Chapter 203

Are you intentionally fueling their sense of guilt to steer the situation? But will they react according to your intention just because you do that?

“That’s… their choice.”

That answer is severely lacking in sincerity. Irresponsible, perhaps even indifferent.

“Then should I have taken charge of everything so they would follow my will? Their thoughts and ways of thinking too?”

That’s what strategy means.

Should I be the one making judgments and decisions for them?

Or if I sit idly by while they wander aimlessly, and when things go awry, can I simply watch and enjoy it?

“Is this your best effort?”

No. The premise is all wrong.

Best, highest, lowest, worst… all useless benchmarks.

The point is domination or submission.

Whether I pull them into my will and ideals to use as I see fit, or if you pathetically get dragged around by their grandiose dreams and aspirations.

“So what’s the end result? What remains?”

The realization of my will. And the resulting consequences remain.

Anything else isn’t worth worrying about.

“How many corpses have you stepped over to get here?”

So are you the type who counts every step from start to finish, head bowed low?

Useless regrets during the journey are unnecessary.

Keep moving forward without stopping, and reach the goal no matter what.

That’s all that matters.

“What about those caught up in the process? Do they mean nothing to you?”

If that’s the case, you’d have to worry about the crops you eat, the livestock and animals too.

Even though a chicken egg could eventually become a chicken, you don’t feel any guilt about it, right?

That’s arrogance.

It’s the ridiculous pretense of hunters who claim to respect their prey.

A pointless self-comfort and self-satisfaction.

“…”

To rise, you must knock down whoever grabs your ankles.

To survive, you must deal with whatever tries to kill you.

Destroy obstacles or find a way around them.

Floundering in cheap emotions and missing opportunities is not just foolishness, but sin.

There’s no gain without sacrifice.

And that includes yourself as well.

“But aren’t you… at the very last position in terms of sacrifices?”

Because I am most honorable.

For our goals, will, and ideals, it’s proper, righteous, and incomparably justified to place me there.

“Still, are you satisfied? With the end you met?”

Live for satisfaction? What a ridiculous question.

What difference is there between living for rewards and being cattle or slaves?

I find meaning in the act itself, not in results or rewards, which are ultimately meaningless to me.

“…”

It’s obvious you don’t want to walk the same path as me, so what’s the point?

If you want to understand my life, you need to share my thoughts and concepts. With your current mindset, you can’t comprehend any of my purposes or beliefs.

“Hmph. A sane person couldn’t genuinely think about destroying the world.”

Exactly. That’s what makes me special. Special means being far from normal.

Do you want to live normally, sanely, and sensibly? Then throw it all away and live obediently as a slave.

Most people in this world are unknowingly enslaved like cattle.

“And people like you drive them to ruin.”

Though the opposite could happen too, but only under the right timing and circumstances. There’s always a time to pursue life and a time to face death.

In that sense, I was indeed the shepherd driving them to ruin, as you just pointed out.

“Like shepherds exist in this world?”

Didn’t Irene send her disciples to ruin, teaching and spreading her faith?

How are they treated now?

“…”

Death is part of life and its process. It’s not an absolute evil, something that must be opposed, or an unforgivable sin.

You’re starting to understand why the master of the world gave you such talents and sent you into the world.

Neither you nor I are much different in that regard.

But if you reject that role?

There’s always another option.

The net of heaven is vast and wide, yet dense beyond compare.

Whether you know it or not, since you were born on this earth, the answer was already decided.

“So that’s why I must walk that path?”

It doesn’t matter if you walk or not.

Either you do it, or someone else takes your place.

You’re only special when you take on the role and responsibility.

The moment you abandon your mission, you’re nothing.

True. Even livestock waste has its uses, so maybe you’ll be used in that way.

“…”

As I open my eyes again, silence and darkness return.

The entity I was conversing with moments ago has long vanished without a trace.

Yet I feel his presence more clearly now than ever before.

Just a memory, but now this memory weighs heavily, oppressing my existence.

That other me from another world was incredibly powerful.

Arrogance possessed only by those who’ve turned the world to ash and graves.

His existence was overwhelmingly strong, beyond notions of good and evil.

Instead of resisting fate, he chose to ride it.

“Does choosing either path lead to the opposite of what I desire? Even giving up…?”

And being given such a fate, carrying such a destiny…

If I was born to correct it, then I wouldn’t need to agonize over it like this.

“…So you’ve resolved these doubts?”

The justification sounds splendid.

Revenge for Elhermina’s death.

Realizing the empire’s glory.

Writing an unparalleled history of conquest with one’s own hands.

The epitome of ambition and romance any man could aspire to.

Unlike me now, I doubt he started knowing all about the world’s will or such things.

But when he realized it later, it was probably too late to turn back.

…So he cast aside hesitation and ran straight ahead instead.

And because he moved as the world wished, the world readily illuminated his path.

“Headaches.”

Trying to grasp countless versions of myself through the World Tree proved difficult.

Was seeking solutions from another me too amateurish? A superficial quick fix?

Or was looking for answers externally the mistake?

“Nope.”

Just because I didn’t find immediate answers doesn’t mean I need to waste my spirit on pointless self-blame.

That’s just how the world works.

Knowing still makes things difficult and confusing. Not knowing makes it even harder.

That’s why we praise and celebrate those who solve trials and problems.

“You were already walking that path, couldn’t turn back, so that’s how it had to be.”

There’s no need to especially hate or blame the other me who built mountains of corpses in another world.

Much less fear him.

…If I were someone with strong desires, chasing fame and glory, I might have admired and revered his achievements instead.

Unfortunately, I’m not that kind of person anymore…

‘Since I abandoned the warrior’s dream, I let go of that half part too.’

Uncle Gaejef would have shaken his head if he realized how much I understood at such a young age.

‘Is that why I must be firewood instead of a spark?’

Deep within me, a whisper continues to echo.

If I can’t be a spark, let it have me.

It gladly offers to burn the world for me.

“So I should leave the choices to them.”

Whether I become firewood or a spark is no longer in my hands.

I don’t believe, but I trust them more than anyone.

Such contrasting emotions and beliefs guide me now.

“Even if a hero saves the world, if the people of the world seek to destroy it, then it’s a world not worth saving.”

Even I think this is too cold, too harsh.

But if life is suffering and a curse, a hell and despair for some…

…then liberation for them might be the deprivation of life.

Which I don’t particularly disagree with.

Having traveled through many lands, I’ve come to firmly believe there’s absolutely no absolute in this world.

Because the world isn’t meant for me alone.

It’s constructed with such principles and order.

Yet we’re made to prioritize ourselves, individually.

And gradually, those individuals expand their domains outward.

Family, village, country.

Bloodline, comrades, race.

“Isn’t there a reason why races are divided and distinguished?”

Just like how genders are separated.

Like how heaven and earth are differentiated.

Actually, are they one?

“One?”

A strange thought crossed my mind.

“Did everything start from a single point?”

Suddenly, something I heard somewhere came to mind.

“Was trying to insert something into the eye of a needle wrong?”

Of course, it wouldn’t smoothly enter unless pierced by the needle.

But I don’t have a needle, do I?

That’s why everyone searches for needles, keys, methods, solutions, answers…

“Is everything futile and meaningless?”

But defining something as futile and meaningless is ultimately up to me.

The moment I define it as such…

Everything truly becomes that way.

“Hmph.”

Powerlessness and depression may rise like mold, but long ago I thoroughly discarded allowing my emotions and will to be swayed by such things.

“The more restless you are, the more you should keep moving forward, right?”

While leaving the sanctuary,

I spontaneously dropped by where the source of inspiration from earlier was staying.

“The world originally began from a single point. It returns to its origin. Repeats its origin. Beginnings and endings, seeds and trees and fruits… none have fixed beginnings or ends. You said that last time I visited, right?”

“…”

The silent elf male said nothing.

Though seemingly dead, he definitely existed, exhaling breath that stretched for dozens of seconds, even minutes.

Detecting this not visually but through hearing and aura, it felt extremely peculiar.

“Why do you breathe so deeply?”

Each breath lasts several minutes.

Human lungs contain and expel that much air.

Even if he’s deliberately controlling his breathing volume, it feels strange.

“Life and death. Beginnings and endings. Coming and going. It all comes down to breathing.”

“…”

What lofty nonsense is this?

He’s certainly strange, as he was last time.

“That’s not an incorrect statement. If you can’t breathe, you die. In a way, this is perhaps the natural condition and… destiny of living beings.”

“…”

Something suddenly became strangely intriguing.

Since random processes like this sometimes spark inspiration, I tried treating what I didn’t understand as another source of curiosity satisfaction.

For several days, until the elves answered me outside, I stayed by his side.

He seemed completely unaffected by my presence.

Maybe he even knew I was communicating with the World Tree.

“That is not communication.”

After briefly stating this once, he didn’t give further answers despite my questions.

However, it did seem to have merit.

‘Strictly speaking, it was more like the World Tree either accepting or ignoring my requests.’

When accepted, it showed what it wanted to show, but there were more parts denied.

…Is this really communication?

Then I suddenly asked him.

“Can I try imitating what you’re doing, if it’s not too impolite?”

“…”

Though he didn’t say much, for some reason it felt like permission, so I boldly followed along.

Sitting properly, I extended my breath as long as possible…

“…!”

My breathing faltered after just a few minutes.

Even though I hadn’t moved my body at all.

‘This isn’t easy.’

Following changes in movement with breathing wasn’t difficult to mimic until now.

…But this felt harder precisely because it seemed simple.

It’s probably just lung capacity and adaptation issues? Familiarity problems, rather.

This requires a body accustomed to it; understanding the technique alone isn’t enough to replicate it.

…Of course, it’s a story that makes sense when put that way.

Days passed like that.

Upon exiting the sanctuary and meeting the World Tree, as usual, I encountered several elves waiting for me.

“Hmm.”

Have they reached a conclusion?

Following their guidance, this time I headed to the audience chamber.

And there, as if waiting for me, were the queen and central councilor, two elders.

Five of them waited in position for my arrival.

“Long may the sacred tree prosper, Your Majesty. Upon receiving the summons, I immediately left the sanctuary and arrived here.”

Briefly bowing, then dismissing everyone except the five,

The queen calmly gathered her gaze to convey their decision to me on behalf of all.

On top of her pure white ceremonial dress,

Her pure white gloved hands rested demurely on her knees.

Gently, her lips tinged with a soft green parted slightly.

“Carriel. This is a decision agreed upon by everyone, but it’s not absolute. Please consider that first before listening.”

“…”

Silently bowing to indicate understanding.

“We recognize you as an exceptional spokesperson and proxy for our race.”

The queen continued after saying this.

“So, Carriel. Tell us. How do you intend to guide us with the Sacred Tree?”

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