[Tina… I really can’t live without you…]
In fact, I had regained consciousness a while ago.
A pounding headache.
A throbbing body.
With the feeling of my submerged consciousness slowly rising to the surface, the pains in my body had long since started to register in my head.
Even when I initially cut my wrist, I was half convinced I wouldn’t die. It was an action I had done several times before. I knew enough about where to cut to die and where to cut to feel a lot of pain.
Besides, being from a Duke’s family, surely there would be medical talent available. I had only superficially cut a somewhat safe vein while avoiding the deadly arteries, so I expected to receive treatment within an hour.
If my prediction was wrong… then I would have been dead, wouldn’t I?
But regardless, here I was, alive and well.
[Tina… Tina…]
My mind was perfectly awake.
Yet the reason I still lay here with my eyes closed and motionless was simple.
[Tina… please wake up…]
My mother’s voice calling for me was too earnest.
The sound of someone calling me was so sweet.
Wanting to feel a little more of that deep affection in her heart, I continued to act as if I was asleep.
Honestly, I wanted so badly to open my eyes and return to the Baron family with my mother, but I couldn’t let my guard down.
Previously, my mother had approved of Viviana taking me to the Duke of Merdellia. I sensed that Viviana might have threatened her in some way, but if she found out I was fine, she might just leave me here again.
No matter how much wealth I could extract from this place, I didn’t want to be near a maid who called me a whore or someone who was gradually getting sick of me.
I was a hideous monster that couldn’t live without someone’s affection, so this place was nothing short of hell for me.
So I dashed past my mother towards the mirror. I decided to directly show her just how harmful this place was for me so she wouldn’t want to leave me here anymore.
Talking to my childhood friend wouldn’t appear sane to others at least. Even my mother in my previous life often felt disgusted by my behavior.
“Ah, ah… Tina…”
Sure enough, my mother collapsed to the ground in despair. Her trembling blue eyes seemed unable to accept the situation.
She must think I had gone crazy. My mother in my previous life thought the same way.
But I wasn’t crazy. The clear evidence was staring back at me from the mirror.
[Are you using me? That’s a bit hurtful.]
A girl who looked just like me spoke from the mirror. The only difference was that she had a dark black cross embedded in her blue eyes.
‘Can’t you let this slide just this once?’
[…Hmph, I’m only letting it slide because it’s you.]
I clasped the hands we met through the mirror and smiled brightly. My precious friend who had always been by my side when I was struggling, lonely, or in solitude. I felt overwhelming joy flooding my heart as I thought I had regained her.
“T-Tina…”
I heard my mother’s broken voice. Looking away from the mirror, I turned to see my mother staring at me with reddened eyes.
Her gaze, filled with pure and vivid affection, made my heart melt. I wasn’t curious about why she was here. The fact that she was here was all that mattered.
“…Mother.”
“T-Tina…”
My mother rushed to me and pulled me into her arms. The soft cushion of her chest supported my face, and her warm embrace surrounded me.
Feeling her love after such a long time, I nearly let out a weak moan without realizing it.
“Um… I want to go home… I’m so tired…”
“Y-yeah… let’s go home… let’s go home and take a good rest with Mama…”
Artasha anxiously patted my back. Her movements, trying to hug me a bit tighter, carried a desperate desire to comfort me.
‘…I’m sorry for being a burden, Mother.’
But my mother sent me here, didn’t she?
So she shares some of the blame too.
“T-Tina!”
How long had it been since I was held in her arms? Suddenly, the door swung open, and from it appeared a familiar woman.
She had beautiful purple eyes glimmering among her long, dark hair. Viviana looked much more gaunt than the last time I saw her.
I didn’t know.
Whether it was intentional on my part or something my instincts triggered, my body started to tremble like a quaking aspen the moment I met Viviana’s eyes. Automatically, my gaze dropped to the ground, and my breath began to roughen.
Noticing the obvious strangeness in my body, my mother pulled me in even tighter, sharing her warmth with me.
“T-Tina, I have something to tell you.”
Viviana forced a smile. It was a fragile, ambiguous grin not worthy of anyone’s attention. It was a face that didn’t suit someone like her who had always exuded an elegant atmosphere.
“…What is it?”
“I did it for you. Since you kept wearing a mask around me, I acted mean to bring out your honest self.”
Like water endlessly flowing from a dam that had burst, Viviana continued speaking with a lost look in her eyes.
“I could never get tired of you. Tina, you are so adorable. Saying I was tired of you was just me revealing my true self only when psychologically pressured… it was a feeling not meant to be taken seriously. What Iris said was not her true intent either—.”
…Why was it?
I felt worse now than when Mardian assaulted me.
She urgently continued to explain herself. But to me, everything sounded like just a mere excuse.
“Tina, so what I did was—”
“Viviana.”
I couldn’t bear to listen anymore. As I interrupted her, Viviana waited for my words with a look of shock.
I briefly pondered what to say.
But again, I realized I didn’t have much to say to her.
“Can I go back home?”
Viviana’s purple eyes flinched. It seemed as if she wanted to hold onto me, her lips hesitated to move, yet a voice never came out.
Could she even say no in this situation? No way would someone like Viviana, who had her own beliefs, forcibly stop me from leaving in this scenario.
“Your Highness, I will take my daughter with me.”
As my mother added her disdain-filled remark to my words, Viviana had no choice but to bow her head in defeat.
“…But wouldn’t it be better to stay here until you’re fully healed?”
“We have excellent physicians in our Baron family, so while I appreciate the consideration, I wish you would stop meddling in our affairs.”
My mother’s words were unyielding enough to seem cold. It was quite rare for her to show such sharp thorns towards someone, but it seemed she had grown particularly resentful towards Viviana from this incident.
Yet, despite my mother’s strong opinion, Viviana was still blocking the door.
Seeing how she didn’t seem about to move aside, I calmed my trembling body and stood up.
My mother looked at me with a worried expression from behind, but I left her a reassuring smile and approached Viviana.
“…Viviana, do you honestly know that I really liked you?”
Viviana’s purple eyes widened in shock, and a faint light filtered through them as they finally lost their deep gloom.
I whispered softly, close enough for her to hear, “The person who first let me touch her bottom was you, Viviana…”
Of course, Mardian had done worse, but that was forced, so it didn’t count.
“And you’re the first person I’ve been with for a long time.”
“Tina…”
“That’s how special you are to me… If only we could have spent a little more good time together, I might have relied on you for everything, Viviana.”
Viviana took hold of my hand. Soon, a faint hope shimmered in her once-hopeful but now dim eyes.
…I’m sorry, Viviana.
I can’t give you what you want.
“If that’s the case, then—.”
“But… Viviana, I don’t feel anything for you anymore.”
“…Huh?”
“I just feel uncomfortable now. The memories of the past only hurt me.”
I felt Viviana’s trembling through our clasped hands. Her eyes, once filled with hope, had grown dark again. The flicker of life in Viviana’s eyes had become a sight worth seeing but now it was time to put an end to it.
“I don’t want to see you anymore, Viviana. Honestly, I preferred it when I was with Mardian.”
With that, all light vanished from Viviana’s eyes.
My mother, who had come near, held onto me and glared at Viviana.
Viviana hopelessly lowered her head, then took a step back and vacated her spot.
I took one last look at Viviana’s hollow, decayed eyes and left the room with my mother without any lingering feelings.
Goodbye, Viviana.
Let’s end our connection… here.
