Chapter 22

This is my first time leaving the room, officially speaking.

Of course, I go outside once a day to perform blessings, but that’s just going down underground with Hieronymus and coming back up, so I’ve always been moving along the same path.

So, this is officially my first proper outing.

By “officially,” I mean it’s kind of like that—just take it as it is. Whatever the reality may be.

Loads of people who’ve received my blessings have wandered around this area.

So, this district map is almost completely filled out.

Therefore, the point of this stroll isn’t to look around but to move my body. Didn’t someone say I should run for at least an hour?

When I search through my faded, now mostly gray memories from before, that image pops up. But back then, I exercised for two days and then quit.

This time, I’ll need to work out more, right?

As I walk out of the room, Wide follows behind me.

“Hey, Rebecca. What’s the purpose of this outing? If you’re trying to absorb warmth, I can’t let you do that.”

“That’s already arranged for three times a day, isn’t it? I’m here to jog—to maintain my body. They say people need to run.”

Of course, it’s all in some tone like I read it somewhere. Rebecca Rolfe might think I know this stuff, but really, I saw it in a video.

I don’t lie.

Anyway, Wide points at my body while saying this. I look down at myself. My chest blocks the view of what’s below, but my body is healthy. I check my range of motion by twisting around.

Everything moves smoothly. I’m surprisingly flexible.

I can even do poses I couldn’t when I was a man.

I stretch my legs into a split, stand on my hands, then get back up.

“My body works fine.”

Wide looks at me like she saw something she shouldn’t have. She scratches the back of her head and steps closer.

Then she lifts my chest with her hand. Her hands are tiny—it feels like I could lick light through them. She’s close enough to give off warmth.

Of course, I endure.

Yeah… for now.

I still need to hold back—for now.

While I’m practicing patience, Wide lifts my chest a few times, grabs my clothes, and sighs deeply.

“If you move around like this with such heavy assets and thin clothing, both your clothes and your body will break. There’s gear to fix that—do you remember?”

Gear…

Other people’s memories contain plenty of examples. For instance, Isla struggled to move after suddenly growing into an adult body thanks to my blessing.

She experimented with different outfits back then.

But there’s no such memory in Rebecca Rolfe’s recollections.

“There’s nothing like that in Rebecca Rolfe’s memories.”

“In that case, I’ll prepare it for you. Shall we head back to your room?”

Ah, so that’s how it is.

Wide didn’t want me leaving my room in the first place. We need some prep time.

Were you just waiting for an excuse to send me back?

Or did you see this as a good opportunity to test me?

I know this person hasn’t fully relaxed yet.

She often smiles painfully when looking at me. Most of the time, I thought it was because she found me amusing, but actually, it’s the opposite.

It’s a habit—an old one.

She used to smile instead of showing fear. So much so that, no matter her real age, she forgot how to express fear when she felt it.

If she says something while being scared, I’ll follow along.

“Alright.”

So, I turned around and headed back to my living quarters. As I did, I subtly checked Wide’s expression. She looks relieved.

And beneath that expression… there’s light at the core of her being. A significantly larger light compared to the average, paired with a very small amount of warmth.

Big light, lots of warmth.

Big light, little warmth.

Small light, little warmth.

These three exist.

But I’ve never seen a small light with lots of warmth.

Light is the vessel, and warmth is… something else.

At first, I thought it might be potential, but if that were true, babies wouldn’t have such little warmth. So, the nature of warmth remains a mystery.

My guess is that when I enter the light, its color changes because I’ve entered the vessel. Originally, it’s like a transparent glass cup with water inside, but when I step in, it turns murky.

In other words, Wide has a very large vessel.

I look forward to the day it warms up.

If I could, I’d want to gather lots of warmth. Until then…

I returned to my room.

Once I sat on the chair I usually occupy, Wide said she’d look for some underwear and left.

She really is looking for underwear, but that’s not all she plans to do. She likely intends to report to Hieronymus.

But that’s fine.

Still, it’s alright.

Hieronymus views me entirely as his subordinate.

Yes, he thinks he’s completely tamed me. His gaze, actions, and expressions all carry disdain for someone beneath him.

Especially when he speaks to me politely—it’s truly something to behold.

But I don’t care.

Yes, I can read everything, but unless asked, I won’t reveal that I know. If someone were to ask whether I can read expressions, I’d say yes.

I don’t plan to lie.

So, Hieronymus probably thinks this:

Rebecca Rolfe’s body weakens if left alone. She went out to exercise because her body needs it, but came back upon Wide’s request.

A perfectly domesticated creature.

Zing zing.

The weakness of the creature shows.

It obeys commands.

There’s no problem anywhere.

Since I’ve consistently acted unintelligent, I don’t need to overthink how Hieronymus perceives me. Unfortunately, I’ve only observed a lot—I’m not particularly smart. Complex calculations aren’t my thing; it’s just that.

If only becoming a monster meant also becoming a genius.

But you can’t wish for what you don’t have.

Thus, I lower myself to make it easier for me to speculate.

For warmth, I need to carefully consider my current cards and keep moving forward.

I need more warmth.

As I planned for the future, the door opened, and Joanna entered carrying new bedding and covers.

“Welcome back, Joanna.”

“Yes, Mistress Rebecca. I’ve returned. Oh, could you please step aside slightly? I don’t want to bump into anything.”

Joanna’s arms are full of bedding, but judging by her gaze following mine, she knows exactly where I am.

Would I interfere with someone diligently cleaning my room?

I stood up from my seat, picked up the chair I was sitting on, and moved it to the corner.

Seeing me, Joanna smiled faintly and walked toward the bed with the bedding. She skillfully tidied up the space.

The mattress inside is large enough to seem difficult for a woman to lift, but Joanna can easily pick up a barrel-sized object with one hand.

She’s quite strong among those who’ve received my blessing.

But her light isn’t that big—below average.

So, having a large vessel doesn’t necessarily mean great power, I guess.

Not sure yet.

“Where did Wide go, Mistress Rebecca?”

“She went to find underwear.”

“Oh, underwear? Shouldn’t all that be in this drawer? That underwear belongs to you, Mistress Rebecca.”

While covering the mattress with the cover, Joanna spoke. The mention of underwear made me realize she knew it wasn’t Wide’s but mine.

Surprisingly, I responded affirmatively.

Joanna neatly smoothed out the cover with a couple of taps, then shook the blanket a few times until it was neatly folded.

Her skills are impressive.

She approached me. Her blue skin is a peculiar shade—not the bruise-like blue but something different. Her appearance suggests she’s more of a girl than an adult.

Her eyes are reverse pupils—often called devil eyes in certain stories—which makes her look alien despite her gentle demeanor.

Joanna smiled softly as she approached me.

“Seeing that you’re wearing unfamiliar clothes, does this mean you were planning to go outside?”

You caught me.

Joanna isn’t purely innocent. It’s strange that she can put on such a mild expression.

After being abandoned by her husband and kicked out of her home, she endured all sorts of harsh jobs. She tricked people and even sent others to dangerous places knowing they might die—all for a pittance.

That’s how she survived. Without the healing magic of temples, the injuries and hardships of this world can ruin both body and mind.

A typical story of misfortune turning someone evil. Even after taking refuge with Future Hope Church, it stayed the same.

Just to survive, she harmed others, pulling them down to rise herself.

Until her broken body eventually gave in to decay, and she was dragged here as an experiment subject by Hieronymus.

“Yes, that’s correct, Joanna.”

“So Wide went to look for workout underwear, huh? Someone I know well has those. Would you like me to fetch them?”

Joanna placed the chair she took from me back to its original spot.

“It’s fine to wait until Wide confirms what she brings back.”

Joanna nodded. Her gaze holds no religious fervor when she looks at me. She simply tends to me because I’m higher in status. In my memories, I thought she clung to Future Hope Church as her emotional anchor and would obsess over me—but there’s no sign of that distortion.

Instead, she’s become rather balanced. During the day, she cares for me, and at night, she goes to train as a warrior of faith.

Even when crossing paths with Isla or Wide, she paid no attention to either.

Most people blessed by me grow egotistical and start trusting their own strength over faith.

Or perhaps Joanna understands my thoughts based on her experiences?

Maybe she sees me as just an animal and cares for me like a zookeeper would care for an animal.

So, we maintain a polite distance.

Oh, there was one time I startled Joanna. One day, while my harvesters were fighting knights bathed in light far away, I laid Rebecca Rolfe on the bed and focused on the distant battle.

After the fight ended, I noticed Joanna reading a book next to Wide. The moment Rebecca Rolfe got up, Joanna closed her book.

So, I told her she could keep reading. Do whatever you want.

She was strangely surprised then, though nothing changed afterward.

If anything, the only change is that she occasionally reads books from Wide’s shelf when I’m idle.

But since dealing with a passive me is boring, I should encourage her to do something.

Because when I die, I’ll take everything with me.

I’d like to gather as much as possible so I can take more with me. Warmth is still the most important, but licking memories can be fun too.

That’s about it.

This is how I live in this vast room.

---