Chapter 49

Elves hate washing.

Actually, it wouldn’t be fair to say they hate it; it’s more accurate to say they’ve just gotten used to it.

– “I can’t ruin my soul just to get clean!”

– “Honestly, it’s a hassle.”

– “It’s cold, and I catch a cold often…”

The ancestors of the elves called harmful pests of the World Tree “fairies” and kept their dirty ways.

To them, not washing up was a way to maintain a clean soul.

They questioned both their relationship with the World Tree and the act of washing themselves.

Above all, they had the advantage of feeling less discomfort compared to other races even without washing.

[Title: Why Wash My Hair?]

(Not greasy hair meme)

“I’m clean even without washing, haha!”

Or do other races really get greasy and dirty?

– “Here we go again with those Kanps.”

– “Oh man, they think they’re so great.”

– “Is there some kind of lethal disease that elves get if they don’t brag about themselves?”

“For real, sounds incurable.”

Being a race known for their stunning appearance, they maintained a certain level of beauty without much effort.

I thought they were just spouting nonsense about having clean souls and wondered if they were going to church again; but it was surprisingly unexpected.

– “Don’t wash! It harms the soul!”

[Devout churchgoer] “Oh, that’s a bit much;”

“Lol, even the Kanps skip out on church.”

“It’s not easy, you know?”

Who would have thought that elves, known for their cleanliness, would turn out to be like this?

– “Anyway, we’re not going to wash!”

“Right? Even that’s something even the Head of the Gallery can’t change.”

“Please respect our choices!”

Of course, not every elf was like that.

Especially the so-called Pure Elves, who at least could communicate, though they were fewer in numbers.

Most stubbornly insisted on not washing.

In such a chaotic situation, I reached one conclusion.

[Head of the Gallery] “Sure, you do what you want.”

“Huh?”

“Wha—”

“Head of the Gallery?”

“What’s it to you?”

As long as I ignored them, that would be enough.

Sometimes, even Gallums did something crazy like help out despite their stubbornness.

A prime example was the Gallum who resisted the urge to have a milk bath for its wounds.

But this time, the situation was different.

“It’s not a matter of life and death, after all.”

Just because they weren’t washing didn’t mean they were bothered; why should I care?

I wasn’t going to force them to wash, so I decided to focus on myself and ignore the elves.

Meanwhile, the Gallery was in a frenzy over the new bathing culture, with no concern for them.

– “Why didn’t I realize this sooner?”

– “Ew, first time bathing… jpg”

– “Aaaah, what the hell, this is my body?!”

– “Who knew I could bathe in such clean water?”

– “I love you, Jooddak!”

If they hadn’t lived without knowing cleanliness, it might have been one thing.

But once they realized it, there was no turning back; cleanliness knows no bounds.

– “Ah, my head itches so much!”

– “Is my hair a broomstick or what?!”

– “I had so many lice in my hair, how have I been living all this time?”

The refreshed feeling of bathing and being clean caused many to dive deeper into this new experience.

What used to seem bearable now felt unbearable.

Among these, the worst offenders were dandruff and lice.

Furthermore, humans weren’t elves, so naturally, the grease in their hair was a worry as well.

[Title: Ha ha, just die already!]

(Boiling bath meme)

(Meme of someone diving in headfirst while holding onto a support)

“Lice? Dandruff? Don’t mess with me!”

“How on earth will you guys live like this, lol?”

– “Lol, this is madness!”

– “This person is serious, lol.”

– “For real, I want to kill all these lice.”

“Even saying it’s hard to pronounce just feels wrong.”

As posts started popping up of people going mad, I realized the perfect moment had arrived.

“Now’s the time!”

I pulled out the items I had previously bought from the shop.

However, I wasn’t planning to put them on the marketplace just yet.

First, I needed some advertising models to promote the products well.

[Admin Chat]

Head of the Gallery: “Gather up!”

Pure Elf: “On my way!”

I Will Not Die Even If I Am a Vampire: “What’s going on?”

Head of the Gallery: (Cool shampoo meme)

Head of the Gallery: “Try it out!”

I Will Not Die Even If I Am a Vampire: “What is this?”

Pure Elf: “What’s this all about?”

First, I sprinkled the shampoo on the Deputies.

[You’ve invited the Tuna Can Queen.]

Head of the Gallery: “Hahaha your nickname, lol.”

Tuna Can Queen: “What’s this?!”

Tuna Can Queen: “Who’s responsible for this?!”

Head of the Gallery: “Hahaha!”

Tuna Can Queen: “… I want to leave.”

(Head of the Gallery recommends cool shampoo!)

Tuna Can Queen: “Aw, what?”

Head of the Gallery: “Use it and give feedback!”

Then, personally feeling a bit guilty, I sent some to the Fallen Noble, or rather, Tuna Can Queen.

“Shall we wait for results?”

Though I had originally been lying on my bed, I adjusted into a more comfortable position and smiled.

“Uwaah.”

Inside a certain office in the Elardrien kingdom.

“Ugh…”

With a trembling voice that was hard to understand, one elf was intoxicated with happiness.

With half-open eyes and a dazed expression, it was the Elf Commander and Deputy, Eliana.

“This feeling of having a cool head… It’s amazing!”

While she was soaking in a foldable round bathtub, lathering shampoo in her hair,

One could almost think this was the paradise spoken of by the elves.

No, how could such a product exist?

“It’s as if…”

Having escaped from questions of survival, it felt like something that should have been thought about over hundreds of years on how to live more happily.

It was already her second bath.

With shampoo bubbles bubbling in her hair, Eliana dove under the water.

And dressed up for the finishing touch, a bottle of soju.

“Ah! To finish off, it’s got to be Soju!”

Today was a day she could afford to be lazy!

That rare holiday had graced Eliana as well.

“I love you, Jooddak!”

She slipped into a silk outfit and stepped out into the street.

“I— I want some alcohol…”

“I want to go home…”

And then she spotted the slaves to work and duties.

As she took in these elves, she once again found a happiness nearly bordering on pleasure.

“Um, Commander?”

“Melang?”

Approaching was the Deputy with striking silver hair and a distant gaze, among the zombie-like elves.

Of course, Melang was also on holiday.

“What’s up, you seem… different?”

“Yeah?”

“Somehow… you seem more sparkly…”

Melang quickly found the cause.

It was undoubtedly those luxurious, bouncing locks.

Even running her fingers through, it felt smooth like silk with no tangles.

“What— what is this?”

Melang dropped the cola she had been holding in shock.

In fact, other elves had been feeling similarly since earlier.

While few elves had truly bad hair, this level of beauty was typically unheard of.

Naturally, the passing elves couldn’t help but let curiosity bubble up.

“Did she find something good to use?”

“Did she get a new gift from the World Tree?”

However, the hopes of the elves quickly turned to disappointment.

“Oh, this? I traded it with Jooddak.”

“What?!”

“Oh, uh, it was just a coincidence, yeah, just a coincidence!”

While eager to boast, the Deputy almost slipped up.

But that was the least of their concerns.

“Was it something Jooddak made?”

“Ah…”

Of all things, it had to be something from Jooddak.

And something they had previously pushed aside, insisting it wasn’t useful.

[Head of the Gallery]: “So, how’s the effect? Got any results?”

Tuna Can Queen: (memes of impressed nobles)

Tuna Can Queen: (meme trying to bribe with tuna cans)

“Don’t mention it. You have no idea how many times I’ve been asked about it!”

Head of the Gallery: “Sorry, is it kind of a hassle?”

Tuna Can Queen: “Of course, it was perfect beyond that. Thanks for the gift! ㅇvㅇb”

The effectiveness, needless to say, was flawless.

Evelyn said it was so annoying because she was asked too often, so it was obvious how popular it was.

I Will Not Die Even If I Am a Vampire: “Why wasn’t I asked?”

Head of the Gallery: “Well, you’re alone, aren’t you?”

I Will Not Die Even If I Am a Vampire: “Still…”

Head of the Gallery: “How was it?”

I Will Not Die Even If I Am a Vampire: “Extremely satisfied. It’s the best.”

(Meme of a hand giving a thumbs up)

(Meme showing surprise with a palm open)

That was the same for I Will Not Die Even If I Am a Vampire.

While she wasn’t curious, heck, she got recognition from both her left and right hands.

How nostalgic this felt.

Lastly, the Pure Elf…? Whatever.

As I was thinking about skipping past, a chat message popped up.

Pure Elf: “Anyway, I’m one of those ‘young’ elves who loves washing and bathing!”

Pure Elf: “I was super satisfied with the shampoo, and all the nearby elves were asking too!”

Head of the Gallery: “Have they not asked yet?”

Pure Elf: “Just felt a bit strange, that’s all.”

Even the sharp Elf Deputy had remarked.

If even the elf community that reportedly hated washing was reacting like this, it was a done deal.

In the Gallery, things were currently ablaze over the shampoo gossip.

– “So what’s this shampoo all about, Jooddak?”

– “I’m estimating at least 1,000 mana pills at the least!”

“Dude, are you serious? At least make it 5,000!”

“It doesn’t even smell artificial; it’s so natural, and my hair feels clean?”

“For real, that’s everything.”

“It’s not all done yet, dammit. Do you know how much I spend on perfume just to cover up the smell?”

“???”

Moreover, nobles were famously known for using strong perfume to mask their head odors.

But Evelyn had demonstrated it herself.

Her hair not only looked good and felt fresh, but it also smelled naturally better than any perfume.

– “Take my money, Jooddak!!!”

– “Just sell it! I’ll buy however much!”

As predicted, the explosive reactions ensued.

“This much interest means it’s time to hit the marketplace.”

Having validated the popularity and just about to register it,

– “If you’re going to sell, the marketplace sounds good in my opinion.”

Shouldn’t everyone have fair access to it?

“….Hmm.”

“This guy’s tone seems a bit strange.”

“K, we might need to check his logs.”

“Lol, this guy’s been caught trying to pretend to be an elf, right?”

“Just go back and guard your own souls, lol.”

I decided I wouldn’t register it just yet.

“Something seems off.”

If I were to post it this way, everyone would buy it.

Of course, that includes the elves who insisted not to wash and threatened everyone else.

They got to say what they wanted up front, then come sneak buy it behind my back?

I stopped uploading and wrote a new announcement instead.

[Notice: It’s me, lol.]

Author: Head of the Gallery*

“There have been many requests for shampoo.”

“So I did have some stock prepared.”

(Including cool shampoo and a few others)

“However, if I sell it this way, elves could buy it.”

“Who knows, maybe the elves who have an aversion to cleanliness might [purchase] it [by mistake]?”

“So I’ve decided to change the way I sell it.”

(Meme of the barter exchange board)

“Upload a selfie with your ears visible to the board!”

“If you prove you’re not an elf, I’ll sell it to you, lol!”

[Recommended9999+] [Not Recommended1425]

– “Haha, that’s the way!”

– “Cut off the elves who were blabbering! Hahaha!”

– “What a relief, lol!”

– “This is good~”

– (Meme of an elf making a distorted face)

– “Lol, our elves don’t need such things, huh?”

“Don’t cry, just tell me, lol.”

“Sure~ Don’t ever wash your hair! Haha.”

“We’ll enjoy it all by ourselves, lol.”

“You? You’ve got talent. Just keep your filthy self alive.”

“Seriously, it’s so dirty and disgusting, I won’t use it at all. Even humans have done a lot wrong while always hating on Jooddak as our only target! What’s with the elf’s identity? I also want my hair to look great and feel refreshing like that, but I truly hate you, Jooddak!”

“Hahaha!”

I made the decision to sell the shampoo to everyone except the elves.