Chapter 19

The pupils blinked.

At the first blink, doubt. At the second blink, understanding. At the third blink…

– A deep loathing akin to hatred.

Dozens of distorted pairs of eyes glared at me.

Their expressions, a mix of contempt, anger, suspicion, and distrust, were so twisted that they could only be described as distorted.

I swallowed dryly.

My breathing became heavy.

Human gazes, surprisingly, carry a physical force.

I know they can’t harm me, but seeing them like this…

Yes. It feels like being thrown alone into a vast ocean, a suffocating sense of unease washing over me.

The cigarette light swayed up and down, leaving an afterimage.

The pressure of their piercing gazes made the corner of my mouth twitch uncontrollably.

I forced my leg, which was about to step back, to stop.

Here, absolutely. I can’t show weakness.

I must imprint on everyone that I’m not easy prey, but a beast not to be trifled with.

Yes. I had already prepared myself for this much.

This was the world I had to live in from now on.

Don’t retreat. Don’t hesitate.

Don’t be afraid.

All they can do is glare and curse.

This is nothing compared to the nightmares I have every night, where the dead tear me apart.

To steady my mind, I recalled old memories, now blurred like an old photograph.

Losing both legs, unable to do anything, giving up everything.

Locked in a small room, turning away from the future, slowly rotting away in that miserable state.

Compared to the helplessness back then, now…

Yes, it’s much better.

At least now I have legs.

So, I can move forward.

I must move forward.

The steps have already begun. I can’t stop now.

If I retreat, I’ll fall. If I hesitate, I’ll die.

…The trembling stopped.

—

Walking with Nigel, we strode confidently across the academy grounds.

The crowd blocking the way parted to the sides.

I turned my head and met the eyes of those glaring at me one by one.

One by one, their faces twisted, then they bowed their heads or turned away, avoiding my gaze.

Yes. In the end, these are just trivial things. Not worth worrying about.

Perhaps after today, I won’t even see them again.

The murmurs brushing past my ears weren’t worth listening to.

They’re probably cursing me or Ka`har.

—

Not long after, when we reached a quiet, narrow corridor, Nigel turned to me.

“…Are you alright?”

“What? Those guys earlier? Don’t care. They’re nothing. I was expecting a few idiots to draw their swords and charge at me.”

I feigned nonchalance.

Truthfully, if anyone had charged, it would have been troublesome.

Even if I subdued them, it could have sparked the hatred towards me like a fuse.

“After all, glaring is expected, given what I’ve done. In fact, it’s more strange that you and Marquis Ludwig are treating me so kindly. You’ve heard the rumors about me, right?”

I voiced the question I had been holding.

Nigel, who shows an almost obsessive sincerity in his knightly demeanor, has never shown hostility towards me, which has always puzzled me.

Hersela, who raided and slaughtered Dane civilians and sold the weak into slavery, must know about her own deeds.

…We did clash swords on the first day due to a misunderstanding, but let’s overlook that.

“Indeed, the rumors are quite wild. That you slaughtered nearly three thousand Danes with a smile, sold women into slavery, and ate children alive.”

“…I didn’t eat children.”

The rumors were crazier than I thought.

The slaughter and slave trading might be true, but even Hersela wouldn’t resort to cannibalism.

“But rumors are just rumors. Being swayed by them and forming prejudices is not knightly behavior.”

“Even if the rumors are exaggerated, they’re not entirely wrong, are they?”

“At least, the Hersela I’ve met doesn’t seem like a lunatic to that extent. If the rumors are true, there must have been a reason, something unavoidable.”

Nigel smiled slightly and nodded.

I was a bit dazzled, staring blankly at that smile.

“Marquis Ludwig has also accepted you. His judgment couldn’t be wrong.”

“Is that so…?”

I still don’t understand why the Marquis is doing this. Ka`har is his family’s enemy.

Not knowing the reason makes his kindness unsettling.

Unlike Nigel, whose inside matches his outside, I can’t tell what the Marquis is really thinking.

“And anyway, the Danes are a provisional enemy. They’re human, so we have a non-aggression pact with the Empire, but they’re not subjects of the Empire.”

Wait, that logic?

It sounded cool a moment ago, but now it feels a bit less impressive.

Well, the Danes did resist and gain independence from the Empire, so to Nigel, an Imperial knight, they’re close to being enemies.

Is this knightly thinking showing even in such aspects?

—

After submitting the application documents at the academy’s administrative office, I asked if I could watch the entrance exam.

“…You want to watch the entrance exam…? Uh, well. It’s not that you can’t…!”

The flustered staff member said, “Please wait a moment!” and left her seat.

He ran towards the warrior.

From the moment he saw my face, he started trembling, and now he even looked like he was about to cry.

“Uh, your request to observe has been approved. There’s a special viewing area for exceptional students on the second floor of the exam hall! You can head over there!”

“…Alright, good job.”

He looked like he might burst into tears if I said anything more, so I awkwardly replied and walked out of the administrative office.

“…I’d rather deal with those glaring at me than that.”

At least with those glaring, I could glare back, laugh, or ignore them. But someone trembling and looking like they’re about to cry? That’s just too much to handle.

“Is that so? For me, dealing with someone like that is less of a concern, so it’s actually more comfortable.”

Well, Nigel is technically my bodyguard. He’s probably on guard in case someone among those glaring at me loses their temper and attacks.

Not long after, we arrived at the entrance exam hall. It was a large, square indoor auditorium with tiered seating surrounding the walls.

At the very top of the tiered seats, there was a railing separating the levels, and behind it were a few more luxurious seats. That must be the special viewing area for exceptional students.

Only three people were sitting in the nearly empty seats, watching the entrance exam with bored expressions.

A dragonkin man with a bald head and sharp horns protruding from his temples. A dwarf woman with a large metal backpack. And a silver-haired woman wearing a thick fur coat like a cape, even though it wasn’t cold.

They were characters I remembered.

=======[Ludwig]========

“Marquis. What was the reason you decided to take her in?”

Ten days before the academy entrance exam began.

Shane stood by the window of Marquis Ludwig’s office, watching the carriage carrying Nigel and Ha-shal-leur leave the marquis’s estate, and finally asked the question he had been holding onto.

“Was it that curious? Shane, you’re asking for the reason behind my decision to this extent.”

In response to his old friend’s question, Marquis Ludwig slowly put down the magic cigarette he had been holding, closed his eyes, and reminisced.

The reason.

Yes. At first, I planned to play along and then kill her. It was quite amusing watching her try to deceive me with her lies.

But then my mind changed, and I decided to expose her lies and ask for her true intentions.

“…You took on the political responsibility of being her guardian, even though she’s a Kaharr. You even assigned Nigel to her and allowed her to use the family’s training hall. Surely, you’re not thinking of making her your successor? Even if she’s the daughter of Lady Mediane, she’s still a Kaharr.”

“A Kaharr ‘half-blood.’ That difference is significant. At least, from the Empire’s perspective.”

If she were a pure-blooded Kaharr, I wouldn’t have accepted her. The imperial family wouldn’t have agreed either.

But half of the blood flowing through her veins, Ha-shal-leur Aishangior’s, belongs to the Empire.

The only direct descendant of the Mediane family, which had fallen into ruin after losing its heir. That was enough to persuade the imperial family.

The Empire’s imperial family still hasn’t forgotten the twelve knightly families.

“Above all, she is my hope.”

“Hope, you say…?”

A wisp of smoke rose from the magic cigarette placed on the ashtray. The burnt end, unable to support its own weight, crumbled into the ashtray.

Marquis Ludwig looked at it and reflected on his own life.

His beliefs. His honor. His pride. Love, hope, pride, and dignity.

The despair that had crept in. The endless, boiling hatred and passion.

…The helplessness of being unable to achieve his goal, exhausted and extinguished.

And finally, the opportunity that came, one he could never have anticipated.

Yes. She is hope.

The hope for revenge that I thought I could never achieve, finally found in the ashes of my heart, which had long since hardened and burned away.

“She despised the Kaharr, her father. She didn’t hate him, but she did. Eventually, as long as she remains in the Empire… no, in my hands, the two of them will inevitably clash.”

He won’t be able to stand by and watch his daughter, who betrayed the Kaharr and became an important figure in the Empire. The moment the news reaches him, driven by the opinions of his warriors, he will finally come to this barrier.

To the grave I’ve prepared for him.

“Can’t you imagine how delightful it will be? Orhan, that cursed Orhan, torn to pieces by his own daughter! If I can just see that, I’d do anything for it. No matter the cost, I’d gladly pay it!”

Marquis Ludwig gritted his teeth and laughed with glee.