Chapter 22

After realizing how late it was, Asulin and I found ourselves gazing at each other as if we had made a silent agreement.

…

We fell silent, and there was no need for anything else between us after such a long conversation.

Especially when that time was a deep, lonely dawn filled only with the sound of cicadas chirping out of season.

Even if our relationship could bring happiness just by looking at each other, it was right for us to lie down together on the bed and seek sleep, considering each other’s bodies.

And if our relationship couldn’t even be called that lightly, it was even more so.

…

Despite seeming like she had nothing more to say, Asulin’s eyes were full of hesitation, revealing her reluctance to speak.

“Asulin.”

“Why…why are you doing this?”

“I think you have more to tell me.”

“…”

“Tell me whatever it is. Don’t hesitate; I want to hear it.”

From the moment she started speaking, I purposefully opened my mouth again, despite having closed it intentionally.

…

Of course, it was expected, but even with such an invitation, Asulin’s lips didn’t open.

Her eyes seemed on the verge of speaking any word, but Asulin hesitated in that situation.

Could it be that this rigid woman, who would rather die than leave unfinished business, hesitates to open her mouth?

Ah, it must be because of that.

I recalled the moment when the conversation reached its peak and then started its descent.

…

Yes, it was certainly from that point that things started going downhill.

After the Succession War, the First Princess, who boldly ascended the throne, showed great magnanimity by embracing half of the opposing camp, despite the fact that some still insisted a few should be made examples of. And so, the Sword Mansion, which I belonged to, was placed under scrutiny.

Even though the head of the household had entrusted the decision to the emperor and the Sword Lord faction before vanishing on the battlefield, they tried to impose responsibility on me, secretly inheriting the position of head of the household from my older brother.

…

As Asulin mentioned this point, she said she had spoken to the emperor at the time.

Even though she and I had recognized each other’s strength and developed feelings through countless battles, she wouldn’t have wanted me to meet such an end.

But to maintain the dignity of the royal family, under the pretext of securing a legitimate successor to inherit the Sword Mansion, she proposed that I be used as a pawn for a strategic marriage akin to abduction.

She argued to the emperor that by completely breaking the will of resistance from the Sword Mansion side, they could somehow incorporate them into the new order.

—

“Isn’t that chilling? Can you believe that a discussion about mortgaging one person’s life for the peace and prosperity of the newly ruling imperial family took place in private?”

—

“Haha.”

…

After recounting all this, Asulin revealed with a voice that felt intentionally sinister that she hadn’t been in her right mind back then.

…

What could I say? Her expression seemed to deliberately try to give me a bad impression, yet instead of feeling resentment, I felt relief.

…

Realizing how narrowly I had escaped with my life, recalling the details of what she had said.

It wasn’t surprising, given that this abduction wasn’t a mutual agreement between the First Princess, now emperor, and Asulin, but rather a result of Asulin’s desperate persuasion to change the princess’s mind, who already had my death in mind.

Naturally, my feelings towards Asulin, who had become more positive over time, were further strengthened by the realization of this new life.

…

But since Asulin disclosed this, her words became scarce, leading to the current silence.

With fewer words, I couldn’t take the lead in the conversation, and the atmosphere in the bedroom turned tranquil, like the calm before a storm.

…

Even amidst this atmosphere, my intuition told me something.

…

Without meeting my gaze, Asulin looked at me with a meaningful gaze, filled with a promise to listen without misunderstanding.

Her hesitant expression changed as soon as it met mine, like clouds parting to reveal the sky.

This resolve cleared away her hesitation, and her expression conveyed a determination.

“Asulin…”

Finally, she spoke heavily.

“Are you… disgusted by me…?”

—

Suddenly, Asulin asked this question, seemingly extending her previous statement.

—

Unable to find words to respond to her sudden question, Asulin interpreted my silence as a form of affirmation.

“Of course… I can understand why…”

She began to confess her sins, feeling responsible for everything that had happened.

“All these events began after treating someone as noble and honorable as you like mere property. How can I say I am not at fault?”

—

Very aristocratic, and there’s no room for negativity here.

Having spent days struggling in alleyways without the luxury to hold anything, compared to the aristocrats who were born holding power, my anger towards their privileged status still lingered.

To her, keeping me as a hostage and bringing me here was an act that completely suppressed my physical freedom, a deeply unjust action.

Thus, she felt guilty for every event that occurred after I stepped into the Sword Mansion.

…

However, I felt that this guilt stemmed from Asulin’s overly clean spirit.

Though I couldn’t be sure if others felt the same way, facing the emperor who threatened to kill me, Asulin acted out of personal motives to save me, even confronting the emperor, whom she had known since childhood.

…

Surely, someone might find her actions disgusting, but given that I owe my life to her, her actions were truly commendable.

“Benefactor.”

“What did you say?”

“You are truly my benefactor. To have someone who tried so hard to save me even against the emperor’s plans, who else could I call a benefactor?”

—

Such gratitude was enough to make me realize how inadequate my earlier words were.

“Your words earlier were somewhat…no, incredibly lacking. Let me express my gratitude again. Thanks to you, I could survive.”

—

Hearing my words, she raised her head to look at me, though her eyes were still trembling.

“Thank you, Asulin.”

—

Expressing my sincere gratitude without ceremony, I felt that I had witnessed one of the most precious moments of the day, even by today’s standards.

—

Looking at Asulin, who said nothing,

—

Yet, tears streamed down her face.

“Sniff… Sniff…”

—

The sobbing that followed was inevitable.

—

As she struggled to regain her composure, she muttered something incomprehensible.

—

Gradually, her sobs subsided, and I could understand her words better.

—

All of her apologies were rooted in her regret for bringing me here.

—

She apologized repeatedly for bringing me here, for the awkward first night, for serving me poor food despite my health, and for taking pride in returning what was rightfully mine.

—

“And when you volunteered to go on the demon hunt, I didn’t stop you, and you almost got seriously hurt. Everything is just so… sorry…”

—

Even though her sobs lessened over time, her emotions conveyed through her words were clear and transparent.

—

Every apology from Asulin made me more certain of her sincerity.

—

Someone who tells a lie can’t fully capture their emotion when speaking, even if they’re skilled at handling their gaze.

—

There was no trace of falsehood in Asulin’s expression as she expressed her remorse.

—

Though she was slightly choked up, her green eyes, reminiscent of emeralds, remained steady as they reflected her tears.

—

It was clear she wasn’t lying.

—

In fact, the false bravado she displayed when bringing me here was the real lie.

—

And even that lie was not driven by malice but by a genuine, honest white lie that left me feeling drained.

—

Seeing Asulin’s unfeigned expression, despite recognizing her role in orchestrating the marriage that made me a hostage,

—

I couldn’t help but feel she was truly noble.

—

Not in the sense of nobility tied to bloodline, but in her actions and words aligning perfectly with her intentions.

—

Even if she didn’t have to care about someone as insignificant as me, her honesty in expressing her remorse touched me deeply.

—

And this made me feel that she was indeed noble.

—

Her noble demeanor evoked another feeling.

—

“…It’s just that I feel bad for apologizing with empty words for the suffering you endured due to my unreasonable stubbornness.”

—

Her willingness to take responsibility and apologize for things that weren’t entirely her fault felt beautiful to me.

—

Even more so, her inner beauty shone through, making her appearance even more striking.

—

So, I stood up.

—

Seeing me suddenly stand up, Asulin’s eyes widened in surprise.

—

This impulse to strongly convey that she didn’t need to feel guilty anymore led me to approach her.

—

And as I slowly moved closer, noticing her red, tear-stained eyes, I wished she wouldn’t cry anymore.

—

After catching my breath, I approached her side.

—

Comparing this moment to any other time, I exhaled carefully, thinking about what to do next.

—

“After all, the things you mentioned later don’t require you to feel guilty towards me.”

—

Kneeling down, I met her eyes and continued.

—

“When we spend time together, there’s no need to feel guilty about the usual things that happen. For example…”

—

Even if it twisted our current relationship, I reassured her that her unnamed guilt was unnecessary.

—

“Wh…what?!”

—

Ignoring Asulin’s shocked reaction, I stretched out my arms and pulled her close.

—

“This kind of thing is better for sorting out right and wrong.”

—

Traditionally, the best way to comfort a crying woman is through shock therapy.

—

Though it might come with some fear of consequences later,

—

…what does it matter? Honestly, seeing Asulin cry is less preferable than her confused response.

—

“Wait! Clo…close! Hic!”

—

Rather than her crying, her startled reaction to my unexpected move felt more like her.

—

This was enough.

—

Feeling no guilt, I preferred seeing a girl I liked cry less than her confusion.

—

“Wait! Close! Hic!”

—

Even though this was an intentional shock therapy,

—

Why does my heart race as much as hers does?

—

Is it fear of the backlash, or is something else causing this?

—

At this moment, the answer remains elusive.