Chapter 29

“We’re family now. Without a doubt, from this moment on, I’ll take care of everything that tries to stand in your way or harm you.”

“…….”

“And all the stains on your name? I’ll cleanse them all. All preparations for that have already been completed.”

Just…

“Probably, as I feared, you might come to be seen as someone who depends on me. But if you don’t mind that… then I declare… I will live my life looking only at you.”

“…….”

How absurd.

Even on the day our engagement was announced…

That kid’s expression was so indifferent.

Back then, I was caught up in feelings of inferiority and stubbornness.

I was trapped by resignation and obsessive thoughts, seeing everything through a twisted lens.

To me, you were like the sun.

Your light was too intense—I couldn’t even open my eyes to look at you properly.

It hurt.

Just by your existence.

Just by being compared to you.

Just by being measured against you…

I felt like I was suffocating.

But…

It was ultimately my fault.

My own inadequacy.

I only realized this after pulling myself out of that abyss.

Suddenly,

I see a vivid picture.

Of myself, crouched and small, being forcibly pulled up by that kid.

Maybe…

If only…

I hadn’t conspired with the Demon King…

Would I really have…

Been saved by her?

Would I have been spared?

“…….”

Extremely…

Sweet assumptions.

Not exactly kind, though.

And pretty damn tragic.

In the end…

“If I alone am not enough, then… If it won’t cause you pain, I’d like to give Sylas a chance too.”

“…?”

Huh?

“You didn’t know? That kid has liked you since childhood.”

“Since childhood?”

I knew Sylas had feelings for me, but…

This “since childhood” thing is new.

At that moment, a childish voice echoed faintly in my ear.

“I’m gonna become a warrior!”

There in the small courtyard, under the tree, the little boy holding up a branch declared it proudly.

“…”

“If it makes me happy, willingly. I don’t want to monopolize you and burden you. If I can’t take care of you alone, I intend to use that kid’s help as well.”

Sylas Astina…

“Incomparably lacking, immature, and insufficient when compared to me. But at least his feelings for you are genuine.”

“…”

You’re really blowing him up there, aren’t you?

I almost wanted to burst out laughing right here.

It was awkward, but also absurdly funny.

What the hell is this?

“So, let’s go back.”

From now on…

“I’ll protect you until the day I die.”

“…”

It’s such a strange feeling.

Harsh, yet somehow amusing.

So much so that…

It made me feel even more sorrowful.

Unexplainable sorrow.

The situation I’m in right now…

Is making me incredibly uneasy.

“That won’t do.”

“Why? I wish to understand your reasoning.”

She shows a slight hint of irritation.

That cold-blooded imperial princess…

“That would be too cruel to both you and Sylas.”

“It’s fine because he’s a man. That much I can overlook. I, Ellie Berg Enzul! Am not so narrow-minded.”

“…”

A girl forcing you to take another lover?

I feel like my brain’s going to explode.

Sure, noble families splitting primary and secondary wives is common.

And in some countries, even royal families do it regularly.

But me?

Because of Father, the Emperor…

I’ve never even entertained such thoughts—not even a speck of it.

“…”

Besides…

I intentionally avoided assuming I’d ever be tied to anyone.

Right.

I don’t expect anything.

I don’t trust blindly.

I don’t dream.

Too sweet, so I almost forgot the lesson again.

‘Even relying entirely on her, handing over everything…’

Yeah, not bad at all.

Within the system, if I asked not to face my parents ever again…

She’d gladly allow it.

No need for a job, no need for effort.

Even living as a useless, rotting recluse…

She’d accept it without hesitation.

Her confession and declaration now are based on that premise.

But…

Still…

Even so…

As a man…

There’s no way I could just accept such an uninspiring life, right?

“…”

Most importantly…

I conspired with the Demon King.

Though she may watch over me calmly now…

If things go awry with the Demon King…

If the Demon King changes their mind…

…if they start finding watching over me boring…

Who knows how drastically they might change?

I have resolve.

But I don’t depend.

I trust.

But I don’t blindly believe.

The scope within which I rely and trust…

Is because she watches over me…

…and will never find it dull.

Even demons and Demon Kings wouldn’t find my slow, distorted life appealing.

Let alone the fact that this setup—where Ruelde’s son aims to defeat and humiliate Ruelde himself—is probably one of the most entertaining storylines and gossip from a third party’s perspective.

That’s right.

We made a deal, we contracted.

Ultimately…

The second deal was her stern warning…

Not to harbor any ill intentions.

Also…

“What about Alesius?”

“He must pay the price.”

“…Weren’t they siblings? Surely you didn’t see them as a rival?”

“All people within the Empire are connected by bonds of brotherhood.”

Yet, what did that child do to you and his disobedient subjects, his vassals?

“I’ll make him into a proper human.”

If he doesn’t grow and mature…

“…Until then, he’ll endure a long, arduous journey under my watchful eye.”

This has been permitted by His Majesty.

“If you wish it, I shall do so. Carriel.”

“…”

Beyond imagination.

Seriously.

My jaw dropped wide.

When you think about it…

Our family is far from minor.

Just Father alone has the strength to challenge an entire nation.

And Mother? With the Irene followers being the de facto state religion, there’s no need to even discuss her influence.

The reason I stumbled and faltered…

Was simply because I was inadequate.

Lacking the wisdom to lean on my parents’ prestige.

And also because Mother refused to allow it, fighting tooth and nail.

Mother always reminded me…

Like carving her beliefs into my brain, stroke by stroke.

We are not a privileged class.

We’ve been granted power and rights to serve others.

So, Carriel…

You too should willingly…

…dedicate yourself to the world.

For the world we’ve protected.

And for the world we must continue to guard.

As the Fortress Carriel once did.

Because this is…

…the only path to eternal salvation.

So pray.

Pray.

Let us pray together.

“…”

Come to think of it…

There was a territory where Fortress Carriel once wrote legends, wasn’t there?

I should visit sometime.

Carriel shook her head defiantly.

“No, still unacceptable.”

“How many times must I ask you to explain your reasons?”

Her voice lowers.

I can even sense anger.

After all this preparation.

All these precautions.

All these earnest pleas.

Why won’t you…

“Spilled water cannot be gathered back.”

Ellie’s expression froze upon hearing Carriel’s words.

It’s too late either way.

Yeah, Ellie.

If only you had confessed sooner…

If only you had slowly consoled me, gently coaxing me like a frightened kitten…

Maybe I would have…

“…”

I looked up at the sky.

Up there, the Demon King of Wisdom.

The Golden Demon King is watching.

With a look of pure fascination.

So…

You…

Had predicted this situation long ago, huh?

But back then, there was nothing I could do.

Absolutely nothing.

“I…”

But…

Even excluding that…

My desire to surpass Father…

Still hasn’t changed, not even a bit.

‘Please look at me.’

Praise me.

Treat me just a little kinder.

Me…

Me…

…

I…

Amn’t I…

Your one and only…

Son?

“…”

Not anymore.

It’s not anymore.

Yeah.

Finally, I’ve reached this point.

Ah.

Ahh.

Got it.

That’s why…

Why every moment feels like a hollow ache in my chest.

Why no matter how much I fill it, eat it, consume it—it never fills the void inside me, the emptiness.

It’s been gnawing away at my heart and soul all this time.

What did I expect?

What did I hope for?

Maybe I just…

Wanted to be loved like any other child.

I don’t want to admit it…

Didn’t want to admit it…

But eventually, I’ve arrived here.

Becoming stronger.

Being acknowledged by others.

Being praised by others…

None of it mattered.

I just…

Wanted to be loved by you two more than anyone else.

Even if the whole world abandoned me…

At least you two…

…would remain.

But…

Our relationship ended…

Five years ago, on that day.

The moment you shattered my expectations.

The moment you didn’t believe my words.

The moment you betrayed me.

The moment you turned against me.

The moment you disappointed me.

The moment you cursed me.

The moment you killed me…

Every single moment!

After that…

I wanted to die.

“…”

So…

Now I can no longer expect praise, acknowledgment, or love.

My broken heart.

My damaged heart, crushed heart, scattered pieces of self-respect…

Can’t possibly accept this…

I’m broken now…

Even if they came to sincerely apologize, to say it’s not too late, and pleaded with tears to try harder…

I can’t possibly accept it anymore…

‘It wasn’t spilled water.’

It was the shards of my soul.

And now…

…there’s nothing left.

“Do you truly mean to leave? Even after hearing my sincere heart?”

“Yes. Sorry, but there’s nothing I can do.”

Now I’m afraid.

Of facing them again.

Now…

That single fact terrifies me more than anything in the world.

“Enough! I won’t listen anymore! If you have nothing to say, I’ll cut off this conversation! Therefore, I will not let you go easily!”

Like finally exploding after holding back.

Like a wounded beast.

Suppressed emotions and frustration burst forth.

She growled softly.

“If I don’t hear a reason that satisfies me…”

I will never…

“…leave you abandoned in this dangerous world. I will neither promote nor exile you. Regret! Once was enough!”

It must not happen again.

“Did you think my heart and resolve, determined to hold onto you even at the cost of my endurance, could be so easily cast aside?! No! If I fail to hold you here! If something tragic happens to you afterward! I… I can’t bear it! I can’t endure it!”

So…

Therefore…

If ever…

If, by any chance…

Absolutely.

Absolutely…

If you wish to leave…

“Present me with grounds convincing enough for even me to accept.”

Carriel…

“Carriel Brendiar.”

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