Chapter 180

Chapter 152: Go Check on Her

“Last night, I encountered the Gate of Truth…”

I struggled to calm myself down, pressing down the intense unease and fear deep within my heart, and told Victoria in a disjointed manner what had happened last night. I told her that the people from the Gate of Truth launched a suicide attack on me, using the fires of sin to shatter their own bodies. At that time, I was already somewhat disoriented, and couldn’t recall much after that, only vaguely remembering stumbling home.

That’s all I could tell her.

After finishing, I felt even more anxious and uneasy, because I was lying… or rather, hiding something. Although the scene last night was chaotic, with the houses burning due to the sin fires, thick smoke filled the entire street, making the dead smoke less noticeable. But I’m not sure if anyone saw everything from beginning to end. Back then, I didn’t care about such matters; I was indifferent to the idea of being exposed.

But now it’s different. I’m worried that civilians might have seen me surrounded by the dead smoke, scared to death. I’m afraid someone will report it to Victoria, and she will ask me what happened. I can’t explain it to her. Victoria is too smart; she can think of things others can’t, and I… I don’t have confidence in fooling her.

Victoria didn’t ask anything.

She listened quietly for a moment, then nodded gently at me: “I understand.”

Then she stood up and walked towards the bedroom door. This cold reaction was unexpected.

“Victoria…”

My mouth involuntarily called out her name, and Victoria paused, turning back to wait quietly for my next words.

But I didn’t know what to say, so after some hesitation, I stammered: “Your hair is messy…”

“I know,” she replied, taking another step forward.

I immediately said: “Wait, Cata…—”

But as soon as I mentioned her name, Victoria seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, interrupting me immediately.

“Reckert is investigating. Rest first, I’ll tell you the progress this afternoon.”

I shook my head lightly: “I want to go…”

“Rest.”

The door slammed shut.

Victoria left the bedroom, and the room fell silent.

I stared blankly at the ceiling.

… This woman really doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. She doesn’t even know how to be nice to others… The act of feeding me was actually quite frightening, completely unlike something Victoria would do… Such things should be done by the maid, isn’t time important to you? Why waste it on this?

Victoria… might be surprisingly clumsy in some areas.

Is the queen also just a person?

Tick, tick.

All I could hear was the soft sound of the clock hands moving.

After a while, I moved my body to the edge of the bed, slowly got up, and then leaned against the wall, unsteadily walking into the bathroom—solving the problem at hand.

After changing into a new sanitary pad, I lay back on the bed again, obediently covering myself with the blanket.

I actually wanted to go to Cata… to confirm the situation… but I felt dizzy and weak.

I need rest.

If it were any other day, I would definitely force myself to go! But today…

“Hu—”

I let out a light sigh, feeling slightly warm.

I felt terrible, the long-forgotten sensation of illness swept through my body, I couldn’t do anything today… I couldn’t do anything…

No, I was just scared.

I was scared of myself last night.

Now I have very clear memories, I clearly realize that I was terrifying back then.

But what frightened me even more was that I didn’t realize how terrifying I was at that time.

That wasn’t a so-called “losing control,” becoming irrational, losing my mind…

The mad shell. At that time, I had very clear consciousness and thoughts, my memory was never in disarray. I knew very well what I was doing—I was merely following the strong desire to destroy from deep within my heart, wanting to kill. Not just the heretics, I even wanted to kill others, many more people, extremely desiring to do so.

And this desire…or rather, this emotion, I could vividly remember it, but I did not know where it came from. That terrifying, uncontrollable impulse suddenly erupted from the depths of my heart, filled with extreme twisted hatred, and submerged me in an instant.

That unforgettable hatred…absolutely, absolutely couldn’t be just because of something that happened three years ago in the Valen Empire. I recalled that past, now Edward is already dead…this hatred is not my emotion.

Is it due to the influence of the Abyss…because I suppressed myself for too long…

I don’t know. But I am really afraid of becoming that way again, truly afraid. I don’t know what to do, such things, I dare not tell anyone.

No one can discuss with me, I can only silently endure alone…before my body recovers, I dare not make any moves.

So today…Victoria will have to worry about it. With her around, there shouldn’t be any problems.

I don’t want to recall last night’s events.

But Abel’s appearance was really strange, he might…have some connection with the Door of Truth.

I don’t quite believe he is part of the Door of Truth, although when I first met him, he was just a thug trying to rob me…but he isn’t the kind of person who would harm others, he just wants to live. However, through last night’s events, I realized that Abel…and the Cata Loma Orphanage must be related to the Door of Truth.

If not, how could a note written by a lonely child be exposed, no one would care.

He must know something…the heretics don’t want me to know.

Thinking of this, I couldn’t help but worry about him. Last night…if only I had properly questioned those heretics…last night…wait, the note…

Suddenly, I widened my eyes.

Who knew that Abel had given me a note…only…

“Victoria…”

I struggled to get out of bed, enduring that dizzy and nauseous feeling, swaying as I walked to the bedroom door. With a creak, I pushed it open, took a deep breath, and with all my strength, shouted loudly: “Vi-to-ria!”

I hope she hasn’t left.

“Victoria!”

“…Ugh—!”

Shouting with all my might made me feel even more nauseous, my head spun even more.

One step, two steps…it’s just a staircase, you can do it, Papal Knight Hildegard…

But reality isn’t a comic, a strong will cannot affect a weak body. I only went down less than ten steps when my legs suddenly softened, one foot slipped, and I crashed down with a clatter.

“…Ah!”

A mournful cry.

I fell down the stairs, my whole body ached, stars filled my vision.

…It hurts so much.

“Victoria…” My mouth emitted a murmur.

No one answered.

Victoria might have returned to her own residence…or even gone to the palace. But no matter what, I must crawl to deliver the message to her…

“…What are you doing.”

A cold, clear voice sounded beside my ear. I was overjoyed, struggling to open my eyes wider…I saw the exquisite face I imagined.

Victoria is still here, she bent down and helped me up.

“Weren’t you supposed to rest?”

She said, but at this moment, I couldn’t care about these things.

I spoke with difficulty to her: “Teresa…it’s Teresa…only she knows…go check on her…”