Chapter 192

“Am I truly unable to get close to spirits, Geoffrey?”

With simple daily wear doubling as activity wear, Carriel was dressed in a plain top and bottom pair of pants.

The closer one enters the castle, the more elaborate the attire becomes, but the further away from the castle, the simpler it gets.

Clothing is, after all, an ornament proving one’s status.

They don’t adorn themselves with gold or jewels for vanity like humans do.

There must be a reason for wearing accessories, and meaning behind them.

They are fussier about etiquette than humans, and their etiquette is so complex that humans can’t keep up.

And this creates another gap between them.

While human etiquette may have been influenced by theirs in some sense… they don’t just follow forms; they embed meaning into those very forms.

The exception would be someone who earns respect without such forms.

In that sense, Carriel is human, yet lacks any special qualification.

The reason he could meet Geoffrey privately whenever was probably because Geoffrey, despite being a High Elf, is an exceptional existence.

Also, as an excuse, he’s the counselor, teacher, and master to the Empress and the nine heroes, including her.

“Humans naturally can’t get close to spirits. That’s normal.”

Hair and eyes gleaming like molten silver and emeralds respectively—truly breathtaking.

Elves being more beautiful than humans isn’t an exaggeration, but not all of them are good-looking by human standards.

Even so, Geoffrey undoubtedly possessed considerable beauty by human aesthetic standards.

Though she looked young by human standards, she appeared older compared to Carriel who moved around the lab observing her surroundings.

Carriel was even shorter.

“And it seems like the spirits don’t want to linger around you either.”

“Even though I’ve been here for about half a year, they still haven’t shown any interest in me?”

“Perhaps knowing about you has made them avoid you even more.”

The child of a warrior and a holy maiden.

At first glance, one might think there couldn’t be a nobler or more prestigious individual.

Why?

…Those with keen eyes or senses strangely fear or feel uneasy around him.

If they were human, they’d likely trust his cheerful smile and friendly demeanor right away.

But for fairies and elves who live close to nature, it’s different.

Especially high elves, who value pure bloodlines and are sensitive to energy, would feel this even more strongly.

So if anyone does take a liking to him, it’s probably because they lack keen eyes or senses and have only accepted his outward appearance.

Excluding high elves, he was actually quite popular.

He had great communication skills and quickly gauged others’ emotions and thoughts, adapting accordingly.

This might be due to good observational skills, but also the flexibility to convert that into action. Adaptability.

Yeah, at this point, it’s definitely a skill.

“Why is that? I’m not a bad person.”

“Don’t judge good and evil by human standards. In nature’s terms, it’s something entirely different.”

“So did you, Geoffrey, receive similar treatment from spirits when you were a child?”

“…….”

For high elves, communicating with spirits and borrowing their power is as natural as breathing.

She, who couldn’t do that, was an outcast among high elves.

Had she not pursued the path of magic…

Had she not achieved greatness in it later on, even mastering spirit spells…

…she would have forever been branded as alien within her long-lived race.

Time is finite yet relatively infinite for them. Effort and its rewards aren’t a big concern.

After all, everything will resolve itself over time.

As long as one doesn’t abandon their work or duties, eventually, it’s just a matter of time.

10 years won’t cut it? Then 20. Still not enough? Try 50, 100.

Double or triple that if necessary.

Thus, reminding them of the significance and reward of effort is really difficult.

When they understood the overwhelming power disparity against the Demon King’s forces, they completely discarded any notion of desperate resistance.

…Geoffrey’s own sister bowed her head to the Golden Beast for this very reason.

Had Geoffrey herself not become a traitor, maybe she would have followed their choice to retreat into seclusion with the entire race.

Which would’ve merely delayed their doom anyway.

Like sprouts growing and blossoming.

When death approaches like fate, willingly accepting it is another habit of ours.

Nature resists with all its might but doesn’t reject.

In other words, it doesn’t oppose absolute phenomena.

“Humans consider time crucial. I aimed for the best and utmost here, but if it’s impossible, I’ll genuinely have no choice but to sigh.”

“There’s no guarantee anywhere in the world that your desires and plans will always come true.”

“Of course. I know that, which is why I move on. I’m more self-centered and selfish than you think. I hate losing and being used carelessly.”

“…….”

“So what I pursue here is ultimately knowledge and proving my worth, solidifying it. This isn’t effort; it’s routine… I want to make efforts. I want to put in the work to break through my limits, and I see that in spirit magic.”

“Do you really think magic requires no thought?”

“I could probably manage it if I tried, but it’s not my forte. Ten years with a sword versus fifty delving into magic—I’d probably surpass even you, Geoffrey, but what’s the point?”

Geoffrey frowned.

“You insolent brat.”

“Breaking rules is being rude. Dissatisfaction leads to progress. Without dissatisfaction, we’d only consent and follow the status quo, right?”

“So you’re always living with dissatisfaction?”

“At least I don’t show it, right?”

“That’s even worse. You little—”

When negative emotions build up, they need to be expressed or released somehow, but this guy doesn’t seem to have that.

Is his patience extraordinarily strong? Does he have an unusually vast capacity to contain emotions unlike others?

No.

This smart kid wouldn’t waste effort embracing useless things.

Elves understand better than anyone how inefficient that is. That’s why they’re often seen as too honest or straightforward by outsiders, and sometimes as cold and indifferent.

“My driving force is anger, resentment, and distrust. The moment I trust someone, I become weaker than anyone else. Whether it’s spirit or mind. Moreover, I rarely experience strong emotions. So I can only immerse myself fully when I’m angry, which is why I’m like this.”

“…That’s not wrong, but if you can analyze it this clearly, something went seriously wrong somewhere.”

“It wasn’t like this from the start. Watching a friend in Dabas find meaning in life inspired me to emulate them.”

“But you… usually live a life completely opposite to that, right? So is all of that just a lie?”

Smart, knowledgeable, always positive, altruistic.

Considerate towards others and capable of making people laugh… a truly kind-hearted kid.

At least since leaving the empire, Carriel has given off that impression.

Of course, if that were all, he wouldn’t have made it here safely.

He wouldn’t have set foot in the elves’ sacred land in the first place.

Who would throw away the son of a hero so recklessly?

“There’s no falsehood. It’s all sincere. Everything is sincere. I absolutely trust everyone and distrust everyone. I categorize roles. The suspicious me and the trusting me. Splitting thoughts. And using whichever side is needed. Like a sword. Like left and right hands.”

“…Isn’t that supposed to be impossible?”

“Does it matter whether it’s possible or not? What matters is what I want to use. Humans have eyes on the outside and can’t introspect, so I use my brainpower to observe and supervise myself. I learned that controlling oneself is important in swordsmanship, but isn’t controlling myself before mastering swordsmanship more important?”

“So is this why you’re practicing swordsmanship formally now?”

“Here, political diplomacy and negotiation skills are far more important than excelling with a sword. My body and time are limited. I must focus on what matters most. And this side, I’ve already reached my limit, so there’s no need to polish it further. If you consider tools… it’s refined and only needs maintenance. Sword and swordsmanship are interconnected but separate when analyzed closely.”

“And the reason you’re telling me this now isn’t just to flaunt, is it?”

“I heard you once felt some affection for my father.”

That was a sudden comment.

“……?”

“Of course, it was just a fleeting breeze-like impulse, but isn’t that significant for elves?”

“What are you trying to imply by telling me this now?”

“Showing one’s true feelings is like exposing inner weaknesses. Why am I doing this?”

Was Carriel being subtle or was Geoffrey oblivious?

She snapped in irritation.

“If you don’t know, then say it clearly! Not interested in magic, struggling with spirit magic, so you’re venting frustration, right?”

“Yes, venting. But if I lose one thing, I need to gain another, don’t I?”

“…Uncharacteristically talking nonsense. So what do you want and why are you whining?”

“You.”

“…….”

“…….”

“……?”

What? Is that it?

“Hold on. Are you… pointing at me?”

“Then who?”

“…You damn brat. Are you in your right mind?”

“I’m always sane. Rather, let me ask: is there any reason why not? Go ahead and tell me. I’ll refute every single one.”

“No… this isn’t a debate, is it? Besides, we’re hardly in a position to do that.”

Geoffrey pondered the situation, pressing her forehead with her fingernails.

Sitting in a wooden chair, legs crossed, she absentmindedly swung them…

The frequency increased while Carriel calmly glanced around and picked up a book to flip through.

“How did you arrive at such an absurd conclusion?”

“Long version or short?”

“Short.”

“First, you’re beautiful. Perfect by my standards. Second, among elves, you’re the adult I can open up to, meaning you’re someone who can guide me. Third, given my illustrious lineage, any casual union would invite criticism, but with you, that likelihood is low. Fourth, our children would be stunningly intelligent and serve as a powerful symbol of unity among elves. If unity doesn’t appeal, integration works too…”

“You foolish… brat.”

How shamelessly and calmly he rambled on, making embarrassing, awkward, and nerve-wracking statements.

“You want to create allies here, tying yourself firmly through kinship, making betrayal impossible, and choosing me as someone easy to influence, right? And you twist it like this…”

“That comes naturally, and I didn’t even consider it. Also, if I acted that way, it would ruin your dignity, wouldn’t it? Would I really do something so reckless to the person who’d be my lover and wife?”

“…….”

This isn’t a joke.

His tone sounds playful, but at least he’s serious.

So… it sounded even more absurd.

“Are you doing this knowingly?”

“What do you mean?”

“That we’ve arranged a mate for you separately.”

“Is that so? I’d appreciate it if you introduced someone fitting my tastes. Would that make her number two?”

Such a cunning brat.

“If I refuse, but you insist, you’d cleverly package it as benefiting the elf race, leading to the elders or even the queen demanding it eventually.”

“Ah, women are men’s responsibility, right? Though the easier method would leave thorns in both our hearts. I prefer not to think that forming bonds blindly will lead to genuine affection. Although, if I were older, I might consider aligning bodies first and developing feelings later…”

“You’re a calamity incarnate with that tongue.”

And hidden within that head lies the foundation of calamity.

“I rarely get moved by anything in this world. Someone like you, Geoffrey, might be hard to satisfy otherwise.”

“…I can’t comprehend this. There are surely many more beautiful than me. Is this truly the best for you?”

“The key is the heartbeat, isn’t it?”

Carriel spread his arms wide as he spoke.

“Without it, what difference is there between humans and corpses? Without feeling your heart beat here, we’re all just walking dead. Even I’m not exempt.”

“Enough with the abstract talk…”

“My preferences are quite picky. My standards are high. Be proud that I chose you.”

“…Haa.”

This kid is severe—if severe means severe.

“I’ll definitely find someone to change your mind… Until then, hold off on this insane decision.”

“Alright. Six months should suffice.”

“…….”

“Although, I doubt my judgment will change.”

“…….”

Is this brat really the one who flirted indiscriminately with women in other countries? Those rumors seemed exaggerated, given his impeccable manners here.

“Were your advances to women in other lands similar to this current behavior towards me?”

“Not at all. Back then, I was younger and everyone assumed I was lying, so I just went along with it. It was genuine too. I fall in love easily.”

“…….”

Isn’t that unlikely?

You’re the type who rarely treats others as human beings, aren’t you?

“Did you forget? Didn’t I say earlier that everything I do is sincere?”

As if piercing through one’s innermost thoughts, he strikes right at the heart.

“That’s why you react this way.”

“But the opposite could happen too, right?”

“Yes. Hence my many worries. And… since I won’t settle down with just one or two, I expect you, Geoffrey, to understand and manage the others. As an elder, wouldn’t you be suited for that?”

“…….”

Truly a headache-inducing brat in every sense.

“And besides, this way, we might prevent some conflicts from arising across the continent, don’t you think?”

To that, Geoffrey crossed her arms over her ample chest and said.

“Thinking you can achieve that alone makes me worry you’re overestimating your worth.”

“But I said it already. I lack inspiration. To reach that level… well.”

This world.

“Isn’t it somewhat tedious and troublesome? Rather than letting my heart dry up like a twisted old tree, I want to create someone who believes they can burn brightly. At least, it’s not a bad thing, right? Love everyone! This aligns with Irene’s Doctrine. Love. Keep loving. You, you all, were born to be loved and blessed in this world.”

…I don’t believe in that nonsense, though.

“Telling us to love is because there’s a lack of love. Telling us not to do evil is because there’s too much of it. All truths hide within these messages.”

“You…”

Geoffrey inwardly shivered.

However, it wasn’t a chilling or fearful kind of shiver.

It’s pity in one sense, and regret in another. Aren’t they similar?

Ultimately, this kid woke up too early.

This isn’t just intelligence. This is…

“So I choose to love. If I had chosen otherwise, I wonder how I’d perceive the world.”

“…….”

Perhaps.

What should be done with this child right here?

Just a fleeting thought.

Yet, why?

“So, Geoffrey, unless you comfort me here, I might end up warped.”

That bright smile… induces unease beyond discomfort. It brings chills.

A new emotion surfaces this time.

Initially, strangeness. Alienation.

Or perhaps both combined, leading to fear.

“Well, just kidding.”

Carriel raised a finger and said.

“Traveling around made me realize. Originally, I wanted to be a hero, but in my time, heroes shouldn’t exist.”

Heroes are born from despair and sorrow.

Individually, they arise through hardship and adversity.

But how much sorrow must the world endure for that to happen?

“Romanticizing heroes comes at too great a cost.”

“…….”

A kid.

A human kid.

Nonchalantly singing praises of heroes, wanting to become knights, swinging swords claiming they want to be knights, then complaining about the difficulty, finding excuses, wandering everywhere…

And dreaming again. Dreaming again.

Still, it’s normal for a regular human child to do so.

“If this resolve remains unchanged even as an adult… fine. I’ll gladly assist you.”

“Oh, then how many kids would you like? Elves differ from humans whose sexual desires are quite vigorous, you know?”

“…….”

Why bring up such topics when trying to set the mood!

Moreover, is it true that you currently lack sexual desire?

Geoffrey felt disheartened for giving a serious response.

Just slightly. Very slightly.

And.

Geoffrey knew but pretended not to. She understood that Carriel’s words were a lighthearted attempt to ease her burden.

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