Chapter 242
“El? Where are you? Stop joking around and come out now!”
Elysia wasn’t the only one startled by the sudden appearance of the fog. The other friends were also trapped in the mist, unable to move forward, their feet stuck.
In a situation where nothing could be seen, the other friends, especially looking for Elysia, busily wandered around, but there was a limit when nothing was visible.
At least they were fortunate to encounter other friends floundering in the void and formed small groups, but Elysia was not among any of them, as she was in the process of falling below a cliff.
Before the fog that blanketed the Dragon’s Valley, even a Sword Master or a Great Wizard would be as good as blind.
In fact, the best strategy for safety would have been to remain still and wait for the fog to clear. Wandering around recklessly could lead them to intrude upon a Dragon’s territory, and they’d have to face its wrath.
However, the friends could not stay still. They didn’t mind putting themselves in danger. But Elysia, Elysia alone must never be allowed to fall into danger.
With that mindset, the friends diligently searched for Elysia.
The only consolation was that while Elysia had unwittingly slipped and fallen onto the treacherous terrain below, the other friends had managed to stay grounded.
When that small group barely managed to gather at one place, naturally, Elysia was the only one absent.
The voices of the increasingly anxious friends were thick with worry for Elysia, and their footsteps were colored with urgency.
“This won’t do. The fog is too thick; we can’t see anything at all. It might be better to just stay put…”
Lindy, who had asked all the spirits she was contracted with without any real outcome, spoke in a gloomy tone.
Finding Elysia in this fog was like finding a needle in a haystack.
If Elysia were also wandering around, then their search would be meaningless, and it would be more reasonable to wait until the fog lifts without moving from their spots.
“Do you want me to just sit still while El might be in danger? Don’t you worry about her? If you don’t want to search, stay here! I’ll go find her by myself!”
But that was only a story for when rational judgment was possible.
For Selian, who had already lost Elysia multiple times, that notion was something she simply couldn’t accept.
Of course, even if, by some chance, Elysia were to die, as a Hero, she would surely return to the past and get another chance.
But what about Selian?
Now that Selian was no longer a Hero, she couldn’t guarantee that her memories would carry over when Elysia regressed. What if not only this lifetime’s memories but also those from the previous ones vanished?
It was hard to even imagine. Even though the life ended poorly, it was a collection of memories with Elysia that she couldn’t afford to lose.
For Selian, being told to stay put was a proposal that she simply could not tolerate.
Only Elysia mattered.
Selian shook off the hand of the friend holding her back.
As she prepared to disappear alone into the mist, Lindy shouted, her voice as loud as Selian’s anger.
“Of course, I’m worried! I… we all care about Elysia! But… but have you thought about it? If by any chance one of us has an accident, even if Elysia returns safely, what choice will she make?”
At Lindy’s desperate voice, Selian, who had started to take a step, halted.
“Will that warm-hearted girl really just sit there? Elysia, who already knows the power of a Hero? No, if it ended there, that would be fortunate. She… will definitely take on unnecessary guilt. Even if she regresses, she won’t be able to confide in us; she’ll be suffering inside all alone!”
Selian couldn’t deny Lindy’s words. After all, having experienced multiple regressions herself, she understood better than anyone what Lindy was saying.
That’s why this current life was even more precious for Selian. Because she could share her memories and feelings with Elysia.
“You were a Hero too… even if everyone else is confused… you can’t be like that… you mustn’t let down Elysia’s expectations…”
After shouting for a while, Lindy quietly continued her words, her voice half-choked with tears. For the first time, she revealed the inferiority complex and jealousy she harbored towards Selian.
Lindy was envious of Selian.
Elysia, the kind-hearted one, would never discriminate, but if there was anyone among her friends whom she thought of specially, it would surely be Selian, Lindy believed.
It was a kind of insecurity.
Rather, before Selian and her group joined, Lindy had been very happy over the past three years, regardless of what others, including Elysia, felt.
Because she alone believed that she was the only one who could assist Elysia. She was the only one Elysia could rely on.
To help her, she created the Information Guild, working late every day to gather and analyze information, relaying support from the royal family, and even with her body worn and sick, she found satisfaction in the fact that she could help her.
In over a hundred years of life, she’d never been this happy before.
But nothing lasts forever.
Naturally, the connections formed during her time at the Academy, including Selian, came looking for Elysia. She wasn’t surprised; she thought it was only a matter of time.
After all, who had wiped Elysia’s presence clean in the first place? It was none other than Lindy herself.
Tracking back was fundamental, wasn’t it? The leader of the Information Guild, Lindy, would certainly know who was tracing Elysia’s whereabouts.
Still, Lindy pretended not to know, wanting to keep this time as long as possible a secret from Elysia while diligently covering her tracks.
If Elysia were to find out and if Selian and the other friends were to know, they would assuredly despise her.
But what could she do? Love isn’t all beautiful.
This was Lindy’s fault, the mistake and secret she hid from everyone.
When she finally reconciled with her friends and started hanging out again, Elysia quickly regained her old smile. The smile she hadn’t seen for the past three years. The smile she could never restore.
Luna, who had never seen Elysia during her Academy years, wouldn’t understand, but Lindy, who was the only one that knew both versions of Elysia, could clearly feel the difference.
But she never showed it.
In front of Elysia, Lindy always acted. With a smile on her face, she never revealed anything.
Fortunately, she was already accustomed to running a business and hiding her expressions, so it wasn’t difficult.
Meanwhile, she unconsciously began to compare herself with her other friends.
Is the total amount of love truly infinite?
It wouldn’t seem so. The phrase “love everyone equally” would suit only an omnipotent god.
For someone whose emotions were dry, that total would be hardly more than a handful, while for someone rich in emotions, that total would be as vast as the seas.
But in the end, they only share that finite quantity.
How many times am I for Elysia, really? Still, wouldn’t I be cherished more than her? If that child wasn’t around, wouldn’t I receive more of Elysia’s attention?
Even knowing that I shouldn’t think like this, I couldn’t help but dwell on my ugliness, burdening myself while being unable to stop.
In fact, just once, after honestly pouring out my feelings to Elysia, her gaze toward me began to shift slightly, giving me a moment to shove it aside, but it hadn’t completely vanished.
Little by little, the festering wound would inevitably burst.
The mask I had been wearing was peeling off. The ugliness I’d hidden beneath the mask revealed itself.
If only I could hurl curses at Selian, perhaps I would feel better, but even that was sullied by my inferiority complex, leaving me to self-flagellate.
I drove myself further into despair. This was the only act of penance that Lindy, who couldn’t express herself honestly, could do.
“Lindy…”
In a moment that caught her completely off guard, Selian finally noticed Lindy.
To Selian, Lindy was not an object of deep interest. The only feeling she had for Lindy was a slight gratitude that she had worked behind the scenes over the past three years to ensure Elysia didn’t cross any lines.
That was all she was.
Selian treated her kindly on the surface, but it was merely a facade.
Of course, the reason was that Elysia had filled Selian’s inner self completely.
Selian had no room left to accept anyone else.
Even Anne, Yuli, and Mariel were considered precious to some extent, but other people were nothing more than individuals important to Elysia.
Someone of value to Elysia, not to me. In the end, they were others.
To Selian, Lindy’s appearance—where she exposed her innermost feelings and emotions—was just too unfamiliar, surprising, and awe-inspiring.
Ah, this person thinks of Elysia like this. Different from me yet ultimately the same being.
This person is a second Selian, and I am a second Lindy.
Not simply understanding with my head, but empathizing with others. Not just looking at Elysia, but feeling for a third party as well. The sense I had forgotten since my first life awakened Selian.
Only then did I see the surroundings.
Suddenly, there was Lindy, who had started to cry, and even if I couldn’t hear the words properly, I could sense the unusual atmosphere that worried the other friends.
Selian approached Lindy and embraced her.
Feeling as though she was looking at herself, she couldn’t look away from Lindy, who was crying.
Lindy was a whole head taller, but that didn’t matter.
Everyone carries at least one wound deep within their hearts that they cannot share with others. If they said they didn’t, it would be a lie. They simply kept them hidden.
But wounds fester and become infected if left alone.
Here and now, there were only two pitiful children who were licking each other’s wounds.