Chapter 20

Posted by Kuze, ? Views, Released on February 8, 2025

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The maid Silphia had been pacing anxiously in front of the door, fidgeting restlessly.

‘Has he woken up by now? Ah, or is it…?’

How long has it been since a simple knock made her hesitate this much?

She wanted to avoid upsetting Carriel’s mood as much as possible.

Given how tough and sensitive he’s been lately, if he gets more stressed because of her….

Even though it’s just been one day, skipping meals during such an important growth period isn’t a good sign at all.

Carriel barely ate and hardly slept properly most nights anyway.

It seemed like things were getting slightly better recently….

‘He even missed school today, so he’ll definitely get lectured for that….’

But this time, neither Ellie nor Carriel could face each other—it was too awkward.

As proof, didn’t Ellie herself, clutching her swollen belly, skip church yesterday?

While it happens often, today felt unusually early.

It happened precisely yesterday morning.

Silphia overheard part of the conversation between Ruelde and Carriel outside the door, which only added to her worry.

Master Ruelde clearly told him to apologize to his mother, but not doing so suggested defiance or stubbornness.

‘Not understanding Master Carriel’s feelings at all….’

When Carriel and Partyna suddenly started arguing out of nowhere, Silphia initially thought it was part of their training or sparring.

But their dialogue sounded off, and the emotional intensity far exceeded normal practice—something even Silphia noticed clearly.

So she quickly informed Mistress Ellie, who initially seemed willing to overlook it, thinking Partyna might have her reasons.

Then something shifted.

Her complexion turned pale, and she rushed out frantically.

Had the mistress been absent, who knows what would’ve happened.

Both of Master Carriel’s hands and arms….

‘Why did he go that far?’

Recalling that scene makes her dizzy, forcing her to tightly shut her eyes.

“Haa.”

What should she do?

No matter how much she thought about it, no clear solution came to mind.

A sense of helplessness crept in, but…

‘No, I can’t give up.’

If I start feeling down, what will happen?

At least I need to keep smiling for him.

I want to be some kind of support!

Just as she steadied herself and composed her expression, the door creaked open, making Silphia gasp involuntarily.

“Why are you standing there?”

“Eh, well….”

Caught off guard by the sudden situation, her mind went blank, but Silphia quickly regained her resolve.

“Are you not hungry? You haven’t eaten all day!”

“…A whole day?”

Carriel tilted his head.

“One day. That’s what I mean.”

“Eh? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing at all.”

By the way…

“Judging by the time, it seems to be early morning. Right?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“…I’m going to hear a lecture, aren’t I?”

Was he talking about skipping academy or disobeying Master Ruelde?

Still, something felt off.

“Master Carriel?”

“What?”

“You seem different somehow.”

“…How so?”

After pausing for a while, Silphia struggled to articulate her thoughts before finally concluding:

“You seem… more mature.”

“Becoming more mature overnight is impossible, right?”

“Y-yes! Haha… sorry.”

“There’s no reason to apologize.”

…?

Something feels strange.

Though I can’t pinpoint it exactly…

Could he really have grown more mature compared to before? Or is it just my imagination?

====

-Feels like reality after years, doesn’t it?

“…….”

Though aware that it was just a dream overnight,

the trials that felt eternal and natural keep resurfacing whenever I close my eyes.

It’s not just imagination or pictures; it feels physical, like tingling sensations.

“Holding nothing feels unnatural now.”

-Your words sound too stiff. Shouldn’t you smooth them out a bit?

…Is that true?

-Time dulls grudges and anger, but how about yours?

“I wasn’t really thinking much until you brought it up.”

But now…

“Now that I see those guys, maybe pretending everything was fine was just deceit and lies. It makes me reflect again.”

When the prince’s gang showed up, my steps faltered involuntarily, and my body tensed from ingrained vigilance.

“Slacking off, huh? Now that you’re engaged to my sister, you think you can act superior?”

“…….”

Red hair, black eyes, a handsome appearance that could leave a good first impression—but for some reason, they look increasingly disgusting every time I see them.

Maybe people destined to never share the same sky are enemies meant to clash like this.

Even though objectively, there’s no real reason for animosity between us.

‘Pathetic.’

That kid is pathetic,

and I myself, who endured their bullying uselessly in the past, am equally pathetic.

“Haa.”

“……?”

The prince and his lackeys’ expressions soured just because I sighed once.

And predictably, the prince glared fiercely, shoving his face close.

His burning eyes and harsh expression alone could probably incinerate someone on the spot.

“What makes you so special that you always act this way? I don’t get it.”

Would Sylas have intervened if he were here?

I vaguely remember hoping for that occasionally in the past.

Back then, I accepted being bullied as normal.

I thought enduring endlessly would eventually make it stop, so I kept putting up with it.

That’s why facing reality head-on was unpleasant, inconvenient, and hated.

I counted the days waiting for the sun to set and the moon to rise because, at least during that moment, I was granted freedom to breathe.

Though thanks to Mother’s endless instructions keeping me awake at night, it wasn’t easy,

at least it was less exhausting and painful than when the sun was up.

So perhaps,

during the hours when the moon sets,

I hoped to stay awake as much as possible.

It’s a weak mindset.

Truly regrettable and embarrassing, but that was my past.

When will I ever escape this humiliating stigma and find some peace?

“That’s enough, Your Highness.”

“What… did you just say to me?”

“Your Highness.”

There he is again.

With a subtle glance around, the prince let out a dismissive snort.

“We’ll have a deeper conversation later somewhere private. A conversation, got it? Conversation.”

He jabbed his finger into my chest for emphasis.

In the past,

I’d be overwhelmed with the urge to crush that finger,

but ultimately feel frustrated knowing I couldn’t, resigning myself to despair while fantasizing about revenge that felt childish and unpleasant.

Many things bother me about this.

But now, how is it?

“I’ll do as you please.”

Clearly, staying trapped in that dream world for so long has affected me.

Unlike before, I no longer lose myself to absurdities or suppress myself until I break.

Now, I remain calm.

This small change lets me feel inner peace, showing how lacking in mental space I used to be.

“…….”

With the prince glaring at me from behind, I walked toward the school gate.

Thinking back, even commuting to school, I’d either arrive extremely early or intentionally cut it close to avoid catching their attention.

Recalling that behavior fills me with fresh shame.

Disappointment in myself now serves no purpose.

“I’ll wait. For that ‘conversation.'”

How constructive it’ll be remains to be seen.

====

“Carriel, are you planning to sit this one out again?”

“…….”

Staring blankly at the swordsmanship instructor, Carriel remained unbothered by the heavy gaze directed at him.

What’s changed from before?

…There’s no particular reason.

Do rocks or trees react angrily when humans meddle with them?

My resolve within needs no verbal reinforcement.

It already defines who I am.

Thus,

“I’ve decided to put aside the Empire Sword.”

“What?”

Uncharacteristically bold, he continued:

“I intend to hone something else instead. Is that okay?”

“Did Sir Ruelde teach you some new technique?”

The mockery in his tone was obvious despite his words.

“Not a chance.”

Speaking sensibly, his expression twisted nastily upon receiving sarcasm in return.

“Are you trying to play word games with me now?”

“…….”

Though he could continue mocking, it felt tiresome.

In the past, once he started, he wouldn’t stop until it reached its conclusion.

But now, he couldn’t even utter that single phrase.

“Don’t give me special treatment by focusing on me. Please allocate equal time to the other students.”

“Is that supposed to be an excuse?”

“Does it sound like I’m excusing myself?”

Something feels off.

Not just the teacher but also the students observing with interest found his brazen attitude perplexing.

“Teacher~! Why not challenge him to a guidance duel? He seems overly confident!”

“Looks like he learned some new swordsmanship and thinks the world revolves around him.”

“Abandoning the Empire Sword? Maybe the Empire Sword abandoned him?”

Laughter filled the air—some genuine, others mocking.

Even without the prince present, his influence lingered everywhere.

But so what?

“…….”

Especially now,

with the esteemed Princess not even here.

That must be why these kids feel emboldened to act up.

Unlike me, she skips classes legally and receives praise like “Thank you for your hard work!” or “We’re worried about you!”…

‘No, that’s misplaced frustration.’

Blaming Ellie is unnecessary.

The reason is simple: why does everyone treat her favorably while treating me with disdain?

Why must I always be singled out and looked down upon?

Upon closer inspection, differences exist.

And,

there’s no obligation to compare myself to the princess.

‘Don’t confuse your comparison target.’

Misdirecting resentment or hostility is problematic.

The true source of malevolence lies elsewhere.

Don’t mistake your opponent.

Don’t waste emotions on irrelevant matters due to emotional whims.

Emotional turmoil ultimately wastes vital strength.

That energy should be poured into training instead.

“If you insist, here’s what we’ll do.”

Casually scanning his surroundings, Carriel proposed: