Chapter 231

“…….”

However.

Not a single thing has come to an end.

The outside will still be utter chaos.

This place is just as unstable, no difference.

Due to the release of Tenebra, Lucesia’s condition seemed to have improved slightly…

…but it appears that the injuries inflicted by that kid were quite fatal after all.

“…….”

Gods do not die and are eternal.

Thus, if they die, it’s merely a flaw.

However, for someone who momentarily became godlike, the disappearance of that flaw—what does it mean?

Her essence isn’t divine.

Therefore, ironically, her flaws themselves… are proof of divinity.

The Military Deity was counting on this point.

“…….”

In this situation where the wounds from Misiltain remain unresolved, this could be extremely critical.

<…….>

But why…

[There was no need to look for it at all, huh?]

Are you laughing?

“That’s how it had to be, right?”

And in response to that, a voice echoes.

“If we leave things alone, the world might flip upside down.”

“…….”

At first, I thought it might be someone.

But there was no need to recall or think about who it was.

“Besides, don’t you have quite a few questions you want to ask me?”

“…….”

Contrary to his friendly tone, I felt more frustration and irritation rising than anything else.

That’s also why I remained silent, trying to organize my thoughts.

If I hadn’t predicted this situation, it would’ve been false… but….

“There was once a snake and a monster inside me… that’s what you said, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That wasn’t a mere metaphor, simple delusion, or nonsense.”

“Exactly that.”

“…….”

So then.

“Am I the monster, or are you?”

“Why don’t you guess? Which side would disappoint you more?”

“…….”

Either way.

However, I already know the answer.

“You must’ve been the monster.”

“Proof?”

“……You’re doing well?”

Though it was a scattered reply.

“Definitely true.”

The kid readily agreed.

“What you needed was the inherent nature of humans. You were able to become like this now because you’re human—it wouldn’t have been possible with me.”

“…….”

Yeah.

That’s why what you possess, and what remains…

Now, it’s only this one thing left.

“Athena ultimately restrained you not just to counterbalance but also to support you, didn’t she?”

“You know that much? Impressive. From how it seems, you didn’t just grasp it as mere information—you’ve gone through some pretty rough adventures, haven’t you?”

“…….”

The reason the world couldn’t help but hate me.

It was because…

That existence always destroys and dismantles the existing world, wherever and whenever it appears.

It’s the main cause.

“Pallas.”

As mentioned in Athena’s birth myth, whether it’s the close friend she accidentally killed during play or the enemy she crushed in war, the key point remains the same.

‘Gods and Giants.’

In the myths where they appear, they are beings that stem from the Primeval Gods (Πρωτογενοι).

“The roots don’t really matter, do they?”

As we exchanged words like this, Lucesia interjected with suspicion and anger.

“What are you two? How do you know each other?”

“Don’t you get it? My future is him over there.”

Lucesia alternates her gaze between me pointing at the kid and then back to both of us.

[…Your very existence and essence are completely different. So how can he possibly be your future?]

“I find that part a bit curious myself. It wasn’t intentional on my part.”

The kid shrugs his shoulders.

…It feels familiar yet unsettlingly strange for some reason.

“But there’s one thing I can definitely say: I didn’t know my own future either. So I was just about to clear up that curiosity. What do you think?”

[…I only have one question.]

“If you’re planning something with the Sacred Grand Tree, then I’m out of the loop.”

<...>

“Seriously. It’s not that big of a deal.”

The kid smiled without any malice.

[Then why did you show up? Asking to be killed?]

“Unfortunately, even that’s tough since… I’m dead. Ah, don’t misunderstand. Back then, I was so successful that I couldn’t die even if I wanted to in a clumsy way.”

“…….”

He sure talks boastfully in a pitiful way.

“My situation is kind of like being confined. Think of it as the essence of me, not as Carriel. Hmm? Did I explain too complicatedly? Even bees should understand this simplified version.”

That’s your opinion.

“So what about you now? Are you neither alive nor dead?”

“No, I’ve died. Haven’t I said that several times already? Or is this the first time?”

[…What are you trying to do, huh!]

Lucesia grips the gaping wound near her solar plexus tightly while trying to argue.

“To be exact, I am a past existence conversing with your future selves. How is that possible? You probably know which vicinity we’re in, so I’ll skip the details.”

“…….”

The World Tree, maybe?

However, even if that’s true, this is still…

Thinking about it, this place is a space formed by Athena, yet it’s a different location altogether.

A white world.

Without light or darkness, pure white fills every corner—a rather inorganic space.

“So I, from the past, ask you in the future: how was it? Living as a genuine human?”

“…….”

He’s spouting weird stuff again.

“Why are you curious about that?”

“One can innocently wonder, right? Isn’t it more abnormal not to be curious?”

“…….”

This is… correct words.

“It wasn’t good.”

“In what way?”

“…Because you and I weren’t equals.”

Even though I was called a prodigy.

I certainly wasn’t.

The significant achievements, big and small, accomplished by the young me from just a few years ago dragged my growing future into a bottomless pit.

I’ve been rolling around in that pit ever since.

“But aren’t you me?”

The kid blurted out shamelessly.

“On the contrary, let me ask you: what could I possibly have done when I had none of the talents, skills, or aptitudes you possess?”

“Hmm? Well, maybe that’s a bit embarrassing? But innate talent or brilliance isn’t everything in life, right?”

While saying that, the kid stuck out his tongue as if showing no ill intent.

“Still, that was necessary.”

“…….”

“And furthermore, I expected you to endure and grow in some way. Look. How many people in this world could become someone like you now?”

While shifting his gaze toward Lucesia, he continued.

“Even false gods are being driven away; your existence has already surpassed the ordinary. Isn’t that enough? Oh, right. The expression ‘enough’ might offend our ambition. Sorry.”

“…….”

Looks like he’s harboring some serious misconceptions.

“I’m not living a life where strength or wisdom is the sole purpose.”

“You needed that to overcome and break through fate, didn’t you? Isn’t that right?”

“…….”

“Or what? Could you possibly be thinking of living a normal, happy life? A thought unworthy even of beasts? For someone on my level?”

…Certainly.

The kid’s way of thinking is that of a superhuman.

But unlike the kid, my mind and thoughts are far from superhuman.

I realized that fact bone-deeply in this moment.

“Happiness is ultimately a trick created by the human body, isn’t it? If you indulge in pleasant scents and delicious food, that’s worse than beastly behavior. While it’s natural for beasts to live that way, we aren’t them, right? We’re humans with intellect and awareness. Would you waste your life indulging in such trivial pleasures and throw it away meaninglessly? No, right? I must’ve misunderstood, haven’t I?”

“…….”

Since I’ve glimpsed the kid’s past, I somewhat understand and empathize with certain aspects.

But even so, this isn’t right.

“Have you never considered that when such a mindset goes awry, it could contribute to the collapse of the world?”

“I’m not a dogmatic person. There were so many advisors and elders around me. Do you think I ignored their advice and insisted that my opinions were always right? We don’t live alone in this world, you know.”

“…….”

He rambled abnormally and suddenly returned to normal.

But…

“You probably twisted even that to suit your taste, didn’t you?”

“What obvious nonsense.”

Two words are enough. The kid asked again.

“So, do you regret your life now? Do you resent it? Do you hate everything and feel irritated like him? Do you want to destroy everything?”

“…….”

Accidentally making eye contact with Lucesia, I let out a small sigh.

“I have no intention of blaming the world. And I don’t plan to affirm it either.”

“Ambiguous.”

“…When the object of resentment is unclear, it’s easier to blame everything visible, isn’t it?”

That will inevitably distort my anger and hatred.

The anger and hatred I’ve cherished must surely be righteous.

Turning them into sins and wrongdoings is unacceptable.

At least, I shouldn’t allow that.

If I reproach them excessively, and if I spread acts worthy of resentment and hatred towards others…

…when will this damn endless cycle of hatred end?

I can’t transfer what I disliked and found difficult onto others.

Yet, if I grow weak, I’ll compromise, and compromises lead to cowardice, ugliness, and mediocrity.

I don’t want to cross that line, at least.

Otherwise, all their persecution of me would be justified.

In any case…

What I’ve chosen is…

To remain dignified even if I have to roll around in hardships.

That’s the wretched, now nearly non-existent self-respect I cling to.

The justice and righteousness spoken by victors, the righteous, and the good cannot stand on the same ground as the justice and righteousness uttered by villains and antagonists.

It’s not a matter of anyone’s evaluation or perspective.

It’s simply what I believe.

Even if heaven abandons me and the whole world turns its back on me, it doesn’t matter.

As long as I can convince myself.

As long as I alone can find satisfaction.

The rest?

None of my business.

“You’ve developed some strange stubbornness. Is this your pursuit of your own idea of good and justice?”

“I’ve never pursued goodness or justice.”

“Then it’s worse. Your actions prove it. It’s commendable in a way… but it’ll make your life unnecessarily miserable.”

“…….”

“So that’s why you obtained that power, huh? Must one be foolish and naive to deserve such suffering and gain the qualification for it? Extremely absurd.”

That’s probably…

“Because it was you, it was possible. On that point, I won’t hold back my admiration.”

“Enough with the nonsense.”

Neither Lucesia nor I desire such things.

“Why did you show up at this point?”

<...>

At first, I thought you appeared to restrain or do something to Lucesia, but now you’re pretending to know her.

Even now.

The kid casually asked.

“Can’t you vaguely predict the future now? And the past too.”

“…….”

“But you, the ‘me’ of now, haven’t seen the turning point that made me into the ‘you’ of now, right? Agree?”

I just nodded.

“For that reason.”

“Why particularly ‘now’?”

“…There’s a reason.”

The kid shifts his gaze back to Lucesia.

“First, I intended to show this foolish child what the Sacred Grand Tree is all about.”

And second…

“I wanted to see how you’d accept my choice.”

At that moment, something clicked.

“You… did you actually select your own future?”

“Hmm. Is it because we share the same thing? Your insight is sharp.”

Selection.

Isn’t that essentially the very ability of the World Tree itself?

The ability to select worlds.

Observation and differentiation merely assist in the act of selection.

“As you know, I inadvertently glimpsed another future and possibility of mine from the World Tree.”

And how that existence eventually swept through the world.

“Didn’t you experience the same thing through the World Tree as what I saw?”

“Yeah. And do you know that the great war spirit we both witnessed has now arrived in our world and is causing chaos?”

“Yeah. That was my choice.”

That means…

“Did you foresee or even guide the intentions of the Sacred Tree of the Demon Realm?”

“Not intentionally. To be precise, it was due to my carelessness.”

Carelessness?

“For instance, it’s like giving bread to a hungry child but only to the ones you can see, leading to consequences.”

“…….”

Is the analogy poor, or do I lack the capacity to understand and accept it?

Indeed, this situation is exceptional for me, and it’s hard to steady my mind and body.

Although logically I understand there’s no need to be shaken.

After all, there’s a sticky emotion stirring somewhere deep in my chest.

“So I passed it on to you.”

“What the hell, kid?”

“Today’s me can assign homework to yesterday’s me, right?”

“…….”

His words are nauseatingly easy.

“I’m a greedy person, so there was no way around it. Still, I couldn’t discard the notions of good and justice I learned from Father and Mother.”

“…Good and justice. Most of my memories involve being instilled with resentment and hatred against them, so I don’t know much about that.”

“???”

Until now, the kid had maintained a composed demeanor, but his expression changed drastically at that statement.

With an air of disbelief, he hesitantly asked.

“What are you talking about? Don’t tell me… you actually resent them?”

Saying it himself, it seemed entirely unexpected.

The kid appeared genuinely disturbed by my attitude and response, purely in meaning.

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