to sleep? Dark circles of exhaustion hung under her eyes.

“What… what’s Hans doing, Milia, why are you…”

“Is that important right now? Good heavens, look at these wounds! Are you okay?! Hans! Rana! Come here!”

Milia fussed over me, lifting me up and heading into the cave.

Am I okay…? Well, not really…

My body and mind were reaching their limits.

My consciousness was fading.

But, with Rana here, I won’t die… right?

“Ha-shal-leur? What on earth happened to you…!”

“More importantly, we need to treat her now! Milia, lay her down here!”

Milia set me down on a sleeping bag, and Rana grabbed the holy symbol hanging around her neck.

*”What… even… trolls… Milia, did you know…?”*

*”I…! I only thought… I never imagined this…!”*

*”…Mother Shaulitesh… please… to her…!”*

My hearing grew dim, and I could barely make out their conversation.

The cold freezing my heart, the pain searing my wounds, all gradually faded.

The last thing I saw was a crimson holy light rising, before my consciousness sank into darkness.

—

When I woke up, it was already midnight.

The campfire crackled, spitting out embers.

My body felt like a desert, parched with extreme thirst.

The moment I tried to move, a tearing pain shot through my entire body.

“Ugh, aah…!”

“Ah.”

“Ah, Princess Ha-shal-leur! You shouldn’t move yet!”

“Ugh… water, some water…!”

Rana carefully poured water from a pouch into my mouth. The lukewarm stream moistened my parched throat and seeped into my stomach.

Only after drinking all the water did my thirst finally subside.

“…Thanks. Did you heal me, Rana?”

“It’s the grace of Shaulite. You could have died if not for her… She bestowed a particularly strong blessing, which is why we could save you.”

Divine help, huh? So, does a god like that know about me too?

…Knut once said the god of warriors guided him. I thought it was just a figure of speech, but maybe not.

“Really? Shaulite’s grace, huh… Maybe I should donate to the Church Order later.”

“What on earth did you fight to get hurt like that? It’s like you took on a dragon.”

Not a dragon, but someone like an angry bear. If it were a dragon, I’d be dead. How can a human beat a dragon?

“Just some strong guy…”

I brushed it off. I couldn’t exactly say I killed a classmate.

“Anyway, you need to rest for a while. You were injured in multiple places, lost a lot of blood, and even had a curse on you.”

“…A curse?”

Don’t tell me…

“Yes. A vicious curse. One that shatters the mind and drains vitality, carrying the chill of the underworld.”

So it was the Ice Blade after all…! To think such a curse would be inflicted by something not even an enemy, but by its owner.

Why on earth did Hersela create something like this? Or did she not anticipate the curse either?

“…Anyway, thanks. I owe you my life. Where are Milia and Hans?”

I didn’t see the two of them. Only Rana remained in the silent cave, taking care of me.

“Sister Milia is guarding the entrance. Uncle Hans went to hunt monsters. He should be back soon.”

“Alone…? That’s dangerous…”

The guy who got hurt fighting a few kobolds is wandering the forest alone? What if he runs into a troll?

“I need to take care of Princess Ha-shal-leur, and someone has to guard the cave.”

Rana answered calmly.

I guess she wasn’t planning to just sit around. Maybe she’s trying to get good grades.

Since I’m holding her back, I should help out a bit…?

“I see… Can you call Milia for me?”

“Sure. Rest here!”

Rana ran toward the cave entrance.

Meanwhile, I checked my condition.

My body was wrapped in blood-stained bandages. Probably prepared by Hans.

The chill had subsided a bit, but my limbs still wouldn’t move properly. Well, after being stabbed, pierced, and twisted, that’s to be expected.

The wound on my back still hadn’t healed and felt hot. …No way I can fight until the training is over.

Beyond the sleeping bag, I saw the tattered remains of my armor. It was beyond repair, not even usable as clothing. How much would it cost to fix that…?

—

“I brought Sister Milia, Princess Ha-shal-leur!”

“Are you awake, Ha-shal-leur? How are you feeling?”

Soon, Rana returned with Milia. Milia sat by the sleeping bag, examining my complexion with concern.

“I’ll manage… More importantly, Hans went into the forest alone? That’s dangerous.”

“Well, we tried to stop him. But Hans seems quite concerned about his grades…”

Is he aiming for a scholarship? He fought with me under Ophelia’s sponsorship, so he must be pretty tight on money.

“…Can’t be helped. Let it slide for today, but from tomorrow, take me with you.”

“No! Your wounds haven’t healed yet!”

Rana shook her head in protest. Milia also shook her head.

“Right. You can’t even move properly yet. That’s too much.”

“I’m not planning to fight. In this state, I can’t fight anyway.”

Fighting in this condition would be suicide. I never intended to help in combat from the start.

“Carry me. Then the three of you can move around together. No need to have two people stuck in this cave.”

“That’s… but…”

“I’ll just sense the kobolds and trolls. You two can handle the fighting. That should be doable, right?”

Scouting is fine as long as my senses are intact. Just avoid trolls and large groups of kobolds.

“…I’ll talk to Hans first.”

Milia reluctantly agreed, then suddenly turned to Rana.

“And Rana, sorry, but could you wait for Hans at the entrance? If anything happens, call out immediately.”

“Uh… sure! I’ll do that!”

After a moment of hesitation, Rana headed to the cave entrance.

Milia watched her for a while, then turned back to me. The flickering firelight cast shadows on her face, making her expression hard to read.

“Alright. Rana’s gone, so let’s talk. Ha-shal-leur.”

Her low voice carried a dark emotion.

“…Sure.”