At the very beginning, what must the first person to see the sea have felt?
I don’t really know.
But I imagine it must have been similar to the feelings I experienced when I faced my own emotions.
From a distance, the sea appears simply beautiful, blue, clear, and mysterious.
For me, emotions were not so different.
In my past life, emotions were “something.”
Of course, I don’t think my past self was miserable because I couldn’t feel emotions entirely. That was simply a condition, one form of difference.
Unfamiliarity meant I didn’t feel the need for it, or the need to change, so I avoided it.
But isn’t that true?
People don’t stop feeling emotions just because they want to avoid them, or because they don’t want to feel them. Naturally, as humans, we express them as a matter of course.
So, I too, at some point, began naturally approaching emotions.
One step, another step.
And then, the seawater that washed up to the shore wet my ankles.
It was far too cold and strange.
Though I was still unfamiliar with it, I came to understand it a little bit through constant repetition.
The image of myself reflected in the water.
“Alright, let’s take a look now.”
When Director Gong Jung-tae spoke, I swallowed hard.
My heart pounded.
Until now, I had never felt fear when reviewing my own acting. It was routine for me, something natural.
Even if everyone applauded my performance, it was ultimately because it was a performance only a child could give. They applauded the realistic simulation of emotion.
Acting.
Reflecting back, it was acting all along. Since my previous life, I had been acting out the characters others wanted from me.
But that’s all it was.
These are already things that seasoned actors, or those who excel, can do as a matter of course.
I was merely able to fake it effortlessly, like a habit.
So, it was a natural act for me, like breathing, with no particular sense of accomplishment.
“Your Majesty!”
The strange yet familiar sound of my voice rang out, and the acting began.
I watched it without even blinking.
Not just me—Director Gong Jung-tae, the staff, and even actors Yoon Jong-hyuk and Jeong Eun-seon all watched their own performances.
Until the final moment when Princess Yeonhwa exited the room and the door closed.
“Wow.”
As soon as the video ended, Director Heo Jeong-su of the camera crew let out an exclamation of admiration.
“While we shot it, it’s genuinely impressive. Look here, I…,”
“Agreed. When Seoyeon raises her head, the movement of light is perfect here.”
Originally, the light was bright, but when Seoyeon raised her head, for a brief moment, it dimmed temporarily. Because of this, her red eyes appeared even more striking.
This moment was slightly different from what Director Gong Jung-tae had originally requested. It could be considered a stylistic improvisation by Camera Director Heo Jeong-su.
“But is this reflected by the lanterns? No, if someone sees it, they might think we added CG, don’t you think?”
As Director Gong Jung-tae said this, he examined my eyes.
Unlike the video, my pupils now resembled a brown with red hues.
Because of this, Director Gong Jung-tae, after looking at my face with a puzzled expression, chuckled softly. Apparently, my expression was different from usual.
“Seoyeon.”
“Yes?”
“Did you think it turned out well?”
In response to his question, I hesitated for a moment.
How should I answer?
I reflected on the video I had just watched.
I remembered the days of hard work it took to shoot that one scene. I could even feel the faint sting of the scabs on my palms.
But this was it.
Not a step into an aquarium, but my first step into seawater, imprinting my first deep footprint on the beach.
“Yes.”
At this moment, I think I truly realized something for the first time: You unconsciously smile at the things that make you happiest.
This intense emotion, something the 7-year-old Joo Seoyeon felt but my previous self never understood.
“Really, it seems to have turned out well.”
I must have been smiling like any other child my age.
Certainly.
***
Following that day’s filming, as expected, I ended up bedridden for a full ten days.
It wasn’t clear whether it was due to excessive emotional acting or the physical strain over several days.
This young body, vulnerable to stress, languished as expected. I fully recovered by the two-week mark.
Even this strong body I acquired through reincarnation has its limits.
“Our schedule was adjusted earlier, so Seoyeon can take a good rest without any problems.”
Mother said this to me, as if to alleviate my worries.
In any case, we had ample leeway, and my recent hard work hadn’t caused any specific issues.
In fact, I could have rested for another week without a problem.
‘Everyone is overly concerned.’
Though I thought so, upon reflection, it was understandable. I was only seven years old. Comparing this behavior with that of other children, it was indeed abnormal.
‘However, strong emotional acting is already tough now, so portraying adolescence might be even more challenging.’
This is beyond my control. I struggle enough now; realistically, during puberty when hormones are imbalanced, it might be harder.
Though influenced by my previous life, there are other factors to consider. Of course, I am still a child, so it shouldn’t be that different, but…
“Joo Seoyeon, you’re here today? Why did you come?”
“Sounds like you’re implying I shouldn’t have come.”
At the kindergarten, where I arrived holding my mother’s hand after exactly ten days, greeting me was Lee Jiyeon, who seemed oddly pouty.
“Are you trying to be a princess too?”
At first, I couldn’t grasp what she meant, but after entering the kindergarten, I understood. Apparently, the school play was only two weeks away.
Each class was preparing their own drama or dance performances with the children. And while kindergarten plays might seem trivial, these days they are done quite grandly. Parents usually participate fully, and it’s common to rent out auditoriums.
“Alright, if you have a role you’d like, raise your hand!”
Teacher Min-ah directed the kids. Her gaze swept over Jiyeon and then me.
‘Plays are too transparent, aren’t they?’
I had expected this; the Sunflower Class was preparing a play. And it was none other than the familiar Snow White.
I thought perhaps more creativity might have been better, but upon reflection, this was probably typical. What matters is that in the context of ‘theater,’ there was a strong sense of determination to secure first place in the school play.
“Hey, did you know, Joo Seoyeon?”
“Why don’t you just call my name normally?”
Jiyeon always insisted on adding my last name when calling me. It just rolls off her tongue better, she says.
“Listen, mom told me something interesting. In these kinds of plays, the parents tend to be overly invested.”
Where did she hear this? Upon reflection, it makes sense. Of course, every parent wants their child to be a prince or princess.
Therefore, parents often object when roles are predetermined.
All of this was relayed to me by Jiyeon. Sometimes, I wonder what Jiyeon’s mother tells her young daughter.
“Hmm, well, I’ll just take whatever role is left.”
“Will you?”
At my response, Jiyeon laughed happily. She’s always eager for the leading role.
Anyway, since I didn’t protest, the role of Snow White naturally went to Jiyeon.
In fact, roles with lots of dialogue and heavy responsibilities are the ones children tend to avoid.
There were kids who wanted the part, but none dared to challenge Jiyean.
We might as well call it Jiyeon’s dominance.
“Hey, Seo-yeon, are you considering any other roles?”
“Yes, but there aren’t any left, right?”
“That’s true…”
Teacher Min-ah sounded regretful when speaking to me for taking the leftover role.
Even so, do I really want to take the lead in a children’s play?
I mean, I’m still a kid.
My parents probably wanted to see me perform on stage…
‘Hmm…’
Still, the role I was given wasn’t just an extra. In fact, it was a proper role.
The role of the ‘Magic Mirror’ from the queen.
No child dared to take it on. It’s a role where the face doesn’t appear, yet the dialogue is substantial.
What could be more intimidating than that? At least with the seven dwarfs, they actually get to appear on stage.
‘Sigh, well, I’ll do my best anyway.’
In a way, this mirror role is somewhat similar to being a VTuber.
If only the queen didn’t miss out on sending out Super Chats properly.
My dedication to acting has not wavered, nor has my passion for VTubing.
I was just deeply reflecting on how they might intertwine.
In any case, as the school play approached…
The final shooting for “The Moon That Hid the Sun” began.
***
The Moon That Hid the Sun.
A virtual historical drama prepared by KMB Broadcasting Company.
Initially, it was merely regarded as a period drama targeting the younger generation with significant capital investment.
However, after the making film was released, it gained much attention.
“Director Gong, did all of Seo-yeon’s scenes wrap up yesterday?”
Producer Ha Tae-oh of the drama addressed Director Gong Jung-tae before the meeting, as he had much to discuss.
“The video I saw yesterday… Is it true this is Seo-yeon’s first time performing in a drama?”
“Yes, that’s what I heard.”
Ha Tae-oh recalled the footage delivered yesterday. It was raw, with no edits or additional music inserted.
Yet, he found himself engrossed, unable to look away.
It wasn’t just Seo-yeon.
In fact, Yoon Jong-hyuk, who played the role of Jo Young-dae, delivered a standout performance. His portrayal was truly befitting the master of villainous roles.
“Yet she did not fall short of Yoon Jong-hyuk. On the contrary, in a particular scene, her presence was even more striking. Even if it was just for a brief moment.”
The look in Seo-yeon’s eyes when she first raised her head lingered in Ha Tae-oh’s mind.
What would happen if we added editing and sound effects?
The thought sent shivers down his spine.
“By the way… wasn’t that footage shot yesterday?”
“That’s correct. It was excellent, wasn’t it?”
“Wow, these days, child actors can no longer be underestimated, can they? Indeed, they call Park Sun-woong’s son an actor for a reason. By the way… there’s no need to mention, but Seo-yeon was just… unmatched.”
Ha Tae-oh’s voice was unusually filled with excitement. Gong Jung-tae found himself smiling involuntarily.
Indeed, after seeing that performance, how could he not feel that way? Park Jung-woo, who was called a child acting prodigy from a young age, was utterly astounded.
His fervent acting was spectacular.
“The final scene featuring the young Princess Yeon-hwa is scene number S#32, right?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm.”
Ha Tae-oh’s lips twitched as he recalled the video from yesterday. It was the smile of someone trying hard not to laugh joyfully.
Sometimes.
You just have a feeling.
A vague sense that things will definitely turn out well.
This time, it was exactly how Ha Tae-oh felt.
“Seo-yeon is going to stay very busy.”
After watching her final performance, anyone would want to work with her.