Using the format of Spirit Poker, a conversation through a board game.
In reality, it wasn’t much different from having a proper conversation, but the important part was that a board game was used as a medium.
There were things that couldn’t be said in a face-to-face conversation.
But with the guise of a board game, it became possible.
“Is this the Card of Serenity?”
“…Yeah, it’s the Card of Serenity. Is this the ‘Are you okay?’ card?”
“Of course, it’s the ‘I’m okay’ card.”
Once the conversation started, it continued to flow.
The names of the cards kept getting longer, and it could hardly be called a board game anymore.
Still, Kyle and Leisha were exchanging words according to the rules of Spirit Poker.
“This is… the ‘How did you know?’ card.”
“The card I’m giving you is the Duke’s card.”
“…It’s my father’s card.”
Yeah, only her father could hear about her trauma.
Leisha, who had been trembling for a moment, wrapped herself in a blanket and crouched by the door, sliding the card underneath.
“…It’s the ‘I wish you could tell me yourself’ card.”
“That’s not the card.”
“…No, but it’s the ‘I still have to do it’ card.”
It took her three days to get from the bed to the door.
How much time would it take for Leisha to calm her mind by talking to Kyle through this board game?
Leisha didn’t plan to wait that long.
[Grr…]
“…Yeah, okay.”
The Water Tiger, whom she hadn’t seen in a while, was whining by her side.
The moment she saw the tiny Water Tiger, Leisha understood how Kyle had made it to the door.
And.
That the spirit who had been with her the longest had left her side for a while.
‘I…’
She didn’t face it. She didn’t try to face it.
Because she was scared. That’s what trauma is. Even if she tried to forget, tried to run away, it followed her, so she didn’t bother turning her head to face it.
But still.
“Princess?”
“This is… the ‘Can I hold your hand?’ card.”
“…That’s right.”
Creak.
Through the slightly opened door, Leisha’s left hand and Kyle’s right hand touched.
Though they couldn’t see each other’s faces, sitting back-to-back against the door.
The warmth from that touch was comforting, and it had been so long.
Leisha quietly grasped his hand.
Closing her eyes tightly, she began to speak.
“I was almost attacked by that guy. My uncle.”
“…You’re saying it outright.”
“Ultimately, no matter what the story is… that’s the conclusion. I was only seven years old at the time, sleeping in my room.”
Seven years old, after a birthday party ball, several guests stayed at the ducal mansion for a while.
That included Leisha’s uncle, Duke Nicholas’s younger brother.
Unlike Nicholas, who inherited the ducal title, his younger brother was a layabout with nothing to do.
But with his handsome looks and friendly personality, he got along well with everyone.
Except for young Leisha.
“I didn’t open up easily. The spirits disliked him. But he was persistent.”
A person the spirits disliked. Young Leisha tried to avoid him too.
Yet, her uncle always approached her with a smile, and under his persistent efforts, Leisha gradually opened up.
Since he was only staying temporarily, her uncle couldn’t remain at the ducal mansion forever.
On the very night before he left, wearing a perfect mask that fooled everyone, he entered Leisha’s bedroom in the middle of the night.
“…If it weren’t for the Water Tiger, I can’t even imagine what would have happened.”
“The tiger…”
“Back then, I was with the spirits too. It was the spirits who saved me when I was terrified.”
Though she was just a young Spirit Master and the spirits weren’t even mid-level, her uncle, who was powerless, couldn’t handle them.
He wasn’t someone I could handle.
Did I underestimate him, or was I just in a hurry?
In an instant, the Water Tiger transformed and pounced on my uncle, tearing into him.
………Yeah.
He tore into him. His whole body, and his neck.
“That guy died back then. Writhing in pain.”
“………….”
“The trauma that haunts me… it’s not just the memory of almost being attacked, but more than that.”
The bloodshot eyes, and the expression twisted without a trace of a smile.
The curses spat out without hesitation, unlike his usual kindness.
All those changes, and my uncle dying brutally.
It all remained vividly in Leisha’s memory as she trembled on the bed.
“That was my uncle dying back then.”
What kind of sight would it be for a mere seven-year-old child to see the kind adult who had always been nice to her cursing her as he died?
Like a soldier returning from war developing PTSD.
Every detail was etched clearly into Leisha’s memory.
That’s why she didn’t want to see the end of the nightmare.
Because the end was always the same.
The gruesome image of her uncle’s death.
“I wasn’t punished. In fact, after hearing my story, my father… changed. He even went as far as to stitch together the already dead corpse and execute it again by hanging.”
“………….”
“My father always said he was sorry. But frankly, I don’t think anything really changed. He was a good Duke, but not a good father.”
If he truly felt sorry for her, he wouldn’t have let her live her life trapped in the turret.
It was questionable whether her father, who tried every method before Kyle arrived, truly loved her.
Was it to cover up the scandal of the Duke’s brother trying to assault his niece?
Or was it some politically motivated action?
“But two things were certain.”
“What were they?”
“First, love is a disgusting emotion.”
When her uncle tried to assault her, he said he loved her.
That it was because of love. He muttered excuses for himself using those words.
Leisha still doesn’t know what love is.
But if that’s what love is, if that’s the miserable end of love, then Leisha thought love was repulsive.
“And second, everyone dies like that.”
“………….”
“Every time I see someone, my uncle’s face and voice overlap. That’s fine. I can handle that. But as time passes… it gradually turns into screams and agony.”
That’s also why Leisha could stick with Kyle, even if it meant syncing with the Water Tiger.
If the trauma was solely about almost being attacked, she shouldn’t have been able to look at any other man normally.
But her trauma was rooted in ‘death.’
If it’s just a fleeting encounter, she can part ways before seeing her uncle’s death. But at the Academy, didn’t Kyle spend over a week with Roderick without meeting her?
If she had stayed by Kyle’s side all day back then, Leisha would have surely faced the overlapping image of her uncle’s death with Roderick.
Especially since approaching someone who rejects you reminds her of the relationship between her uncle and herself, making the process of her uncle’s death feel faster.
That’s why Leisha could scoff at Sally’s actions in the imperial palace.
‘You’re going to kill me?’
She had already witnessed the ugly, agonizing death of a life right before her eyes.
The maid’s words and actions about killing her were just laughable.
……Of course, she didn’t expect her to actually stab her with a dagger.
“Then, Princess, how about now?”
“………….”
“Do my words sound like screams to you?”
Originally, they would have.
The overlapping voice of her uncle starts normal but gradually turns into groans, screams, and curses of pain.
It’s been three days already, so by now, only screams should be heard, not the other person’s words.
“……No.”
Rather, it’s slowly…
The voice of the uncle I used to hear had disappeared.
Now, the only voice I hear is Kyle’s.
It was also the decisive reason she could muster the courage to talk about her trauma.
Leisha held Kyle’s hand a little tighter.
“That’s why I can talk about it. Because I don’t see my uncle in you, Kyle.”
“Why do you… think that…?”
“…Because.”
It felt like he wouldn’t die.
Watching him obsess over a mere board game like a madman.
It felt like he would live forever without dying like my uncle.
Thanks to that vague certainty, Leisha could approach Kyle.
It was only after syncing with the Water Tiger and spending time with Kyle that she realized.
“So, don’t die.”
“…Okay.”
“I didn’t want to meet you. I wanted to let you go. That way, the you I remember would live forever. You wouldn’t die like my uncle…”
But.
You kept coming closer.
“So, we met.”
“…What should I say? I feel a bit… hit.”
The trauma isn’t resolved. I still see my uncle in others and will avoid them.
But confessing everything to a friend connected by friendship, and him calmly listening.
Not giving up on her until the end.
It deeply reached her.
‘More than a friend…’
If Kyle was her only friend and ‘exception’ until now.
Now… could I dare call him an understanding person?
The only one I can confide my pain in, talk to.
An understanding person I can always lean on.
“Thank you, Kyle.”
For not giving up on me.
For coming to find me for three days.
For listening to my story.
Thank you.
“…That’s what the card means, how is it?”
Finally remembering Spirit Poker, Leisha smiled for the first time since the academy incident and sent a random card through the door.
What about Kyle? Maybe he’ll laugh? Then he’ll probably playfully return the card.
Holding the clasped hand even tighter, Leisha raised the corner of her mouth.
“…?”
On the other side of the door, it became too quiet.
She slowly turned her head.
‘The hand…’
Still holding it. The warmth, of course──
“…Huh?”
──Just a little, very little.
The warmth had decreased.
In a panic, Leisha threw off the blanket and opened the door.
“Ka…Kyle?”
“…”
There.
Kyle, sitting weakly against the door, head down.
And his left arm, filled with wounds beyond battered, almost gruesome.
And blood flowing all over his body.
“Ah… ah?”
It overlaps.
The time when my uncle died. Now, with Kyle’s head down.
Blood splattered, and all the screams and curses I heard back then──
“…No, no!!”
That time and Kyle are different. Kyle didn’t scream even with such severe wounds. Far from cursing, he only gently comforted Leisha.
Why did this happen?
The answer was simple. It was because of her.
Leisha thought Kyle had come up with the help of the spirits.
But the three-day round trip was a harsher journey than she thought.
“No.”
Here, in a place like this.
I can’t lose my understanding person, Kyle.
Even as the image of my uncle’s corpse kept coming back, Leisha bit her lip until it bled and shouted.
“Water Spirits! Gather all! Quickly, the water coffin…!!”
[Grr…]
[Eeeek…….]
[Chirp chirp.]
Ah.
Leisha finally noticed the spirits that had become so tiny.
Back when Kyle first arrived, the spirits boasted massive bodies, but they had long since shrunk due to the continuous use of Spirit Technique and the changes in Leisha’s emotions.
Even if she tried to use Spirit Technique, the spirits were completely drained.
Even if she somehow gathered the spirits and used Spirit Technique, she wasn’t sure if she could save Kyle, who was so severely injured.
What was once the easiest thing, Spirit Technique, had been sealed.
For a moment, Leisha stared at Kyle, covered in blood.
“………Kyle.”
With her small body, she desperately…
Lifted Kyle onto her back.
“You kept coming to find me. Even though my uncle screamed so much. You must have been in so much pain too.”
And then.
She descended the tower’s stairs.
“I’m……still scared. I’m afraid of seeing people. I hate how they overlap with my uncle. I’m so sick of it all ending in death.”
The trauma wasn’t something she could control.
But.
She could endure it.
“Still, I don’t want you to die more than anything!”
Leisha, who had descended the blood-stained stairs, stood in front of the tower’s main gate.
There was no door, actually. It had been destroyed long ago on the first day.
But to Leisha, it felt like there was an invisible wall.
How long had it been since she came down this far without syncing with the spirits? Maybe over 7 years?
Her feet wouldn’t move. Just a door, or rather, the absence of one, and yet her legs wouldn’t budge.
Looking down at her trembling legs, Leisha…
“Crazy bitch. Damn bitch. Useless bitch……!!”
Recalling the curses her ‘uncle’ spat out in his final moments.
She thought about her trauma.
Thud.
She deliberately brought the trauma to mind. And in the gaps it created, she took one step at a time.
It was a cruel process. If only Kyle had been there to listen like he was just moments ago, but now Kyle was on the brink of death, triggering her trauma. If she wasn’t careful, she might just break down and cry, crumpling to the ground in a pathetic heap.
But the faint warmth on her back. The fading warmth.
It spurred Leisha on.
Thud.
She recalled her trauma.
Thud.
She provoked her trauma.
Thud.
She used her trauma.
How long had it been since she closed her eyes tightly?
Before she knew it, she was…
“………Ah.”
Outside the tower.
The wind outside the tower, the sky outside the tower, the ground outside the tower, the garden outside the tower.
And.
The world outside the tower.
“………….”
Without any time to soak it all in.
“Ah, ah, miss………?”
“……Save Kyle. Now.”
“Th-that’s impossible……!!”
“Shut up and save him!!!”
Leisha.
Even as the maid overlapped with her uncle in her mind, she looked straight at her and shouted.
It was a cry that came from the depths of her heart.
And at the same time, it was the sound of her footsteps, as she began to walk again after being stuck for so long.
