〈 Chapter 263 〉 Chapter 257 – Bullshit (2)
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To prove I’m a wolf beastman, I have to shout some bullshit.
If I don’t do it right, those anal beads will come for me.
‘Choco Hyung, give me strength!!!’
[Prove that you’re a dog!!!］
Quickly spinning my head, I thought of countless pieces of bullshit.
I began to blurt out the nonsense I knew as much as I could.
“Elf Coin is a safe asset!”
“Next.”
In an instant, Elcia flinched.
She probably wanted to strongly refute my bullshit.
But honestly, anyone could tell it was bullshit.
Meanwhile, with the Holy Knight Deputy Commander’s comment about it being ridiculous, the anal beads kept spinning.
It felt like they were scolding me for not doing better.
I quickly threw out the next piece of bullshit.
“Raising kids without vaccinations is the best way to parent!”
“Hmm. This level is basic.”
The Holy Knight Deputy Commander nodded as if he agreed.
I felt a little disappointed by the lack of reaction.
But at least I’d stopped the spinning of the anal beads.
Without delay, I continued.
“It hurts, so it’s youth!”
“That’s alright… Not bad.”
Now the fierce momentum of the Holy Knight Deputy Commander seemed to have eased up a bit.
I could feel the flow shifting my way.
“The Earth is flat!”
“Good. Keep going.”
He was starting to take an interest in what I was saying.
Seems like he wanted to hear just how far I could go.
To meet that expectation, I went a little bolder this time.
“You can’t arrest people in duel!!!”
“Oh ho. Remarkable.”
The Holy Knight Deputy Commander looked slightly surprised.
As if he’d never heard such bullshit before.
But I couldn’t just be satisfied here, so I boldly made my move.
“NC’s BM is perfect without intervention!”
“What kind of flawless bullshit is this!!!”
The Holy Knight Deputy Commander couldn’t hide his impression and let it show.
It was a daring line that worked out well.
At that moment, Piece spoke to me in a worried voice.
[Be careful. They say it’ll cost 4 billion to sue there.］
‘Watch your mouth. No matter how bad it gets, they shouldn’t fabricate things about me.’
[Hmm… Was it just a rumor?］
I flared up at Piece’s words.
Being sued for defamation of character could happen, I suppose.
But spreading false information is a no-go.
That’s a lie.
‘There’s no way they’d sue after spending 4 billion, right? They must have some brains.’
[Well, if they aren’t idiots, there’s no way they’d do that.］
Anyway, my bullshit was quite effective.
Even the surrounding Holy Knights were gaping with very shocked expressions.
So this time, I decided to drop some nonsense aimed at the knights.
Bullshit that would resonate with their sentiments.
“Military food is better than prison food!”
“Good! Awesome! Excellent!”
Then Piece raised a question towards me.
[Isn’t this an accurate statement?］
‘Of course not. Think about it.’
[Why’s that?]
‘The military has all kinds of folks, but prisons have high-ranking officials going there all the time.’
[Oh.]
The impressed Holy Knight Deputy Commander slowly started clapping.
At the same time, the surrounding Holy Knights followed his lead and applauded.
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
“……So amazing… I’m moved.”
“In prison, they feed them moist food daily, but we only get dry food!”
“I heard they even give them treats! What about us!”
“…That wolf beastman… I want him…”
“At that level, shouldn’t he be recognized as an Honorary Mysterious Dragon Clan member!”
Some even shed tears.
As the voices of the Holy Knights grew louder, the Holy Knight Deputy Commander showed no signs of stopping them.
In fact, it seemed like letting them carry on just stoked their fire.
It looked like he had his own buildup, as he empathized with it.
At that moment, a single tear flowed from the Holy Knight Deputy Commander’s eye.
“Sniff! This is the first time I’ve shed tears since that first experience!”
‘Damn, why’s that bastard spouting such nonsense.’
[…That’s some bullshit to rival your nonsense.］
Then the Holy Knight Deputy Commander wiped his tears, laughed at me, and requested,
“Prove that you’re a wolf beastman with your last piece of nonsense!”
Touched enough to even call me ‘you sly dog.’
It seemed he had somewhat recognized my nonsense.
Honestly, being recognized by these assholes felt kinda lame.
But at least the initial crisis was completely over.
Not bad.
[So what will it be this time?］
‘Gotta target the Beastman Kingdom.’
Now, the flow of the current scene was in my hands.
To turn this flow into a mighty wave and crash down upon them.
I shouted my final earnest piece of nonsense.
“Even in the Beastman Kingdom, raping men is a clear crime!!!”
“Hahahahaha!!!! That’s right!!! Might makes right, so your words are the best bullshit!!!”
The Holy Knight Deputy Commander clapped again and laughed heartily.
In contrast, my emotions were boiling over.
But I barely managed to hide them, putting on a smile as a mask.
‘Rape isn’t a crime? Should I just kill these bastards here?’
[You better hold on, you dog.］
‘Damn dog, for real.’
As the applause from the surrounding Holy Knights got louder,
The Holy Knight Deputy Commander laughed for a while, then turned to me.
“Finally, you can now proudly be called a member of the Beastman Kingdom!!!”
“Thank you for your words. It’s all thanks to you, Holy Knights.”
“To have such dignity and humility! Even if you’re a dog beastman, there’s much to learn from you!”
The Holy Knight Deputy Commander kept pouring out compliments.
He momentarily repressed his overflowing emotions, then smiled gently at me and spoke.
“I believe you. You are a wolf beastman after all.”
[……So you survived.］
‘Damn, this is really tiring.’
Soon, the Holy Knight Deputy Commander took a step closer, his eyes shining like a student seeking knowledge.
“That was a great piece of nonsense! Where on earth did you learn that?”
“From Earth.”
“Earth? That filthy place where heterosexuals abound?”
A puzzled look crossed the Holy Knight Deputy Commander’s face.
And silently demanded an explanation for why I went to Earth.
To meet that requirement, I calmly recounted.
“On Earth, there’s so much to learn from dog and beastman that I had no choice but to study abroad.”
“To seek knowledge risking your own downfall! What a noble soul!”
“Thank you for the praise. I’m at a loss for words.”
But now it was time to part from these gay bastards.
Honestly, I didn’t want to deal with these guys anymore.
I slightly bowed my head and began to slowly step back.
“I believe I’ve taken up too much time from your noble selves. I shall take my leave.”
“Wait a moment.”
The Holy Knight Deputy Commander suddenly stopped my actions.
I suspected I had done something wrong.
“Are you going to properly elevate your status tonight?”
So I’d indeed done something wrong.
And it was truly so.
Damn.
‘Ah, this damn gay bastard!’
[You really should’ve held back!］
‘Damn damn damn damn damn damn!’
As he said that, the Holy Knight Deputy Commander slowly reached out his hand toward me.
No way.
Absolutely not.
In a moment of mental breakdown, I instinctively smacked away the Holy Knight Deputy Commander’s hand.
Whack!
“……Why are you rejecting me?”
Suspicion glinted in the Holy Knight Deputy Commander’s eyes.
I spoke so passionately at the end that it backfired on me.
The crisis returned again.
[How are you going to sort this out!］
‘But I can’t let that bastard touch my body!’
[……That much is true.］
At that moment, Hyeji waved her hand, sending me a quick signal.
【Bunker Buster incoming.】
【Let’s do that later.】
But using it here felt a bit off.
At least I wanted to gather Caressy before using it.
[Then will you use that thing you brought?］
‘Not right now.’
Asking to use what I prepared before coming to the Beastman Kingdom isn’t ideal either.
I could assure it would be effective, but
a minimum amount of preparation was needed.
“Explain your reason!”
“……Reason…you mean.”
“That’s right!!! Come on!!!”
At that moment, a thought flashed through my mind.
If done right, not only could I get through this crisis now,
but also prevent the Holy Knights from touching even a hair on us,
and ultimately, find a way to the cathedral without issues.
Then Piece solemnly echoed the words I had said to Hyeji earlier.
[Remember, the opportunity only comes once.］
‘I’ve always had just one chance.’
The rejected Holy Knight Deputy Commander now began to show his anger.
“Why are you rejecting me!!! What am I lacking!!!”
“You lack nothing. It simply means that I should not touch the Holy Knights.”
Then the Holy Knight Deputy Commander clenched his fist and raised it toward the sky, shouting loudly.
“Is it because of human disease! I can easily overcome that!”
“That’s not it. It’s something far worse.”
“What’s that even mean!!! Speak up quickly!!!”
“I’ll tell you right now. It is.”
I immediately bowed my head significantly lower than before and murmured as if in distress.
“My sins run too deep.”
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