Chapter 183

I quietly opened the door and sat back down in front of the piano.

Then, I slammed the piano keys with all my might.

“No, this isn’t it! This isn’t it!”

And from the living room, a voice came.

“Ugh, why is she acting like that again?”

“Seriously, she seems insane…”

So, I pretended to be grumpy and scribbled harsh lines on the staff paper.

“No! That’s not it!”

Woo-ah Unni looked equally baffled.

“Unni, did Do-hee and Seven do this at the dorm too?”

“No? Back then, there were seven of us, and there was no space for a piano! And if they had, Chae-rin would’ve gone crazy.”

I glanced at Seo-yoon Unni.

Then, I slammed the piano keys again.

“Ugh, close the door and play! What are you doing with the soundproof booth installed?!”

“I’m telling you, this is not it!”

“Aah!”

Seo-yoon Unni sprang from her seat, with Woo-ah Unni trying to hold her back.

“Unni, let her be~ She wants to show off her new piano. She says it’s super expensive.”

“No way, she’s doing that on purpose, looking at me! We just made eye contact!”

“Well, yeah. Why did you turn off the light when Do-hee was taking a shower this morning?”

“What are you talking about? She turned it off first!”

“Huh? That was Chiyo’s doing, right?”

— تون تودو تودو

And Chiyo Unni ran to her room and locked the door.

— Bang bang!

“Hey, aren’t you opening the door!?”

“Gomen…!”

“Open up!”

“Gomen nasai…!”

Meanwhile, Na-eun Unni walked in with a teacup, wearing a relaxed smile as if she had reached enlightenment.

“Do-hee, are you feeling stressed lately?”

Thanks to her, my rationality and logic returned.

“No, just… the melody just isn’t coming to me at all.”

I couldn’t admit I wanted to pretend to be a tormented genius.

“I see, that must be tough.”

“Uh… a little?”

“This is chamomile tea, good for calming the mind and body. Drink it, I’ve added just a bit of honey since I know you like that.”

Then, Na-eun Unni stood behind me, tidying my messy hair.

“Wow, thank you! I’ll try harder again.”

“Yeah, take it slow. You still have plenty of time.”

Na-eun Unni left, and the door closed again.

Alright, let’s get back to brainstorming the melody.

I stared at the staff paper in front of me.

Who knows how many days I’ve just been staring at this staff?

— Click

“Alright, first a selfie.”

Title 1: Dohee the Classic Artist.

Title 2: Classic, Romantic, Tormented Do-hee Lee.

Subtitle: Me drawing ink meticulously onto the staff.

Anyway, it was a rare relaxing Sunday.

The reason I was stubbornly scribbling on the staff paper instead of going home was simple.

To write a piano piece.

Debonair’s first group meeting.

After hearing everything about the group name, concept, and double title, I separately received a suggestion from Director So-hyun.

I had a separate suggestion come in.

It was to write a song.

“Wait, a track for the album?”

“Yeah, but it’s not just any track.”

The Team Leader pointed at the tablet.

There were numerous detailed drawings on the screen.

“Whoa, what is this?”

“This is the Debonair concept trailer. This is the storyboard I came up with together with the Director.”

In other words, they were asking if I’d be willing to compose the first soundtrack that would be publicly released, used in our concept trailer video.

“Of course, it’s okay if Do-hee doesn’t do it.”

The song was already prepared.

It’s high-quality house genre EDM.

“But there are some scenes in the storyboard I want to change. Do-hee, I really want to highlight your identity. So if possible, would you like to try writing a piano piece yourself?”

*

In conclusion, I was sitting there all day, pulling my hair out.

“Ahhhh!”

Not a tormented genius.

It’s true—I’m not a genius.

I’m an idiot.

“Whew, she’s gone crazy again.”

It’s not that no song has ever been written in a few hours or a short couple of days.

In fact, if you search for pieces by masters, you’ll find it’s quite common.

Brilliant inspiration can strike anyone.

Maybe it’ll come to me someday.

But not today.

And that’s only natural.

Most of the masterpieces are the result of long periods of struggle, torment, and anguish.

Inspiration is mostly just fragments, so it can’t be helped.

I have to fill out the melody for Part A with inspiration.

Then there’s the repetitive task of worrying about the continuing Part B.

“Musicians suffer from depression and self-doubt for a reason.”

The silver lining, though, was that the difficulty of this composition was relatively low.

Since it’s a piano piece, I only need to think about the keys I’ve played countless times without considering other instruments.

The song will be as short as the trailer, about 2 minutes.

Also, there’s a storyboard from which I can directly visualize and conceptualize the piece.

Despite that, the problem is…

“Ughhhh!”

“Still can’t come up with a melody.”

“Do-hee, it’s time for dinner.”

In the end, Na-eun Unni came in.

“Ahhh! Unni, I think I’m going crazy!”

“Yeah, you really do seem crazy.”

I jumped up from my seat and jumped onto the bed behind me.

And buried my face in the pillow.

“Inspiration just won’t come… I’m such a fool…”

“Unni, just leave her be. She’ll come out when she gets hungry.”

“Hey, Seo Yoon-ah. But she’s the maknae. We should take care of her since she’s writing for the group.”

“No way. She’s doing this purely for her own satisfaction. Just satisfaction.”

I felt like my inner self had been exposed, so I wailed loudly just for effect.

Boohoo.

“See? Unni keeps giving in to her, so she’s just like this. Just let her starve. They say hunger is the source of creation.”

“They say hunger is the mother of creativity.”

—

“Do-hee~”

Seo-yoon Unni approached me, lying on the practice room sofa, and wrapped her arms around me.

I guess she’s really worried.

“It’s tough to practice like this. You must be hungry~ Let’s eat?”

“Hmph.”

“I’m sorry~ okay?”

“Hmph.”

Honestly, I’m not the type to go on a hunger strike just because Kim Seo-yoon is throwing shade at me. I’m really just starving to see if anything sparks my creativity.

“What should our youngest have to eat?”

I’m about to starve, so I should pretend to yield.

“Then, I want kimchi jjigae.”

“Sure, just give me a sec to order. Let’s eat quickly.”

Anyway, after a day and a half of starving, what I’ve realized is…

I’m not likely to starve to death while writing songs like Schumann and dealing with my complexes or suffering from starvation-induced psychiatric issues.

I had no mental hunger.

—Click

‘Me, looking shaggy from writing music.’

So full of self-love.

Maybe I should try imitating Russian composers next…

Oh, there are lots of starving souls here too.

—

These days, many songs are more structurally sound than they are melodically sweet.

Thanks to the established commercial codes and developments.

But a good song isn’t bound by codes and structures.

At that time, Schubert’s works exemplified this.

When mentioning great musicians, Schubert is an obvious inclusion.

Schubert’s life was incredibly poor and tough.

It’s a famous anecdote that when his friend treated him to a meal, he devoured six pieces of bread all at once, calling it the first meal he had in two days.

However, poverty and hunger couldn’t solely be seen as the creative source of Schubert.

After all, Schubert was a genius who displayed musical talent, producing several masterpieces from the moment he began composing at 17.

By the age of 18, he had created his greatest song, “Erlkönig.”

And it was probably when he had his most perfect inspiration.

Right.

“When Schubert composed ‘Erlkönig,’ according to accounts from his acquaintances, he was so deeply moved by Goethe’s ‘Erlkönig’ that he couldn’t move for a while before suddenly writing like a madman.”

“What are you muttering about?”

“Unni, shouldn’t we really tell the Director? This is a disaster.”

“I’m scared…”

“Schubert was so absorbed in his composition that he didn’t even notice his friends came by and greeted him right next to him. He only recognized them after they shouted in delight at the melody he played…”

“Um, Do-hee…?”

Sitting at the piano, staring at the staff paper, I kept chuckling repeatedly.

They say inspiration strikes suddenly.

Seeing how that main melody, which wouldn’t come to me no matter how much I ranted, finally popped into my mind in an instant was satisfying.

The main melody that wasn’t coming to me suddenly popped into my head, satisfying me.

After three weeks, I finally completed the melody.

“I am Schubert, Kiki…”

So now, it’s time for the arrangement process.

“17-year-old Do-hee Lee… 17-year-old Schubert… Kiki…”

“Is she out of her mind?”

Ah, I’m dying.

*

Director So-hyun said to write freely.

But I couldn’t just throw together a concept trailer to leave a lasting first impression on the public.

I didn’t want to just match the video with some music and call it a day.

I wanted to showcase the group’s identity with clear colors and themes.

And the expression of that theme relies on the arrangement.

The arrangement relies on the performance.

The way of performing is the theme itself.

It was a dilemma.

2/4 time signature, usually 60 bpm.

Generally slower, casual, with a relaxed flow.

A gentlemanly and polite andante.

4/4 time signature, usually 120 bpm.

Marching, dancing, elegant and stylish.

Arrogantly cheerful Allegro pomposo.

Both suit Debonair.

Even so, the choice of time signature is clearly a point of focus.

Of course, it might be a pointless worry.

Like turning a quarter note into an eighth note.

Reducing the note value by half.

If you play it twice as slow,

You can perform the 4/4 piece

Just like a 2/4 performance.

But as a musician, I must recognize that tempo markings are visual and can influence interpretation.

Musicians are used to lighter pieces with smaller note values.

Who knows, someone might see my piece and think it’s lighter and easier to play.

Thus, one must consider the characteristics inherent to that timing.

Traditionally, in classical music, 4/4 has its own characteristics.

The structure of repeating accents.

Strong, weak, medium strong, weak.

This provides a logical form that allows listeners to easily follow the music, both in color and flow.

And the characteristics of 2/4.

Repeating strong and weak.

If I break a 4/4 into two 2/4 measures,

The added accents will disrupt the flow, turning it into a bouncy polka or march, rather than an elegant and dignified piece.

Above all, the image of Debonair shouldn’t just repeat strong and weak; it should be diverse.

The third beat, the medium strong, will bring that diversity to life.

Thus, this piece must have a toccata-like essence.

It must reveal a strong, dynamic rhythm with percussive traits.

So, I drew a 4/4 on the staff.

And adjusted the staff to fit the timing.

“Whew, I see the finish line…”

Now all I need to do is repeatedly play this score to see

How to make it sound even more beautiful.

Where to add additional accents.

Where to insert dynamics.

That’s all I had left to find out.

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