Chapter 166

“I figured it out!”

“……?”

The moment I started investigating the past, Heeba greeted me.

She’d grown about a head taller than before and looked much more mature, but… it didn’t seem like too much time had passed.

“Didn’t the gods call us the Giant Clan?”

“That was true back then.”

“That means our distant ancestors were giants, and our bloodline and race originated from them, right?”

“…….”

That’s not exactly it, but you could interpret it that way, I guess.

“I heard that Marduk created all kinds of living beings, including us, from Kinggou’s blood and the earth. Kinggou was supposedly an underling of the evil dragon Tiamat.”

-Not an underling, more like a lover. Besides, Tiamat herself was a creation of sorts. And… Marduk shared a name with her husband, which is kind of awkward.

The Demon King chimed in smugly.

“But… there’s a hidden story here.”

Enlil, who killed Tiamat’s husband Abzu. Enraged, Tiamat sought revenge, but then Marduk intervened and changed the course of events.

Fearing Tiamat, the other gods banded together behind Marduk to support him.

After defeating her, Marduk used her corpse to create the heavens and the earth, mountains and hills, eyes and breasts pierced to form rivers and their sources.

“This story doesn’t mention giants, but if you equate dragons with giants… doesn’t this fit rather nicely?”

“…Are you asking me?”

It’s like she’s seeking confirmation, leaving me in quite the predicament.

If I really were the god they believe in, I might respond to her words or enlighten her.

“So… could it be that you’re a deity from outside this world?”

“Outside?”

“If you’re not our god, maybe you’re an outsider deity from another world?”

“There are tales of such beings existing.”

“They do. Of course they exist.”

Then why don’t things add up?

“And yet, you don’t harm us or act as an enemy, instead bestowing blessings… Could it be that you’re not at odds with the evil gods or our own deities?”

“…….”

How should I react to this?

“Do you not know your own origins?”

“Our origins? But I already explained that!”

Kinggou.

Everything born from that blood.

“We were formed from divine blood, but also from the blood of an evil god. We carry both divinity and evil within us, bearing original sin. That’s why we humans possess both good and evil, holding the scales of judgment while striving for redemption. That’s what we are, right?”

“…….”

I’m not sure about that, but it seems they talk about original sin too.

Whether we were born because we wanted to or not, I honestly don’t know.

But why must we suffer original sin just for being born? Why are we forced and pressured into this?

Were we born only to be used as slaves?

Is fate and destiny just chains binding us for this reason?

“If we’re only meant to pay for original sin and serve as slaves, why give us the ability to think and judge for ourselves? Why grant us consciousness and will?”

“Huh? What exactly do you mean by that?”

“Did you choose to be born?”

“Well, I… I’m not really sure.”

“Were you needed, so you came into existence?”

Heeba seemed very troubled just trying to process this question.

“Well… I don’t know.”

“Do you exist solely to receive salvation and live?”

“…….”

“Do you wish to become a god? To live forever? Were you born to become great and extraordinary? Is that what you truly desire?”

She looked confused.

“I… I don’t know. I’ve been told many times that I need to live well. Be great, be extraordinary, be holy, be noble. If I can stand beside the gods by serving them, nothing could be more glorious. That’s the happiest and most honorable way to live forever…”

“Yes. Those aren’t things you truly desired or ever wanted. They’re meaningless and unnecessary. Just delusions whispered into your ear by others.”

Salvation and heaven.

Destruction and hell.

Without me, what meaning would any of that have?

None whatsoever.

Useless and pointless.

All of it stems from me.

Because I feared it.

Because I craved it.

Everything exists because I gave it meaning.

“The gods created you, giving you tasks, difficulties, and trials. Overcome them, and you’ll be rewarded. The reward is called heaven, honor, power, wisdom… happiness.”

Is that something we should aspire to?

Something we must pursue?

Why? Why must we?

“Heeba, who said you need salvation?”

“…….”

“Is there any difference between that and an adult feeding a well-behaved child?”

If someone like that were a god…

What makes them different from someone slightly more advanced, slightly more powerful, simply older?

Just someone with more strength, more knowledge, able to live longer.

“Did you choose to be born? Was it necessary?”

“I….”

“Does salvation and redemption require your existence? Or do you need them?”

You…

“You weren’t born because you wanted to. It wasn’t your will or intention.”

If there had been such will or intention…

That would imply a completely different realm.

“So why live for the gods? Why pray and worship them?”

“…….”

“Has the god you serve granted your wishes or requests?”

“Well, at least… the god in front of me now… has responded to me, hasn’t he?”

“Let me correct that misconception.”

Taking a deep breath,

I replied.

“I am human, just like you. And I’ve never bestowed any grace upon you. That’s the truth.”

I…

Am none of the gods you know.

“Let me ask again. The gods made the world and created you, right? So tell me, why did they create you? Did they want you to suffer?”

“No way! If that were true… how would he be any different from an evil god?”

“Let me ask again. Then why did they make the world and create you?”

“That….”

“To answer your prayers? Then what about countless other creatures and creations? Do they ignore everyone else but listen only to you? If so, you must be truly blessed. Is it because you’re unique and special? Or just coincidence? A whim of the gods?”

“…….”

“What if…”

If they had a reason for making the world and creating you…

“What if it wasn’t to make you slaves or servants? What if these great beings had something they truly desired from you?”

“…….”

Heeba’s eyes widened as if they might tear apart.

“You weren’t created to be a servant bowing endlessly to them. You’re not powerless.”

You…

“Are the one who can fulfill their desires. Only then can you be chosen, only then can you stand beside them.”

Even after thousands of years…

No matter how long you kneel and bow, nothing will come of it.

Besides enduring and persevering, there’s nothing else.

“…….”

They surely…

Expect something from us.

If we, if I, fail to achieve that…

I will be nothing, even to them.

Nothing to myself, the master of my own life.

“Your reason for being isn’t to bow your head and accept handouts like a domesticated beast.”

So…

Every desperate effort you make to please them hides a terrifying selfishness: the desire to make only yourself respected, valued, and favored.

But ultimately, they’re the ones who made us pursue this.

If praying and bowing could accomplish everything, then they would indeed be omnipotent.

Such a world would be absurdly dull, empty, and meaningless.

“Also, if loyalty and kneeling in worship could earn treasures from them… Even a mere king or wealthy person could manage that. Stretching it, even a thug stronger than you could do it.”

Flattery to win favor with a king.

Flattery to win favor with a god.

Begging for mercy from a robber.

What’s the difference?

If a god is satisfied with such trivial acts, isn’t it disrespectful and blasphemous to the creators and believers themselves?

If we believe our god values us merely for this, aren’t we belittling him? Aren’t we demeaning him as something insignificant?

Why don’t you realize this?

Why don’t you think about it?

“…….”

Suddenly, I turned my gaze toward the Demon King.

…She stood there wearing an expression Heeba had never seen before.

-Carriel, what are you doing now…?

This is strange.

I shouldn’t be saying things like this.

Why am I so fluently pulling out thoughts I’ve never consciously held?

Maybe not. Perhaps it’s a doubt I’ve harbored my whole life.

Because deep within my subconscious, these questions have lingered for a very long time.

“O Lord. No, you said you’re not that. Then… who are you? What should I call you?”

“…….”

For some reason,

I had nothing to say.

I thought about revealing my name, but it felt wrong.

So,

I simply answered.

“I am….”

A dark star.

A star black as pitch.

A ravine among dead stars.

A metaphysical space where gravity has completely collapsed.

The abyss of a black star.

A pillar stretching infinitely deep.

Starlight, trajectories, light chasing its own tail.

And…

Chaos.

“I am one who chases the black star.”

At this moment, I realized one thing clearly.

I…

Somehow feel like I’ve crossed a line.

More accurately, I’ve definitely crossed it.

And I sense it.

Still, for now.

Even if I have, it’s just the beginning.

Only after climbing the mountain did I realize it was the summit.

But compared to the sky, this mountain I climbed…

Is just an infinitesimally small part of the vast ground below.

====

Thinking about it, members of the Irene’s Doctrine often spoke of what the gods desired and wished for.

How many actually believed that to be true?

People who knew likely understood it was just using religion to achieve personal goals.

-If the gods decided everything, why ask us to decide? Why don’t they speak directly? If we choose on our own, we fail, make mistakes, and end up regretting deeply. We may achieve nothing and fall into despair, producing results far from perfection. So why let us choose?

“…….”

-Now, you can probably answer. Tell me, why did the gods give you free will?

“…….”

To live freely?

To live happily?

To change and transform a broken world?

To live peacefully and kindly? Or survive harshly?

“My acceptance of their world, given freely.”

And my attitude towards them.

Their sincerity, their intentions.

For example.

Not blindly following or obeying based on external influence.

“In purely meaningful terms, to obey and fulfill their will and meet their expectations.”

-…Hmm.

“And the opposite too.”

Will you stand beside them?

Or raise a banner against them?

The overseer of hell.

The once radiant morning star defied Heaven due to his arrogance.

Yet, even in scripture, Heaven and the Lord remained surprisingly calm when dealing with him.

What could be the reason?

Even a figure deserving eternal torment for crimes that enrage the heavens still receives unexpected leniency.

So some say:

Since the All-knowing One loves all, He loved him too.

And no matter how much he struggles, he remains powerless against Him, ultimately weak.

…I used to believe that.

Now, I see it differently.

Even his defiance was His will.

-Understanding brings arrogance, thinking I’ve reached His level. Many wise ones and seers fell into this trap, slipping from the heights they climbed. Falling from such heights is death itself—cruelly so.

“I don’t think knowing everything makes me equal to Him. And knowing doesn’t mean I should become arrogant.”

-Right. That’s… your greatest strength. Your nature.

That’s why you’re the Holy Son.

Most people, once their heads swell with pride, start believing they’re gods.

In reality, they’re nothing. Can you create heaven and earth? Can you create beings?

“But, there’s something important I haven’t asked yet.”

-Instead, you gained something greater, didn’t you?

That’s true.

The Demon King pressed on with renewed intensity.

-And now, you understand somewhat, don’t you?

“A little.”

I understand what ruin means.

“They were giants in a past life, not this one.”

Thus, they were promised victory and handed over sovereignty and divine seats to the current gods.

Eternal triumph and prosperity were assured.

But there was a condition.

And…

Those who fell among them didn’t remain fallen forever.

“Past lives, reincarnation… In Irene’s Doctrine, it’s a controversial topic.”

-Did I instantly transform from an earth spirit to a demon without being reincarnated?

“But you retain full memory, don’t you?”

-Who said that? Do I have full memory?

“…?”

-Only one thing is fully intact: the primordial will I’ve pursued since the beginning.

I…

-Still, I just want to understand why this world had to be born.

Gods or whatever, they’re all just guests riding on top of the real foundation.

Ultimately, whether it’s the King of Humans, Elves, Pigs, Rats, Bugs, Rocks, Trees, or Water…

-Everything is tied to the existence of the world and the universe. All of us.

Therefore, to uncover the truth,

We must understand the world and approach the fundamental truth of its creation.

-…Well. Now that the opportunity has slipped away, it’s impossible for me.

“…”

Suddenly,

I asked about a doubt I’d had before.

“Can you become a god right now if you wanted?”

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