Chapter 117

It’s kind of awkward between Glaria and Davi, but there’s not much we can do about it for now, so we decided to just leave it be.

What’s more important to me right now is the relationship between Ria and me.

Well, technically there is an officially defined relationship.

A Saint Candidate and her knight.

Not exactly the kind of relationship you’d find in a fairy tale, right? I mean, a Saint and a knight maybe, but a ‘Saint Candidate’ and a knight sounds a bit awkward in many ways, don’t you think?

Apart from the awkwardness, I genuinely see Ria as my knight. At least, Ria, who’s by my side, has been fighting solely for me until now. If she protects someone else, it’s only because I happened to be there.

And, well, let’s be honest.

I know it’d be dangerous to misinterpret things. Ria’s work is precisely that, just work.

For a female bodyguard to help me out doesn’t mean she has any personal feelings for me, right?

But unfortunately, Ria’s looks are way too attractive for me to feel absolutely nothing—like, I can’t keep my fantasies completely at bay.

Her personality is fine too, and her skills are great.

No, hear me out. I’m a full-fledged otaku; I’ve read manga, anime, web novels, and light novels from a very young age. I even snuck into comic cafes against my family’s wishes just to dive into more. So, is it really too much to ask to not have those kinds of fantasies now?

A beautiful girl risking her life to protect the protagonist. Okay, sure, Ria is just beautiful in this case, but still, it’s a classic trope.

The real problem is that I could fall into that ‘beautiful’ category too.

“Ugh.”

I buried my face into the pillow, squirming around. My body felt all tingly. And if I had to compare that sensation to an emotion, it would be close to embarrassment.

This is the kind of shame you feel alone.

Yeah, I know.

I get it that Ria acts so casually around me because she sees me as that kind of same-gender friend. The fact that she put a bikini on me was likely to both let me have fun and tease me a little.

There were plenty of times when our bodies ended up touching, usually because I collapsed or had to hold onto Ria tightly.

So… all these actions shouldn’t be loaded with emotions.

Considering my personality, even if I was born as a handsome man, I probably still wouldn’t confess to Ria. Just because my looks change doesn’t mean my overly shy nature will transform easily.

And now that I’m a girl, it’s even worse.

I don’t even know if these feelings are something I could confess. Am I feeling just simple carnal desire just because of her looks?

This might’ve been something easily resolved if I were a guy.

Knowing that men and women don’t need to have such heavy feelings wrapped up in relationships is one thing. Honestly, I could just confess and walk away. It wouldn’t be weird if Ria has had experiences like that before.

“……”

But I also know I can’t do that.

To put it simply, I’m endlessly shy when it comes to matters like this.

And in the end, it just circles back to the starting point.

Dammit.

*

Ria had a rather big dilemma lately.

And naturally, that dilemma was related to me.

The reason I say ‘naturally’ is pretty simple. Recently, the only person Ria had to worry about was me.

But the content of her worries wasn’t as simple as the reason it came about.

Whoosh.

Split second, hot water poured down from the showerhead, as Ria sank into deep thoughts.

There was only one showerhead in this shower room. It wasn’t hard to understand why, considering there were two people using the room. It’s difficult to fit all the facilities to be used simultaneously. Even in shared houses, it’s common to have just one shower cum toilet.

But it’s not exactly a shared shower, is it? Rather than accommodating two, they designed it for one person to use at a time, and thus, there was even a bathtub inside the shower room.

Ria started pondering because a thought suddenly struck her: ‘Can’t two people shower together if there’s just one showerhead?’

“…No, that really seems wrong.”

She muttered to herself, shaking her head to dismiss that bizarre idea.

I mean, maybe a couple of little sisters might think like that. I mean, they could play together in a bathtub if they’re really young. Maybe even go in with a boy during a time when they knew nothing. Ria didn’t have that kind of experience, though.

But the thought of an adult woman improvising ways to share a shower designed for one person seems weird.

It would be cramped. One person could be rinsing while the other soaps up, but it would most definitely lead to unwanted water and soap suds all over the place.

And, moving around, they’d end up touching for sure.

In the end, if they tried to efficiently shower together in here, the only way would be to spray water together — and maybe soap each other up too.

No, that’s even stranger!

Ria groaned weakly as she pressed her forehead against the shower room wall.

If they sprayed water, how would they do it? Would they be huddled together under the shower? And what about soaping up? They wouldn’t be soaping each other, right?

What if they got into the bathtub?

“…Ugh.”

Even thinking about it was a little ridiculous. What the heck was she contemplating about her roommate?

Ria raised her head and blankly stared at the water-streaked ceiling.

“Have I built up too much carnal desire?”

There really hadn’t been many chances to let it all out lately. Living in a shared situation makes it tough. There’s no means of solving private matters. This shower room has walls and doors that are too thin.

By the way…

Had Anna ever released her carnal desires like this…?

“…No, that’s going too far.”

Ria lightly thumped her head against the wall.

Could it be that the single time they had kissed was making her think like this? Or perhaps —

…It could simply be that she was too comfortable being around Anna. At least, among everyone Ria had met so far, Anna was a presence that one could transparently look through.

Initially, she saw Anna as someone pitiful, worrying about her stepping into society.

But now, just being together brought her joy.

Ria didn’t want Anna to become a Saint. Anna must have her own dreams, and she’d much prefer her to live freely out there. Above all, if Anna became a Saintess, it felt like she might just disappear alone.

At the same time — Ria wished this phase of life would last a little longer.

A painfully contradictory emotion that was too difficult to define.

Ultimately, until she stopped stalling and stepped out, Ria couldn’t draw any conclusions.

*

As soon as Ria finished showering, she rushed back into the shower room.

It felt way more embarrassing to be seen with damp hair than anything else.

Ria’s hair wasn’t as long as mine. It took much less time to dry. Of course, it took longer than what guys typically spend drying their hair.

When I finished showering, Ria was already dressed in a fresh outfit, having dried her hair just enough.

It was similar in design to her usual nun’s outfit, but it was actually more of a light nightgown.

Even though Ria’s nun’s clothing was somewhat loose-fitting, this outfit was a bit puffier likely meant for comfort while sleeping. The fabric flowed like a light curtain, softly draping beneath her chest.

It wasn’t like I was trying to look, but I definitely knew how her body shape was below. I’d memorized it well enough after one time at the beach and after hugging her tightly. Heck, I even had my head resting on her shoulder once.

“Come here and sit.”

As if she had been waiting, Ria gestured to a seat.

“Huh?”

“Your hair is long, so let me help you dry it.”

She said it with a completely neutral face and tone.

Yet, this was the first time Ria had said anything like that.

Did that mean we’d gotten closer somehow?

I had no reason to refuse.

I walked over slowly, feeling nervous, and took a seat.

Anna’s hands gently touched my hair. She turned on the hair dryer, and a perfectly soft, warm breeze brushed between my strands.

“……”

“……”

Neither of us spoke for a while.

It felt like we ought to say something. I wasn’t quite sure if the atmosphere was awkward or not, but still…

“Ri, Ria?”

“Yeah?”

When I called her with a bit of a shaky voice, Ria responded.

“Um…”

I hesitated for a moment and then asked,

“We’re friends, right?”

Immediately regretting it.

No, what kind of question is that? Seriously, how awkward!

“Well, yeah…”

Incredibly out-of-the-blue question indeed, Ria answered.

“Why are you asking something like that?”

“……”

Exactly.

What on earth was I thinking?

I could feel my face heating up as I shut my mouth tightly.

Even though Ria had stroked my hair many times, honestly, I found it a bit ticklish this way.

…

No, why am I even thinking like that? Today is just so weird.