Chapter 8

I felt everything related to me deteriorating in real-time.

This situation too.

My physical condition too.

Mentally pushed to the brink, blood rushed to my head, making the back of my neck stiff.

It felt like someone had opened a nightclub in my brain.

The rhythmic pounding in sync with my heartbeat was downright artistic.

“…You don’t look so good. There’s blood on your head.”

The main cause of this was the girl in front of me.

I thought I had managed to brush off the embarrassment on the stairs by rejecting her kindness, but why did she have to come back and inflict more pain on me?

Suppressing the urge to slam the door shut, I asked her.

I just wanted to hear her out quickly and send her on her way.

“It’s stopped. I’m fine, so don’t worry about it.

Why don’t you just tell me why you’re here?”

“…You didn’t come to class today, so I told the professor you might be sick.

Here’s today’s lesson material.”

She pulled out a few sheets of paper from the folder she was holding and handed them to me.

The professor’s notes, copied with magic, were supplemented with her own handwriting, likely to help me catch up on the class I missed.

Her thoughtful consideration was evident.

I silently raised my right hand to take the papers.

Using only one hand might seem a bit rude, but my left hand was already at its limit, gripping the doorknob to support my weight.

Anyway, it seems I really slept the whole day.

But judging by my current state, if I leave things as they are, I might be in serious trouble.

Asking her for help now would probably be the smart choice.

Of course, while I thought that in my head, what came out of my mouth was a rejection.

“Thank you.

If that’s all, could you please leave now?”

“No. I have something else to talk about, so let me in.”

“No.”

Despite her gentle appearance, the girl seemed to have a certain level of determination.

So I responded firmly.

Normally, I’d use the roundabout, aristocratic way of speaking, but I didn’t have the luxury for that now.

I just wanted to go back to bed and lie down immediately.

I hoped she’d understand and leave, but of course, that was too much to ask.

She stiffened her expression for a moment, then said something that turned my hair white.

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Hans, Princess.

You value etiquette and dignity, right? Isn’t treating guests with respect a noble virtue?”

Hans, Hans DiCardi.

The Princess’s crush, first love, and betrayer.

Memories I hadn’t even thought of flooded my mind, making it a chaotic mess.

Happy memories.

Nostalgic past.

Regretful moments.

Disdainful eyes.

Parents who disappeared somewhere.

Me, frozen, unable to grasp the situation.

Servants screaming, sensing their impending doom.

Soldiers in uniforms breaking down the door and storming in.

Kristina grabbing my hand and running.

Her head flying off in an instant.

Blood gushing like a fountain from the severed neck.

Me, standing there dumbfounded, drenched in that red liquid.

Raymond muttering her name over and over, pouring holy power into her.

Soon, Raymond too was riddled with dozens of arrows, collapsing like a hedgehog.

The hate-filled words he spat out as his last words.

A man from the organization emerged from the darkness and grabbed my arm.

He scanned me up and down and muttered indifferently.

The nightmare-like words that still clung to my brain echoed relentlessly.

It’s because of you.

You might be useful.

It’s because of you.

You might be useful.

It’s because of you.

You might be useful.

It’s because of you.

You might be useful.

Stop.

Please, stop.

I clutched my head as if I were about to tear it off.

My breathing became ragged.

I couldn’t tell if this terrible headache and the pain wracking my body were due to my physical condition or a trauma-induced flashback.

The Princess was genuinely screaming.

Using my body as collateral.

Why, of all times, did his name have to come up now, when I’m at my lowest, both physically and mentally?

It felt like curses were about to spill out of my mouth in this situation that couldn’t possibly be unintentional.

Having let go of the doorknob to clutch my head, I naturally lost my balance and tilted over.

The girl, who had been watching me with a panicked expression, hurriedly supported me.

“You really feel like a ball of fire….”

Half of that is because of you.

I felt a bit disgusted by her worried gaze as she held my arm, feeling the heat radiating from me.

I knew it was misplaced anger, but I couldn’t help it.

I bit my lip and roughly pushed her away.

I didn’t think I could push her with my bruised arm, but she quickly let go, perhaps fearing I might hurt myself further.

She sighed as she watched me fall on my backside afterward.

I sat down and took a deep breath.

Trying to sort out the tangled mess in my head.

Blocking the Princess from spilling out.

Anyway, she was right.

I am Remia Adelian.

She valued dignity and honor as her pride and identity.

The person in front of me was essentially her guest.

So, it was only right to treat her with hospitality and show her a proper appearance, even now.

Though it might already be too late.

Pretending to be calm, I spoke to her.

“Come in.”

“…Ah. Yes, excuse me.”

She entered my room with cautious steps.

I hooked my arm on the doorknob again and tried to stand up.

This time, just getting up wasn’t enough.

I couldn’t let her see me crawling on all fours.

I put my left foot down and put my weight on it.

It creaked a couple of times before I felt the sensation fading away from the pain.

No matter how you looked at it, something was seriously wrong in real-time, but I still pretended to be calm and limped forward.

The girl watched me with concern but didn’t approach easily, perhaps because I had just pushed her away.

I offered her a chair and checked the shelf to see if there was anything left.

It would be polite to offer her something, even if it was cheap.

Of course, since I never stocked it, all that was left was dust.

I should’ve asked the maid to prepare something.

I dusted off my hands and turned to her.

“Sorry, *cough*. I don’t have anything to offer you.”

“…It’s fine.”

Standing itself was a burden, and I let out an involuntary groan.

It would be better to let my legs rest soon.

I tried to pull up a chair and sit across from her.

After missing it three times, I gave up and sat on the bed.

Every time I bent my waist, the forgotten rib pain flared up, making it hard to exert any strength.

It’s only now that I realize how weak my body has become.

“*Sigh*… Is it okay if we talk here?”

“Of course it is…. More importantly, don’t mind what I said earlier.

I only said it because I felt like I had to force my way in.”

She seemed restless, unlike when she had asked to be let into the room.

Maybe my condition was worse than I had imagined.

I tried to look fine, but it might have all been in vain.

Now, I didn’t really care anymore, so I changed the subject.

After hearing what I wanted to say, she probably wouldn’t say anything even if I kicked her out.

“So, what did you want to say?

If you’ve heard about me from Hans… you probably don’t have a good impression of me.”

I didn’t get the impression that he’d be going around praising the princess now.

Not that there’s much to praise anyway.

Hans has been through a lot, so he’s probably fed up.

As soon as I thought that, my breathing, which had just calmed down, became uncomfortable again.

…I should probably stop thinking about Hans.

Anyway, I was curious why someone who seemed to be his friend would show such interest in me.

If it’s for a similar reason as Ariana, I might actually understand.

“I saw you being harassed while passing by. I heard the kids’ stares and gossip.

And since you didn’t come to class, I was worried.”

“Worried? What, did you think I’d kill myself or something?”

“…Yes. I thought that might be possible.”

“That’s some negative-minded meddling.”

“…….”

“Why didn’t you step in when I was being bullied? Were you scared?”

But unfortunately, she gave a human response.

Even if there was no hostility, there was still sympathy in it, which made my chest tighten, and I snapped back.

Still, it’s undeniable that she’s human, unlike the trash that rolls around the Academy.

This way, I can’t treat her like I have been.

Why is she doing this to me?

“I didn’t know back then.”

I hoped she’d get fed up with my sharp words.

But as expected, my wish didn’t come true this time either.

“Hans said that if it’s the princess, she wouldn’t care what happens to her.

That she’s as strong as she is twisted.

But after meeting you in person yesterday, I thought you were completely different.”

“…Did he say that?”

Hearing her follow-up, I stopped the thoughts I was having just moments ago.

I’m learning a lot of new things.

I never imagined he’d think of me that way.

There’s no one as mentally weak as the princess, putting up thorns to hide it.

I realized the mismatch in perception.

Thanks to that, I understood some of his actions, but so what?

Time has already passed, and the events have happened.

Nothing can change, nothing can be changed.

I nodded.

I learned that she’s human and what Hans thought.

Now I’ve heard everything, right?

Please just leave my space.

“If that’s all, then I understand. Please leave now.

You came because you were worried about my condition, right?

As you can see, I’m alive and somewhat fine.”

I tried to say it firmly, with that thought in mind.

The girl stared at me blankly, her mouth twitching as if she wanted to say something.

If this doesn’t work, what should I say next?

Should I scream hysterically, saying I’ll die if you don’t leave?

No, if I do that, they’ll probably think I’m even more unstable, so maybe using a blade would be better.

Seeing blood flow in real-time might shock them into leaving.

As I repeated these meaningless thoughts I couldn’t act on, her response was the worst of what I had imagined.

“It’s true I came to check on your condition…

But I can’t leave like this.

You look too… uneasy.”

Now she’s making a face like she’s about to cry.

If the princess were an ordinary human who could say harsh things to someone treating her like this, I wouldn’t be suffering like this now.

What is she even saying?

The princess’s eyes in the mirror on the opposite wall were clearly emotionless.

I can’t deny that she looks haggard and pale, but even that made my face look like an emotionless corpse.

Whether it’s a metaphorical expression or just high empathy.

Either way, she’s really nosy.

Thinking that, all I could do was repeat what I had said like a parrot.

“I don’t need your pity.

I’m fine being alone right now.

I’m really okay, so please leave.”

Instead of answering, the girl raised her hand and grabbed my right wrist, which was resting on the bed.

Even though the princess usually has a low body temperature, her hand felt like ice compared to my boiling body.

“And you’re not feeling well…”

“Let go…”

I tried to pull my hand away with force.

But instead of letting go, she grabbed my left wrist with her other hand and pushed me down onto the bed.

In an instant, she was on top of me.

Her weight on my wrists made it impossible to move, no matter how much I twisted.

I thought she was human, but maybe not.

This position doesn’t bring back good memories. At all.

As my resistance proved futile, my body started to tremble.

Hic, hic. I exhaled ragged breaths, trying to ignore the blurring vision as I clenched my eyes shut.

What came next was a sensation I had experienced thousands of times over the past few years—warm yet terrifying in another sense.

“I’m sorry. I’ll heal you, even if I have to force it.

If I leave you like this, something really bad might happen.”

It was healing magic.

I felt the screams in my body gradually subside.

Unlike the rough healing I experienced in the organization, this was different.

Soft and precise, an unfamiliar touch.

She must be an above-average mage.

Well, if she’s friends with Hans, she’s probably not ordinary.

She’s not trash like Ariana.

As I let out the breath I had been holding, the girl made a strange expression, as if she hadn’t expected me to be so scared.

“My name is Sena Blomberg.”

Then, out of nowhere, she introduced herself.

It was a bit shocking that I hadn’t asked for her name until now, but it still wasn’t the right thing to say in this situation.

Before I could react in any way, she continued.

“…I’ll come see you often from now on.”

I realized that everything I had done up to this point had been in vain.

Why is she really doing this?