Chapter 563

Chapter 185 Shades of Gray – Ten

Archbishop Ansheel’s reprimand echoed across the ridge, and nearby priests who heard it turned their heads in its direction. Some had just used force against the townspeople, while others were preparing to descend the mountain path to clean up the fragmented corpses. Upon hearing the question, “Why did you do this? Do you not have the slightest awareness?” their steps involuntarily paused, and they looked back.

In their eyes, there was some hesitation and pain.

They felt that those words were not only directed at one particular monk but also at all of them.

Of course, they all had such awareness.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t be here.

As elite members of the Faith Order, chosen from among nearly a million monks in the Holy Church, they had undergone an extraordinary confirmation ceremony hosted by the Pope on their first day. Everyone standing here today had once knelt before the sacred cross symbolizing love and salvation, vowing unwavering loyalty to the great deity.

[I dedicate my life and soul to the Church, willing to sacrifice myself for the supreme truth, to become a saint needed by the people, never to betray, break faith, or deviate, always remaining loyal to the Church, without regret.]

Such vows were deeply etched in their hearts.

That was why they stood here today.

They stood here because they upheld their former vows and had firm faith supporting them. Even if they had to forsake the dignity and sense of shame of being holy officials and point the holy spear at innocent civilians, they always believed that the supreme truth would always stand with them, with the Church.

They were the most devout followers of the Holy Church.

And now, what they were doing could potentially lead humanity to take a historically significant step forward.

For this, they were willing to pay any price, endure any pain.

They had such awareness.

But even so, when they saw the civilians being torn apart by divine miracles and falling in pools of blood, and realized they had caused this tragedy themselves, despite their efforts to suppress their emotions, they maintained a resolute and unshakable attitude in front of their companions and Archbishop Ansheel. However, deep down, struggles, self-reproach, pain, and doubts—these negative emotions still surfaced.

Everyone experienced this.

Hearts are made of flesh; no one is born with a heart of stone. Some of them were quite young, having seen death scenes before, but causing everything themselves, if it was their own hands that killed the unarmed, innocent civilians who should have been protected…

No one would not feel pain.

No one would not feel intense self-doubt.

They were not evil.

Doing such things already went against everyone’s will and even their original intentions—they were truly suffering.

Suffering and deeply confused, but driven by their firm faith, they continued to act.

They had awareness, long ago.

They had it, and the young monk being reprimanded had it too. After Archbishop Ansheel’s stern and harsh words, that awareness, like a flood breaking through a dam, surged out along with the complex emotions accumulated over time, severe self-denial, and doubt, unable to be suppressed any longer.

In everyone’s gaze, the young monk’s face suddenly flushed red, his eyes welling up with tears. His voice choked up as he said, “Your Excellency, I am a devout believer loyal to the Church. I come from the Gestr family of the Holy City, and my father is the Bishop of the Albedo region. Our family has served the great deity for ten generations. I swore before the sacred cross, received baptism from the Pope himself, and am a member of the Faith Order. The awareness I hold today in my heart is as noble as yours.”

Hot tears rolled down the young monk’s face.

He looked at Archbishop Ansheel’s aged and stern face and cried, “I understand why we must do this, and I am not negligent. The monk I sent to investigate the heretics’ movements is my best friend and most trusted companion. He has a steadfast and devout heart, and his awareness is no less than anyone else’s here. That’s why I entrusted him with the most important task. The order was given last night, and he led people toward the direction of the heretics, but until now, three hours have passed without any contact…”

His eyes were already red, and his voice choked up even more: “I know he has returned to the embrace of the deity, Your Excellency Ansheel. I know… it was that damned heretic who found him and killed him… They must have used that bead to drain his blood… I… am not without awareness… I intended to confirm it myself… but… I fear that upon seeing the heretics, I might not be able to hold back and fight them… I fear that my poor emotions might really ruin everything…”

“Your Excellency Ansheel, my faith has never wavered for a moment… I am not without awareness… I did participate in killing those civilians just now… I am not without such awareness, I was just thinking… whether there might be a better way… perhaps we could save them, and then, under the watchful eye of the great deity, execute those evil ones with honor…”

The novice monk’s sobs were not loud, but his words grew intermittent towards the end. Yet, these words penetrated everyone’s hearts deeply. Many monks looked at him, their eyes moistening, and their fists clenched involuntarily.

Archbishop Ansheel’s expression remained solemn.

After a long while, his gaze softened.

“Do not be sad, child.”

The old man gently patted the young monk’s shoulder. At the same time, he noticed the emotions of the other members of the faith group around him. He knew that these young people in his eyes were holding back their feelings, and their emotions were already unstable. However, there was no time for any delay.

So, Elder Ansheel thought for a moment and then spoke about another matter: “Actually, before I came here, I had an audience with His Holiness the Pope.”

While speaking, he turned to face the group of monks and raised his voice: “His Holiness deeply appreciates your efforts and your determination. Every step we take from now on will receive his attention. Moreover, he has some words for you.”

The old man paused.

“He wants to tell you that reaching this point is something no one wanted to see. If possible, he hopes no one has to die, whether it’s you or those civilians. No one should be harmed. This is his hope, as well as the sacred church’s aspiration for thousands of years: no disputes, no wars. The abyss and demons will never appear again, and humanity can enjoy lasting peace.”

“This is also what I hope for, and I believe it is what each and every one of you hopes for too. Let all the children of the gods live in peace and prosperity, free from disasters and demonic invasions. Let events like the Valen disaster, the recent turmoil in the capital, and last night’s incident in Bucktown never happen again.”

As he spoke, he observed the monks’ emotions. Seeing that they seemed to have stabilized slightly, and the young monk beside him was no longer sobbing and was slowly listening to his words, he changed his tone: “But… there is no such good thing in this world.”

The old man’s clouded but sharp eyes swept over the group of clergy members, then settled on the young monk beside him, looking at his red eyes.

“From the invasion of the alien races to human counterattacks, from the era of divine presence to the establishment of the church, from the division of North and South to the standoff between East and West continents, our civilization has been established for more than a thousand years. The fire of tradition has never been interrupted, but the war has never stopped. Peace cannot be achieved just because we want it; there are always disputes wherever we go.”

“You are all the elite of the faith group, the backbone of the holy church in resisting evil. Each of you is very strong, but at the same time, you are also very young. You are devout believers, willing to dedicate your honor and even your lives to your faith. I do not doubt this at all, but stripped of your clerical robes, you are just ordinary people, ordinary fathers. And I am just an ordinary old man.”

“Our wishes are as insignificant as dust in this world, and so is our power. Even the power of the church is limited. We may not be able to truly prevent the things we strive to stop, and the things we try to prevent will eventually happen.”

Archbishop Ansheel said this and slowly exhaled.

He looked at the quiet and attentive monks around him, seeing the repressed emotions in their eyes. Those emotions became increasingly suffocating under the slow and clear words of the old archbishop.

“Not long ago, at the Mosley coast, the Third and Sixth Knight Orders suffered a complete defeat. The defense line was forced to retreat to Atien City. I did not participate in that battle, but I know how fierce it was. You may have heard the news. Now, I tell you that the Holy Church’s Third Knight Order was annihilated in that prolonged battle. Captain Nick Williams died in action. The southern regions of Silgayan were affected by the war, and numerous villages and towns were massacred, a heart-wrenching number of them, all within the span of a month.”

“In this month, His Holiness the Pope worked day and night, coordinating with the Holy City, negotiating with the Republic, and dealing with internal conflicts within the coin bank. He issued various directives. He tried his best, the church tried its best, and we all tried our best, but as you can see, the heretics still managed to reach here.”

The old man showed a sorrowful expression: “They are like bloodthirsty devils, turning every place they go into barren land, killing everyone, draining their blood, feasting on livestock, and even human flesh. They are a terrifying group of demons who should not exist in this world, but the war between the church and the Gate of Truth has continued for centuries, and they have never been completely eradicated.”

“The reason is that they possess the power of inferno and have immortal bodies. Such power prevents us from eradicating the demons. They always rise from the ashes, and countless people throughout the centuries have been unable to resist the temptation of the demons, gaining new strength day after day, year after year.”

“This has happened countless times. Countless children of the gods have fallen under the blades of those devils, becoming their food.”

He paused: “But that is not your fault.”